Why the Narcissist Downgrades
“HG, I am decent-looking, have a good job, I am intelligent, caring, fun and interesting, I dress well, I am a dab hand at cooking and nobody has ever complained about my bedroom skills and he has left me for THAT! Why?!”
It is a refrain I have often heard.
Why, when the narcissist could have you, did he go and choose somebody who is clearly inferior to you in so many different ways?
What is so good about her or him?
Where have you gone wrong?
Why on earth has he chosen her over you?
Why has the narcissist downgraded?
This gives you the answer and it will not only help you understand, it will make you feel a whole lot better too.
9 thoughts on “Why the Narcissist Downgrades”
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Would you inflict a good deal of injury if you did this to the narc first? And, would this still happen if you were the trophy/IPPS and he knows you would get satisfaction/laugh at him if you’re seeing him with someone uglier? Ok, I admit I kind of wish this would happen to me, but I’ve been disengaged as usual. Probably smart on his part.
Also, I just read your Revenge book and I <3 it.
I am pleased you liked the book, thank you for reading.
If you are with someone else (regardless of who it is) this will wound the narcissist so long as the narcissist knows about this.
Does this apply when the narc impregnates the replacement as well?
Indeed.
In the narcissist way, it makes complete sense. Thank you HG. I have questioned myself silly but now I know what he was thinking and why.
This would not bother me either Lilly. I would just wish them congrats and move on. Obviously it’s never pleasant to be replaced, but then if that person is a narc, you know she is gonna go through exactly the same kinda treatment as you just have. You just say: hmm I’ll give it 6 months, and if they are still together, then it’s real, and good for them. If not, and they are making a big deal about it, then you know they are thinking about you all the time they are with that person. Even thinking of you while they are having sex perhaps. I’ve had this where he said, “I was thinking about you while I was having sex with her, because it was only way I could get into it and keep going.” Like, I’m not going to be your fantasy dude while you are having sex with someone else. Time to deal with real life kiddo! Lol!
This would not bother me at all. First of all I am not a jealous person, that is why triangulations with other exes or other females never worked on me. One time when he was telling me about some girl he met and that she was all over him or something like that and I did not react like he hoped I would, he repeated the story and asked me what I thought about that. My response was, oh do not worry, I get those reactions from guys all the time. Of course the silent treatment followed soon after that. When I ended the entanglement with the narc I told him please find someone else I am not the right person for you. And I truly meant that!
After having read all of your books & all the blogs in here, I guess I am curious about wondering if there ever was a primary woman who you did not get back or affect with a hoover after it was over?
I am nomadic therefore I never resurrect the formal relationship with the IPPS. All have been hovered, save where it was completely impossible.