I Love You (And I Always Have)

I LOVE YOU(AND I ALWAYS HAVE)

This is a well-used phrase by our kind and is wheeled out with regularity during love-bombing. At face value and of course that is how you will take it because you are in the midst of a veritable whirlwind of compliments, flattery and passion, this seems a straight forward enough comment to make. However there is far more to it than meets the eye. Just as we operate from a different perspective to you, we also utilise language in a different way and one of the key ways of tackling our kind is to understand what we are REALLY saying when we use these delicious phrases and appealing comments.

So, what do my kind really mean when we say “I love you and I always have”?

My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love in the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me. My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that they are thrown to one side, but that is something different and not the purpose of explaining what I mean when I say the above phrase to you.

I say I love you and mean I am infatuated with you. I am infatuated with three things that you will give me through my successful seduction of you.

  1. Fuel, the most important item;
  2. Useful traits which I can apply to my construct and parade as my own achievement, characteristics and accomplishments to make me appear even more attractive to you and other people (and thus get more fuel); and
  3. Residual benefits such as a roof over my head or getting you to pay for things.

I want those three things. I want the fuel most of all but the other two matter as well. To get those things I need to seduce you. To seduce you I need to say things like this, grand statements which will amaze you and sweep you off your feet. Why will it have this effect? Well, because you are a love devotee. As an empathic individual one of your traits is that you are a love devotee. This means you belief very much in the concept of love, how love is wonderful, how love can conquer all, how love crosses any boundary and love is amazing, splendid and the best thing in the world. I know you are a love devotee because I have studied you before I approached you. With this knowledge I know that making a statement like the one above will resonate with you considerably for the following reasons: –

  1. As a believer in love you want to hear that someone loves you;
  2. You want this love to be grand, sweeping and extraordinary. By explaining that I have always been in love with you, I achieve this. It is a statement which conjures up images in your mind’s eye of me waiting for years before I picked my moment to tell you, of me sitting with my love burning away and how you have never noticed. It appeals to you to think in such terms. It is romantic and glorious.
  3. I will have plausibility on my side. I may know you already as we may be friends or colleagues. I may be a neighbour. I may be your therapist even. If I do not know you in detail, we may know each other by sight and the occasional hello from attending the same gym or such like. You may not know me but I will generate (fabricate) a back story that I have watched you from the coffee shop every day as you walk past (once I have established that you do so) and I have been in love with you. This plausibility overcomes any natural hesitance you may have. The immensity of the love factor in this statement will overcome any slight scepticism you may have, that having been eroded already by the plausibility.

Saying this statement is a direct shot at your heart and is part of the harpoon strike that we engage in when we are seducing a victim.

It is not true however. We have chased plenty of people before you. We may have only set eyes on your two days ago and we do not love in the manner that you do. Everything about this statement is false, it serves our purpose to seduce you and to do so quickly.

To learn and understand more about what the narcissist really means when he says certain things to you, read DECIPHER : WHAT THE NARCISSIST REALLY MEANS

US  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01G964SI8

UK  https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01G964SI8

CAN https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01G964SI8

AUS  https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01G964SI8

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6 thoughts on “I Love You (And I Always Have)”

  1. Here’s the Red Flag. If any relationship is one sided, then question it. “My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant.” – HG Tudor. Look at your relationships. If you are doing all the giving, walk away. Reality is simple, even our lungs go both ways (inhale & exhale), the telephone line goes both ways, the highway, not to mention HUGS. If you are there for those you care about and they aren’t for you, question this. I for one will never be spiritually and mentally abused or used again.

  2. Oh.my.god. Yes narc number 1 returned after 13 years saying I still love you. I always have. No matter what happens I will love yoh for the rest of my life

    1. Got one of those yesterday. A bit quick on the Hoover. I knew he’d cheated. Called him a deluded shit amongst other things and I’m insulted with this cut and paste B.S.. total insult. .

  3. I would like to thank you for encouraging me to go no contact. Your posts are harsh but I believe they truly reflect the mind and motivation of the narcissist. It’s a hard truth to take on. Reading one of your posts one day I realized that I had gone from IPPS to IPSS. Everything you described was spot on to the last detail. It hurt reading that but it was also what prompted me to severe all ties. I actually stopped following you at that time because I couldn’t handle the truth and it was too painful. I started following you again as I need to face the truth that everything about our relationship was a lie. What you write is very important in spreading the truth about narcissists.

    1. Indeed it is, but also warns people to wise up. Red flags everywhere. Culpable to quite a great degree. We didn’t have to be seduced with all these warning signs on display. Kept fighting through them but each time I’d conceded ground. Accepted a bit more madness into my life. Then bit back damn hard when it got far too much.

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