Shoot You Down
A plaintive wail which I often hear is along the lines of,
“Why do you always have to shoot me down? I give you everything you could ever want. Why can’t you just be happy with that?”
As usual you delude yourself with such a statement. You do not give me everything I could ever want. You think that you do, but that is the self-centredness that you often exhibit creeping in once again. You certainly care, I will grant you that, but you make the mistake of assuming what you do is what we want. What we want is fuel. I know what comes next.
“I always told you how much I loved you, I admired and complimented you often and frequently. How much more could I make you feel good about yourself?”
Therein lies the problem. No matter how good your intentions and how frequent your worship of me, my kind and me will always grow tired of it. We have heard your kind words and seen your appreciative gestures too many times and it, well, it just does not do it for us anymore. I am sure that you emotionally in touch people would be the first to complain if a long established partner engages in the same routine in the bedroom. It does not hit the spot anymore does it? Well, it is just the same for us. You may ultimately accept that things cool somewhat in the bedroom and I know from what I have seen and heard that you trade this passion off (although not always, there are some sexual thrill seekers amongst your kind) for other qualities that you find attractive – humour, companionship, security, warmth, good parental skills, intelligence and such like. There is no hope for any such trade with us. We only want one thing from our relationship. Fuel. We do not care (ultimately) how good-looking you are, how much of a whore you are between the sheets, how wonderful a mother you may be, what a raconteur you are or how much you earn. We will never accept those things or anything else as a substitute for fuel. True enough, the more aged of our kind sometimes accept these things when their need for fuel diminishes but that need never goes away. They may decide to accept these attributes alongside largely positive fuel, but they will still need to stir things up from time to time.
That is not going to happen with me. I am at the peak of my powers and therefore my need for fuel remains substantial. There can be no substitute for it at all and nor can there be any co-existence between the provision of fuel and other attributes. It is fuel or nothing. In order to achieve this I have to shoot you down because once that is done you start to flow with the potent negative fuel and my cravings start to be addressed. You can beg and plead with me, you can point out how you will always only ever have eyes for me, you can express your love, desire, adoration and admiration on an hourly basis but there comes a point when it just does not have that sweetness anymore. It is then that I pull the handgun from my jacket, attach the silencer and fire several vitriolic bullets into you. Your pain from these wounding bullets gives me the fuel that I need and therefore your shooting is necessary. Moreover, it is your punishment for letting me down. You really ought to be capable of pleasing me the whole time but so far, all that I have chosen have failed. That is why I now expect you to fail and have that gun to hand at all times.
When I shoot you down, I become more powerful as the fuel flows from you. Moreover, it is easy to get someone to admire and adore. Those reactions come naturally to your kind. It is far harder to extract tears, anger, frustration and regret from the empath. Managing to do so imbues your emotional reaction with greater potency, your fuel becomes supercharged and this is what we want. We cannot shoot you down from the beginning, we need you stood on a pedestal first, after all, you present as such an inviting target then and your toppling as the bullets slam into you becomes all the more satisfying.
I sense your dismay as you read this. You had hoped that by keeping me sweet and onside through a dazzling and tireless display of love, affection and admiration you had hoped to avoid such an attack. Your concerns should not be absolute. There is an upside you know. Firstly, when we find someone else after we have shot you down, keep in mind they will eventually be riddled with bullet holes no matter how happy we both appear at first. It is coming to them as it came to you. I am sure that makes you feel a little better doesn’t it? Secondly, there is a huge saving grace.
We never shoot you dead.
We need you alive so we can raise you up again as we re-load.
29 thoughts on “Shoot You Down”
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Your comments are great Quasi keep them coming. Thanks for your nice words re the new man, I’m very nervous as he is giving me a strong golden time, already told me he loves me after a short time. No other red flags yet but I’m looking out for them. He talks about the terrible times he has had in the past with father, step father and ex wife, all who sound like narcs and his past very similar to mine, so I’ve gone through times of thinking him an empath and co dependant, then a possible covert narcissist and back again. Thoughts anyone?
Lynn ,
I hate to say it but saying he loves you after a short time, and telling you the ( whole story ) of his woes very early on would be big red flags to me. You also called it a golden time lovely… I think you may know he is likely to be a narcissist, or have at least picked up some strong traits and learnt behaviour, from relationships with above.
If you have any doubts I would just leg it regardless.. it’s a shame if so , but you would save yourself another world of grief by getting out now. If you are less responsive and back away, more red flags will probably start poking up and waving at you like an energiser bunny on speed!
Quasi thanks for your interaction.
I’m being very careful don’t worry, I am holding on very tightly to my emotions and watching carefully for red flags. I will never be a victim again. So far there is no controlling behaviour but he seems intense so I’m guarded.
He is very kind and caring but I am not melting into that, sad to think he could be genuine and I could potentially ruin something good by being so untrusting but I wont be hurt again.
I would have doubts with anyone now lol guilty until proven innocent but I’m going to continue and see what happens.
You would never offend me Quasi, I am totally open minded to all opinions, I myself can be quite cutting in my comments, we are fuelled with emotion and this writing board gives us good healing fuel to each other instead of giving it to the fiendish Narc.
Much better way of channelling our fuel but we will share a bit of the fuel with HG because he has done a lot of work and I suppose we can grant him a little if he behaves himself hee hee titter only playing HG
Keep writing with your true feelings Quasi
Lynn xx
Thank you Lynn,
I appreciate your comment.
I do definitely write with my true feelings, too much of them if anything. Lol
Good writing and artistry with language deserves credit in my opinion.
With regards to fuel, I was thinking about this earlier, if HG was not a greater narcissist, but still a well known author, people would not think twice about praising him; they would just do it. If you like what you read, how it is written, if it resonates, if it provokes, if it’s emotive, if it has meaning to you. You like it, you like the author and appreciate their skill.
Why should we treat HG differently? Why should we curb our enthusiasm? Because we don’t like what he is? What he does to people ? I think we are giving ourselves abit too much credit if we think that we are giving him loads of fuel, because we are not.
We would have no idea what another person in the public eye does behind closed doors. Another famous author could be a tyrant behind closed doors and, adored in public. We still praise them.. write great reviews, cheer them.
We only know about HG’s life because he tells us. He has the balls to put himself out in an arena for judgement and criticism, from an audience of people terribly hurt by his kind. ( I am aware that lack of empathy probably enables and strengthens this ability, and it is generally fuel. And his omnipotence helps a little ‘!! Hehe,… but hey)
Credit where it is due, give a toss about fuel, it’s minimal at best.
So I am one of those that will state when his writing has meant something to me.
To be honest I have found narcsite and all of you wonderful people to be a force for change. I have felt empowered and supported. X
Hey – Who cares – no curtailing!!! Check me out with my bad self ….. lol
Hi Quasi
Yes absolutely and the true evil must be smashed in our faces as much as it hurts. My situation stopped almost as soon as the devaluation started as i was directed to these sites, gained understanding and called him out big time, I have mostly only been tortured with a broken heart but god only knows how bad it would have been if so hadn’t done that and therefore he hadn’t discarded me I probably would of let my narc hurt me for a long time so yes HG does I feel provide that service to make us truely aware.
Other sites follow with healing advice which of course this site will always lack and that does pose a bit of a problem because we can feel good we finally know the truth and stop blaming ourselves and know to never let it happen again, fabulous, but then we are left with our dick in our hands, metaphorically speaking as I don’t have one lol wondering how to just stop hurting. Guess as usual it’s just a matter of old father time to fade the memories. That’s why I use other sites too because I need that fellowship with the pain too.
Good news is I have met a male victim and we are getting on well. It’s so strange as first dating since my narc experience and its funny how all comes back to haunt you. ie I keep waiting for bad reactions from him as narc would have done but they don’t come, it’s lovely.
Lots of love x
Good for you lynn..
Good luck with the new man.. hopefully you will aid each other’s healing, as you can relate and understand what has been for each other.
Healing isn’t the driver for this blog but I feel that it has aided my healing as a by-product, secondary to learning all I needed to know about narcissism. It’s kind of like talking therapies, expressing yourself and being heard by others who have experienced similarly to you. HG is not here to heal, but he enables us to support each other in healing.
I have also found the blog very helpful for desensitising regarding narcissists as a whole.
I have tested myself with different things and learned a great deal from this. My learning here has been incredibly valuable to me.
hi Quasi yes great words healing by product and desensitising, we have done the acceptance now comes the indifference. I feel though that even when I have achieved that objective I would still like to stay on board here. I like the grittiness among us, I spout off wrongly sometimes and you great people pull me up and put me right and Iove it. I even feel we could have friendly arguments with differing views In a healthy way as part of the healing learning process and if new people read it it may help them too. Where are you now Quasi have you reached indifference or are you still dealing with emotions from your experiences ?
Dear Quasi,
I sincerely appreciate whatever you write and that applies to everyone here. I thought it was really good and couldn’t see anything wrong (pity I can’t “like” anymore)
We are all damaged goods here. Mr Tudors articles stir our emotions through his brilliant writing and makes us recapture all we have endured.
I reacted to one of his pieces in the beginning and it offended someone, but it wasn’t directed to Mr Tudor or anyone. I was just airing my thoughts as his article hit an extremely raw nerve. It was the first time I could actually say something as I was hurting dreadfully, felt completely crushed and it just spurted out. That’s how powerful and effective his writing is ….. I feel you have nothing to be sorry for. You have feelings and emotion … be proud.
We luv you
Hugs to you 🤗
Luv Bubbles xx
😘
Thank you bubbles… that is very kind of you. I appreciate your words, very much so. X
Dearest Quasi,
💋Mwah
💜
Quasi – I agree with Bubbles!
Please don’t curtail your comments (you are certainly not alone in admiring/reflecting on HG’s evocative writing style and subject matter) and while maybe there are some who should perhaps curtail their responses (I now just view that as evidence of where they’re at in their journey) – I don’t include you among them.
Plus, I have written things here and altered them to be less triggering or more diplomatic – but it didn’t matter squat. You simply cannot predict what will upset people.
Again; so quick to judge yourself 😉
Who cares,
You do seem to have an ability to lift me up with your insights and kindness.. you are very wise and your comment made me smile. Thank you x
Dear WhoCares,
Thanks precious …
Well said …. especially your last line
Luv Bubbles xx
😘
Well said Bubbles
Dear LYNN,
Thank you
😊
Curious HG what was your longest time with a source did you have before you needed to get the gun out? and why did the positive fuel last longer ? was it you just found her the most attractive or was it wit or work skills or cookery skills or the sex? what makes the shine stay on longer for you? would your answer probably be narc universal ?
Lynn
That’s all good to know. We always reproach ourselves thinking we failed, that we should have done things differently, this is good reassurance that no matter what we had said or done or how differently we had behaved that it would have all ended the same.
Do you find though HG that the need to have your shoot time comes much later the more good-looking your victims are? Is it all on looks until the worm turns?
Lol did I call you a worm?? 😂😂
Looks are not a key factor, the devaluation occurs for the reasons set out in the article 5 Reasons Why We Devalue You
Did you ever have more the “girl-next-door” type girlfriend or more of a “plain Jane” girlfriend? If so, did you find with your manipulations that you could induce more jealousy or competition with them over time by making them feel inferior to previous relationships with better looking women (by your standards)?
Hello Clarece, I have and yes.
HG
So you could be just as happy in the golden period with an unattractive women as an attractive women? It is only about how well you think they will react to your manipulation and not about whether you find them physically attractive?
Lynn
I do not do happy. If you read Sitting Target you will gain a superior understanding of the qualities which apply to different types of narcissists, physical appeal is but one factor and its importance varies dependent on the cadre of narcissist and the prevalence of other traits and characteristics of the empath.
“I do not do happy.” So sad HG 💔
MB… it may feel sad to us, but its not to him…. not to me either, as I don’t really do happy much either.
HG does not feel happy and sad, love and hate like we do, he only feels FUEL, and FURY…(from wounding.) That’s it! Nothing else in there.
Apart from a very sophisticated brain, that mimics and learns very efficiently, intelligently analyses, takes on board all relevant facts and information, adapts and portrays the character in which he needs to be at any time. He is like a top notch really good computer or car
I will bet an unattractive target has not stayed in your golden period long though lol your fuel must be large part to having an attractive women on your arm to parade around with ??
They play up whatever you are insecure about in devaluation to hurt you, to see if you will stay and try harder, and to give themselves an excuse to cheat.
Powerful, provocative, beautiful, honest, dark, sinister, malevolent, bang bang!
I love the analogy of shooting you down through devaluation to gain the most potent negative fuel, continuing to shoot but not kill… your no good to the narcissist dead or so broken that no more can be extracted.
I don’t believe I ever really provided negative fuel, that was not my role( only on one night at the end of our dance). He never witnessed tears, he never witnessed anger, only once he witnessed hurt.
I find this writing style the most emotive as I’m sure is the intention. For the heart rate to increase, for the senses to become hyper stimulated; for the article to be very effective. Tis good ya!
I just wanted to add a little side note to my comment on this article following some reflection.
When I read articles like this I react to the writing styles, and I have commented on my appreciation of the article from this perspective, liking the analogy’s used, the way it flows and what it provokes.
I feel that I need to think abit More before commenting in the future, as I know many here have been though devaluation with narcissists which have been horrendous. I would not want to Offend anyone here, and have so much respect for you all.
It is a very good and effective article, but it will also cause other emotions in people who have lived this. So I just wanted to apologise to any who may find my original comment insensitive.
I Really like HG as a writer, but I need to think more about the subject matter, before I comment.. forever reflecting and learning…