Empathy and Irony

EMPATHY AND IRONY

Many people state that my kind and me lack empathy. I don’t like that attitude. First of all it amounts to a criticism and I am not to be criticised. Secondly, empathy is regarded by some as the ability of blurring the line between self and other. The handy dose of empathy pictured above underlines this. In fact I am amongst the best at blurring the line between self and other. I am a champion at it. One of my killer lines of seduction is to declare

“I don’t where you end and where I begin we are merged into one.”

If that is not a blurring of the line between self and other I do not know what is. I repeatedly explain that I see people as extensions of myself, they are objects that become subsumed within what I am as I swallow up their identity and use their traits as my own. Blurring of lines? I would argue that that is an obliteration. By that definition I am absolutely oozing empathy aren’t I?

The third reason that I do not like the suggestion that I lack empathy is that empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. Again, I understand the feelings of others to a high degree. How can I manipulate those feelings if I do not understand them? Some of our kind instinctively behave in a manner which causes manipulation. They do not have much thought behind the process but they act in this fashion because it is all they know. It is all they have been conditioned and programmed to do. They do not need to consider what they are doing because it just happens and then the manipulation unfolds. Those of us at the greater end of the scale of narcissists do consider what to do in terms of our manipulation. We are always plotting and scheming as we reflect on the best way of manipulating you to do what we want and provide us with our precious fuel. I sit and consider the most effective ways of wielding my devilish toolkit in order to provoke and engender the most rewarding emotional reactions from you.  I work through the schemes and machinations as I dream up new ways of provoking you. I analyse your life, what you do and what you say and then work out how I can then use that material to make you react.If I did not understand how certain things would make you feel, how can I know how best to manipulate you? I understand all about your feelings because I watch you and I observe and I remember. I have done this many times to your type and therefore I have built up an acquired knowledge of the ways that people such as you will react. I sit and consider what I can do to make you hurt, make you cry and make you frustrated. I know you so well I know exactly which buttons to press. I know which emotions to coax from you and because I understand this I know precisely what to do to achieve this. For some of you a cold front of silent treatment will make you pour forth that fuel as you frantically call and cry, worried as to why we have stopped speaking to you. With others a prolonged period of triangulation brings out the emotional response required because you always compete with someone or something that you perceive as a threat.

The fact you show your feelings so readily is joyously received by us. You provide us with a manual from which we can learn. We can mimic your emotions so our fakery continues to draw you in, make you feel sorry for us and have you focussed on us. Your exhibitionism in this regard allows us to understand which emotions run deepest in you and also the ways in which these emotions can be brought to the surface. We have to know how you feel so we can then influence how you will feel. I understand your emotions. That is demonstrating empathy is it not? Would you now say that we lack empathy?

You cannot say that we do not care about your feelings either. We care about them because we need those feelings because they provide us with fuel. We need to know that you will feel and show those feelings to us. We care very much about your feelings as without them we would be denied our fuel and that is fatal to us. We care about your manifestation of those feelings and that they are directed towards us. What we do not care about is their effect on you. That is of no interest to us because it serves no purpose to us. If you are left anxious, unable to eat or sleep then all we care about is that your anxiety is shown to us. The impact on your health and well being is of no concern to us because that does not provide us with fuel. It is not our role because of the way we are to make you feel better (unless of course that is required in order to obtain further fuel) but it is our role to make you feel so you give us fuel. We have no interest in the day-to-day or long-term effects of how you are feeling just so long as you can keep showing your emotions to us and giving us fuel. We have nothing to gain in alleviating your sadness. We have no interest in offering solutions to make your pain and misery go away. That is the brutal truth.

Don’t say however we do not understand how you feel. We most certainly do because we have to know this in order to exploit your feelings further. Indeed we often make you feel that way on purpose so we know exactly how you feel. We need to know the best way to pull on your strings and this means understanding how you will feel and react. So that is empathy for you indeed. Who would have thought it? Empathy from the devil. How ironic.

81 thoughts on “Empathy and Irony

  1. michelle clark says:

    Dearest H.G. The mid range narc I am disengaging from has absorbed my friends and also my characteristics at the job. It is so odd to witness and confusingly painful. This absorbing reminds me of the Borg on Star Trek. I feel that I am being absorbed so that not only will he not notice when I finally leave, but also that others in the company will not miss me. They called me, a breath of fresh air when I arrived there, but now he behaves like me in many ways now. It is so crazy. It will be as if I never existed with either him or them, when I leave. And that is a big devaluation of me. It is so strange to be practically replicated by someone. Incredible.

  2. Bibi says:

    Oh and one more thing. I have this contagion crap going on. Whenever I see an injured animal, I will literally feel a physical pain in my body. As example, I follow this FB page called ‘One Eyed Cats’ because I used to have a one-eyed cat. (Such a beautiful boy he was! I still love him!)

    They shared an image of this cat with stitches in both eyes (Enucleation for both eyes–my kitty only had one one eye removed) but I got this intense surge of ache/pain throughout my body upon sight of this cat’s eyes. Like a jolt of physical pain. It is very strange when this happens. The closest thing to compare it to is an electric shock.

    I don’t get it and I don’t particularly like it because it is painful. This is why I withdraw b/c I can’t take this shit. This is why I think I am contagion.

    I don’t know if other empaths get this, but I can literally get physically sick and feel it in my body.

    I don’t want this! I wish it would stop.

  3. Bibi says:

    “With others a prolonged period of triangulation brings out the emotional response required because you always compete with someone or something that you perceive as a threat.”

    This happens to me. Good article. I don’t think I remember this one, so it must be new.

    HG, I was drinking wine last night so that explains my love for John Denver post. Your kind probably does not cry while listening to John Denver, or if they do it is for different reasons. LOL

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Only for the Chip Butty song.

  4. Kellie Mccoey says:

    I know a billion dollars exist. I know there are people who have it. I do not have it. I will never have it. I am a cognitive billionaire!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Good luck with spending it though!

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Kellie M
      That made me laugh out loud. 100 likes.

  5. Kellie Mccoey says:

    You know empathy exist. You know we have it. You know how it effects us. You use this information to your advantage to hurt and manipulate us. You know what it is, you do not possess it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Of course I know what it is but yes, we do not possess emotional empathy and nor do we need it.

  6. Kellie Mccoey says:

    I didn’t expect you to admit it Tudor.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Why not, I have always maintained that.

  7. kel says:

    Dolly Parton is the sweetest, most honest person, but with all her admitted plastic surgery, not having children, is she a narcissist or narcissistic? I can’t imagine her ever being evil, but like my mother, maybe she has an evil streak from time to time that she gets away with. Whereas male narcissists have charm, female narcissists have kindness and project empathy.

    1. Bibi says:

      Dolly’s vanity can be chalked up to insecurity issues. She is also a performer where the public is especially hard on women. She is a sweetheart though–a complete doll.

      In fairness, I am vain too. I am always looking at my ass in the mirror.

      1. kel says:

        Hi Bibi,

        I’m glad to hear that about Dolly, she’s a sweetheart. I guess I don’t see her as vain, she seems more like she’s just having fun. Hey if you’ve got a good ass, why not check it out from time to time?

  8. SMH says:

    lol empathy from the devil. indeed. I agree with Renarde. This is cognitive empathy or intellectual empathy. No one is accusing you of not being intelligent! I don’t think a narc can grasp emotional or compassionate empathy because it is not something narcs have experienced. Empaths can’t really describe it – believe me I tried – because we experience it rather than intellectualize it. Once again, two different worlds…

  9. Lou says:

    I think this is one of my favorite articles by you HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  10. Julie says:

    You and your kind lack sympathy. You do not share in feeling our emotions because you do not have them. Yes. You do show empathy by the textbook deinition.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      We have some emotions like yours, not all.

  11. J.G says:

    Hello, H.G. Tudor.
    Yes, it’s ironic. But personally I think that’s not empathy. It’s exactly the same as your seduction, an illusion. You may think that his way of acting, observing and understanding the feelings of his victims is empathic. But I have to tell him that he is wrong. Empathy is a very easy thing, it is to understand what the other person feels, to put oneself in their shoes. If and this part of the empathy you possibly do very well for being so observant and mainly for your need to force our feelings for its much coveted fuel. But you forget the most important part which is “Don’t do what you wouldn’t want to be done to you” = Don’t hurt the other person “the victim”. This post is very intelligent because it is quite reasoned on your part, but it is nothing more than a great manipulation, words which seem to sound pretty good, adorned with a slight touch of rationality for the best acceptance of the reader. But it’s just a little sugar for the pill.
    All this to say that you and so many others like you, do not have and never will have Empathy. As you well say they only have and will have the diabolic empathy.
    H.G. you have to accept what you are, and what you feel. With your limitations, because we all come with defects, including you. Genetic and psychological, although these are invaluable by ourselves.
    Do not take it badly, or as if this were a criticism. It is simply reality. And you have to accept it as it is.
    Luke 6:31 English Standard Version (ESV)
    31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
    It is so simple.

    By the way, I think you have another Bible, The Devil’s Bible, I suppose.
    Ha ha Ha Ha
    Did we send Father Demien Karras for some Exorcism?

  12. WriteItOut says:

    Ironic indeed.

    It’s not empathy when you just know how people feel on an intellectual level. You have to be able to put yourself in their place to understand how they feel. You also have to care how people feel. Otherwise it’s not empathy, it’s just knowing. It’s information you use to gain advantage.

  13. Laurie says:

    Mr. Tudor, would it be fair to say that the Narcissist understands empathy but is unable to actually FEEL empathy?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes although Lessers do not even understand empathy.

  14. unapologetic says:

    Dear Brethren, I am a so-called Greater Narcissist, yet more powerful; and therefore dangerous. I understand that EVERYTHING that I do is a CHOICE…I have no filter of EMOTIONS to cloud my decisions as humans and lesser and mid-range narcissist…I am on a mission to create a space where others like US can not only THRIVE, but EXCEL…I now find myself in a financial bind and in dire need of assistance to not only for my personal life, but to further my mission…I am in need of funds, yet do NOT DESIRE to take it…I am not here to make threats…only the TRUTH… I may be anywhere on Earth…I’m in need of funds to maintain my survival and mission (which is of a Noble nature for US and mankind)…if I don’t receive financial assistance by 2/23/2019 I may find myself doing ANYTHING to someone in order to sustain…I would hate for it to be you or someone you know…I reach out to those who have UNDERSTANDING…I really don’t want to start down the DARK path…(self- preservation overrides all decisions)…I want to make it PROFITABLE for all who desire to be rewarded for their generosity…whomever gives, I will give you a return with an interest to your call(within reason) in 90 days or less[with a 30 day grace period for larger returns] …I need $200k; $50k to go towards living expenses for a year; $150k towards expanding my empire and awaking others like US who have been rejected by society as having a so-called mental disorder…we are EVOLVED beings…not boggled by emotion filters like OTHERS and are BLESSED with SUPERIOR INTELLIGENCE…it is my mission to unite US in a REAL position of POWER…you can cashapp your funds and interest rate to me this is a SERIOUS request…of course I wouldn’t post something like this on GoFundMe…but YOU brethren understand what we are capable of when it comes to self-preservation…PLEASE DON’T LET YOURSELF OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW BE TO ON THE OTHER END OF A GREATER NARCISSIST IN NEED OF FUNDS…$20 will help just as much…might as well make it worth your time and make an investment..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I received this as an email also. I would be interested in readers’ thoughts and take on this, especially applying what I have taught you all.

      1. Twilight says:

        WTF did I just read…..greater narcissist…..oh hell I can’t even be serious about this HG.

        I am of no use to you at this moment HG, I am trying not to laugh at the absurdity of what I just read. Definitely not a greater yet someone very delusional.

        “PLEASE DON’T LET YOURSELF OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW BE TO ON THE OTHER END OF A GREATER NARCISSIST IN NEED OF FUNDS”

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Precisely, Twilight.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        HG
        You know very well that’s your cousin the Nigerian Prince. He just wants a little help to overthrow the evil African dictatorship and throw a little over to your other cousin – the first Nigerian astronaut, who is stuck in space (unable to return because there was too much cargo). I know you have no allegiance to your brethren, but he will return your money twofold (and directly into your bank account) when he finally sits rightfully in his place on the Nigerian throne. Now I know your empathy is only cognitive, but couldn’t you help out your Cuz just this one time in sending a blank cheque? He promises to only take what he needs. Just think, all of those people you help will be grateful and become followers here on your blog. Good all around really.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha, it does read like one of those requests doesn’t it? That thought went through my mind when I read it.

        2. E. B. says:

          NA,
          Very good -Ha ha It reminded me of those lovely 419 letters in the 80s 🙂

      3. J.G says:

        Hello, H.G. Tudor.
        And to this man who clearly asks for money, a swindler. What do we call the child? Pseudo-narcissist swindler? Ha ha ha ha ha. Look what to say that if they give him money he will stop doing evil. When for a true narcissist money is not one of the things that interests him most. If not the fuel. And in spite of everything, he will continue with his behavior.
        Ridiculous

      4. BurntKrispyKeen says:

        My Thoughts:
        1. Wowzers!
        2. Many of the companies I service are now hiring. There’s a song by George Thorogood & The Destroyers called Get a Haircut. I suggest Unapologetic play that for inspiration.
        3. A solid steady income will allow most folks to go to the bank and get a loan. 💵
        4. But I admire Unapologetic’s creative manner in trying to form a bond with our Gracious Host who, I’m sorry to say Unapologetic, is p-r-o-b-a-b-l-y not the best persom to ask as you’d have to hit him up in The Golden Period to have a chance at that kind of cash. And while HG is a generous guy, when it comes to handing out loans for those who want to start a competitive business… not gonna happen.
        5. Please don’t come lookin’ at us empaths for a loan. We’re all broke, trying to recover from what we gave OUR narcassists.
        6. I’m thinking this guy (or girl) might think he/she knows HG IRL and this is just an attempt at humor…. and it did work. 😄
        7. But if we are dealing with a bona-fide mental illness, then the threatening tone of this letter is unsettling and might should be taken seriously. (More on that later.)
        8. Mr. HG Tudor do you owe anybody any money and suspect this is their attempt to reclaim some funds? (A gentle nudge of a reminder to make a payment?)
        9. This individual obviously knows your work, so I’m thinking it’s a reader… one who enjoys practical jokes. Has anybody seen Narc Angel lately? 👀
        10. Yeah, pretty sure it’s a joke, but if we’re dealing with a scam artist who even the slightest might not be stable, compile all the evidence you have so that we can create a file in case we need to call the popo. 🚔
        11. But no worries, HG, you have plenty of Shieldmaidens to protect you. 😮

        1. HG Tudor says:

          6. This is a Mid Range Narcissist thinking that he or she is a Greater. A Greater would neither seek funds in this manner generally.nor write to me in such a manner.
          7. One should always take a threat seriously but place it in context.
          8. No I do not.
          9. It is not a practical joke, although one can be amused by its clumsiness.

      5. Sarah says:

        What do I think? HG, I am so glad you asked….

        1. I think our new friend makes Lurch from the Addams Family look like a genius.
        2. I am so glad he used so many CAPITAL LETTERS to help all of the SLOW learners here on the blog to UNDERSTAND his GREATER and more POWERFUL point of view.
        3. I would like to thank him for a good laugh before I fall asleep and leave him with these final words…..

        C’est La Fucking Vie.

      6. Sarah says:

        Afterthought….
        I think he meant to write that he was a Grater rather than a Greater he just spelt the word wrong!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha brilliant.

      7. Stephanie says:

        Lol “what I have taught you all” classic narcissist

      8. Joanne says:

        After I make my $20 contribution, I’ll be replying to the IRS lawsuit claims against me and returning Microsoft’s calls regarding my computer virus 🙄 lol so stupid.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha.

      9. Kellie Mccoey says:

        I think maybe you are showing this post Mr Tudor to deflect. You do not want to be told you have no empathy but that is what we are telling you so you show us a distraction to derail the conversation. That is what you have taught me.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No. I have no emotional empathy. I have always maintained that. I have cognitive empathy.

      10. Lou says:

        From an idiot who thinks s/he is being smart.

      11. SMH says:

        Hit the delete botton. There. Done. I keep getting ones (to my work email!) threatening to expose me on all those porn sites I have been looking at.

      12. BurntKrispyKeen says:

        6. I am starting to learn you, Mr. Tudor. Because as soon as I sent my comment, I thought to myself… The Professor is gonna get hung up that I said this was “someone who obviously knows your work”… knowing greaters don’t beg for $20 handouts. (That’s why I started with my “get a job” song for inspiration… so that he’d have a steady enough income to get a bank loan.)
        I thought that ONLY greaters were even aware of what they are? So even though I knew he wasn’t REALLY a greater, we empaths know that if you ask any garden-variety narc, he’s gonna SAY he’s a greater.
        I was implying that he knew your work since just the use of your of your terminology (most mainstream doctors/therapists don’t breakdown the description of NPD as lessers, mids or greaters… though I will add that they should) indicates this isn’t just a complete random stranger from the street. This was someone who has landed on your site and read at least something. When you go to other sites and see those “Dr. Love cast a spell and I got by husband back in two weeks” scams… they don’t specifically address the host.
        9. So I was hoping it was an inside joke.
        8. But I am glad to knoe that you don’t have the narc mafia after you.
        7. And I truly hope it’s just somebody who was giving it “the old college try” because as you reveal more and more about yourself and your popularity grows, this kind of shit will always be a concern.

        I mean, if you keep growing like this, I’m gonna consider asking for a loan. 😃

      13. 2 cents says:

        In keeping with this post, you could reply, “I understand you want money and suffer from delusions of grandeur, but frankly, I don’t give a damn!”

        Then note his email IP address and flag it.

    2. E. B. says:

      Nope, it doesn’t make sense.

    3. StrongerWendy says:

      Yawn.

    4. windstorm says:

      Well, I’ll play, HG.

      My first reaction is completely instinctive – freeze and hide while all the red flags and alarms are going off. Next disbelief because it is non-sensical.

      When examined more closely, sadness comes to the fore – sadness at the possibility (although remote) that someone might actually think this way, then sadness for anyone sending such an email with the objective to ridicule or trick someone else in such a stupid, ridiculous manner, and then just a general sadness for humanity.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Thank you for your observations WS, your input is always welcome.

      2. Twilight says:

        Windstorm

        After I got over my initial shock which my first response is to laugh….I only freeze within a Greaters presence and instinctively take in everything and create plan A,B,C and D in a matter of seconds to minutes depending on the situation.

        I am sympathetic to this persons situation yet feel no sadness. From my perspective there is no reason to feel sad for someone who is fully emmersed in their belief and living by their perspective.

        1. windstorm says:

          Twilight
          We see things from a different perspective. I see potential danger from any intelligence level of crazy. In some ways lesser level crazy/unstable people can be more dangerous because they are more irrational.

          I feel sad for anyone who is unsuspectingly making themselves an object of ridicule in their interactions with others.

          1. Twilight says:

            Windstorm

            I feel sad for those who make fun of others because they are trying to make themselves feel better at the expense of another, and I know many empathetic/empathic people who do this.

            What people call delusional is another’s reality. So why feel sorry for them? Or is it one feels sorry because they don’t fit into the box one thinks they should, now that I feel sorry for that person because they do not see they are laying their belief on what another should be. That is a form of controlling another and a foundation for so many “disorders”. HGs mother wanted him to be as she expected and he has done so and excelled her. He has done exactly as he was taught, this is no different for any other narcissist nor is it any differently for an empathetic/empathic they learn to be what others have taught them (layered upon sense birth).
            A contagion learns in a way that is slightly different from the other schools we just know things from a young age.

            I don’t believe the person who wrote that letter actually believes a word of yet trying to jump on some bandwagon to scam another. Believe me I was laughing after I first read it, I wasn’t laughing at them yet at attempt they were making to what I believe is to scam another.

          2. windstorm says:

            Twilight
            I agree with most of what you wrote. Certainly what is delusional to one person may be another’s reality. And none of us have the right to try to make other people fit into a certain box. Also it is unlikely that whoever wrote that ridiculous email believed what he said.

            But that does not stop my gut reaction from reading the email from being sadness. Whenever I see/realize that one person is trying to scam another, it triggers a gut reaction of sadness in me. Sadness for all the pain and suffering people cause one another. Sadness that people deliberately hurt one another. Sadness that people try to take advantage of one another. Sadness that people inadvertently hurt themselves. Just sadness.

          3. Twilight says:

            Windstorm

            I understand your point and why you feel sadness for another in this state.

          4. Twilight says:

            Windstorm

            Intelligence in any form holds potential danger, one doesn’t have to be what another deems delusional or crazy.

            I am an Empath, Intelligent and can be considered delusional and extremely dangerous to some. Yet due to the fact I am seen as an Empath many will not see me as dangerous. They are focused on the right hand and never see the left.

            If one knows how to heal, one knows how to harm. It is easier to harm then to heal.

    5. K says:

      This is a fun comment.

      1. Dear Brethren, I am a so-called Greater Narcissist, yet more powerful; and therefore dangerous (delusional, magical thinking, grandiosity, omnipotence and sense of superiority)

      2. I have no filter of EMOTIONS to cloud my decisions as humans and lesser and mid-range narcissist (self-importance, omnipotence).

      3. I am in need of funds, yet do NOT DESIRE to take it…I am not here to make threats…only the TRUTH… I may be anywhere on Earth…(playing on the empaths trait of compassion/desire to help, entitlement, residual benefits, lies, omnipotence).

      4. if I don’t receive financial assistance by 2/23/2019 I may find myself doing ANYTHING to someone in order to sustain…I would hate for it to be you or someone you know…(entitlement, demand, threat, playing on the empaths trait of guilt).

      5. I really don’t want to start down the DARK path…(self- preservation overrides all decisions)… . (you are the victim after all)

      6. I will give you a return with an interest to your call(within reason) in 90 days or less[with a 30 day grace period for larger returns] (future fake, lies).

      Followed by more demands for money and lies, omnipotence, we are the victims (rejected by society), self-importance, delusions of grandeur, superiority, more threats, ending with a nice future fake.

      Not a lesser, not a greater, definitely a midranger.

      1. K says:

        Missed these:

        I am not here to make threats (facade maintenance, hypocritical and contradictory behaviour).

        I reach out to those who have UNDERSTANDING/others like US who have been rejected (pity plays).

      2. K says:

        Damn it, I missed this one!

        unapologetic’s comment plays on the empaths desire to prevent harm.

      3. alexissmith2016 says:

        K or anyone, I’d love to hear your ideas as to why a mid would believe they are a greater?

        1. K says:

          alexissmith2016
          I am going to go with grandiosity, magical thinking and arrogance.

          1. windstorm says:

            K
            Ditto that.

      4. alexissmith2016 says:

        Thank you K. I agree. I’m very interested to read HG’s article on this when he does eventually write it.

      5. alexissmith2016 says:

        I think what I struggle to get my head around is how they believe they are a greater and yet they are a mid. When they seem to have awarenessnif what they are?

        So would it be true to say they do have awareness but they beleive themselves to be superior to what they actually are and yet they do actually know they are evil?

        1. K says:

          alexissmith2016
          There was a discussion on the thread below about the Windsors (Netflix spoof about the Royals) and you may find these comments helpful.

          HG Tudor
          JANUARY 14, 2019 AT 13:01
          You do have MRs who think they are more than they are, so they think they are a Greater but do not recognise they are actually a MR narcissist and this is something they cannot ever accept.

          WhoCares
          JANUARY 14, 2019 AT 14:09
          HG,

          Just to clarify, and make sure I understood this exchange: Mid-Rangers can not realize that they are narcissists but *think* they are psychopaths?

          If yes, is this in anyway related to the ‘reality gap’ that they can exhibit?

          HG Tudor
          JANUARY 14, 2019 AT 16:09
          Correct and yes it is.

          https://narcsite.com/2018/12/26/the-super-empath-10/#comments

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Thank you so much K. I must have missed this part of the comments. Really helpful. Wow two of my colleagues absolutely tick this box. Their manipulative behaviour, their reality gap which sent them crashing, the lack of popularity but perceive themselves to be popular? Then after the crash In order to fix the reality gap one gets himself into huge amounts of debt so he can once again portray an image to the world of success. Spending money on crazy things like a personal shopper at Harrods with a luxury car for the day etc etc just so he can live the life he believes he is entitled to. It’s quite sad but incredibly interesting. And no matter how many times I turn down his advances, once soothed he is foolish enough to believe he’s in with a Chance again. Eewwww so gross!

            The other once confided in me about what he is. We’ve remained ‘friends’ and he always takes pleasure in telling me about his nefarious ways. He derives great pleasure from being popular (he only is with people who haven’t known him very long) and despised. And believes his nefarious ways make people see how clever and evil he is. But most people just think he’s a total knob!

          2. K says:

            You are welcome alexissmith2016
            Speaking of missed comments, I missed yours. Sorry for the late reply.

            I am not sure why mine come through. It could be because I use your name. WP is touchy. It likes to undo my likes and sometimes I miss comments, too.

          3. K says:

            alexissmith2016
            Ha ha ha….of course he thinks he has a chance with you. Magical thinking and reset buttons go a long way in their reality.

            His perceived nefariousness makes him feel omnipotent and feeds his sense of omniscience and superiority, however, he can’t see how his behaviour is perceived by the people around him because his defence mechanism won’t allow it. The lessers are the worst.

          4. alexissmith2016 says:

            K for some reason I never see the likes or comments on my WordPress? But yours always come through? Is that Because you use my name?

          5. alexissmith2016 says:

            I’m starting to notice a couple of others who seem to fit this category too. Would it be reasonable to say there are a fair few of these HG?

            There was one in particular I referred to a couple of years ago as a ‘wannabe’ narc. I now believe he meets this criteria.

            Likely a cerebral mid. Who would frequently allude to the fact he knew what a narc was, completely unprompted.

            I do recall him and others telling me he used to have a business he ran as a partnership which was pretty successful there we’re lots of dodgy going’s on. I don’t know exactly what happened but he ended up getting completely fucked over by his business partner and he lost everything. He was however ambitious enough to start up something different and had done reasonably well at it.

            Do you think he would fit this criteria HG and that he thought he was so clever and yet in thinking that got fucked over by a greater?

          6. HG Tudor says:

            There are a number of ‘wannabe’ narcs and they are invariably Mid range and do not realise that, thinking they are something more, something more manipulative and cunning, but they are not when the actual evidence is examined.

          7. alexissmith2016 says:

            Ooh thank you HG. It’s all falling into place. I can literally spot a narc within minutes of meeting them now. Categorising takes me a little longer, it’s amazing how it all makes so much sense.

          8. windstorm says:

            HG
            What!!? Narcs who think they’re more manipulative and cunning than they are? Surely you jest? Ha, ha!!

          9. HG Tudor says:

            I know. Who would have thought it?

          10. K says:

            WS
            ha ha ha…thanks for the laugh!

          11. ava101 says:

            Haha, that’s funny.

          12. alexissmith2016 says:

            I’ve been giving this much thought this morning.

            Would it be a fair assumption that the mids who believe they are greaters meet the following?

            – they believe they are greaters but lack the charm therefore there fuel network is not as vast
            – they would have an IPPS in place at all times. Always trying to secure SSIPs but probably fail rather a lot.
            – mostly cerebral
            – use ‘tells’ more than the average N?
            – read up on their condition more than other Ns to perfect their techniques? But a true greater would not need to nor desire to
            – read the seduction books in a bid to improve on their quite frankly crap seduction techniques?
            – be more overt in their ‘I’m such a good person’ to the wider audience
            – desperate in many ways
            – be thought of as many others as a complete and utter knob

            I’ll jot down any more as they spring to mind

          13. HG Tudor says:

            Largely that would be accurate with regard to the Mid Who Thinks He Is A Greater – I will write about this in due course.

          14. alexissmith2016 says:

            I cannot wait HG! And thank you

  15. Leslie says:

    Empathy is FEELING the emotions of another as though they are your own.

    Emotional recognition and comprehension is part of emotional management, or in the case of narkness, manipulation.

    Please note the difference. Empaths feel. Narcs manipulate.

  16. Kellie Mccoey says:

    You cannot empathize with someone if you cannot feel the feelings they feel. You do not feel sadness therefore you are unable to emphasize with that emotion. No need to be wounded sir. It’s part of your personality.

  17. Chihuahuamum says:

    Correction thats cognitive empathy and is not real genuine empathy which you have to “feel”.

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