A Glimpse of the Future
It is well known that our kind operate by the wearing of masks. We have learned how to portray those emotions which we do not feel. We have ascertained that in certain situations we are expected to respond in a particular way. We know that by donning a particular mask we are more likely to charm and seduce you. We are aware that maintaining a certain mask the vicious malevolence that lurks beneath can be kept in check so that we achieve acceptability and the advancement of our agendas. There are occasions when we will give you a glimpse of what lies beneath this mask. I am not referring to when we whip the mask off and subject you to devaluation. That is a purposeful and intended act on our part. I am not making reference to when the mask fractures as a consequence of the ignition of our fury and the lesser and mid-range of our kind are unable to keep the mask in place so that the ignited fury erupts and the malicious beast is unleashed. There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol. Sometimes, especially with the greater of our kind, it is done as deliberate act in order to gauge your reaction. In such an instance, we tell you of what lies ahead to see if you baulk at the suggestion, or that more likely you respond in a sympathetic manner of even by way of denial.
“I couldn’t ever imagine you doing that.”
“That won’t happen with me though. It might have with other people but I will treat you better than they have.”
“You’re not like that, don’t be silly.”
“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice.”
If you respond in such terms when you have been given such a warning, then this is a green light to us that we have you under our control and that you will accord with our desires and machinations. It also allows us, when we do eventually behave in the manner described down the line during the devaluation, to throw it back in your face by saying.
“I did warn you.”
“Why are you complaining? I was upfront that this would happen.”
“I told you so.”
“It’s no use crying about it now. I told you what I was like.”
“I told you and you chose to stay with me. It is your fault.”
Not only does this enable us to avoid blame, something we must achieve, it will also result in you reacting and providing us with fuel.
With the lesser or mid-range of our kind, these comments are more akin to thinking aloud. The mask does slip, unintentionally for a moment, through the explanation of a future behaviour before it is realised what has been said and the disclosure is brushed to one side, denied or passed off as a silly comment owing to drink or being tired. Why do these comments arise in such a manner from the lesser and mid-range of our kind? Is it guilt or remorse? No, because those emotions are not felt by our kind. It arises from a lack of control. The “bad” behaviour that will arise at some point is lurking beneath the surface and like a cat fighting to get out of a sack, it is always wanting to make an appearance but is prevented from doing so by the maintenance of the mask that is worn. Occasionally, through the loss of control – it may be drink, it may be fatigue, it may be through inattention – what lurks beneath makes a brief and fleeting appearance before the control is exerted once again. Here are fifteen portentous show and tells of our kind. Should you ever hear these comments you ought to pay heed to the warning that you are being given.
- I am a bad person really.
- I will only hurt you.
- You should stay away from me.
- I do bad things. I cannot help it. I always do.
- I will make you wish you had never met me.
- It will go wrong, it always does.
- You will end up hating me.
- You don’t know what you are getting into with me.
- You shouldn’t do this.
- You should leave while you can.
- This is going to turn out badly.
- I have to hurt people.
- I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.
- I just want to fit in.
- I’m not what you think I am.
14 thoughts on “A Glimpse of the Future”
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The comment I got from him was “you always hurt the one you love”. Enough said. But I didn’t escape.
Sounds like Patrick Bateman. ” Because I want to fit in!”
Scary H.G.
Curious! In my case it was me telling 8, 13 & 15! And I’m 100% sure I’m nog a narc. but super empath…
HG- Have you used any of those lines yet with the new woman?
No.
HG Have you ever used these lines? Or are they something only a lower or midrange would use?
I reread the article again HG and have seen where greaters will use these lines. Apologies, no need to reply.
My MMRN decided that he wanted to look into Scientology. He related to this guy he found on you tube that said Scientology changed his ways.
He went and had the Oxford Capacity Analysis with one of their counselors. I saw him just minutes after his appointment. He told me he wanted to rip up the paper and that he was angry as the guy was asking him questions.
It actually said on one of the sections, “you are quite cold blooded.” His scores were pretty consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. I have pointed out certain things to him in this past that I’ve learned on here in a non-judgemental way as well as when I’m angry.
After this test, he seemed to be very upset. Almost in a panic. He had me complete it online to compare results.
The next day he said in a text that he was “immoral and knew he was withdrawn but not at a 95% level” and went on to say he needed to stay away from people to get better. That he was manipulative and a bad person.
He has purchased books and went to 3 meetings in a week. Is it possible he’s in some sort of wounded crisis right now or stuck in the reality gap.
Sophia
The questioning/test was either wounding or challenge fuel (they can be intermingled) and it looks like he needed to assert superiority (rip up the paper) and draw fuel to heal the wound. Questioning a narcissist is an affront to their notion of superiority and lack of accountability.
The text was a pity play and blame-shift (he needs to stay away from people to get better) and was done to draw fuel from you to heal the wound/challenge. He defends his reputation by stating he is not at a 95% level and the books and meetings are facade maintenance and a fuel grab, all indicative of midrange behaviour.
It looks like a fuel crisis to me.
https://narcsite.com/2018/12/24/the-narcissists-reality-gap-5/
HG Is this a way of finding out whether or not we will take disrespect and abuse I know I’ve had in the past brushed off things like that thinking he wouldn’t mean it that he tried to conceal that side of him self if he was really Going to be like that , I know everything is about fuel But it almost feels like I’m being set up to be blamed for his behaviour by not taking him seriously I do now
In part, yes it is.
My wife let her mask slip from time to time. Each time she did, she was melting down, crying, admitting something or reacting to perceived pressures. The night I asked for a divorce, she was confessing her affair.
She kept saying, “I can’t be who I’m trying to be anymore. I can’t be her anymore. It’s too hard. I can’t be her anymore.”
Was she referring to maintaining control of her facade? Was she in fuel crisis and unable to control the facade? Was she trying to get pity from me for her inability to control her narcissism? Her facade is as a reasonable, decent, ‘successful’ working mother and wife. Well it was.
No remorse made any further appearances.
minstigate
What you are describing isn’t the mask slipping; it is manipulation. Your wife deployed the second line of defence: Deflect and Distract by using pity plays. Typical midrange behaviour.
She was exploiting your empathic traits of understanding, caring and compassion to deflect from her behaviour to gain control of the situation, assert superiority, extract fuel (pity) and for facade maintenance and any remorse that she displayed was false. You may find this article below helpful.
https://narcsite.com/2018/12/19/the-narcissists-twin-lines-of-defence-6/