The Expanded Narcissistic Truths – No. 3
We come cloaked in our finery to dazzle and bewitch yet this enthralling and alluring appearance is but an artifice designed to cater to our needs and keep that which the world ought not to see at bay.
Shall I be the charming boyfriend who brings you breakfast in bed or the grizzled tyrant that bellows from the landing demanding to know why the right shirt is not available even though you ironed seven of them yesterday? Perhaps I will be the cheery neighbour who stops and compliments the fellow next door on his new motor vehicle or do I rake a key down the paintwork smiling to myself as I feel the Thought Fuel at his dismay washing over me? How about being the benevolent boss who is magnanimous in his appraisal of a junior employee or might I be the savage dictator whose fleck infested diatribe reduces the underling to tears? Passionate lover or glacial companion? Entertaining purveyor of anecdotes or bilious issuer of put downs? Such choices.
Yet it is not just a matter of good or bad, there is more to layer on top of that. Do I regale my friends with that story of how I went marlin fishing in Bermuda to impress them even though it was my brother who went and I have taken his tale to be my own? Do I claim the theories of a fellow academic as mine when discussing matters with the undergraduates in my tutorial group? Do I claim to know much about the works of Bach because I have glanced over my girlfriend’s play list of classical music? That snippet of conversation that was overheard discussing the merits of staying at the Cavalieri Hotel in Rome and the ‘views to die for’ becomes my stay there last month. A useful review of Transpotting 2 in the broadsheets is commandeered to become my opinion which receives nods of approval when I recount it over dinner.
Why feel the need to be something that we are not? This varies dependent on the school from which we hail but at its essence remains this indisputable fact; we do not want to be nor can we be, that thing which we spend our time escaping from. Most of our kind do not realise this. They have no comprehension that a construct has been created for the purposes of ensnarement. Ensnarement of victims and the continuing ensnarement of The Creature. They do not know it, believing that their construct IS them and hence should you act in a way that attacks that construct through criticism then the response is intense, volcanic and instant. Those who form the majority of our ranks are unable to make such a distinction, unable to recognise what they have created and what they are imprisoning but believe their own creation to be them. Such is the power of delusion. They have no choice in determining what they will be today. They are governed by the instinctive need to respond as the fuel dictates and thus the rage-filled father who smashes his son’s favourite toy was not chosen but appeared because that was what was required to respond to his son running to his mother and not him. The doting son who faithfully calls his aged mother every Sunday without fail notwithstanding her dismissive treatment of him ordinarily is one compelled to do so in order to maintain his facade of decency and to irritate you when you suggest he ought to put her in her place. The quiet yet charming man who is the complete gentleman on the dates you have together is one which has been constructed out of need and is a programmed behaviour to bring about seduction. Whichever way these of our kind face is as a consequence of need – fuel, the facade, the acquisition of residual benefits – and it matters not if there is a swing from demon to angel in the space of the minute, but that is what must occur.
Furthermore, the repeated regurgitation of lies to furnish the construct for the purposes of attraction is an instinctive response. The lie is believed because the Lesser or Mid-Ranger perceives his construct as what he or she is and thus the knee-jerk boasts, the blatant exaggerations and the out and out lies about achievements, status, job, number of lovers and the number of times one has seen U2 in concert are viewed as truth. Challenge them at your peril. The Lessers and Mid-Ranger have no choice in terms of how they furnish their construct and how they respond to the appliances around them.
The Greater of our kind exert choice but it is always within the confines of the overriding objective, namely, all is as the fuel wills it to be. Thus, the decision to berate a shop assistant is one of choice but is governed by the need for fuel. The decision not to answer your telephone calls is one of choice but again is subjected to the requirements of fuel. We Greaters have more substance than our lower-ranked brethren, we have the achievements, the abilities, the successes but it is never enough. One must be better, more popular, more attractive, more muscular, more accomplished, more, more, more. Thus that which is already there was deemed not to be good enough. So there must be the embellishments, the exaggerations, the add-ons. Pilfer here, acquire there, purloin this and steal that in order to make that cloak the finest ever created. You might suggest we ought to be content with the considerable abilities that we already possess but that is viewed from your perspective. From ours, there is always another higher mountain to conquer and it must be conquered because if we do not stop driving forward then we risk perishing.
I wield tremendous power. I can be anything I want and do whatever I please. Yet, as Lord Acton sagely stated,
“Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
I have absolute power but it has been corrupted because it is always subject to another force, that of the need for fuel.
I appear as the dictator with seemingly unrestrained power and influence as I choose to be whatever I want to be.
Yet I have come to realise that I am the puppet government put in place by fuel.
20 thoughts on “The Expanded Narcissistic Truths – No. 3”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Valkyrie
These articles may help you find your answers.
https://narcsite.com/2018/07/15/why-the-narcissist-makes-it-all-so-difficult-3/
https://narcsite.com/2018/04/05/cheers-the-narcissist-and-alcohol-6/
Dear HG and readers,
Can anyone help me on this: I get an “oops! something went wrong” from youtube when I tried to listen to this article and Narcissistic Truths #4.
Do I need to install something, or did youtube just go cuckoo on me?
Persephone, I think I had to type in the title “Who Shall I Be Today” or just “ the narcissistic truths” (not expanded) to find it. I’m so happy to have them attached to the articles now, and figured they will get fixed next time.
Thanks kel,
I saw the link wasn’t working, so I did go search youtube, and found a playlist of The Expanded Narcissistic Truths”. Contrariwise, like a N, it plays 6-1, instead of 1-6. :0
I just wondered if I was the only one getting a broken link. Narcsite has been formatting in a wonky way, lately. It rights itself if I click on an article title repeatedly. maybe 5 or 6 times, then it displays as usual.
My pc is pieced together and is about 11 years old, and firefox is my browser. An upgrade is possibly needed on my part, but I dislike W10 completely, and I don’t know enough about other operating systems currently to choose one over MS.
Persephone, keep clicking those titles repeatedly. More hits for the blog!
Persephone
https://youtu.be/ib8o1q_9lKI
Maybe that will help
Thank you.
So the bit I am stuck on is.. If you believe yourself (and kind) not to be possessed, this suggests that you do feel/believe yourself to be in control of ‘it’… (the inner rage and so on). Yet simultaneously, you speak of being at the mercy of the quest for supply. If supply is the fix for keeping the beast at bay (for want of a better phrase) then my supposition is that you do not have complete control of the ‘beast’ but it has control of you.
You talk of having to get supply..
Like you have no choice… yet you are always in control? Or no?
Please point me in the direction of what I should read to clear up this bit of my confusion.
Also… Just to supply you willingly..
I read your phrase ‘no act of kindness will go unpunished’ and have heard you as my narc ever since.
I gave the caravan I bought for us to my narc after we split up. She tried to pay something towards it but I sent the money back.
I believed she could just not afford to pay and I loved her kids so much, I did not want them going without.
Anyway… Within a month she had loaned the caravan to the wife and children of her new supply. He (the supply) was a handyman by trade. She spent the money I sent back on materials for a new bathroom which he fitted. He had to finish the job that week and was staying at her house to do so.
She made sure he posted enough information on his social media for me to get it.
The contempt and disregard for my humanity.. and his wife’s.
The act of cruelty was indeed some sick art form.
Anyway… there were times when listening to your YouTube channel was all that could bring me any peace.
Fortunately, I’m not still in that dark place now.
My obsessing however has morphed.. It is far more about needing to understand EVERYTHING than missing my narc.
She is still in my head every day .. Nearly 4 years on.. I have to believe that I will finish peeling back the onion layers at some point and I will be able to stop.
Calling all narcissists: While choosing who to be today, could you give that asshole mask a rest?. It gets quite a workout and is getting pretty thin. It’s tired and old, and I can the 666 from here. On second thought……fuck it, it allows me to see who you really are. I am stronger than you and reinforced by facing the ridiculousness that will allow me to leave and to witness your eventual decline. I’m sorry, what were you saying? I was mesmerised by that huge freckle (squints). My apologies – it’s an age spot.
Do you believe or know that you are possessed by some form of demonic energy?
I mean… not necessarily in a belief system way but a belief in something beyond our understanding of what’s ‘real’ ultimately controlling you?
No.
HG you have said the relationship dynamics between the narcissist and the empath is for life can there be an exception to this rule especially when it comes to an empathetic person going super nova say to protect someone else so they don’t back down at any cost to themselves and the empath out of need cuts off all emotional thinking about the narcissist even in physical contact making manipulation of the empath very difficult????
I understand that you are a very sort after person but if you could please give me some guidance 😍🙏
No exception.
My husband and I have wondered how someone can live maintaining a fake accent. My half sister has never been to England since the eighties and she still kept her Mid-Atlantic accent even though she only lived there for two years. Even my Filipino accent has diminished dramatically from living here in the U.S. for 11 yrs. But her accent remained strong. Now I know it is part of the image that she constructed. To get attention and to stand out and also to sound smart. It’s all for fuel.
what is the creation you talk about constantly in your posts? Is it a demon that controls narcs?
No.
HG you’re wonderful! Thank you for adding YouTube to the bottom of the article as requested! It was a fun surprise. Your voice sounds more like you on this one, or as I would think you would sound like, than it did on The Bleak Mid-Winter. Narcissists borrowing other people’s stories and information is so true. I’m not sure I’ve heard you say before that you’re the puppet to the fuel you need, or the perspective that you can be anything that you- choose- to be, and that you can never be satisfied, because you always have to go further and be more than before. You don’t miss or want the feelings you don’t have, and you find pleasure with what you do have.
I’m glad to see you have finally realised you are the puppet of your fear pain creature and act only on its behalf. The power, control, status, fuel all go to the creature. You are the fake front. Like the bug in MIB wearing the Edgar suit. Lol. : DDD
You added YouTube to the bottom of the article!!
The inclination to destroy, abuse and demean, performed out of a need for fuel. This is the default tendency.
It reads as if there is no free will. An alcoholic is predispositioned to alcoholism through genetics. His journey may be more difficult than someone who was not born with that genetic transfer or watched alcoholic parents model behavior.
However, there is still a choice. Denying the urge is more difficult for the alcoholic than the average person, but not impossible.
Once you find out how destructive, unhealthy and hurtful behaviors are, do you not want to overcome them? Do you not see a better way? Do you believe you have no choice? Your actions are not your own?