The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 12
17 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 12”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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“If you only knew what I have to deal with, you wouldn’t treat me the way you do”.
Seeing these words and applying a ‘round tuit’ and using my perspective – there are people (not many, granted) that have the ability to see ‘pain’ within others. There are some people who may have heard your ‘story’ but not experienced it for themselves, or, are ignorant to your ‘pain’.
There are some people who genuinely understand, care about others and treat them with kindness.
Only a handful of people who know me in ‘real’ life do truly understand me as a ‘wounded’ vulnerable person. Granted, I am not as ‘wounded’ as such, as I used to be, because of this wonderful resource of a ‘therapy encyclopedia’, KTN blog.
I know what loneliness / isolation feels like. Even when in a room with other people.
What am I saying here? Consider those people who do not have what others may have already to ‘hand’, ie, company, access to resources, etc. There are those who are living outside, in the cold with little or no food, just each other (if they are in ‘company’ of others) etc.
There are millions of people who are ‘suffering’. There are others who think they are but in reality, they are not.
Abuse is abuse. A little kindness and a little consideration can go a long way.
HG is also a victim. Sometimes people forget this too. He works hard to provide KTN resources, deserves the respect and the appreciation for doing so. So, a reminder, “If you only knew what I have to deal with, you wouldn’t treat me the way you do”.
No more icicles? I really enjoy this series very much now as in comparison with the first time I read them . They have a different effect on me looking at them under a different perspective now. I enjoy relating to many of them.
Are they still wedged in somewhere else?
If I knew what you had to deal with HG, I’d use the information to make those icy barbs and poke you with them when you were in the shower……oh yes I would.
What fun we’d have………
This is the outgoing message on the victim N’s voicemail.
I know exactly what you are going through, as you project it on to me.
My mother still says this to this day. Whenever I doubt something she says, or criticize her for a behaviour I get to hear it, even when I invite her to play a game with me and my kids I get to hear it, but she adds another icicle on top.:” If you knew what I am going through! I wish you would be as sick as I. Maybe then you could understand me.”
“If only you realized how close you are to my supernova, you would lay off your BS. Game on”
Bettina
Will your Supernova be pay-per-view? I’m in lol.
(Caroline passes mega tub of popcorn to NarcAngel and to long row of seated empaths. Sits herself down)
“Don’t mind me Bettina. Start whenever you’d like.”
This one pisses me off. I always had to listen to him telling how busy he was, how tired he was. He always had some excuse for not answering texts. (I’m convinced he did that on purpose)
It was as if his time was more precious than mine, and his life was oh so heavy. When in reality, he’s really not important, or busy.
He would even pretend that he was very down because a friend (one of the billion “friends”) was going through a tough time. That would be an excuse for him to ignore me for days, and play the part of sensitive, troubled soul. So unattractive.
I don’t know how to say this in English, but it’s like when people talk a lot, while moving their hands and making noise, but don’t really say anything. That’s the feeling I had with that dude. Pretending to be busy, to have a lot on your mind, but in reality there was nothing going on. Super annoying!
Rachel, how many times did a “friend” die and he had to attend the wake, the funeral, and all other activities? So he was distraught and “not very good company”. I got that a lot. I don’t know who these people are so it can’t be verified.
Exactly! Your comment made me laugh out loud, because reading that made me realise once more how ridiculous it all was. Thank you!
That happened a few times indeed. He once heard someone he vaguely knew from the past (whom he called friend) had died, and because of that he needed space. To be mindful. According to him, he was very busy with everything around the funeral. What the actual f#ck???!!!This of course wasn’t true, it was just a way to try to get attention. And this could take weeks. As if someone from his inner circle had passed away. I did not feel sorry for him in those moments, I just felt very irritated and embarrased on behalf of him.
And, now that you said that you don’t know who these people are, I start to wonder if all the people he was talking about really existed. 🙂 I don’t think a narcissist would mind to lie about something like that.
Rachel, somebody died both times I pressed for the culmination of a future fake. No answer, no answer, and then telling me somebody had died and he was attending the wake and funeral and yada yada. Making me feel guilty for being so callous. (Oh the irony!) Then I get all apologetic. I had no idea. I’m sorry I bothered you during this time. Yada yada. Left him alone. Nothing ever said about it again. No way would I say somebody died when they didn’t! I won’t even call in sick in order to have a day off work if I’m not sick.
I’m sure the “dead” subject is some fuel laden empath much tastier than I. Get back on your shelf, quit complaining that I didn’t show as I said I would and let this “funeral” carry on uninterrupted as planned. Oh, and don’t ever bring it up again. What’s past is past and cannot be changed. All we can do is move forward. (More future faking. More funerals.). Ha! Ha!
My MRN is also always busy. Or his daughter is always sick. It is the same dismissive excuses over and over. The other day he replied to a text 2 hours later with “sorry I am just seeing this now”. The fuck you did liar! Your phone is glued to your hand. I sarcastically replied “I know how busy you are” with an eye roll emoji. He responds, “I am not busy, I am at HOME and I cannot text”. His wife apparently controls what he is doing. I am sometimes told not to text as she will occasionally handle his phone and he does not want her asking who I am.
I don’t know your story, but, after reading this comment, and seeing your comments on some older articles, I assume you’re stuck with a married narc. I know it’s easy for an outsider to judge and give advise, but why don’t you run? With all information on this site, please don’t allow someone to treat (use) you like that!
I don’t know if you already had a consultation with mr. Tudor, but if not, maybe that’s a good idea? He seems to know his shit. 😉
I have had a few email consults. And yes, married narc. He owes me money. And I am still addicted to him.
Classic FOTS!