How The Narcissist Evades When Questioned
You will have questions for the narcissist. Lots of questions.
They never get answered.
Why?
Why is the narcissist so evasive?
Why do simple questions receive a response as if you have commenced an interrogation?
Why won’t the narcissist give you the answer to a straight forward question?
Why won’t the narcissist answer even when it would be in his best interests to do so?
Why must you get answers from the narcissist?
What happens when you ask a question when painted white?
What happens when you ask a question when painted black?
What happens when you ask a question when you enter Challenge Mode?
What are the ways in which the narcissist evades your questions?
What steps can you take to prevent this problem caused by the narcissists evasiveness?
Sick of the anger, frustration and hurt caused by the evasiveness of the narcissist? Then it is time to get some answers and gain those answers which will actually help you and ensure you move forward, rather than remain stuck.
Avoid the evasion and get THE answers.
17 thoughts on “How The Narcissist Evades When Questioned”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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In the beginning, I gave him all the space he needed because that’s how I wanted to be treated, as well. Complete trust. But then things didn’t start to add up, and my radar went on full alert. Still I remained silent until finally I ran a background check and discovered he had been arrested for solicitation of a prostitute while we were together. I sat and stared at the report, dizzy, nauseated, seeing red, trying to reason through it all. I could not comprehend why a man would ever pay for sex when he had me at the ready, why he would risk his career, etc. I questioned him and he flat out denied it, even when I said I was staring at the report. Then he accused me of violating his right to privacy. I never told a soul. I had to know the truth, for me. Now I know why I had UTI after UTI causing me to spend thousands of dollars on pills and medical exams, enduring humiliating exams. The ease with how he was able to lie and then turn it around like it was all my fault is classic. I am seven months into a silent treatment now and every day that passes I thank God for the time to learn and heal. This site has been a godsend. My advice is, if something feels off, it is. We are all trusting and have been conditioned to trust and look the other way. If you are truly honest with yourself you know what the signs are. Protect your heart and soul before it’s too late. Chances are, if you’re on this site you are already in pretty deep. Just know it’s possible to regain control of your life and get your self respect back. I went through every single stage HG has written about, and made every single mistake possible. It’s so painful but get moving in the opposite direction now so you can be the light you once were. This is the only way you will ever attract the goodness you deserve. You don’t get closure with these people!
I know how you feel, Missy. I’ve been spending time soul searching. It doesn’t feel very good. My empathic nature feels like it’s dying and something else is taking over. I admitt I’m so angry. Knowing there’s no closure. I’m even afraid to feel the freedom of a final discard. Is it real? Will he ever bother me again? And who knows?
I think all of us here deserve way better.
Know how strong you are for making it this far.
I stayed with this demon from hell for another two years after I discovered his police record. All he did was kill my light over and over, and still I stayed. I would beg for his attention…anything he would spare. Like an addict I stooped to new lows, compromising everything for just one more hit. But eventually I realized that I was worth so much more and it took nearly 3 years to get there. I have good days and bad days but you’ll make the turn once the head starts to fully comprehend what happened. Keep educating yourself and stay mindful. I put up huge barriers to everyone and am cautiously starting to feel again. I bet you aren’t losing your empathic nature, you are just learning to put up healthy barriers. The light in empaths can’t be killed by these people. That’s why we attract them. We will always regenerate our own light from within and they are incapable of doing that themselves. Stay strong and keep moving forward even if it’s a baby step. And I’m angry too. But he will never know because I refuse to give him any type of fuel. Mainly I’m just angry at myself for letting this all happen.
HG are we allowed to slap you silly 🙂 HG this is the deal. I refer to you all the time and Sam Vaknin who is married and his wife. The have some how worked out some way of being a couple with the Narcissist in the room. So here is the deal. NO MATTER how much information we get it is after the fact of What happened to us and how to heal. I want people to know what a Narcissist is and how to avoid them. BUT unfortunately this doesn’t happen to much and it is too late. WE got fucked by your kind. So you are doing damage control to hopefully not get hooked into another relationship with a Narcissist is all that is happening. BUT we got damage and your kind got fuel for your addiction. DO YOU FEEL YOU ARE AN ADDICT OF A DRUG CALLED HUMAN-BEING EMOTIONS? Maybe you may go on TedX talks IDEA ?? or start a dating site screen people, to make sure they are not Narcissist. Thank you for your choice to help us the victims. Cheers S. W.
This is one of your *tells*. This is a reason to cut and run. Freedom from the question dodgers and the exhaustion that comes from all the circle talking, subject changes, and blame flipping. Such wasted time. The air is so light when you’re far away and so heavy when you’re near.
Tudor, I haven’t seen my ex narc boyfriend for nine months, he messages randomly every few weeks that he thinks about me all the time, is heartbroken etc etc. I normally ignore him but this time I asked him why he keeps contacting me as I know he has a new primary source, the minute I ask him a direct question he goes completely silent and disappears again until the next time. Is the silent treatment he uses a form of control over me?
Yes it is, it is designed to control and to draw fuel from you.
My ex narc boyfriend hoovers me by txt, it has been nine months since we have seen each other, he says he keeps all our photos, thinks about me and that he is heartbroken. He txts and txts until I ask him what the point of the txts are. Then he never answers and goes completely silent until he randomly pops up again a few weeks later. Is this normal narc behaviour to provoke me in to asking a question and then he just goes silent?
Yes. Change your number so he cannot hoover you through an electronic conduit, you are committing no contact suicide.
It seems a narc chooses to be this way when they are fucking around or regularly paying for sex / bjs and not giving any physical affection to the primary. It is the primary that usually asks questions then eventually the others may also if they aren’t in a golden period.
HG …you don’t mind a woman questioning you when you are seducing them ….you don’t stop in the middle of trying to appear sexy and spit in her face or change the subject , or shout over her.
A woman may ask you lots of questions when you first meet her .
Why else would a question be so threatening ? Unless you had things to hide and don’t want them to slip out …
Bingo! It’s as if Narc’s share the same gene or something. How can complete strangers engage in the same behavior? It’s like an alcoholic ..,,,
Ugh, just awful
Once, in order to extract fuel he used my knowledge about his silly jokes with tones on women and me too. He wanted to see me crying and begging only to say no and feel powerful and entitled. Today i know he is sadistic but he cannot see it, because he does not know that his idea of power is mediocrity at my eyes. If it is ok for him, it is ok for me but he cannot take or keep me anymore, because i feel i am better than him.
On the other hand, I’ve been integrated for hours with a light shining in my face. It was terrifying. And if I talked back it would result in physical form.
I’m so glad I finally got out.
Tam
That’s horrible! I’m glad you got out too!
An odd one, but I feel the old girl slipping away. I kinda miss her, but like everyone I suppose it’s time to grow up, face the sheer facts that I hold my life in my own hands.
I’m glad you’re here, Windstorm.
Thanks, Tammy!
You’re right. You do hold your life in your own hands. Keep working to make it better!
XO!