No Contact No Nos
No Contact is THE key to beating the narcissist.
Most people get it wrong. There are two reasons for this.
1. Not understanding the requirements of a Total No Contact Regime , and
2. The misleading effect of Emotional Thinking.
As part of the first element, the establishment and maintenance of a Total No Contact Regime means not only knowing what you MUST do for your Total No Contact Regime, but also what you MUST NOT do.
No Contact No Nos provides comprehensive information about the fundamental errors and primary risks which exist to your Total No Contact Regime so that you know what they are, how they threaten your regime and what you can do to make sure your Total No Contact Regime is properly implemented and also securely maintained.
This extremely useful and eye-opening guide tackles the weaknesses to your no contact regime in an effective and straightforward manner and is available for just US $ 5.
19 thoughts on “No Contact No Nos”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Needing a little support today. I am having the urge to break no contact. I haven’t but I’m fighting it. Of course one of my friends started talking about him and now it’s started. It’s not her fault she doesn’t know about us.
Ugh when does it end ?
Don’t do it right HG? It is pointless right ? It doesn’t matter how normal he appears to everyone including new ipss he is disordered and it will end up the same way.
HG this will end up the same exact way won’t it ?
Yes.
Straight from fhe Narcissists mouth. Thank you sir
I felt this is good advice in general. Getting smeared is commonplace. Almost normalized.
I particularly like the quote and the 4th paragraph where you talk about NC and give examples. I read it 3 times becuz that’s where I am at. I’m actually stuck in this ‘phase’ of my recovery. How do I get unstuck as I sincerely want to move on and hoping it’s quick.
I was so proud today as I had to take the route past where the G use to work and I didn’t look. I look forward to the day I drive by and don’t think of G when driving by. Because you know I anticipated the drive by, nervous.
Too much everpresense planted during my relationship. That was my G’s main skill and G used it daily. I luv this site, everything about it. If I hadn’t discovered it, I would be going back to G, only to have it end again and then again. Yoyo relationship. The end result always being more vile than the last breakup.
I want to thank God for all the bloggers and HG but I’m agnostic. That’s just one of the results of my ensnarement with G because his best manipulation skill is his pious religiosity used frequently during my devaluation period. So now that I’ve been NC 4 months, but not entirely, totally NC but I take the next step when my ET lessens, I am emotionally clear, and I use logic. This is because, coupled with G’s skill at mindf***ing everyone in his life, especially gullible me and my tenacity, I haven’t entirely come to believe 100% that it’s over. I read about hoovers and it’s not over until one of us dies, etc. and it may be keeping me from moving on.
Strangest relationship I’ve ever been in. He could have killed me. G’s rage, control issues, woman hater, rapist, filthy philanderer, etc. etc. Ect. Read my blogs and I’ll tell you how I really feel! XxOo
Hi Venus, would you mind giving us a little window into the Twilight zone of strangeness that you’ve been inhabiting with Narc boy? It sounds like we’ve had similar experiences.
HG….thank you so much. I needed this reminder.
Justin Bieber’s ‘Friends’ = the Hoover Anthem
Bet ya wonderin’ why I’m callin’ (textin’/creepin’)
Like I got ulterior motives…
None of this applies to me but HG I see how useful that advise can be for others in that situation, on their behalf I thank you
Very true words.
From the brochure of HG Tudor University
“…graduate with honours in ‘meh’…
A new highly advanced course for the ready empathetic individual
Infuriate the hell out of your special Narcissist with a weak trickle of indifference to everything they say, do and think.
Learn proficiency in emotional tasering from a distance with No Contact Masterclass…”
HG, you like?
So essentially, “begone, demon.” And sage the shit out of every aspect of your life, salt the Earth so their weeds can’t pop into existence at your front door. Nifty.
I don’t agree. At all.
Talk to your friends and family, those in your inner trusted circle. Don’t ever be afraid to express. Ever.
Don’t speak to anybody related to him, any doubts say nothing. I’m glad my mum still asks, I’m glad my colleagues know, my social media is extra strong in security. Your words HG are isolating.
There is power in sharing with those you trust 100%, Don’t fear sharing because your clan will protect you and have your back. Choose them wisely. You need support, your clan will get you through this.
Be under no illusion we are stronger, than you think. Keep sharing, don’t stop. Ever presence will disintegrate with the help of those you love.
Hi
This one confuses me but executing it gives the best feeling.This is the confusing part HG if we are here telling our story hoping to connect to others who may help in some way , show support or simply to get the emotions out ,is that the same as talking about the narc.
I see from your side that we shouldn’t be talking about it ever , we should just disengage and read here to understand the whys? The problem as you already are well aware is that us empathetic types find that emotional disentanglment so difficult. We love to talk about the situation , pour out our feelings , what do we do to release the emotional pressure .I exercise very hard that helps but then it comes back .
We don’t have the mindset to erase someone , I’m following all your advice you are brilliant but the emotions are the kicker.
Is it not possible that some people just forget about you and don’t give a damn what you are up to?
Possible albeit unlikely.
But don’t they forget about you at some point? My first one a mid ranger did until running into each other via Facebook more than a a decade later
If they don’t want to forget about you why bother blocking you?
You are in effect deleted when a new IPPS is installed. Once the IPPS enters devaluation, you come back in to play.
“Banish us from your mind, from your words and from the gossip of others in order to avoid weakening your resistance and causing your no contact to fail.”
Yes, I have done so. As much as I can, given my situation. But I think that is why he engages in behaviours that draw the attention of others – even those that could, potentially, restrict his access to me even further. It really is like they *must* know you are not ignoring them…that they exist in our thoughts…or at the very least the ‘thought-fuel’ that they exist in our thoughts.
But why do continue this behaviour knowing it could lead to repercussions? (Because he skirts around the edges of the law, so nothing can really be pinned on him – he is simply making himself out to look like a trouble-maker to others. Pretty poor facade maintenance if you ask me. Unless, the rest of his fuel matrix – whatever there is of it – is in jeopardy…then it makes a little more sense.