The Cold Dead Stare
You should consider that you are rather fortunate to be given these glimpses into the workings of my mind. Ordinarily you are unable to peer into the dark mind of my kind and me. As an empathic individual you do cultivate an ability to understand the way that other people are thinking and how they are feeling. It provides you with a degree of intuition and this is applicable to many of the people that you meet. You apply this ability for the purposes of doing good things and I understand why you do that. Notwithstanding this ability, however, it does not work with us. You are unable to establish what is going through our minds or what we might be thinking, no matter how desperate you are, to be able to do this. This is because we do not abide by the normal rules and conventions of everyone else. We do not travel on the well-worn path but instead we take those routes which are far from the beaten path. These routes are tangled, unmapped and dangerous and they are so designed to prevent others from following us down them. We do not want you to know what we are thinking.
This is because we have no desire to convey to you any advantage in seeking to escape our effects and make it harder for us to obtain fuel from you. We must cloak our minds and make them impervious to your attempts to read them. We must operate through secrecy and covert behaviours so that you never see us coming, so that you never know what will happen next and so that you have no opportunity to evade us. Not only do we shroud our minds in this manner through our rejection of logic and the adoption of behaviours which are outside those considered normal, we also ensure you cannot read us through our eyes.
Many people look to the eyes as a device for gauging what someone might be thinking or perhaps more accurately feeling. If we are explaining something to somebody and we see confusion in that person’s eyes we know we must adopt a clearer method in our explanation. If we are conveying some news and see a pained expression in those eyes we know (if it was you making the comment) to alter the manner in which it is expressed to make it less painful or to do or say something to offer support. Of course, when we see it, we merely increase the pain in order to extract a reaction from you.
This weakness of the eyes in allowing another person to gauge how someone is feeling and therefore ascertain what they are thinking is not something that we can countenance. This is vulnerability and we do not like vulnerabilities at all. We have enough to contend with, without allowing you to see what they are. Accordingly, in order to ensure that our mind is impervious to your inspection we will either adopt a cold, dead look in our eyes which renders them impenetrable or we will simply reflect back at you what you are feeling and mislead you. When we adopt that cold stare, it may be designed to induce a sense of dread in you but it has a primary purpose. This purpose is to create a shield so that you are unable to ascertain what we are thinking and thus our plotting mind is secure from external influence and can proceed in its scheming. Should we reflect back to you what you are showing to us, we are doing this to mislead you, but also again to prevent you from having any chance of understanding what is going on in our dark minds. Our minds are the core of our operations. Our minds control everything in order to achieve our aim of securing fuel and as such, this most precious of devices must not be compromised in any way by people like you and your meddling.
We must ensure that our minds are ring-fenced, cut-off and protected from your attempts to read us. Should you be able to do that then you will be taking away one of our advantages. We know what you are thinking and we know what you are going to do next because you are an empath and you not only wear your heart on your sleeve but you wear your mind there as well. Your eyes allow us straight into what you are thinking and feeling. Your mind may as well be transparent or broadcast its thoughts onto a flat screen for all to see. You are easy to work out and study, hence why we choose you. A similar fate must not befall us and this is why we ensure at all times that our minds are impervious to your penetration.
11 thoughts on “The Cold Dead Stare”
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Involved with a narc for the last 2 years, to the day, today. I’m fully familiar with the “cold dead stare”, and have misinterpreted it over and over again – but not anymore. I know he uses it to keep me in the dark about what he’s really thinking. As co-dependent, trained by my father to please at all costs, I have honed my powers of observation to note the tiniest change in a person’s demeanor; the barest flick of an eyelash tells me more than you know. The trick is in the interpretation and avoiding personalizing it when you’re dealing with this narc. As a result of my association (I won’t say relationship) with him, I’ve also perfected my “game face”, my blank look that I use, even when he’s screaming at me, and which I hope gives away very little. Lately, his mask has been slipping, and at odd moments I notice an expression on his face or in his eyes that gives me a clear look at his insides, most recently when I was cheerfully giving him back the silent treatment that has become the norm when we’re together. I was happily going about my business when I happened to look his way and the expression on his face, of pure malevolence, told me all I needed to know. He had a twisted snarling smile, but his eyes were furious and at the same time, cold. It only lasted a moment, but I saw….I saw.
These looks are a sign of stress, or internal pressure, because things are not going well for him in that moment. Also a similar sign of stress is that he will have a verbal outburst and inadvertently say something that is the truth. Like, “I don’t even want to talk to you” when we’re in the midst of a debate on some subject. He can’t bear to think that I’m intellectually superior to him, it burns and twists his insides.
The norm when we are together is silent, stoned, and sulking. He goes through the motions of the barest minimum of interaction with me – a solitary text message each day, and the things he used to do for me have stopped. I’ve answered in kind, following the pattern: silence and “not doing” – laundry, cooking – greetings or goodbyes, not answering texts or passing on taking his calls, leaving our bed to sleep in the spare room, not being forthcoming about things that ought not be state secrets – like his work schedule.These are all things that I’ve protested in the past, so I’m sure he gets a hit out of my responses. Hence, no response. If someone is pressing your button, you move the button.
HG’s right. Don’t waste the opportunity to see what there is to be seen, when you can.
Not sure where this comes from HG but ‘ I didn’t want it, I didn’t need it and you cheated me out of it’ .
Oh the stare.
An ex bf of mine always told me when we had a fight over the phone or through messages “watch it, I am giving you my evil eye look now”. Of course I knew which look he meant alright, the look of pure evil and emptiness. When they say if a look could kill, you would be dead on the spot kind of look. It is only in retrospective that I realise that he was a narc too.
He never scared me though as I always gave him the same stare back (I know fuel nevertheless) and it thrilled me so much to provoke such a reaction out of him. So I always told him I am giving you the evil look back, but then he would say I know you do, but mine is more evil, aaah these people even a look is a competition and they must always win.
Mirror Mirror
Is when the N mirrors back at you your own facial expressions. Their eyes are alive and sparking as they sink their claws in you to feed. All you are seeing is your own emotions reflected back there. This is a mask, a part of the facade. I’ve heard that some Ns even practice various looks in the mirror.
Blankness
I’ve seen this a couple of times, one in a photograph and one in real life. The first was the Greater Elite. He sent me a picture and I was surprised by how his face looked, it didn’t look ‘right’. It bugged me but I put it to one side. The second time was when I was in bed with the upper Middle. I had turned away from him and was gazing at the wall, thinking of my writing. It had bothered him though because he said ‘what are you thinking about’. I turned to him and before I could speak I saw exactly the same look that I had with the Greater. A curious blank eyed, blank faced look. Not malignant nor evil, just nothing. Even his voice sounded blank. But it wasn’t just the same look, they even resembled each other with their facial expression, long, curly hair and beards. If it wasn’t that one was dark eyed and dark haired and the other one blue eyed and with blonde hair, they could have been brothers. It was that similar.
Reptile eyes
The reptile stare has happened with my brother (LVN), a Dominant (GCN), A Top (LSN) and another Dominant (GEN). My father (MCN) exhibited to a certain degree but he was pretty good at hiding it. You can be happily chatting away and suddenly you notice they have gone quiet.
You turn to them and they are looking at you which such ‘dead eyed’ malice and fury; for no reason you can see. When you experience it for the first time, it actually makes you jump. The familiar face you know and love is not there. Something else is behind the eyes. It was recollecting the look on the GEN’s face then reminding myself that I had seen the same look on the GCN’s as well that made me stop; pause and go, OK – something is going on here. This is not normal (whatever that is).
Hallo HG.
As an avid reader have to say your works are good 🙂
A question if you please.
How can you mirror it back to us if you do not know the emotion, do not feel or truly understand the emotion. How can you reflect it back in your eyes?
But we do know the emotion, we watch and listen to what you do. Some of us however are more accomplished at this than others.
Thank you HQ,
You dont feel the emotion though so it is fakery.
Is it that we are easily duped?
Hg, I would clarify that. You know what the expression of that emotion looks like. And you only know the expressions that you have witnessed. But since you all never know how that emotion actually feels, you dont really “know” the emotion.
I agree with that explanation, WS.
I Have Been Exposed To This Cold Dark Look In My Male NARCISSIST FRIENDS Eyes , Pure Hate ,Why? When We Love Them And Treat ThemSo Good , Maybe Because We Do , Could Be Because They Interpret The kindness We Show As Mocking Them .! Just Last Week He Opened The Door On My Car ,And After I Got In I Said Thank You HANDSOME , As He Shut The Door I Heard Him Say , Thank You HANDSOME You BITCH ! (In His Mind ,I Was Putting Him Down , My God You Can’t Win ,He Drove Away And Stopped So Fast Dead Stop I ALMOST Hit The Windshield! Why? Because I Started Singing With My C.D. MICHAEL AMANTE , DELILAH ! I Didn’t Notice He Cut The Hair In His BIG NOSE !!!👹😷👺👺!
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W