The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 10

THE NARCISSISTIC ICICLES - no. 10.jpg

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19 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 10”

  1. HG….a question for you. If the narc does not like being wounded and he thinks there is a chance something would be said to him that would wound….why would he press to hear the explanation?

    The reason I ask is because the other day I felt compelled to tell him that I was frustrated. However I was also hesitant because I had no idea how he would react. So I dangled the fact that I was frustrated in front of him. He asked me what was wrong and then I backpedaled and said “oh nevermind, it will only upset you”.

    Him: “Tell me. Please. But promise me that you will not be RUDE about it.”

    Is he….taking a chance on getting some fuel but is also hesitant of the wounding that comes along with it by saying such a thing?

    I am just trying to figure out why he would press to hear something that might wound yet sort of “beg” to have it delivered in a non-rude manner.

    Does your kind “take a gamble” when it comes to whether or not something will fuel you?

    I hope this make sense. Thank you!

    1. He is asserting superiority through the imposition of conditions, since you have already provided challenge fuel. It is very rare that what you say would wound, it is more likely to be challenge fuel.

      1. Thanks HG. I was pissed off and I didn’t sugar coat my reply. When he asked me how I was feeling I told him I was dissatisfied with our prior sexual encounter and that I felt he was selfish. I’ll spare you the details but I was specific in my explanation. I expected him to slink off or become silent but he gave an apology to me. I’m just gonna assume the apology was fake.

        Yet I’m still hoping I wounded him.

        If he was wounded I wouldn’t get an apology though would I? Even if it wasn’t a real apology?

      2. Since you were pissed off you provided negative fuel when you made the comments. His apology of course was his way of asserting superiority owing to you issuing negative Challenge Fuel.

      3. Okay well I definitely provided negative fuel then. THAT makes sense. But I am confused how an apology from him to me (even if it is a fake apology)….how is that him asserting superiority? That makes no sense to me. I know it is a fake apology. I did not point that out to him though.

      4. He is halting your challenge through the apology, thus asserting his control once again and restoring superiority.

      5. Yeah, tell me about it. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that!!!

      6. MB
        I know. It’s counter-intuitive, isn’t it? But it makes sense when you think about it. He’s manipulating you with his words, thus giving him power by controlling you.

      7. I suppose it’s akin to the old, “this conversation is over. Let’s leave it in the past and start over.”

      8. Hahahahaha!! Yup! Exactly.

        “Now if you calm down we can have a phone call later, how does that sound?”

        True story.

      9. FOTS, future fakers extraordinaire, right?Don’t even waste your breath saying it when you have no intention whatsoever of doing it, asswipe. To future fake a dreamer is cruel.

  2. Oh man. This definitely reminds me of “you are fine with me for months and now the other shoe drops and you start acting like this again!”

    He also LOVES to point out the past to me. But in a “positive” way. If I ever get upset about something he throws past positives in my face as some kind of protest to my feelings. Such dismissive bullshit.

  3. This one cuts deep. He hung up on me once after I’d become emotional about something or other. Next thing I receive a text: ‘Sorry to hang up on you. But you sure know how to turn a conversation sour! Night. ‘

    1. i remembered with this comment, my now ex husbamd said the day we married “ I wont leave you if you dont make me leave you “ .., what an ass.

      1. It’s funny to think about how much power they really give us. You made me do this, you make me do that.

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