You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
The first stage to combatting the narcissist is to understand. Understand what the manipulations are that are used against you and why.
This book will tell you what the most common narcissistic manipulations are and why they are used by the narcissist. Acquire this knowledge and reduce your vulnerability to the narcissist.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.


      1. Grrrrr you’re being a lil shit again HG!

        I know the answer, I was just rather hoping to receive your confirmation.

  1. Whew ! Dr. Phil episode two parents both diagnosed narcissists , both manipulating each other , before Dr.Phil mentioned it I was thinking aren’t they narcs .
    1. Because off you we really learn to spott your kind
    2. My head hurts just watching for 5 mins haha got to be the worst two narcs together
    Even Dr.Phil Walked off stage

  2. I know you brew children for kiddie stew but would you ever consider a book of red flags for teens starting to date? There is nothing out there and who better to illustrate what a budding young abuser looks like..

      1. Thank you. It is really needed. And I know you don’t make kiddie stew. The problem is that hardly anyone else would be able to produce accurate information. I think several folks could produce good material on boundaries, but if you don’t know what to look for putting a fence up is kinda useless.

      2. I love this idea! So many teens think that Narcissist behavior is normal in a relationship. It may also help enlighten them about abuse of narc parents.

        1. Mercy, I am one that had mentioned the same! I have a 16 year old empath son who hasn’t started dates seriously yet. I’ve used certain instances that we have observed in public and on television as teaching moments. If some narky girl breaks my baby’s heart, she’ll have mama bear to deal with!

          1. I don’t like my oldest daughter’s boyfriend at all. He’s already cheated on her and has the social polish of an upper lesser. Although, his IQ is quite high. He’s a strange combination and I’d rather he just find a new source.

          2. Kathy0720, is have a tough time with that one! Have you suggested she have a look at ‘Black Flag’? Maybe there will be an aha moment awaiting her.

          3. I will look at it. I have before but cannot recall much of the material. Problem is.. She forgave the cheating. She is empathic and kind. Her dad (my first husband died) so there’s a constant ache for that. (He was very loving with her and she misses it.) The boyfriend essentially treats her well right now despite the cheating episode. He is her best friend so I doubt there will be an epiphany or substance. A goal for me is to protect her finances from him. She is very well positioned from that aspect and I don’t (at least) want that exploited when the time comes. It’s awful we have to think of these things isn’t it?

          4. HG, My autocorrect changed moment to “meme” in my last reply to Kathy. That’s it. Take some red flags and black flags and make them into memes. They can be shared on social media with a link to a relevant article on narcsite.

          5. MB, dating as a teenager is hard enough. Maybe if kids are educated about what they are dealing with it won’t take them plus 40 years into their lives to do something about it like some of us here. As parents it’s a touchy subject with our teens. Too much talk and they push you away, not enough talk and they become lost. Teens are tricky

          6. You are correct—she always shuts me down if I say too much about anything. My dad used to say he was always right though and he of course in hindsight was. We know more.

          7. Kathy, yep! Teenage kids think we’re the dumbest people in the world. I can still see my girls giving me the eye roll.

          8. I know right. I should be permanently bent over from the screwing over I’ve had and I just want to spare her/them the same fate.

          9. Kathy, haha I have three girls and every one of them at some point has said “I should have listened to you”. Then it was my turn for the eye roll.

          10. I’m just waiting on the day the possibility that my children’s father is an alien comes up and they ask serious questions.. Mom—if he is an alien then why did you marry him? Uh good question. Because I was an idiot. I think I know everything now thanks to HG.

          11. Kathy that is hard. Life is a learning process and it’s no different for our kids. It’s hard to say “don’t do that” and then they find out mom did it. They’re to Young to process that we were once young and made mistakes just like them. We were born mom’s in their eyes. Trust your momma instincts. When they get past those rebellious years it’ll surprise you how much they listened.

          12. Mercy
            Can you remember giving your mother the eye roll? Most of us probably thought our parents were stupid when we were teenagers, too.

          13. Windstorm, I don’t know if I did the eye roll, but I definitely remember going through a phase where I thought my mom didn’t know anything. It’s funny when my girls finally reached adulthood they started calling me for everything. They still do. The other day my 24 year old called at 11pm asking how do you boil eggs. I told her any questions after 10 she has to ask Google, I only take emergency calls after 10. She said “it is an emergency, I have to have these done for work tomorrow”. I remember doing the same with my mom.

          14. Mercy
            Mark Twain said that when he was a teenager, his father was very stupid. But it was totally amazing how much his father’s intelligence had gone up by the time Mark Twain was 24!

          15. He’s my favorite author! I thought I would die laughing when I was 10 and read The Stolen White Elephant!”

          16. Windstorm, I don’t think I’ve read that one. I remember the obvious ones, adventures Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. As an adult, when I read a quote of his I think about how wise he was in his writing. Kind of like when I read a Winnie the Pooh quote. “If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear” that bear was so smart!

          17. Mercy
            You should read the Stolen White Elephant. It’s a short story. He had lots of great short stories

          18. WS, I downloaded it yesterday when you mentioned it so I wouldn’t forget. I will read it this weekend. Thank you for the recommendation.

          19. MB & Mercy
            You all remember now that it cracked me up so when I was 10. Subtle it is not!

          20. Windstorm, I just downloaded it on my Kindle. It was on the free list! I’ll let you know what I think. Thanks!

          21. MB, I do the same with my son, but mine is only 8. He is really empathic as well. I do not go into what Cluster B disorders are. But I will teach him different things like, “Not everyone is going to love the same way”, “there may come a time when a close friend will bully you, and you will need to tell me.” Etc.

          22. Anm, just like discussions around sexual matters, narcissism education is most certainly age appropriate and ongoing. It is wonderful that you are doing that with your son. As he gets older, he will notice those behaviors in his own father. Yikes!

            My son and I observe what poor boundary recognition looks like, as well as a sense of entitlement. It’s quite easy to find examples once you know what to look for. My goal is to have him able to recognize narcissistic individuals very early in his interactions and proceed appropriately.

          23. That’s actually genius. We should discuss this further because I’m interested what things you’ve discovered to point out with him. I’ll message you soon.

          24. Very good Anm—I have said a few times that different people experience emotions differently.

          1. I’m not going to chop off your feet. But I could tether you in front of a keyboard.

          2. Just do it. I’m way too narcissistic to be endlessly emotionally supportive to my girls when they tangle with narcissistic men. It makes me yawn thinking about it.

      3. HG, That is an amazing idea! If you can get to them perhaps before the cycle starts it could change the outcome of there whole entire life!! Think how many of us have been in this cycle since childhood! HG I know you are extremely busy! Please put a lot of consideration into doing this sooner as opposed to later!!

      4. HG
        On the cover of the Teen book, make sure to plaster the words Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and all those terms they think are new to them to pull them in. They’ll be in for a surprise when they realize once again that it’s just a new spin on an age old problem. Actually the parents will likely be buying the books to get a better understanding of what those things are and then be able to start a conversation with their child. I know the concept has been raised before and your time is at a premium, but it really is needed.

          1. I had this realization last night that my mother’s two sisters were always in relationships with narcissists. My grandfather was a narcissist (I loathed him) and they knew nothing else. It just trickles down the lineage with several cousins now narcissists. One in particular is a quite stunning female and she is a vile human. (She would send HG running with a cross!) It would be nice to break the cycle. I was prime fodder for a beast—I don’t want to continue dealing with this nonsense by having hurt children.

          1. MB
            I picture those words ghosting, breadcrumbing, etc appearing as curling smoke being sucked into something representing narcissism (perhaps a black hole or a vacumn) HG has excellent vision and minions to make something sure to grab.

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