Understanding the Fuel Matrix
*** EXPANDED AND UPDATED INFORMATION ***
All narcissists have fuel matrices and you need to understand where you fit into that fuel matrix and how that particular matrix functions as part of protecting yourself.
This Logic Bulletin takes you through :-
1. The Fuel Matrices of all sub schools of narcissist. This includes updated and expanded information about the Upper Lesser Type A and Upper Lesser Type B Narcissists, plus the Middle Mid Range Type A and Type B Narcissists.
2. What the Fuel Matrices look like, their size, the nature of the matrices and who sits in them.
3. How the relevant narcissist of each sub school relies on the individuals in the Fuel Matrix
4. What the Virtual Fuel Matrix is and how it operates.
5. How a Long Distance Appliance fits into it the narcissist fuel matrix and how that functions.
6. Detailed descriptions of each sub-school of narcissist, their behaviours and actions to increase your understanding of the different types of narcissist. This is a comprehensive expansion which will help you understand a lot more about the way different sub schools of narcissist operate.
A fascinating and educational exploration of the fuel matrix and the interaction between you and the narcissist, this is essential to know how the narcissist behaves so you can ensure your No Contact Regime is as effective as possible. It is also advanced reading for those who feel they are well-acquainted with the narcissistic dynamic from their existing reading and consultations.
This extensive Logic Bulletin is available at just US $ 10 and is a bulletin you will read several times and refer to often and can be obtained here
14 thoughts on “Understanding the Fuel Matrix”
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I think this is one of my most favorite articles. I kept wondering why my MLV Narc would see a coworker and then interact with them later on FB…and here, HG explains: “where we have ensnared individuals who we interact with in a physical proximate fashion, we use technology to maintain our hold and to manipulate.” Control and Facade Management! HG wrote in one of his excellent books: “We are akin to the helpless child as we desperately need your attention (we are not interested in love or being liked, we want your admiration and attention)” SO TRUE!
Thank you once again, HG!
I wanna read TLotLDE too!
I listened to this 12-15 minute video on Youtube and it really resonated with me. The accuracy of detailing my nex without ever having spoken to HG about him in detail caught me completely off guard. We were scenario 5 in the beginning, I don’t know how I let this happen.
Thank you HG, piece by piece I’m realizing I was never special, not to him and the pain I feel inside from knowing this is eating away at my self esteem. I’m trying to fight, look to the light but it’s obscured by this black shadow, he’s still etched on me. I can still smell him randomly, I still see his face, and I still dream about him.
He sensed my loneliness didn’t he, he knew I believed in old traditional values, courting, love, devotion.
I thought I was getting there, out the other side.
I’m not, I’m stuck.
I look forward to reading more about Scenario 5
Presque Vu
This is not directed specifically at you, but at anyone who feels as you have expressed in your post. I have read this expressed many times by others and have just decided to put my thoughts here.
So youre not special to one disordered person in a world of billions. And? Oh that we could all be special to those of our choosing. There are many people who think that they are special to us in some way but we may not be aware, or find them as such and dont give them a second thought. Should they feel as you do? Remember that its not that youre not special, its that he is unable to appreciate how special anyone other than himself is due to the disorder. Its HIS disability that he cannot appreciate the uniqueness and beauty in others due to his disorder-not yours. You should pity him (briefly and from a distance) and not yourself. You are free to engage with others who do, and will, appreciate all that you are. Focus on them instead of trying to force someone who is UNABLE to, to recognize your worth. It would be like you trying to change their eye color by loving them. Remember that he held up a mirror to you. It wasnt him that was special-it was you looking back at yourself. He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole. Its a sickness on his part, but If thats not proof of how special you are, I dont know what is.
“He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole.”
This comment really struck me. My mind flashed back to a few comments that Saint Piano used to say to me. “I feel like our souls are touching”, “I crave you” and “I need to be connected to you”. They were said either before intimacy commenced or during so I figured he was just being “romantic”. When I read your comments above it became very eerie as and I felt chills.
No direct this at me honestly, I need someone to shake me to my senses!
You are right NA, you are!
“Remember that he held up a mirror to you. It wasnt him that was special-it was you looking back at yourself. He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole. Its a sickness on his part, but If thats not proof of how special you are, I dont know what is.”
I never thought about it like that.
You are kick ass and sassy NA! I appreciate your posts and thoughtful responses.
It means a lot when I’m all tangled up, thank you NA.
Dearest NarcAngel,
Wow …. that was reflected so beautifully ….. excellent NarcAngel
Luv Bubbles xx
Thank you so much, NarcAngel. That was put most eloquently and I am saving it so I can re-read it from time to time. So true. I especially loved: “Remember that its not that you’re not special, it’s that he is unable to appreciate how special anyone other than himself is due to the disorder.” As I watched mine FB friend all these other women, my self-esteem took a nosedive. I kept thinking I am no longer special to him and he is interested in these others and they are special to him. No, none of us are special to the Narcs we become entangled with! I DO feel pity for my ex-narc. What you wrote gave me comfort. xx
Presque Vu,
All I am going to say is that relate to this SO VERY much.
I’ve realised it’s ok to get stuck FOTS,
BUT my future and yours – needs to be free from the abuse.
I NEED to move on, I WANT to move on… desperately.
The buck stops with us. How much do you want to be free?
I want it badly, I have 2 boys backing me 100%.
I have an addiction problem – i’ve probably had it since I was 10-16yrs old. I want out and I want you to quit your addiction too.
Scenario Five. This scenario is one which requires a more detailed examination and this will arise in the forthcoming article ‘The Loneliness of the Long Distance Empath.’
I’m still eagerly awaiting this article!
I am also patiently waiting for this brillant article, HG has in store for all of us empaths.
FOTS
Don’t await just get out of this mess you are in. It may take you a few attempts but get out. You are losing valuable years of your life to someone who would likely laugh if you died tomorrow. He doesn’t care and he never will that’s all you need to know