I Feel FOR You – HG Tudor on BBC Radio 4

NARCS AND NARCISSISM - HG TUDOR ON BBC RADIO 4

Last October I was interviewed by journalist Jolyon Jenkins at a BBC studio for a programme he was producing and presenting with regard to narcissists and narcissism. It was an engaging interview and Mr Jenkins asked interesting and pertinent questions ; it was a productive discussion. That interview has been cherrypicked along with interviews from other people involved in the ‘world of narcissism and the broadcast ‘I Feel For You – Narcs and Narcissism’ is the result.

Below you will find the description of the programme and a link to listen to it on demand.

I am interested in your observations concerning the programme as a whole, the portrayal of narcissism and awareness of the same and your comments concerning the other people interviewed. I look forward to, as ever, your interesting and thought-provoking comments.

‘At a time when we’re being told we need more empathy, some experts claim that narcissism – empathy’s evil twin – is on the rise. Narcissism has vaulted off the psychotherapist’s couch, sprinted away from the psychiatric ward, and is now squatting in the mainstream of popular conversation. Social media seems obsessed with “narcs”, and with detecting narcissism personality disorder in people. It may or may not be a coincidence that we ended up with an apparent world-class narcissist in the White House at just the time when we seemed to be undergoing a public crisis about narcissism and narcissists. Blogs and books about narcissists are everywhere. Jolyon Jenkins talks to people who make a living from advising the public about narcissists, and a self-confessed celebrity narcissist who offers consultations to people who think they may be living with one of “his kind”. The evidence that there really is more narcissism around seems thin, but that doesn’t mean to say that we shouldn’t take it seriously when it flips into a personality disorder.’

Producer/presenter: Jolyon Jenkins

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m00020y4

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232 Comments

  1. I’ve just listened to the interview. Unfortunately, it sounds like NPD is still a very misunderstood disorder (surprise, surprise). There is so much more than vanity, arrogance and a grandiose sense of self to it. I am so, so glad I found this blog. And I am sick of all the supposed NPD experts creating confusion (even though, I have to say, some victims-turned-psychologists seem to have understood the disorder quite well and have written a couple of good books). Finally, I wish I could tell Mr Jenkins that just because HG has altered some of his behaviours as a consequence of the interaction with the good doctors, it does NOT mean narcissists can change -because there can be no change!!!! HG is a completely different story. Read his work!!!!!

  2. Enjoyed this so much ! Very well done .
    I liked your comment about not owing any loyalty to other narcissists .

    The part about cluster B personalties walking freely (un)diagnosed did sound like as if they “we’are” all monsters . It could be true if they feel that way . This interview has been very usefull for both off my personalties . I could be in denial about having BPD or i’m struggeling with no sense of accountability strongly believe i’am a good person . Great thing to work on.

    I did think last week about us using “my” narc etc. Is a bit strange so it made me laugh what was said about people commenting online in this manner.

    I did love the way you speak logical reasoning a littlebit too much ha ! I guess I still have a type and its narcissists so wrong ….

    Much love one off your confused students

  3. This interview was very interesting. Overall, I think it’s great that HG’s name and the subject of narcissism is becoming more mainstream and that the personality disorder is being explained to the general public and that narcissistic traits are being talked about.

    I can understand a lot of the comments here that found the host was downplaying the very real damage of NPD to victims and that he made it sound like some kind of popular way to earn “click-bait” etc. I also objected to that. It’s a serious psychological subject and definitely not some kind of YouTube fad. I think the host’s own personality and tone of voice came across as sounding a bit arrogant and ‘superior’, so perhaps it was his way of trying to stay on top of the subject while not really knowing or understanding how complex it all is. It’s a big topic to try to discuss and understand in half an hour.

    As an “introduction” to narcissism, I think it’s very good. I also think that some of the blanket statements made by the so-called ‘experts’ can be misleading and need more clarification. For instance, I think that as a society, people in general have fewer narcissistic traits as they get older. It becomes less important ‘generally’ to keep up with current fashions, or to look/be a certain way, or do/have certain things. However, a person who has NPD does not get less narcissistic as they get older. If anything, their narcissism becomes more practiced and subtle as they learn how to manipulate and get what they want. I can see how subtle differences in meaning like that could cause confusion in people who don’t know much about narcissism or may jump to a conclusion that wasn’t intended. It’s a broad topic and not easy to explain quickly.

    I remember when I first started learning about the subject several years ago now. At first, I had a lot of unanswered questions and came to many conclusions that I now see were either wrong or not very well thought out. At that time, people were describing narcissists as monsters, reptiles, vampires etc, which was very far-fetched, but when knowledge on the subject is thin on the ground and it’s not widely discussed, those kinds of descriptions are fairly common. I too was guilty of thinking about them as ‘arseholes’ and my own emotional thinking just made me hate them. With knowledge, logic and greater understanding, I realise there’s a lot more to it. The human brain is capable of many unique ways of adapting and there’s many subtle nuances to understand.

    Even now, several years later after reading more and learning a lot all the time, I can see I still have a lot to learn.

    Also,what struck me listening to this video and reading all the various comments is how people seem to need to label things. We need to give a name to types of behaviours, even when the labels themselves may not be that well understood. I think it’s necessary to be able to discuss and understand things and it gives us a form of cognitive assurance to define a person as having NPD or BPD or being co-dependent or being able to tick certain boxes from a list of behaviours. I’m not so sure it’s that clear-cut or easy to define though. I don’t think anyone can be diagnosed by simply ticking a questionnaire, however, it may be a good start if you want to become more mindful of your own thought patterns or preferences etc.

    I think labels have a way of separating us and creating differences that are not that different. If we hear that someone is co-dependent and someone else has BPD, it puts each of those people in separate compartments and draws a line between them. But they both may have some similar behaviours and both can also appear quite ‘normal’ too. So it’s all relative and can get confusing. Understanding is great, but causing prejudices and stigmas due to judgements is not so great.

    Perhaps it would be easier to define what “normal” is first, if it exists at all. Maybe normal is the biggest illusion because it may not even truly exist. If ‘normal’ is the middle of the spectrum, then anything that is either left or right of that could be more easily understood without the need to stigmatise or put people in compartments.

    1. Interesting comment about defining ‘normal,’ Wisernow. My niece is studying neuroscience and one of the things that she told me is that there is great difficulty in defining ‘normalcy’ in the human brain when trying to exclude pathological populations (that is, to delineate what a normal brain vs a pathological one looks like). Normal might indeed be the biggest illusion.

  4. I enjoyed the interview. Ive watched a few vids on the topic of our world becoming more narcissistic and the roots to why this is. Personally i think its the internet and social media. The creators of the internet and social media were antisocial narcissists who spent a lot of time alone and wanted an outlet to live out their fantasy lives and manipulate. The platform of social media was created and i think has moulded people to be more narcissistic. Immediate gratification whenever you need it and creating a facade online of a picture perfect life.
    I think another reason is the disintegration of family units due to the fact everything is inflated in cost and many need 2 or 3 jobs to pay their bills. Childrens parents and examples are on the internet. They learn thru sources that are narcissistic like the music industry and celebrities.
    As well as the lack of spiritualism. People have lost sight of the big picture and zoom in on the here and now and themselves not why they were given life and their role on earth. Its very self serving.
    Loved hearing you HG and wish it wouldve been longer!

  5. HG are you Frankie Boyle?

    I’ve just been listening to him and he appears to hate him as much as you do.

      1. Lol no but frankie is good with his accents.

        Just realised I missed the most important word out of that statement.

        It should have read ‘he hates JC as much as you do’.

        Interesting though…you answered as if you knew what the missing word was! AS2016

  6. HG,

    Like most Beeb broadcasts, this one tries to be ‘neutral’ and ends up completely unhelpful. Of course they should have given you more time.

    One thing that interested me was the east and west Germany study and the possible rise in NPD due to societal changes/contexts (which to your credit you did mention). This kind of confirms what I have been trying to say on that other thread about morality as a relativistic concept. My argument is that in order for the social – and therefore humans – to survive, some behaviors are simply counter-productive.

    Society (a collective of interdependent humans) matters to how personalities (or personality disorders) and moral behaviors manifest, and even to what is recognized as ‘deviant.’ In fact, the problem with the DSM is that it is itself the product of an individualistic ethos. What it contains, what it focuses on, how psychiatry is conducted, etc are all culturally specific.

    It is a battle, if you will, between individualistic interests and social ones. Can individuals pursuing only self interest win in the end? To my mind, they cannot over the long term because people need other people in order to survive as a species. I am not talking about an individual’s lifespan as clearly plenty of narcs are successful, including you, though that might not universally be the case. I am trying to paint a larger picture of social dysfunction of which NPD is a manifestation.

    How it becomes a disorder as opposed to a collection of narcissistic traits is another question altogether but I think today’s society values and amplifies the sorts of characteristics that narcs have in spades. As always, follow the money (and my two cents).

  7. Show of hands…….who here heard Tudor’s interview at the World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day telesummit last June? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
    http://www.wnaad.com <——— go visit!

    His interview was MUCH longer than this one, it was much richer in content, NPD wasn’t looked upon as a freakin circus act, or as if it were the “Mental Condition de Jour.” The speakers were damn serious & certainly weren't calling anyone a “celebrity.”
    HG do you still have the interview or the ability to broadcast it again? Or, in its written form? Doubtful I’m sure.
    (And BTW, you’re going to mess around and get your voice recognized. Your ex’s are all over England & I bet some are very interested in knowing more about NPD—they’ll get on YouTube and, oops.)

    Experts from around the world spoke on multiple topics relating to NPD. It was fascinating. Some speakers were more interesting than others but of course we all know who the most interesting was. ;) Their website even has a store & I bought a T-shirt y’all!
    While wearing my T-shirt out, I’ve had a male and female each stop me in the grocery store to tell me their narc tales. I’m nodding and nodding and meanwhile….my ice cream is melting. It’s all good.

    Many people are WELL AWARE of NPD and the carnage Narcs leave behind. HG has been a backdoor blessing to us all but lest we not forget….at the end of the day, he’s still a Greater. I pray I never come face to face with one. I’m not stupid; I know therein lies my weakness.

    1. 69Revolver, I listened to most of the speakers. I love when the interviewers express their own epiphanies while conversing with HG. He does not disappoint! Intelligence, charm, civility, confidence are all very attractive, powerful traits that resonate in his interviews. Also, he encourages no question is a “dumb” question. There exists at times only clarification of context and an accurate or inaccurate response.

      1. E&L, that is one thing I observed about HG from the day I first heard him on YouTube (and actually, it was yet ANOTHER interview but I can’t remember the show. It was a nice, long interview and I remember at the end having to take a moment to collect my jaw from off the floor).
        He’s exceptionally patient with the interviewer, he’s not smug or condescending, and he’s thoughtful in his answers. I know in real life, he’s a great listener. !

  8. The broadcast is too short for them to have so many sources commenting. They should have focused on you, and asked you why you think you’ve become so popular even to a celebrity type status. They should have presented the damage it causes to people so listeners could relate it to their own experiences. The part about the college students and full length mirrors, I thought, reinforced the old ideas of people thinking it’s about being conceited. And then saying it’s a youth thing that people grow out of with age completely misses it as being an actual disorder.

    I wish the narcsite blog had been mentioned, so people don’t think you’re just out doing consults. Also they didn’t explain why people have consults with you, and the great progress your followers have achieved because of you.

    I didn’t realize you’re a celebrity there. Are people that widely aware of it over there? Come to America and do an interview- this is the time considering the president as was mentioned in the broadcast. People here would be very interested.

    One thing I would suggest is coming up with a reason why you’re doing this site and helping empaths. I don’t think you should reveal that it’s because it amuses you. To correct people’s misconceptions about narcissism is good – I think you’ve said because this is your legacy which is important to a narcissist’s immortality in living on.

    1. Thank you for your observations Kel. The US is a receptive audience and also has a cultural ethos of embracing self-help and self-improvement without feeling it is ‘gimmicky’. The Brits (largely) are uncomfortable with such approaches (though it is shifting). In broad terms, Americans prefer to ‘talk it out’, Brits shut up shop and suppress.

  9. HG, as always, you were spot on, but the balance of this interview is another example of what seems to vex the psychological and coaching communities. Many of the so-called experts lack a complete or accurate understanding of narcissism (and as a result can unwittingly give poor advice). The lack of clear and accurate definitions for human psychological traits, adaptations and defenses is apparent in many areas of psychology. This is precisely why your work is so different and so important. You take a rather scientific approach in defining the narcissist by school and cadre and further delineate motivations and behaviors by situation. No one else attempts this, nor offers such chillingly accurate accounts of narcissistic behavior. This is why your audience can so identify with your writing. It seems as if you personally know their narc, because without knowing them, you effortlessly identify and even accurately predict their behaviors. Genius approach from one who is self aware and keenly aware of other’s behaviors and motivations. Thank you HG and please do continue to share your interviews. P.S. Your revelation at the end was surprising. I’d love to hope you altered your behavior to benefit others, but I’m guessing you did so to operate even more efficiently?

      1. I have also endorsed you and you didn’t thank me nor have you expressed appreciation to me for doing so. Your lack of neglect is as vulgar as an excess of appreciation.

        1. Have you? Do tell and please do show me where you told me this and if there has been an oversight you may have my gratitude.

      2. You should know I did. So you don’t know everything that is posted on your site. Aha! Use your search functionality or ask your moderator or refer to your librarian. – – K stop laughing dear and go fetch Tudor what he needs. Make haste and take your adjutant Ms. Pastiche with you.

        1. I do, but given there are over 228 000 comments I do not recall them all. I am not searching for it – you assert it is there, identify where it is, otherwise I doubt you actually did. If you can demonstrate you did, I will stand corrected. Over to you.

          1. HG

            You know I read everything here and have found it is a hard habit to break, alongside you are right and I am being pigheaded and stubborn, yet slowly coming around as logic is replacing the emotional kick back I had to deal with.

            Unless Aunt Claira has gone under a different name I have not seen anything and is just trying to provoke you.

            It also seems you have an instigator that is back also full of jealousy and envy to.

          2. It does have that appearance does it not Contagion? We shall see if the evidence is provided…..

  10. Excellent exposure, Hg, kudos on this interview, and thank you for sharing with us.

    I took the opportunity to share with several colleagues, forming a round table of discussion – including psychologists knowledgeable about NPD.
    After listening to the production, we largely agreed on several points.

    The interviewer’s stance was viewing the topic of “narcissism” in general, and as many have said – a mere popular psychology trend, a flippant fad, only briefly mentioning abuse at all, and focusing on the money-making aspect. His reference to everyone except the researchers was by asking – are you qualified, calling sharing knowledge click bait, including you, Hg, asking about the monetary prospect of your consultations, not addressing the apparent need for help it represents.

    Calling the increase in narcissism that Hg cites a “moral panic” about narcissism, and a telling moment – when he acknowledges he fits several of the diagnostic criteria himself…

    He also revealed he tends to see it as “normal bad behaviour” and it is obvious, as you stated, he conflates NPD and narcissism, failing to see the importance of defining abuse, or at the very least, the damage caused in these relationships.

    What I focused on, Hg, was your contribution. You describe your beginning with the good doctors, in past tense – “imposed,” “I didn’t want to be changed” – and then switch to present tense “I see no reason to change” “I am hugely effective at what I do” – and yet there is an indication of.. change? – you state you saw (past tense) your interaction with the good doctors as a game, and yet their aim of finding a way for you to “cope in what society would say is a more accceptable manner” – there has been progress..

    “I have modified certain behaviours.” *I confess I burst into applause at this* – “without hurting an individual” – This is the most monumental statement in the entire interview. A self-aware narcissist attempting to adjust behaviour so as not to hurt… Wow… Dare I say, in your own statement.. that ugly mistress you profess to hate – Hope, has declared her presence by citing your progress… I, am in stunned awe of this herculean achievement, the real reason for admiration among your many accomplishments… I hope you continue. I certainly will do my part to continue to share you.

    1. Thank you NE and I found your observations about the programme most interesting and thoughtfully considered, thank you for articulating them. There is clearly a scepticism about narcissism and that people are utilising it in an opportunist way which of course is entirely inaccurate. I know what I am. I know what I have done to my victims. Those who read here and contribute know just how far-reaching and devastating our behaviours can be to other people. Naturally I do not disclose the full details of consultations for reasons of confidentiality but if I ever sought and was granted permission to use people’s ‘cases’ (obviously anonymised) this would provide clear evidence of a range of cataclysmic outcomes on the lives of victims. It is not something that has been invented to make a quick buck. It is a huge problem for hundreds of millions of people and the testimonials, the e-mails and so forth I receive not only provide evidence of how people are affected by NPD but furthermore demonstrate how effective my work is at clarifying, generating understanding and achieving freedom. To attach a charge to such provision is no crime. Expertise costs and of course, I provide substantial information gratis. That stated, it is useful to have instances such as this – it enables one to gain understanding of prevailing attitudes, the level of understanding (or misunderstanding), a sense check on what needs to be done and in what direction and it has created discussion and girded the loins of many readers and that in itself is a positive outcome. The subject could have been completely ignored and was not and there is nothing wrong with someone advancing a perception – it gives one a chance and a platform to address any misconception and in that build further my work and legacy and in turn assist more and more people. I am also pleased to note that it caused a round table discussion – you should have recorded it for broadcast!

      1. Had you heard the entirety of the discussion, I wonder of your response.. I believe there was plenty of fuel, often challenge fuel..

        Yes, if a person has not experienced the abuse engendered by the narcissist, people hear about a charming person they know and revert to “but he (she) isn’t like that with me, so it couldn’t be that bad.”

        You would have approved of our drinks.. including a certain bubbly I know has pleased your selective palate.

        We raise our glass to future interviews!

      1. Lol i had to laugh bc my lisyen when i get home was to your interview HG not tje narc.
        No i have no interest in his piece on BBC its a segment having to do with a hobby of his. I think its a voluntary thing he set up. He smooshed a lady from there and thats how he got started.

      2. Yes residual benefits. He likes to be a gigalow of sorts and take advantage of what people have to offer. We used to belong to an organization when he lived here and ive seen him make friends just to use them and now they want nothing to do with him.
        He was married briefly and same scenerio..residual benefits. She booted him out and he went back to the UK boo hooing and smearing. He is definitely a midranger!

  11. The BBC 4 interview wasn’t what I had hoped for but that is ok because at least NPD is being discussed.`

    The Host should have given “The Celebrity Narcissist” more air time and I found his statement about how HG managed to leverage his personality disorder to his advantage by turning himself into a Celebrity Narcissist a bit disconcerting and risible. NPD is a serious public health issue and should be treated with the same gravity as cancer, heart disease and depression and it should not be stigmatized. The interviewer fails to realize that NPD is not a choice “to be bad”, there is no choice about it at all.

    Dr. Tennyson Lee made an excellent point about the medical community’s poor understanding of NPD. General practitioners and nurses should all be trained to detect the signs of NPD in their patients.

    And I found the East and West Germany observations interesting, the individuals that I know, who grew up in communist countries, are all narcissists and I think the validity of that test is spurious.

    HG you are doing a tremendous job teaching everyone here about NPD, thank you. I will be contacting the BBC to express my thoughts, as well.

    1. “I think the validity of that test is spurious.”

      K, those observations about East vs West Germany, as interesting as they are, raised some questions, among others as to the (methodological) limitations. I searched for further information because it interests me from my perspective as a native and I would like to provide some information if HG allows. Those methodological limitations are outlined in the study design – the methods for assessing narcissism and self-esteem were based on self-reports which have limited value for assessing personality” [Vater/Moritz/Roepke 2018). Another most interesting point with regards to limitations concerns potential effects/influence that the transition from collectivistic communist to individualistic society may have had on narcissism and self-esteem – the researchers cannot “exclude confounding differences between the East German and West German cohorts”.

      The results, as stated in the study conclusion, are regarded as “preliminary evidence”.

      The study can be found online for more detailed information: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0188287

    2. Good points, K. I find the whole HG = ‘Celeb Narc’ to be undermining and a back handed compliment vis-a-vis what HG has accomplished. It turns him more into pop trivia, in my opinion, which he is not.

      Am I wrong to say that I really don’t care for most others’ opinions on NPD save for HG? I will acknowledge Dr. Sam, because he is a narc and knows his shit, but I put HG as Top Dog and of course, Top Writer Dog.

      I still love telling people that the best site for relationship and emotional health advice is run by a narcissist sociopath.

      ‘I’m serious. He has the best advice out there. Read it. Listen to him. He is great,’ I say.

      Albeit I might as well say I am an alien species from planet Zolton, with the way they look at me. It’s fucking hilarious.

      I have introduced a number of peeps to your site that way. And they do admit it is good shit once they see it. :P

      HG. He’s got the good shit.

      1. Thank you Bibi
        It seemed like the Host was “Celebritizing” HG while downplaying the seriousness of the disorder. The impact of NPD on the victims is largely ignored, not to mention the lack of proper knowledge about the disorder itself. HG is the best followed by SV so it is up to us to spread the word about narcsite.

        People look at me funny, too, when I mention that I learned all about NPD from a psychopath but who the hell else can do it?!? Only a narcissist knows how a narcissist thinks.

  12. Two things before I launch into a tirade.

    70 for a consultation? Did rates go up?

    HG’s “gothic” writing conveyed what not one single doctor adequately addressed which are the lies and abuse suffered by victims.

    Is narcissism on the rise? Of course it is. With social media we can control our image and reach huge audiences if we choose.

    The hallmarks of NPD were not really addressed, especially by the DSM. Not once were devaluation, discard, love bombing, manipulation, or lack of empathy really brought to light to distinguish between a disorder and narcissism.

    I think the interviewer asked excellent questions – the confusion of psychologists further undermines victims from being able to heal.

    I am even more grateful for HG and his writing after listening to this. I hope much of this is addressed in further interviews.

    1. They did, but you get more words and I pack more into the response so everyone is a winner.

      Jolyon did ask excellent questions and also did so in our extended discussion, I found it stimulating and interesting and we could have continued the discussion for even longer.

  13. HG, good program to be part of, great presentation of yourself.
    I think the program is a good introduction to the subject, with no intention to dive too deep into questions. It was more like a general introduction in the difficulty of the subject. It would be nice if there was more to come, like a series on narcissism for instance.
    I personally vote for an interview between you (personal experience + extended knowledgde) and a pychiatrist/pscyh prof (external observation + extended knowlegde)!

  14. 1. All publicity is good publicity.

    2. HG, you were commanding and by far the most interesting and insightful in providing your holistic perspective.

    3. I posted the following feedback on the BBC Website:

    “Excellent interview with HG Tudor on BBC Radio. More holistically the program lacked depth of a strong victim perspective. HG Tudor despite being a self confessed narcissist represented the impact on empathic individuals and a connection with their experiences very well.

    As a listener I have been left with some concern that the very serious issue of Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been trivialised by some of the judgements and assertions made by the interviewer. Consider inviting Tudor and Dr Todd Grande back to rectify this for victims.”

    The word limit would not allow me to write anything further.

    One final comment would be if an individual walked into the police station and made a confession of murder, would we try and convince them they had caused only grievious bodily harm instead? We should take seriously the assertions of those who provide us with a warning and believe them, the first time.

    P.S. HG, I would absolutely love to see a collaboration in some form with you and Dr Todd Grande – are you familiar with his work?

    1. 1. I agree.

      2. Thank you.

      3. Thank you for doing so and it is important for people to express their views and you have done so in a balanced way with a constructive suggestion.

      I do not know Dr Grande but I have been doing some plotting with regard to potential collaborations.

      1. Having read your work I know how exceptional your plotting is HG – I look forward to seeing the outcome of this in due course.

        HG, you are incredibly busy and in high demand but his you tube video on the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath is very insightful. This is a frequently asked question and often a grey area however his response is enlightening.

  15. Hello HG

    I listened to this a couple of times. I didn’t like the interview, your part was the only part worth listening to. You talk about narcissism and not around it. Your direct and not worried about being blunt, standing out in the crowd, the others have a concern for staying with the crowd because people will pick their opinion apart. With you people can pick it apart and get no where,

    Your style is as unique as you are, anyone from the uneducated to the educated that have been ensnared can understand what and how you describe your kind and the behaviors.

    Many are not going to like what you have to say.
    Not to long ago I dealt with a midranger whom was jealous of you and your popularity. He was a fool, in the end all he could do was threaten me because he couldn’t go against truth of you and your work.

  16. i was on the BBC too recently. I think what HG is doing is brilliant. I will also engage my audience this way by asking them to provide their deep thoughts.

    Fantastic show HG. I really liked it. I emailed my friends at the BBC and told them about your show and how much I would like to have a regular show about narcs. I think there is a lot of value in this. well done HG/

    1. That would be brilliant! That is such a good idea. In fact, you’ve got me thinking. I’m not unconnected either, through several channels in fact. Hmmm!

  17. Meh. I don’t like the interviewer. His skepticism abounds almost till the end. His portrayal of those spreading awareness as using “click bait” and simply wanting attention for themselves is illuminating as to his mindset…

    HG…you speaking off the cuff is one of my favorite things to listen to. Your writing is brilliant and your YouTube videos were, for a time, an addiction of mine but hearing you speak live is stimulating on every level. You were the only one worth hearing.

  18. I am also hoping you will write about the show “you” as I think having a video to watch would be a unique way for your readers to observe a narc in the act.

    1. Dear Jen,
      I’ll second that
      It appears more of Mr Tudors followers are watching the Netflix series “YOU ”
      The “ayes” have for “You” Mr Tudor
      🤣
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Bubbles, I started watching “You” the other night. We’re it not for work “getting in the way,” I’d binge watch it all. Damn job.
        The only thing that didn’t settle with me is that a Mid-Ranger or Greater would not murder; however, a Lesser absolutely would.
        I’d put Sam near a Greater.
        Now I haven’t gotten far so don’t spoil anything for me! ;)

      2. Dear 69Revolver,
        I’ll try not to precious …. somehow, I think you’re gonna like it
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  19. Maybe it’s just me but it seems like the interviewer is almost making light of narcissistic behavior. Yes there is a difference between narcissistic behavior and a full blown disorder. However, strong narcissistic traits should be a deal breaker too.

  20. I am surprised they did not mention that you have written about Trump’s narcissism. Did you tell them you wrote about Trump?

  21. One thing that gets me is that most people try to almost talk themselves out of the idea that there are a lot of narcissists walking around. It’s almost like people are more comfortable with beliving people are jerks or just sometimes rude when in reality most if not all people who are repeatedly rude are in fact narcissists.

  22. Way to go, H.G., ending the program.. Lol

    I took a lot away from listening to it, but I didn’t take any notes, so I can’t really remember anything that stuck out to me that I want to comment on, other than, somehow, the measures for narcissism use criteria to evaluate self-esteem, and how this could be potentially unreliable because just because someone has a high self-esteem, doesn’t mean they’re narcissistic, and vice versa–namely: just because someone exhibits traits of narcissism, doesn’t mean they authentically have a high self-esteem.. The latter is verryy true and I have witnessed this with my mid-ranger.. He’s the type to suffer from reality gaps and every time I got a chance to witness them throughout the years, his thoughts and expressions of himself and his actions were really revealing..

    But otherwise, this was a good program.. Thanks for informing us about it, H.G. :)

      1. I know you did a poll on this and results for it weren’t a winner, but in the future, would you consider posting an article about your analysis of a dynamic between a narcissist and someone with borderline personality disorder?

  23. Dear Mr Tudor,
    Very Interesting
    Excellent feedback here from everyone
    I don’t have total confidence in surveys …questions are usually in favour of the client instigating them and there is generally limited responses for in depth personal feedback, true accuracy is not attained and people lie

    I would’ve like a more personal “one on one” with your good self and Anoushka regarding victim abuse
    The interviewer reminded me of a game show host and quite flippant

    I feel, talking about if you’re a narc or not, could go on forever …..boring …. we know the basics …. they’re plastered all over the place these days…9 steps to being one 😴 It’s empathy or no empathy
    At the end of the day, how your being treated …..determines that

    The others made some snippets of value………however
    You outshone all the others, with your eloquence, confidence, knowledge and credibility
    Thank you for giving us the opportunity for listening and feedback
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Thank you. I have made enquiry to ascertain if the original discussion between Jolyon and me can be sent to me so you can all listen to it.

      1. Dear Mr Tudor,
        The original discussion would be awesome – ta
        You have the best advisors, supporters and critiques right here at your fingertips 💅🏻 🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      2. That would be great, HG. I am interested in listening to the whole interview.
        I wanted to ask the team to publish your interview but I could not find the ‘Contact Us’ link on their page. Do I need to have a BBC account to see it?

        1. I am not sure.

          Unfortunately the whole interview/discussion with me cannot be made available based on the BBC’s policy and guidelines. Jolyon replied promptly and politely to my request and I understand the basis on which the BBC operates. It is disappointing as we had a very good discussion and it really does merit additional exposure as Jolyon asked some good questions and I was able to expand and explain further, so it has considerable value but ultimately it is not a major issue. There are further interviews coming up with people and these will be just me and lengthier.

          1. I am glad to hear there are new interviews coming up with other people and that it will be just you.
            After registering for an account, I was able to send some feedback to Mr. Jenkins. I hope they ask you for further interviews in the future.

  24. My feedback on the broadcast is that they took a very good interview and extracted the answers to the questions that display your narcissism the most and vilified you. You were almost discounted as having any valuable knowledge at all while the good Dr there took the spotlight. They wasted their opportunity to display your brilliance. As a loyal reader, it angers me.

    However, hopefully many who have not heard of you will google you wanting more as the audience was left hanging in this broadcast. Many people will still discover your work this way and begin to read and learn. Baby steps I suppose.

    Rather than paint you as a freaking “celebrity narcissist” which I DID NOT like, they should’ve painted you as a life saver (which you are). Out there helping real people survive abuse, not handing out fucking surveys to college students! They painted you as an arrogant prick trying to boost your ego and make money off of your disorder.

    Ima stop typing now, my blood pressure is going up!

    1. Hi MB, I perceived it differently (will explain this in the hopes it will help lower your blood pressure 😘). I believe he did a good job presenting himself als the narcissist he is, including the uncomfortable things (pretty consistent with how he presents himself on the internet, which is the best thing to do since people will check up on him).

      He was not granted much speaking time in the program – which is a pity, but he was granted to be the last speaker on the subject and tell about the effort he is making in cooperation with the good doctors to be less hurtful in his interactions with others.

      So after all, I think he portrayed himself in a quite favorable manner: knowledgable, rational, consistent, having high self-awareness and wanting to make adjustments in his behaviours.

      If I wouldn’t have known his blog already, my curiousity would definitely have been raised.

      1. Thank you shesaw. My blood pressure is better today! I’m hoping people got a little nibble of HG and they were left wanting more too and give him a Google.

        1. I regard the programme as interesting, it has stimulated discussion and debate, it has mobilised people to do things, I agree it will cause people to look me and my work up (all publicity is good publicity and all that) and it has been an item on a national radio station so this should be applauded. I appreciate people’s reactions and they are valid and I also acknowledge people’s loyalty and praise for my part in the programme. Let’s see it as a further advancement and recognise there is more to do.

          1. It SHOULD be applauded. The BBC is a big deal! I just wish everybody could see you like we do and it just isn’t happening fast and I got emotional about it yesterday and showed my ass. My apologies.

        2. MB, I thought your comment on your blood pressure was an exaggeration! I’m so sorry and I hope you feel better today! Please, take care of that blood pressure 😘

          1. SP, don’t feel bad. I was playing around about the blood pressure. It’s well controlled!

    2. MB,

      I agree with you regarding declaring HG a ‘celebrity narcissist’ because is it annoying when we think of the shallowness of the term ‘celebrity’ but we here know that he has substance. Yet, if he is going to cut through all the crap out there on narcissism, being deemed a celebrity is a good way to attract attention to his work. More people will come visit his site and decide for themselves whether or not it is celebrity fluff or not.

      1. I for one wish HG was a full blown celebrity narcissist and everyone knew about him , the knowledge would spread faster. If he were a celebrity people would soon realise he’s a celebrity that can back up with the intelligence knowledge and insight. You can be a massive celebrity and be a great singer , great actor , whatever. The quicker he becomes a celebrity the better in my opinion , to spread the word , make him loads of money and keep him fuelled so he’s not getting up to mischief .

          1. Isn’t being a celebrity kind of the opposite of what you want HG? Can a celebrity be anonymous?

            Or is the hallelujah for everybody knowing your work? If that is the case then HALLELUJAH to that!

          2. To people knowing my work. HG Tudor can be a celebrity and well known because that is my pseudonym.

          3. It is me. I can be famous, effective and widespread and still protect my identity. Look at the reach so far.

          4. That is true HG. There is a lot to be said for being a celebrity and still having your privacy. It would be horrible to be followed around by paparazzi.