A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 38

Here’s to that thankfully fateful and particularly enlightening moment in the crazy Joe show, when I realized exactly what you are and that I, just like every person you know, and will ever meet, was there simply to prop up and maintain the infirmity of your colossal ego. It’s cool Baby. I simply flipped that switch and saved myself.  Ha!  I knew in that moment that I would be leaving you.  I spent every day and every waking moment seizing every opportunity until the day I left.  Incrementally planning and implementing my exit away from you and your evil while acting the part.  You now know absolutely that I did. Lol!

Eventually, you saw it coming and desparately you dangled all those carrots on that stick.  Yeah, you did. Lmao!  Always with the hilarious, tender, handholding, looking me in the eyes, pink smoke future faking, bullshit and lies you thought I believed! On the day of our divorce you even tried that pity play! You believed every word that came out of my mouth. I didn’t believe a single one that came out of yours. Liar.  A pitiful attempt to keep me caged. Ha! Ha!  I just kept a straight face and carried on each and every day.  The last two weeks were especially entertaining.  When I was ready, I radically cut my very long hair to publically announce so that everyone knew; There is NO-ONE with dominion over me, but me. Least of all, you. Everybody noticed when I left YOU. Everybody noticed. Incidentally, I hate carrots.

Meanwhile, you will do as you have always done. You will trick nice, decent, women into bogus depracating relationships with deceit, false charm, manipulation, mirroring,  pretty lies, and pitiful lines while you play the hero, and or the victim. It is your life game.  Love and lies. You will always need to turn on that act to trap someone that you can keep around to feed and stroke that massive but delicate ego of yours.  You will always need  to trap someone to keep around to batter emotionally and punish to make yourself feel better when you’re mad about anything, even your made up crazy. You will always need to trap someone to shoulder any and all accountability as you have none.  You will always need put on that act to trap some kind and giving woman to gain control of and steal into their life because you are incapable of living with yourself or make a life of your own.  The trap always starts out so pretty. Wonderful times. Then one day the mask slips and the true Joe appears.   Not love. Never love.  Dishonest. Emotional bondage.

By the way, did you ever read the comments on the Bryan Adams video?! So funny. I bet you thought that video was for you didn’t you? Lmao!

You have always and will always manage to find good, kind, generous people to use, punish, hurt, take advantage of, and put down and use.  Hurting or belittling people is the only way you can feel like a big, strong, tough guy.  Shallow. Evil. An aging bully. Ah, but in the dark of the night and inside your silly little head… you don’t like that guy any better than the rest of us do.

You do hate it, but it’s how you make yourself seem bigger and better than you feel you truly are. You like to pretend that you’re a “good guy”.  You and I both know you aren’t and that there is always a price for your “kindness”.  Real good guys take their dying brother to the beach when its only an hour away and it’s their last hearts desire. Your dying brother had his bag packed for weeks and you made sure that he knew you were never going to take him. You made sure he knew that you were ignoring him. I made sure to point it out to everyone.

FYI…That will all work out for you exactly as it has in the past. Do keep in mind that you’re getting old. Keeping that mask on, hiding while denying your erectile dysfunction, and fooling people is alot of work and upkeep.

Divorce, court, and having to deal with your tax problems that YOU caused were, frankly, the only things that have triggered any thought or consideration of or about you since I left you. I’m not angry at all. I just figured I would enlighten you with my takeaway of “our life” together as I leave you with this final thought…