Poll : What Are You?

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Let’s talk about you dear readers.

What are you?

What school of empath do you believe you belong to? Standard, Super, Contagion or Codependent?

Perhaps you are unsure? Maybe you feel you are empathic but you do not quite reach the status of empath? Maybe you feel you are a normal, with a selection of low empathic and low narcissistic traits?

What Cadre of empath are you (if you are an empath)? Saviour, Doormat, Magnet, Carrier or Geyser?

Perhaps you do not know or you feel you are on the cusp of two (maybe more) of these categories. You can have elements of different schools and cadres, but usually one will prevail with regard to the school and cadre.

Finally, are you a Dirty Empath (Of the Infidelity Variety) and/or a Dirty Empath who is a Marriage or Relationship Breaker?

You may choose all that are applicable to you. Thus is you identify as a Magnet Standard Empath who is a DE (IV) and and a DE (MB) you can choose all four.

If you want to know for sure, you can of course consult with me. Also see the various articles on the blog appertaining to the schools and cadres (to save you searching Contagion has not been published yet).

As always, do expand in the comment section with your thoughts and observations.

What are you?

View Results

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  1. “I am Batman.”

    Or, in your nomenclature, HG, I am a Magnet Super Empath w/very strong Saviour tendencies. However, I have enough narcissistic traits to be able to haul out a “travel size” Devil’s Toolbox to right wrongs and do not suffer the delusion that a narcissist/Cluster-B, once definitively identified, can be saved or cured.

    My Supernovae are brutal and frequent, causing all but UENs to run for cover. And this was BEFORE I both found your work and received treatment from a psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. Unfortunately, upper mids & lower uppers can’t get enough of me. This has been greatly reduced by changing the company I keep & the industry I work in and by moving from a megatropolis to the country.

    Prior to reading your books and going through therapy, I was racked with guilt over revenge campaigns I’d undertaken toward narcissists in my life, especially the many successful ones, but I’ve become a guilt-free caped crusader of sorts bent on removing fuel and shattering constructs whenever necessary.

    So far, the gods of love and justice (and a strong helping of karma) have been with me. I believe I owe my successes to a strong moral code: I NEVER lie, fabricate evidence, or break the law. Being of the Magnet cadre makes smear campaigns far less believable and my Truth that much more plausible. For this I am grateful.

    My skin is thick, my heart is bruised, but my eyes are evermore open.

    Thank you.

  2. My mother i suspect to be a lesser to middle midranger. Im certain shes pretty much unaware of what shes doing altho she has used my brother(golden child) as a flying monkey to do her dirty work and smear me and my hubby. She uses him as her eyes and ears into my dads side of the family who she could never get over not being a part of. She sulks and dishes out silent treatments. She also gives cold fury and ive seen her do this to my stepdad. Hes completely terrified of her cold fury. He came from a marriage of abuse and that in itself validates the fact my mother is a narc bc victims will quite often pick the same abuser again. They gravitate towards what they know. My stepdads mother was a matrinarc and very controlling.
    My narc im in confusion over. I really do think its a spectrum. Having a son on the autism spectrum i realise how varying a disorder can be and personality factors into this as well. There isnt a cookie cutter anything for any one narc. I think he lies somewhere between an upper midrange and lower greater. I feel he shouldnt be in midrange bc he never feels sorry for himself and actually gets upset at pity. He wont admit it openly but gets quiet and weird if you show him pity like hes angry at it. As far as his awareness and pride in his npd id say he is a greater. Hes fully aware of his manipulations. He sets out knowing how to lure and capture prey. Hes even used the word “bait” before in this context. Hes aware and uses his npd. Where i dont see greater is hes not a super high achiever but gravitates towards those that are. He would be a follower or in a group of friends of such a person. He respects and wants to be like a high achiever greater who lies, cheats and gets away with manipulating people.

  3. Oh dear. I think I must be a Standard Geyser empath. 😂😂😂😭😭😭😏
    I feel like some sort of protector empath. I leap protectively in front of the narcissist and tell the angry masses to back off. Not a saviour empath per se, as I understand all too well that there can be no change. I do see the good in them, but it’s a different form of good. Yes, I know narcissists can be a menace, but most people don’t understand what they’ve been through. I understand what they’ve been through. I was raised by MatriNarc as well. Why I didn’t freeze into a narcissist I don’t know. My little brother did. I remember being locked in a dark closet for hours on end, crying bitter angry tears and telling myself over and over, “I won’t be like her! I won’t be like her! I won’t be like her!”
    But what if the narcissist is just a younger intelligence in the universe? A young soul. Can you imagine asking an unruly toddler if they could please exhibit the wisdom and control of a 75 yr old? Then angrily telling them that life could be so much easier if they just would?!! Also, it might be harder for a younger soul to handle abuse and stress. And a younger soul might naturally be more self centric. So why then would we disparage someone for being at a different progression point? And especially one who has been affected by circumstances that were beyond their control? I know you have said HG, that you believe that narcissists are further along in human development having done away with certain hindering emotions. Either scenario is interesting to me.
    My life’s work will be to understand and help narcissists. Not change them, but assist them with their needs.

      1. I’ve been thinking long and hard about these words Sir. I take Your advise very seriously. I know if I were stood before you yammering, “but… but… but…” it would take just one glance from You to shut me up haha. But since we are here in this virtual glass castle, I wonder if I might press forward a little?
        I will be perusing my Masters degree in psychology with a focus on NPD (which needs to be renamed in my opinion, it’s not accurate and it’s insulting). Whatever I end up doing though, at least it will be with a real understanding of what’s happening with the narcissistic perspective. There will be many going into this field and there will need to be some who understand what’s really going on. Personal experience will go a long way also I feel. I will be in contact with Your kind. It’s probably going to be inevitable.
        Having said that, I do understand that I should stay out of any personal involvements with them. (Unless asked to serve a term in House Tudor of course!). But after Your advise I am thinking about abandoning the last and most dangerous portion of the “hands on” research I’ve been doing… to interact with what I believe to be a Greater Elite (who has been circling around) for the purpose of testing some theories. My original plan was just a quick reconnaissance mission, in and out in 6 months… no falling in love. Ha ha yeah, I know. My friends and sisters have deemed the plan foolish and a terrible idea. It’s so tempting though!

        1. Jules, Please stay away from him! I have been involved with two greaters, one was an elite. They are by far the most dangerous! They will take your heart and break it in a million pieces! Even with you knowing what he is and telling yourself you can handle it, you will not be able to. The pain you fill is unbearable at times. They know what you are going to say and do before you do it! If this is something you want to do, be prepared! You see they always are. Save your studies for the office. With the greater elite you won’t even be safe there! Good luck with what ever your decision might be.

      2. I agree with HG. I have had some narcissist s come through my private practice. I choose not to treat them because to them there is nothing to fix. If they really want to continue in sessions it it for show or very superficial reasons.

      3. Dear HG, I cannot help but noticing that the perpetual emotive dynamic between the narcissist and the empath is not dissimilar to the multifaceted dynamic between the Dominant and the submissive in bdsm scenarios. In bdsm, both parties seek, understand and abide by rules, which are mutually understood and, respected.

        If so, is there any possibility of a balanced and mutually satisfying relationship between the Greater narcissist and empath, provided the rules of the game are well defined and agreed upon by both parties?

          1. Thank you for your response HG.On reflection; it seems like I am dealing with a completely different “animal” to those I have encountered in the bdsm scene over the years. A person with such a void should never dominate anyone because it supersedes sadism and breaks the bdsm rules of consent and responsibility for one’s own actions…
            Separately, I have watched just about all your videos and I am still learning. It feels as if the best I can do is to stop analysing and bluntly go to a finite ‘no contact’. I don’t think I will find any answers from him and, even if some were provided, I wouldn’t trust their veracity.
            I shall just say ‘c’est la vie’ and work on myself so that next time, I choose more carefully. The man I have been seeing for the last nine months is of a lesser social status to mine and yet, I enthusiastically fallen for his games. Kudos to him, I guess… I know that I need to stay focused and logical in my analysis, swallow my slightly shattered pride and count those nine months as an experience to learn from.
            Although, I must admit, I do find the topics of such pathology fascinating to ponder. Perhaps I should focus on my own shortcomings so that this doesn’t ever happen to me again.
            Your insight has been invaluable, yet a little chilling. Thank you

    1. Jules, I see your point and I really do get it. I think there is some validity to your point, however I also think you’re wrong. I also believe HG is wrong about being more evolved. Hear me out please. The narcissist… there is good in them. They are very injured. They are like toddlers, less evolved. It is harder and requires more strength to control those dark urges. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Using restraint is hard. Putting something else’s needs above your own. Figuring out that self is less important than a cause, a belief. Knowing you have the power to harm or help and choosing to help. That is real power. You are choosing to help, I get it. We love big, but they cannot be loved out of this. It’s a fatal flaw, narcissism. They’re addicted to power. We all have this power, they choose to abuse it. I can be narcissistic and demand the world pay for my pain. It doesn’t fill the hole, it doesn’t negate the abuse. It only masks it. Pain begets pain. If you aid them, enable them, then you retard their growth. Like a drug addict, they have to hit bottom and see for themselves the only way out is to choose a different path. I know, i know the creature. I believe all people have a creature, a breaking point where pain, fear, shame, helplessness and hopelessness reside. Some people seem to have excellent control or perhaps have never been pushed to their breaking point. I have. I battle my creature every single day. The difference is I’d rather die than let it win. By protecting the narcissist, you only further their decay. I know, I sacrificed most of my life protecting narcissists. I’m a fighter. It only made them worse, more addicted, more vengeful. Instead of using me as a shield to gain strength, as I intended, they all, every single one, began to blame me for their pain, their weakness, their inability to face themselves. I am not responsible for my mother’s sexual abuse as a child, but she is mine. She happily sold me out for favoritism and acceptance. You can’t win this war. Stop fighting for them please.

      1. Hey IdaNoe! Thank you so much for your kind and insightful reply. I love how you pointed out that we all have this “power” (to abuse, to steal, to manipulate, even to murder) but some choose to abuse it and some don’t. So true! It’s about discipline. For those like you and me at least.
        I was wondering about a few points you made.. Like when you said “if you aid them, enable them you retard their growth” or “they have to hit bottom and see for themselves that the only way out is to choose a different path” or “by protecting the narcissist you only further their decay” These all sound like change is expected or possible. Or even that further decay is possible. It seems to me that if narcissism is an unchanging fatal flaw then we can’t help them to any point of understanding or change.
        I also found it very interesting when you said that whenever you tried to give some shelter and help to a N that they all just became worse (more fearsome, vengeful, etc.) I can totally see that being the case. Wouldn’t that just be because they were well fueled? So what then? (and I ask this in earnest) Are we to ostracize and “starve” all the Narcissists around us so that they become less efficient at what they do? Or could we at least provide some positive coaching (fuel) and help with their laudable endeavors, like finishing education, keeping jobs and the like?

        1. Hello Jules!
          I do believe narcissists change as they go through life, as we all do.  They learn, become more efficient  or deranged depending on your point of view. I think back throughout my life at how my mother’s manipulations evolved over my lifetime.  So yes they can change. As for further decay, go to a nursing home.  Somatic or cerebral,  times catches everyone.  They’re debilitated, desperate and dangerous. This is their fatal flaw nearing the bottom. Rock bottom would be completely incapacitated and unable to gather fuel. There, they have to finally face themselves and their creature. I do think, in theory, it is possible for them to change before this stage, however I completely agree with HG, they will see no point. In my opinion the only hope is that in their end times, being forced to face themselves, they can carry that knowledge to the next existence and be more accepting of themselves and their weaknesses.

          With the narcissists I was closest to, all had similar issues. No true self acceptance, paranoia, anxiety  and a huge issue with their mothers. The mother thing seems to be at the heart of narcissism, so it’s hidden, but as you know them it becomes apparent. When they were offered kindness, it was seen as weakness.  Acceptance was viewed as an open door to take. Coaching in good behavior was used to gather information on my morals and then warped and twisted as they tried to break me. Forgiveness was seen as permission to do whatever again. Give them an inch, they take a yard. So, yes, I believe they must be starved.  It’s hard to do. It requires us empaths to have excellent control of ourselves and our emotions.  Basically we are punished and unable to live free because of them. Perhaps we could ship them all to an island and let them eat each other! For me, that’s part of what I’ve gotten out of this, that we’re food. They don’t love us. They dont respect us. They never will. We are not a safe place for them. They’re running from themselves.  They want two things from us, our life force and to punish us for being an independent entity.  They don’t feel or know their own life force,  so they envy ours and try to consume it. They pretend to be strong, however they are completely dependent on us. Because they can’t generate their own fuel, they will never be independent of us, ever, because they won’t face themselves and accept their own weaknesses.  It’s like a never ending circle. And it’s a cycle we’re locked into them with. Want to hear the ultimate contradiction? I think they are the ones who need saving. And to save them, we must go completely against our empathic natures and starve them to death.

          1. Wow, thank you for his reply! So sorry I lost track of this thread. I wish we could continue this convo but it will be too long in the replies. Awesome stuff. Thanks again.

  4. I feel far less empathic after dealing with my N for years. Maybe things he said to me made me think I am far less empathic than I thought I was originally. I often had the thought that he was immature, but then I would give it to stop the hurt on me. Not to stop his “hurt”.

    Even after reading HG’s many articles, I still have no idea what cadre, if any, of empath I am.

    But I do know I am a dirty empath. I had an affair. To prove him wrong about no one else would ever want me. To rebuild some self confidence. To rub his nose in it, without saying a word.

    The problem with that was, he never noticed. Then I knew he wasn’t omniscient or omnipotent. He may be holding me prisoner, but I did so much poking of the bear, he would at least leave the house and leave me alone, for hours.

    But he repaid my treachery of refusing to believe he was my god, by depriving me of any and all of monetary value and future as he could before he died.

    But I’m still here, and happier with him gone. : )

  5. Hmm, it is really hard to figure out. I seem to mirror and match people and protect people (truth and justice). I fight back if I realize that the person is hurting me or someone else. I sometimes completely cut people out of my life without explanation if I know they will not change. There is also certain people that I would run back to, even if I knew I shouldn’t have. I notice I have to ask people quite often what to do with certain situations, like I can’t figure things out on my own.  I’m not sure co dependent or super. If you think you have insight feel free to answer. ( see I told you😂)

      1. Nice legs HG … ok so word press got me lost … you new supermaiden on Instagram is he magnet empathy and super empath ? I thought you avoided super empath ?

        1. OMJ
          HG has stated previously that his preference is Magnet Super Empath and that is what Shieldmaiden is.

          1. NA .. I guess I missed that part, I guessed what she was – I have a good instinct – I like to believe.
            More to come … looking forward to it.

  6. SMH … Sound like me … :)) HG … Is she magnet empath too ?? You said you try to avoid superempath usually, are you making an exception ?

  7. Dear MB … I am with you on how I admire and I get touched by his mastery of Words and how he makes them dance with one an other in a perfect harmony.
    By chance check if you have your Venus in Gemini… that could explain why that is an aspect very important to you ! Cheers !

  8. I realised that when thinking about the different criteria that fit or don’t fit in conjunction with this poll, that I had to fight my ego and my vanity and pride at many points. I am aware of the fact that self-concept and metaperception of oneself, combined with either pride and vanity or feelings of inadequacy or deep-seated shame about oneself, can serve as a strong filter that hampers an accurate assessment – and that may well go in both directions.

    Carrier is the cadre I associate myself with the most, even though I don’t tick all of the boxes. My assessment is based on real-life interaction, off the screen. I don’t perceive myself as overly emotional or ‘histrionic’ enough to be a Geyser, and while there may be tinges of Saviour, I don’t feel that this is the cadre I belong to. I like to help and support, but at a certain point, the feeling that the other person should be allowed to learn on their own and that I am overstepping boundaries in being the Florence Nightingale kicks in. Besides, my boundaries and need for time and space on my own don’t allow for overly exhausting myself in other people’s problems. In real life, I am perceived by others as a solid rock who remains calm in turbulent situations, who has a soothing effect on others and someone who can carry a lot. I got this feedback repeatedly, and that applies to both my workplace and how I interact with people close to me in my private life. A work-like, more problem-solution-oriented approach resonates with me. In my interaction with the Elite MR, I adopted a (seemingly) unaffected stance which seems to fit the more ‘stoic approach’ while churning on the inside as outlined in the Carrier article.

    I often get asked for help in the streets by strangers and especially children but apply this to my ‚harmless‘ appearance and that I seem to be trustworthy enough to be approached in person rather than to a magnetic aura. It is not my style to gush with praise and admiration, regardless of who I interact with. I love to compliment someone on their abilities and achievements but only when I feel it is ‘earned’ by trust and consistency of words and actions. In narcissistic interactions, this stance may make my fuel not as delicious as that of others in potency and quantity – that at least explains some nuances of the dynamic with the Elite MR I was involved with. He repeatedly told me that there was a stark contrast in how I reacted to him as opposed to other women. My attitude is a personal matter of preference and how I expect to be treated in return.

    Also, there is a dirty streak – I don’t like this label for several reasons, but that is where I belong as well. I committed infidelity in my long-term relationship.

    I am not sure whether ‚just empathic’ or empath or normal and also not quite sure about the number and strength of narcissistic traits. But far as school is concerned – if empath applies to me, then I would tend to standard with codependent traits. This assumption is based on many different factors (likelihood, ‘statistics’, altered perception of the schools when viewed through the lense of the narcissist’s needs and wants etc.).

  9. HG, could a SE use their narcissistic traits in an empathetic way? For example, the SE asserts control over someone in order to defend someone else against mistreatment. Would this be a SE narcissistic traits?

    1. They could. For example the narcissistic trait of pride might be used to ensure someone’s children are well brought up but not done in a rigid and controlling manner.
      Defending someone being mistreated is the exercise of the empathic traits of justice and compassion.

      1. Thank you HG. So because the act of asserting control is done out of compassion toward the one being mistreated and not necessarily to gain control over the one mistreating, in this instance asserting control or superiority would be a empath trait not a narcissist trait? Because of intention?

  10. HG, where is all this information about your new ipps? All these details about what your watching on TV and she’s intelligent , your name for her on here etc? Is this all on your instagram ? Or a post on here ?

      1. Im enjoying HGs instagram except that last snowy driving vid lol i get enough of that 😄 hope you and your sheildmaiden go somewhere warm brrrr

        1. Chi, I believe he commented a few weeks ago they have a trip planned for somewhere warm in February.

          1. Well HG, better later then never. I know you have your posts picked to come out ahead of time. Would you be able to tell me if the one on future fakery will be posted anytime soon? As always Thank you for your time HG. I realize I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately but my ex will be coming into the picture again in a week ( not by my choice. Work related.) I want no I need because of certain situations in my life at this time, to be armed and prepared! You and the ladies are all I have to keep my emotions at bay! Thank you again!

        2. Yes, take SM to the caribbean please! If we have to live vicariously, can’t we do so in some nice warm climate ;)

  11. I haven’t done this poll because i haven’t got a clue what i am, i do know i’m definitely not normal !!
    I would never cheat on someone or get involved with anyone that wasn’t single and definitely not a married man, apart from that i have no idea, i’m trying to work it out myself i just know i’m a complete mess ha ha, that’s trying to sort myself out.

    1. Dear dear Lisa,
      Welcome to the best education you’re ever gonna get
      First n foremost ….. YOU ARE AMAZING and VERY SPECIAL
      Never lose sight of that beautiful one
      You have been captivated by a narcissist who wanted all your
      Mr Tudor are all the lovelies here will help you precious
      Hang on Lisa, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride, but in the end you’ll feel soooooo much better and the rewards are “greater” 🤣 so here begins the beginne
      Baby steps precious ……it can be confusing as there’s lots to absorb
      Hugs to my lovely and wishing you the best
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      Sorry for the delay Lisa….. trying to keep up

      Yoohoo ….K ….. where are you gorgeous ..and lovelies …. help is needed here …it’s urgent

      1. Dear Lisa,
        You’re most welcome precious
        Keep commenting and asking questions …. . help is on the way
        Mr Tudor is really nice now … he’s overflowing with fuel …so get in quick 🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. I’m not nice. I am the same as always – polite, professional and accurate. A few more witticisms I grant you, but the normal high standard of interaction remains the same.

        2. Thanks Bubbles
          I have to say i’ve noticed no difference in HG, I didn’t even know he had a new girlfriend.
          He always just seems the same to me.

          1. Lisa
            I think empaths are projecting a bit. Maybe because we know it as the golden period and we are relating it to our own experiences. We have never witnessed him in this period or heard him speak about his IPPS using the terms as he has used to describe Shieldmaiden recently. Someone even said his girlfriend seems classy and it struck me because what do we even have to base that on? Emotion seems high, with Hope leading.

          2. She is classy. Master’s degree, holds a board level position of an international company, is trilingual, dresses elegantly, well-read. I could go on but I am not telling you everything at once.

          3. HG
            I didn’t say she wasn’t. I said we had nothing previous to base that on. It was not a criticism but an observation using logic and not emotion.

            Also, that is your assessment/perception of classy. I saw what you listed as character traits and residual benefits.

          4. I know you did not say she was not, you just stated you had not seen evidence, so I provided you with some. The Shieldmaiden exhibits considerable class in a number of ways and I mentioned some of those elements – it is evident in her manner with people, what she says and does but I do not have the time to evidence in detail, for now, accept my confirmation and as I provide more information over time you will see how this statement is supported by the facts.

          5. HG
            I hadn’t wondered, but thank you for that glimpse and I look forward to things as they unfold.

            My point however really had nothing to do with SM (or you for that matter). It was about empaths being empaths and immediately responding with emotion (namely hope), because previous to your offering, there was nothing to base the fact that she was classy on (other than she must be because she is with you). That we (some) are still instictively slapping on the rose coloured glasses instead of waiting and observing.

            Even though it’s always about you, it’s not always about you.
            (Insert animated dancing raspberry here).

          6. NA, in fairness to the person(s) that made the comment of SM being classy, I believe they were discussing the few détails you could see about her in IG (nails and clothes, I believe). I think that was the base of their comments.

          7. Lou
            I understand your point. I guess it’s the interpretation of classy then (or any other description that we used but didn’t know at that time). If being dressed and wearing nail polish is classy, then I (and almost everyone else here) is classy AF. It sounded to me like they (and not only that person – that was just an example and I don’t even remember who it was and it wasn’t personal) as empaths were already projecting their thoughts. Logic says all we saw was a table for two with food and drink on it, hands, a snippet of clothing. Emotion fills in things we don’t see like class, beauty, etc. I guess I was pointing out that empaths are still quick to use emotion to romanticize things given very little detail, and that means they might still be highly susceptible in their own life.

          8. NA, I understand what you are saying! I noticed also how there may only be a picture as if taken from a travel guide, but many assume that is where they are at. If that is true then that person or persons are letting there emotions run thoughts. Not logic. Is that correct in what you are saying? I have learned my emotions still run my thoughts but if I take what I have been taught and put it to go use, I then see a whole different logical side. I still have far to go, but I believe I’ve finally had a breakthrough because HG and people like you.🦜🦜

          9. NA, I totally agree with your observations. I wouldn’t have arrived at the conclusion of her being classy by the details revealed in HG’s IG photos either (nothing against Shieldmaiden; HG, it is just that I surely do not have enough information to form an opinion of her in that respect). However, I was not sure if you had seen the photos and if you had forgotten people mentioning her clothes and nails. That is all.

      2. Dear Lisa,
        Sorry lovely…. there’s soo many newbies … I confuse easy trying to go back n forth … haha
        Still, it’s a great way to connect…. yes
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      3. Dear Mr Tudor,
        Did you not see my smiley face ….. I was being funny
        I did not make any derogatory remarks otherwise
        You’re being too sensitive and should control your emotional thinking
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      4. First of all, welcome, Lisa! Second, I didn’t see love at all in HG’s description of his lady, just a lot of residual benefits. When you’re in love, you can’t define what you like about the other person, it’s a “ne sais qoui,” not a bunch of objective assets. No offense, but she sounds perfect… for a job application. I’m very happy for you though, HG. And like all of us, remain hopeful.

        1. My response was with regard to NA wondering whether she is classy. It was not an exhaustive list of why I am in a relationship with The Shieldmaiden. As I wrote, I am not telling you everything at once. Thank you for you kind wishes nonetheless.

          1. You’re welcome. I’m glad to hear there’s more, HG. I didn’t ask much because it’s not of my business but of course, we learn from your interactions with women so…

          2. You may always ask SP. If I have time I will answer where I decide I wish to. Most of the time I will provide information where people ask or it will appear in articles in due course.

      5. Hi HG…the sheildmaiden sounds amazing! I find it surprising she would be that intelligent yet know nothing about npd? Especially being in her type of career situation. It is possible tho. I think unless it impacts you on a very personal level you dont go looking to find out. She will if she hasnt already. I do wonder if the newly discarded kim has gone researching the signs of npd as she picks up the pieces of her life as she knew it? Perhaps she was researching while in the relationship.

        1. CM, believe me I have had many intelligent partners who knew nothing about NPD and in certain instances I know they still do not. Furthermore, I have consulted with many intelligent people who had been in the dark for a long time indeed about NPD (some know about it but still struggle to deal with because of the interference of ET).

          You are correct that most people only know about it once it has had an impact on you. Much like listening to Justin Bieber.

          1. Ha ha ha! And regret it once they had the experience too, “much like listening to Justin Bieber.”

          2. “I have had many intelligent partners who knew nothing about NPD and in certain instances I know they still do not. Furthermore, I have consulted with many intelligent people who had been in the dark for a long time indeed about NPD.”

            I feel like sometimes there should be a little footnote somewhere on your landing page – or maybe just put it big, bold, black letters:

            ‘Book learnin’ and having official letters following your name will not save you from a narc.’

            Oh, and re: Bieber…sorry about that.

      6. Oh, that’s interesting SP, my fear of heights is definitely more extreme than other people’s. I’ve had people doubt me on that
        : P I’ve read some information on hypnotic suggestibility and how it may relate.
        I think my synesthesia is basic in the sense that most people have some version, I just think the sensations are more extreme, automatic and consistent than average for me. So someone telling a story about something that happened to them if they feel it themselves I get involuntary physical sensations from the story and increased flinching and touching body parts, etc…. If the person is not emotionally attached to what they are saying I tend not to. I also get that energy feeling where others in the room are having a feeling and it starts to fill my body. I think most people with empathy have that. Like I say it’s just more intense than average for me according to what I see. Your visual perceptions must be an interesting and intense way of seeing things. I think that’s fascinating. I have some bipolar tendencies and it is exaggerated with traveling east and hypomania tends to increase my sensory perceptions I notice and there is much heightened awareness toward random things, it can get chaotic. I think some of my spirituality is related to that, but I would argue that heightened sensory input could be tied to heightened perception of reality. I do sometimes notice alterations in focus and volume around certain things. My thinking about the conscious filter of information is that we self-protect by blocking out things we are perceiving automatically in an attempt to “normalize” them, but if we stop and pay more attention in real time we may filter out less- so for example a physical sensation can be dismissed as tied to an incorrect cause and downplayed, when it could be more of a synesthesia and learning to pay attention can increase awareness of our environment and influences. I especially say because I spent a lot of time ignoring cues and dismissing intuitive information. It is a challenge for me to pay attention consistently and sort.

        I think that being able to sense feelings of others with greater intensity is empathy that does actually affect day to day interactions. So when I am communicating with someone, if I physically feel their discomfort rather than just observe it, it causes minor changes in my intention and expression in that interaction. Like in HG’s article “Bitter” he is observing and absorbing her reactions. I would more likely feel them and then make conversational adjustments to the energy to smooth it or level or comfort it (within boundaries and reason). Interestingly I am starting to focus on that tendency in others as a requirement for investing time and energy into an interaction or a relationship. Some people who have others drawn to them are maybe doing that type of thing? I feel it can get hijacked.

        There are remote sensing testing activities online you can try if you are interested. I like things like that and I’ve seen some others on here recently suggest some testing things online that I want to look at, I’ve not seen before. I like that sort of thing, personality insights and whatnot.

        1. NB, I found your reply, sometimes this venue drives me crazy too. You have mirror synesthesia! I have always wanted to meet someone like you, that type of synesthesia sounds extremely intense to me. There was actually an exhibition about this in London last year, I happened to be visiting and a friend of mine suggested that we had to go, it was really interesting and it explained your type very well.

          Like you, I feel I restrain myself from listening to my sensory clues. Thinking in retrospect, I know my senses were telling me I was interacting with someone different from all the other people I’ve been with when I got entangled with the narc. I could not feel anything coming from him even when he was telling me he loved me or kissed me. But you said it very well, we try to silence our emotions because sometimes it’s simply overwhelming. I usually enjoy being with people, but there are times I feel the urge to run away, because it feels like time speeds up and I feel too much excitement around. I always attributed that to anxiety, but reading you I know it is part of this intense perception. Last week I had a new thing, I had a lightning bolt caused by touch, the tactile sensation was not as painful as the blinding shock. Until then, all of my visual experiences have been related to sound only. But I have read about some synesthetes that combine different senses, who knows. I need to investigate more about this.

      7. OH! SP, I have a few things, but-
        I got a lightning bolt by touch about two months ago. Had never happened before. “Lighting” was the label I had placed on it afterward, but so funny you say about mixing senses, because I had zero visual from it. It was only physical like a zap through my body. I haven’t been able to expand my thoughts on it. I lost the ability to focus or process anything for awhile afterward and I was convinced the other person did it on purpose (the zapping part). I try to shift my energy if I touch that person.

        1. NB, I got it while at the doctor. She accidentally pinched me and I overreacted and pushed her away screaming Nooo!! she got shocked and I had to apologize and explain to her that I just got a lightning bolt because I have synesthesia. She found it really interesting but I think she was scared to get any closer after that haha. Poor thing.

          1. Sweet P
            If you’re that touchy I feel sorry for your gynecologist. They better wear a hemet!

          2. HAHAHA!!!! You kill me, NA! It has never happened while there, NA, but seeing the recent changes I can’t promise it won’t next time.

      8. SP, thank you so much for your feedback on the mirror touch. I was thinking it must be some relationship to mirror touch, though I have responses to verbal descriptions as well, and also I don’t think the sensations are as defined and intense for me as for some people. And yours sound vivid, yeah I agree on the anxiety, that it could be something else. What I like to do is try to further open my senses and this conversation is helpful for me because expanding any mirror touch perceptions is beneficial for my work anyway, and for my personal development. I’m going to read some more about it, but I love when I find outside the box stuff to read, so I’ll have a look around. I know what you mean about the time speed up. I’ve mentioned response to sound on this blog in the past, btw, I like to use binaural beats and sound frequencies for chakra mediation and focus on physical sensations. You’ve got me thinking, it is such an interesting subject.

      9. Oh that is interesting! Thank you for explaining.
        Mine was nothing like that I don’t think, I just had a touch and the person is someone I enjoy but it was very specifically a zap through me and randomly unexpected.

    2. Welcome Lisa! You have come to the best place you could possibly be! Everyone on will help support and guide you. Take advantage of all HG has to offer! There is know one out there that can compare to him. You will hurt you will cry at times you will be angry, yes you will even laugh! You have found a place where no one judges and most have gone through what you are going through! We do understand! Stay with the blog, read all of his books, take advantage of his many forms of consults he has to offer. Remember this, there is no price to high to pay for your freedom! Welcome and I hope you find the peace you so deserve.🌷

      1. foolme1time
        Thank you
        I think my response to the poll about not knowing what type of empath I am has confused you and bubbles but thank you for your kind words.
        I have been on the blog annoying HG for quite a long time , couple of years at least and had quite a few consultations etc with HG .
        My point was that I don’t feel that I can really say what I am in terms of the Empath spectrum, I have mostly focused on understanding NPD and realising what that is and understanding how much of that i’ve been exposed to in my life and really being able to recognise it, it’s not something that I fully understood straight away. It’s probably only since clearing all the narcs out of my life that I have started to look at myself in the last 6 months and see my behaviour patterns and how I have contributed to a lot of these dynamics. Of course I can recognise things in myself in HG’s posts regarding Empaths , but I can’t totally say that i’m sure of what I am , there’s bits and pieces that fit.
        Anyway thank you for your kind words.

        1. Lisa, I’m in the same position you are. Just not sure what I am! I think HG is coming up with away we can find out through a consult with him! If that’s true HG?! I’m in! Good to talk to you Lisa! 🤪

        2. Oh Lisa you don’t annoy HG! He loves being ask questions! That is what he is here for! Now me on the other! I can really get under his skin at times! 😝

          1. I do! I am the annoying one. I am not normally so annoying – I just like a good philosophical argument, even if it is a circular one with a narc (see what I did there?)

          2. Thank you again for being so generous with your time in all ways – glad I can offer something enjoyable. For me intellectual highs give drug induced ones a run for their money.