Spectre
Whether you believe in ghosts or not, we certainly behave with certain similar attributes. We appear out of thin air. It is similar to how you can never remember the beginning of a dream can you? You cannot remember quite how we appeared. We just did. We seemed to coalesce into your life with the ease of a ghost walking through a wall. We arrive and ghost into your life. In the same way as seeing a ghost, when you experience us, it is not an event that you will forget in a hurry. We sidle up to you, insert ourselves into our lives and make connection after connection with you as we feed from you. Like some wraith we attach ourselves to you and steadily begin to suck the life force from you as we gorge on the fuel that you provide.
Often we will vanish just as we arrived, without any warning or announcement and try as you might you cannot find us again. It is as if we have disappeared off the face of the earth. Naturally we chose the moment of our vanishing act without any concern for its effect on you. We slip away like a mist evaporating. Once we were everywhere, woven around you and captivating you. Much in the same way as one might be transfixed by the appearance of some spirit. You are entranced by our appearance, there is something ethereal and mysterious about us that causes you to be drawn to us and then we are gone.
We are that elusive spirit that can now not be found. You might go to the same place where we first manifested but there is no sign of us. We have left no footprint, no trace of our existence when you try and seek us out, just like our spectral cousins and then suddenly we have returned. We ghost back into your life and continuing our haunting of you. We are incessant and ever present, drifting about you as we resume our extraction of fuel. We resume our draining of your spirit, leeching it from you as our cold, dead hands take hold of you once again.
People have many theories as to what ghosts are if they indeed exist. Some suggest that where there has been a sudden explosion of emotion, a heightened experience, then an imprint has been made on the fabric of existence. This imprint appears to those who are attuned to seeing it. That imprint is seen doing the same thing over and over again. It walks the same route, passes through the same wall and then vanishes only to appear the next night in the same place. The spirit follows the same routine like a piece of video film stuck in an endless loop. Just like such a ghost we engage in the same behaviours over and over again. The same actions all designed to haunt you as we extract our fuel. The same gestures, the same actions all of which must be replayed. Some believe that a ghost is the soul of someone who has suffered eternal damnation. He or she has been denied entry to heaven or hell and instead has been consigned to walk the earth for eternity, stuck in an unceasing routine. Our endless quest for fuel finds us in such a similar position. We must make our way through life, restless and never finding peace. We move from place to place, unable to rest and be satisfied. Instead we are driven onwards, plagued by the curse of our need for fuel. Thus we must haunt others, our appearance bringing dread and fear in the same way as terror follows the appearance of a spectre.
Unable to quite fit in we are ghost at the feast. Even when we have vanished there is a lingering coldness that strikes you to your core. You still sense us, able to feel the effect of our chilling appearance. You are wary and anxious as you know we will appear once again. Quite when is a mystery but as we first arrived and as we first disappeared we will ghost into your life and continue our haunting of you. Better consult that exorcist.
17 thoughts on “Spectre”
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HG do you ever feel you oddly out of place in your body, your mind and living among somewhat normal human-beings? That YOU don’t fit in, but you do many things to fit in. YOU feel unsettling a lot. So to NOT feel unsettling YOU do all of these things to NOT sit and think about YOU of your presence in this life. YOU are just surviving. DO you have any foundation you live by of the direction of the life you live? AS many have religion God 12-step meetings OR for you just getting fuel?? BUT I Know YOU are expanding Beyond most of how a Narcissist lives………For me my foundation is living a spiritual life of learning and growing and helping others. I believe in the Supernatural of Good and Evil and God and his workers. AS it took all of that to get the Narc. stench off of me and back to me, but like most of us WE will never be the same of who were were before having a Narc. enter our life and take us over. AS I have learned Know thy enemy,
I do not feel out of place in my body, but I do not feel that I fit in with those around me although it is necessary to create the appearance of fitting in.
I may be reading into this but do you ‘feel’ differently here (on the blog) then you do in real life? I mean, it must be very freeing in some ways…your presentation of yourself here: this is what I am..this is what I’m capable of…I am capable of these horrendous things in my close personal relationships, in fact I am the ‘best of the best’ at these tactics…yet we see a different side to you here that most people reflect positively on. In essence you are saying: love me, hate me, take me or leave me as I am because, either way, I care not. It must less burdensome to just be able to put yourself all ‘out there’ …only it’s here…where you don’t have to maintain a facade…only a few rules.
(Sorry if I’m not making much sense.)
Yes, I can have a different dynamic here than in ‘real life’.
Thank-you.
HG
In saying that you feel you dont fit in with those around you, do you mean you feel innately superior and are allowing yourself to their level in order to fit in? or are you painfully reminded that you lack in some areas (emotionally) and strive to adapt to fitting in so you are undetected as different? Either way-it must annoy that you are always expending energy to adapt to others instead of just being.
Ultimately, you either have very broad shoulders or you are truly, and utterly, impervious.
Thank-you for indulging my more personal questions in the past – they were not asked frivolously.
You have my respect.
You are most welcome.
“We must make our way through life, restless and never finding peace. We move from place to place, unable to rest and be satisfied.” NPD seems more cruel in the Greater brethren. The awareness. Ignorance may truly be bliss…
Don’t be so smug. Sometimes you will be the one who ends up being ghosted because you overplayed your hand and underestimated your opponent. I am glad I am the one who decided to disappear.
I just watched Spectre last night! The first James Bond film I’ve ever seen. Unbelievable, right? I should be ashamed! What is your favorite Bond film HG?
Casino Royale (the recent one although the spoof is rather entertaining).
I’ll check it out. I could totally see you dressed in the white tux Bond wore in the movie I watched. You have one, don’t you, Sir?
MB , I cannot believe it’s the first one you’ve seen. Wow, you been missing out girl! I loved Spectre. But Casino Royale definitely one that sticks with you, tell us what you think when you watched it. It shows some interesting dynamics in play.
Of course if its OK with the Boss…
Tigerchelle
I know, right? First one! I’m sheltered ha ha. Since Bond is a narc, it’s relevant research. I think the Boss will be alright with it.
Consider it like homework. I liked James Bond even before I knew he was a narc. I automatically just know what I am attracted to I guess. It must be a subconscious thingy ma jig. Have you ever watched “House” the series MB? He is very much a narcissist, and how he would be in that sort of situation. I seem to like all those kinda things. Is there any other films that really show the narcissist dynamic HG? If you don’t have time to answer It’s understood. Thank you.
I never have watched House, tigerchelle. I don’t watch much tv and tend to watch non fiction when I do. I ❤️ Investigation Discovery! Lots of Narcs and psychopaths on that channel. Evil Lives Here and Fear Thy Neighbor are my favorites.