The Igniters of Fury – No. 14




  1. My mother scheduled her surgery on my -0th birthday. She didn’t notice nor did she ask if another date would have been available. I think this is kind of weird.

  2. HG, the fact that my Matrinarc nursed my grandfather (narc) till he died, would that be all for facade or could there be true feelings of caring for him? She adored (and in a way feared) her father.
    When he died, the livingroom was full of relatives. Mother came out of the bedroom, where grandpa was, last of all and ‘fainted’ (she fell / manoeuvred herself on the floor)
    My father told her ‘to get a grip’. I couldn’t believe how heartless that reaction was. Later I thought she was perhaps acting and making it about her. Still, I believe she cared for her father (or perhaps still looked for his love or approval).
    Do narcissist children look for approval from their narcissist parents? Perhaps without realising?

    1. 1. Façade, 2SF.
      2. Her ‘fainting’ was all about drawing attention back onto her and gaining fuel.
      3. Your father’s reaction was based on him seeing through the façade.
      4. The child seeks the narc adult’s approval like any child and the withholding of that approval is part of the formation of the narcissism in the child, if they become a narcissist.

  3. Wow I remember when my mom had breast cancer and I remember telling my narc I was gonna go and stay with her for about 2 weeks and I can tell she was in a sullen type of mood thereafter….I wonder why not anymore it ignited her fury.

    1. Hi christopher…so sorry your mum had breast cancer. It is really all about them when dealing with narcissists! Its how it affects their world and anything outside that scope they could care less about.
      Ive seen many been given ultimatums in this type of scenerio and then deep regrets later bc they catered to the narcs wishes.
      Good for you for going and supporting her!!

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