The Narcissist Has Stopped Giving
Whether you recognise you are ensnared with a narcissist, suspect you may be or doubt it, understanding that person’s behaviours with regard to the giving of gifts is useful. Not only will it enable you to identify a key indicator of the behaviour of the narcissist, but it will enable you to understand why the individual is behaving in this way. You will make sense of the nonsense and with that comes relief from confusion and anxiety.
This material explains
- What is behind the gift buying pattern of the narcissist
- Why this is a indicator exclusive to narcissists
- Explains the contrast with the gift buying behaviour of non-narcissists so you can make a comparison
- What factors impact on the behaviour in terms of the school of narcissist, cadre of narcissist and position in the fuel matrix of the victim
- What the narcissist is seeking to achieve through this and what you can learn from it
- Examples of what to expect from Greater, Mid Range and Lesser Narcissists
- Examples of what to expect from the Elite, Somatic, Cerebral and Victim Narcissists
- Even if you are not specifically interested in gift buying, if you want to learn more about the school and cadre of narcissists generally, then make use of this material as part of building your library knowledge.
Using HG Tudor´s unrivalled insight, gain information and understanding behind the curtain of narcissism.
This Logic Bulletin is delivered in an easy to understand audio file for just US $ 5.
62 thoughts on “The Narcissist Has Stopped Giving”
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Dear NarcAngel,
I just luv your comments. We can be complete on our own. Self love is paramount and number one priority before someone else comes into play. Raise that bar and never let anyone treat you below your own self worth…. ever! Finding a partner is no guarantee for happiness.
Luv Bubbles xx
💜
Dear Mr Tudor,
What is the “turning point” in your relationships when you stop gift giving and could you please give examples?
Thank you
Bubbles
Devaluation.
HG,
I don’t know if this has been mentioned before, but this “twin flame” mess. Have you considered doing a writing about that? In my opinion, it is total nonsense and does so much harm giving people false information and hope. I think you might cut through all of that with logic and facts. Just a thought.
Yes, I have. A reader raised it with me last year and it is in the list of articles which I wish to write because I see this twin flame concept as unadulterated horse shit.
Thank you!!! I agree.
T..
I keep getting fb ads for this twin flame thing..i dont know what it is but I was assuming it was some kind of bullshit. Good… now I dont have to google lol
That’s crazy.
I’d love to believe it, and maybe it does exist, but nothing I’ve ever encountered. We meet a lot of people during our lifetime, this is true. But I don’t believe that someone is just going to show up and be the one. But who knows?. Relationships take a lot of work and commitment. I’m not sure there’s someone for everyone anymore. That doesn’t mean I’m correct.
T… namaste lol
Julie, yes, namaste!
T
Yes, namaste to you all! I have namaste and coexist bumper stickers on my car so all the narcs can know what I am before they even meet me! 😝😝. I’m proud to broadcast to all the world what I am!
Windstorm
Lol. If youre going to be a driving billboard, be sure to slap on a narcsite.com bumper sticker from Tudors Treasures gift shop.
HG approves.
NarcAngel
Ha, ha! Would if I could! If HG actually had a website gift shop (or better yet on Amazon), he’d make a ton of money! He’d need a different name though, there already is a Tudors Treasures – not that he’d let that stop him. Lol!
HG, you should dedicate some minions to this. Big market for coffee cups, T-shirt’s, totems, and bumper stickers, just for starters! Endless possibilities.
Okay. I like Tudors Toys anyway. Goes better with the 8 inch flesh coloured Tudor Totems. Hush sold separately.
NarcAngel
Batteries sold separately, too? 😂
Windstorm
Batteries. Good point. I was hoping to go solar but lets face it-they’d never see the light of day long enough to charge.
LOL windstorm!!
“Relationships take a lot of work and committment”
Is that another lie we’ve been sold? One that causes us to think that we need to put more in, need to accept things we dont want, forces us to stay longer than we should? I dont think we need another job. If its not working or we’re not happy, shouldn’t we be moving along to one of the other billions of people who populate the earth instead of slogging away and buying into the fantasy that if we keep investing it will pay off in the long run? Isnt that what kept a lot ensnared? Even here I see women saying to one another things like: You’ll meet someone who really loves you, and I’m not going to date for such and such a period…and I understand that they are keeping positivity for the future, but I cant help thinking: why is this even entering their mind at this point? Is this how heavily ingrained it is, that we must immediately be looking to pair up in the future to be happy?. That we can be in the aftermath or still in an abusive relationship and be thinking of how it will be different in the future with someone else instead of thinking: I am whole and ok on my own? Once you are good with yourself I can see you looking up to notice someone that has been walking beside you quietly and realize you enjoy their company, instead of feeling like you always have to be looking ahead and rushing to catch up to someone in order to be happy or successful. And as I am writing this last sentence I realize… this must be the mindset of the love devotee: Love means a successful coupling and not love of self.
Ok…nevermind. Carry on.
NarcAngel
Understand and agree. While relationships with anyone (from your kids to people at work) do require constant work, we may never meet someone who truly loves us like we want them to. The whole soulmate thing is wishful thinking. We just have to deal with what life gives us.
True love requires love of self and acceptance of reality.
Well that’s my new thing to learn today. Just googled “twin flame.” I can see how someone who believes in this concept could mistake their narc for one. They’re even supposed to come and go in your life and cause you pain. Seems like a concept midrange narcs will go nuts over.
We are in agreement on that. Although, might we call it pig or cow shit instead? Technically speaking, horse shit doesn’t smell that bad. Lol
Dear Mr Tudor,
I’d very much look forward to your article on this.
When I first met the weasel, I actually asked him “have we met, you look familiar” …… then he started finding the same parallels with me …. what the? He always looked up his daily horoscope as well and would relate to me. I told him they were just generalisations and could apply to anything.
The other day I commented on one of your posts … oh lord it’s hard to be humble ….Mr Bubbles came home, saw something on the news and uttered those very words…. I asked what made him use that line and then showed him my comment to you…. just hours apart🙀
We were both in shock 😮
Dear Mr Tudor,
Mr Bubbles and I have known each other since I was ten years old, (I wrote down my name as Mrs Bubbles on paper at ten years of age) were friends first, then we ended up married, our kids are now grown up, happiest we’ve ever been …. we were destined …. I can’t explain it !
👴🏻👵🏻💜
After bringing up facts of narcissist and “facts” of a twin flame in a group I belong to….yes I actually joined a twin flame group and still belong to a couple, I am a narcissist and came into that group to manipulate people. I laughed at that one. The adman didn’t like my response to “their” facts and blocked me. IMO they didn’t like being faced with the truth. Those I belong to still, if I get someone curious enough to come visit here and they wake to the truth. I can not make them drink from the cup of truth yet I can show them the cup. I am so going to Hell with some of the images I get from my own comments.
I used to believe in soulmate but now i see it as myself. Im my own soulmate. When i can be at one with myself(and my god) then i can better be with another. This soulmate with another i dont believe in the same way i once did. My soulmate is myself and god. Im still not there but at least im not looking for it in another person bc it doesnt exist or at least not in the way the term soulmate is thought of.
Narc Affair
The most you can ever hope for in a narcissist is a Holemate.
I meant where their soul should be but the other thing works too lol.
Im not into tatts but if i was id get a narcsite evil tatt 😂 itd stop narcs in their tracks lol
I do believe that there are people who play a special role in our lives, but not only a single person, and not always in a loving way.
I also think that it has to do a lot with our (relationship) patterns. Such as: my exnarc’s childhood, his family, mirrored mine in an astounding way. Noone ever got as close to what I had known from my childhood home.
Ava,
I agree with part of that. A lot of my stuff in my relationship had to do with my issues with my family. What I was referring to was the part about the twin flame stuff where people are talking about the “runner/chaser “ aspect, etc. It basically reads like fall for a Hoover and stay in an abusive relationship to me. That is just my opinion, but it seems like dangerous misinformation.
Can a mid range narcissist be a sociopath, HG?
HG,
what was the name of the article about 5 (?) signs or also tests for telling if someone might be a narcissist (when on a date)?
How to flush out the narcissist – there are two parts to it.
Thank you! 🙂
Ava101
Ah, so youre flushing them out there in the the dating world lol. I wondered where you’d been. Curious to know what you find if you care to share.
Hi NarcAngel, 🙂
haha, yes, well, …. *turning red in face* …
Things have changed indeed, thanks to HG I have learned to recognize empaths ;D , and in general what to look for when meeting new people, it has worked quite well the past months.
So I had ventured out again, and have gained some new trust, especially after experiencing an empath DJ who spreads so much light.
As a result I went out again (dancing) and met new people indeed, amongst them my uhm …. current French lover. 🙂 He is 100 % not a narcissist, and in general a new experience in regard to the type of men I had always been dealing with in the past. He still has attachment issues though (or has the need to stay in control by claiming so … as I will be leaving the country very soon and he claims not to care … not so great to hear, and he _might_ be protecting himself or myself, I don’t know ….)
Either way, I’ve been enjoying myself going dancing with him each week now, taken out for dinner, being cooked for, etc. 😉
[Actually, one of the most important things I have learned from HG is the fact that he does not feel music!]
I am also just really busy with preparing leaving my country, as I am selling everything. I want to forget about my old life. Also after realizing how my mother really is, or why, I don’t care anymore about staying near my family like – at all.
After being with the exnarc my whole world had turned upside down, and after reading here for 1.5 years now (wow), this is the result. 🙂
But as my lover insists that we do not have a serious relationship, another lovely guy seized the opportunity when we were out, to ask me for a date today. That one is too good to be true, hence the need for remembering the flushing out the narc questions. 😉 He is either a really cool empath or a narc, I will see. 🙂
How about you? 🙂 I hope everything is going great for you. 🙂
NarcAngel
P.S.: In general, the flushing out works quite well, like when being in a group setting. I have learned to pick up warning signs right away and then watch people, I also don’t feel defenseless anymore. 🙂
“Normal” people can be very hurtful, too, especially … when knowing that someone is capable of empathy, and capable of love, but chooses not to be. But it is nice not to have anyone in my life anymore, who is sucking the life out of me, or hurts me on purpose (or full well knowing that I am getting hurt). For the moment, I have banned that successfully out of my life. 🙂 Narcmother is probably going berserk by now probably, but after thinking everything through, I simply don’t care anymore.
Ava101
Im am very glad to hear that you are out enjoying life, and that the things you have learned here are helping to facilitate that in being in better company. Changing countries is a huge move but an exciting one, especially if you are leaving toxic people in the rear view mirror. You sound in your message like a person that is lighter and full of promise and I wish you all the best in your continuing journey. Enjoy Ava.
NA
NARC ANGEL, YOUR SOO UP LIFTING TO ME ! REMEMBER WE HAVE BEEN GROOMED BY OUR LOVED ONES FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE TO TAKE IT ,🚼 THE NARCISSIST BEHAVIOR WILL ALWAYS BE ALL AROUND US ,!WE GIVE CLUE,S BY THE SOUND OF OUR VOICE , OUR SOFT EYES ,😘😇😎!WE. WILL ALWAYS BE A TARGET IF WERE EMPATH,S. JUST KEEP STUDYING & WITH H.G. !! KNOWING THE NARCISSIST SINCERELY SHARON!
NarcAngel,
thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
Yes, things have gotten lighter, indeed. There has been a huge shift at the end of last year.
🙂
I feel like I’ve had a dark angel and a light angel showing me the way out of the darkness, which I had come to believe I would never leave.
I have remembered who I was before all of this began, many, many, years ago. And suddenly, more positive people are coming into my life, too.
🙂
Two of the most practical articles on the site are How to flush out the narcissist 1/2. Should be able to figure it out on the first date. Try not to ignore your first impression of them or rationalize behavior that makes you uncomfortable. Ask yourself “do I like this person?” rather than “do they like me?” Much 🍀to you!
Good point in your last sentence.
Thank you. 🙂 I do like him. 🙂
I’ve learned from the best. Many thanks to you, Sir.
HG,
would you be frustrated if I fell for a narcissist?
No, it is your life.
Good luck, Ava! Hope all works out fantastic for you! Positive thoughts and energy! ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Thank you, dear Windstorm! 🙂
And to you, too!
Well, a huge bunch of flowers for you, HG. If I hadn’t had your insight …
Current suitor displayed hundreds of red flags in full speed in just two dates within one week…. including testing me, trying to manipulate me, …
Might be a narc or not, either way, not a healthy, empathic individual judging from all he said and especially his behaviour.
You are welcome and well done.
HG TUDOR ;
It appears to be getting worse .
I so desperately need to have your good counsel .
However , I won’t { once again } be able to afford your services , this month .
Unforeseen financial hardship , currently.
I look forward to the day when Ill be able to have a proper conversation with you .
Hopefully for me , it won’t be too late . 💜
You are often in my thoughts . 🌹🌹🌹
Wishing you an awesome week ahead 💕
Don’t wait Monet. Read The book “Escape” and GOSO!
Spot on. My lesser never stopped with gifts. Flowers all the time. Especially after arguing. Matter of fact he bought me flowers and we made vacation reservations the night before he discarded me. I always found it strange. Who TF does that? My Greater however was a whole diffrent creature. I was the gift giver. He NEVER bought anything. But boy I was expected to be down at the Tiffany store and Nieman Marcus buying him shit. Good lord what was I ever thinking? Or not thinking.
During my devaluation, he acting like being with me was a chore for him.
In dealing with the facts and cool, hard logic, for him I was a chore.
He was good…he was the first man to convince me I was beautiful, then tell me two years later what an ugly body I had.
That hurt me to my core.
Hi T!
You’re not alone on that scenario. For the first 6 months JN was never short of the compliments about my body. I admit, I was very insecure since he had been the only other man I slept with following my divorce after 17 years of marriage. So I soaked all that up. Then yes, 2 years later during a heated fight, he just took it to a nasty below the belt level ripping apart my body head to toe. Looking back, whatever we were fighting about, I must have closed in on a nerve unsettling him so he had to deflect and get me off balance.
I’m so sorry, Clarece that you had to go through that too.
It’s gut wrenching.
Interestingly enough, with all the commentary on TV about the royal wedding, one reporter (reflecting on the sermon given by the Chicago Pastor on the “power of love”) said “all things good come from love. The biggest, most influential changes in your life happened with people who love you.”
Hmmm….no, I can’t say that is true. I have many blessings. My daughter evolved around all that is pure and loving.
But in contrast to that, I never felt so despairingly low and questioning my own existence and purpose than what ugliness emerged these last few years with JN. Then layer learning the whole narc dynamic from a narcissistic sociopath that got me righted on the path to heal.
Influential, oh yes. Nothing loving about either of these events.
Clarece
Yeah, people do tend to exaggerate. No offense to preachers out there, but they exaggerate all the time. I think it’s because they feel compelled to change people’s thinking over to the “right” way and use whatever means they have available. Distortion and twisting of facts is acceptable if it influences the audience favorably.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I hear someone saying “facts” that aren’t correct, I doubt everything else they say.
Windstorm
I find most preachers (not that I watch many-only televised) far more concerned about their performance than their content. It is a performance after all. The short clips I saw of the preacher at the royal wedding showed no different. Now of course hes making the talk show rounds.…
The faces on the Brits listening to him (or not) were priceless. I wish someone would edit a video with bubbles over their heads lol.
Narcangel.. yes!!! I was watching their faces also! I am not even British and I was horrified for them. I cant begin to imagine what went through their heads! Some were even just about laughing 😮
But the flowers were nice lol
NarcAngel
Yeah, the preacher at the royal wedding was putting on a show, but that’s very common here. He’s probably like that every Sunday. You’re right. The faces on the British guests was priceless!
Yes, they get written off as instant blowhard and my mind shuts down. lol