Mainly this is an inner dialogue/reflection that I share here.
This time with more focus on the other part of the equation.
Lately many posts/threads have had this effect on me but particularly this one was like a very gentle and delicate but effective “warning slap “across the face , a gentle nudge into the right direction. This thread lets “see” through slightly but just enough to reveal the harsh but true core (at its highest degree )of co-dependency:
”Serviam ad infinitum ad nauseam……ad absurdum”
In other words: the co-dependent endlessly serving, to a sickening and excessive degree, to a point of total absurdity: to the point of total submission in search for approval , afraid of abandonment and sacrificing her/himself and her/his own needs.
And I wonder , when/if the co-dependent reaches that point of total submission and there is nothing else to be extracted from her/him being then jettisoned by the narcissist:
– What is then left of her/him: a complete emptiness, nothingness, darkness, a void that is akin to the narcissist’s void?
-Is the co-dependent able to look at the opposite direction, shifting instead to
No subservience(Non serviam) , No submission?
-Is she/he doomed to permanently be a co-dependent?
-Can she/he reach the level of awareness that enables her/him not being subservient, not being submissive, to assertively say NO, to establish and maintain firm , steady and strong boundaries?
-Or is he/she also completely blinded by her own perceptions and perspective as the narcissist is ? Remaining eternally in this mutual state of co-dependency with a narcissist and/or with any other (addictive ) destructive personality? Getting detached just to be attached again?
-Is it possible for her/him to finally say ,feel and act on/upon (quoting the well-known motto):
”De oppresso liber”…( To free the oppressed,” or “Free from having been oppressed.”?)
The same way a narcissist uses people on social media, so can they be tormented with it as well.
The narcissist posted photos after the break up on Facebook. I posted photos of my husband and I together, especially if we went out to one of the places she thought was “hers”. Narcissists think everything belongs to them. She shouldn’t have been able to see my social media posts but of course she had a friend spying for her.
On our wedding anniversary, two months plus a day after he ended things with her, I posted my favorite wedding day photo of us. Within a few minutes of me posting the picture, she texted me a naked photo of my husband. She texted it to me two more times that day. I didn’t open any of her texts, I could see that it was an image and called my husband to tell him she was texting me a picture but I wasn’t going to open it. She then texted it to him and said “Why don’t you tell K to post this!”.
I also called the police and talked to a detective about what action if any I could take. I’m not big on involving the police in things I can handle myself, but it was nice to have a possible threat in my arsenal because they would have paid her a visit if I’d filed a complaint. She’s pretty stupid sometimes because she has a high-profile career (as do I, as does my husband), and I could have burned that down many times over with all the shit she’s pulled. I just don’t need a malignant narcissist with nothing to lose plotting my death for the rest of my life.
She thought a naked photo would make me go insane, and was even more enraged when she heard I didn’t open the photo and look at it. She really had no idea who she was up against. My father was a very cruel narcissist so there’s little someone like that can do to me because I’ve seen it all from a young age.
It’s very easy to defeat a narcissist with their own weapons.
This was actually a great comfort to me, HG. I used to get jealous and upset when my MLV would friend hot chicks he didn’t know on Facebook…As you have pointed out, he hones in on caring, animal-loving, and married women. Then thanks to you, I realized he isn’t interested in sex, meeting them in person, or a relationship with these women. THEY ARE FUELLING APPLIANCES! This goes hand in hand with your article “The Virtual Fuel Matrix”. Bravo.
Interesting after I told him when he was devauling and discarderd me that I hate him so much and pray for him to get everything he wants in his life so I would never see him and his fake love again . He deleted his entire account . disengagement for sure .
He even laughed made a screenshot of it before deactivating the account I guess it was very FUELfillment HG ? . But i know he’ll be back he always does .
This is probably going to be the only post I ever make on the topic of social media.
I have a confession to make. I do follow someone on Instagram.
Her name is Celeste Barber. She’s a comedian. Amongst other things. Celeste is doing a stand up show in the US in November (?)… or sometime soon.
If you’re after a good night with a good laugh from a witty lady, do go see her if you can.
You’re in my thoughts MB… hope you and yours are safe and well away from any danger.
As good as tertiary? I was thinking more like quaternary. After all, you can’t see or hear us. You don’t have live chats with us, except those who pay you money to speak to you.
While I would rather provide you no fuel, of course, I realize this is not possible with a narc. It’s not draining me, though. Probably because you make me laugh. So far.
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Mainly this is an inner dialogue/reflection that I share here.
This time with more focus on the other part of the equation.
Lately many posts/threads have had this effect on me but particularly this one was like a very gentle and delicate but effective “warning slap “across the face , a gentle nudge into the right direction. This thread lets “see” through slightly but just enough to reveal the harsh but true core (at its highest degree )of co-dependency:
”Serviam ad infinitum ad nauseam……ad absurdum”
In other words: the co-dependent endlessly serving, to a sickening and excessive degree, to a point of total absurdity: to the point of total submission in search for approval , afraid of abandonment and sacrificing her/himself and her/his own needs.
And I wonder , when/if the co-dependent reaches that point of total submission and there is nothing else to be extracted from her/him being then jettisoned by the narcissist:
– What is then left of her/him: a complete emptiness, nothingness, darkness, a void that is akin to the narcissist’s void?
-Is the co-dependent able to look at the opposite direction, shifting instead to
No subservience(Non serviam) , No submission?
-Is she/he doomed to permanently be a co-dependent?
-Can she/he reach the level of awareness that enables her/him not being subservient, not being submissive, to assertively say NO, to establish and maintain firm , steady and strong boundaries?
-Or is he/she also completely blinded by her own perceptions and perspective as the narcissist is ? Remaining eternally in this mutual state of co-dependency with a narcissist and/or with any other (addictive ) destructive personality? Getting detached just to be attached again?
-Is it possible for her/him to finally say ,feel and act on/upon (quoting the well-known motto):
”De oppresso liber”…( To free the oppressed,” or “Free from having been oppressed.”?)
The same way a narcissist uses people on social media, so can they be tormented with it as well.
The narcissist posted photos after the break up on Facebook. I posted photos of my husband and I together, especially if we went out to one of the places she thought was “hers”. Narcissists think everything belongs to them. She shouldn’t have been able to see my social media posts but of course she had a friend spying for her.
On our wedding anniversary, two months plus a day after he ended things with her, I posted my favorite wedding day photo of us. Within a few minutes of me posting the picture, she texted me a naked photo of my husband. She texted it to me two more times that day. I didn’t open any of her texts, I could see that it was an image and called my husband to tell him she was texting me a picture but I wasn’t going to open it. She then texted it to him and said “Why don’t you tell K to post this!”.
I also called the police and talked to a detective about what action if any I could take. I’m not big on involving the police in things I can handle myself, but it was nice to have a possible threat in my arsenal because they would have paid her a visit if I’d filed a complaint. She’s pretty stupid sometimes because she has a high-profile career (as do I, as does my husband), and I could have burned that down many times over with all the shit she’s pulled. I just don’t need a malignant narcissist with nothing to lose plotting my death for the rest of my life.
She thought a naked photo would make me go insane, and was even more enraged when she heard I didn’t open the photo and look at it. She really had no idea who she was up against. My father was a very cruel narcissist so there’s little someone like that can do to me because I’ve seen it all from a young age.
It’s very easy to defeat a narcissist with their own weapons.
This was actually a great comfort to me, HG. I used to get jealous and upset when my MLV would friend hot chicks he didn’t know on Facebook…As you have pointed out, he hones in on caring, animal-loving, and married women. Then thanks to you, I realized he isn’t interested in sex, meeting them in person, or a relationship with these women. THEY ARE FUELLING APPLIANCES! This goes hand in hand with your article “The Virtual Fuel Matrix”. Bravo.
LOL. This made me spit my coffee out.
Interesting after I told him when he was devauling and discarderd me that I hate him so much and pray for him to get everything he wants in his life so I would never see him and his fake love again . He deleted his entire account . disengagement for sure .
He even laughed made a screenshot of it before deactivating the account I guess it was very FUELfillment HG ? . But i know he’ll be back he always does .
This is probably going to be the only post I ever make on the topic of social media.
I have a confession to make. I do follow someone on Instagram.
Her name is Celeste Barber. She’s a comedian. Amongst other things. Celeste is doing a stand up show in the US in November (?)… or sometime soon.
If you’re after a good night with a good laugh from a witty lady, do go see her if you can.
You’re in my thoughts MB… hope you and yours are safe and well away from any danger.
Thank you Tappi T. Very kind of you to think of me. This is the storm that won’t move! I’ve never seen one like it.
Breaking records apparently, the storm that’s killed 17 people, not HG or his blog.
Do you see us your readers as appliances HG?
Are we all tertiary sources?
Yes you are tertiary sources.
My response to those who resent giving tertiary fuel to HG:
“Too little payment for so great a debt.”
“In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready, may it do him ease.”
~ From Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of The Shrew’
HG approves.
love 💕 it MB
As good as tertiary? I was thinking more like quaternary. After all, you can’t see or hear us. You don’t have live chats with us, except those who pay you money to speak to you.
While I would rather provide you no fuel, of course, I realize this is not possible with a narc. It’s not draining me, though. Probably because you make me laugh. So far.
Read Fuel and you will see why readers are tertiary.
Wow, that’s a powerful blow to the gut!