Empath Detector

 

empath detector

 

Understanding the relevant school and cadre of empath that you belong to is an integral part of arming yourself so that you effect a GOSO Campaign (Get Out, Stay Out) with the maximum effectiveness.

Recognising where you belong with regard to one of the four schools of empath and then the relevant cadre not only aids you in learning more about yourself and how your school and cadre attracts particular narcissists, it will weaponise you in your quest to GOSO and also assist you in evading narcissists in the future.

This consultation is conducted through the provision of a protocol which is straightforward and provides confidentiality between the parties. A questionnaire is provided which elicits a broad range of information about you and your behaviours to enable me to then analyse your responses and provide you with an accurate and easy to understand response through an audio sound file.

Ensuring you know what you are means you will avoid the mistakes that occur with self-analysis through lacking objectivity. It will ensure you do not embark on courses of action which are suited to different schools and it also enables you to plug the gaps in your own defences and achieve GOSO sooner and with less effort.

See the link in the menu bar for more information about the process and how to book The Empath Detector Consultation

 

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49 thoughts on “Empath Detector”

  1. HG, is it possible to be a super empath – a magnet and a dirty empath simultaneously? And if so, is this a common combination?

      1. Thank you for replying….. The Detector test sounds very interesting, and I’m interested in taking it..

  2. HG

    General question: Is the carrier cadre the most common one? The poll results show a different distribution but of course, self-assessments may not always be realistic due to a lack of objectivity.

    1. You are correct with regard to the lack of objectivity. Nobody has 100% of a particular cadre, but has varying percentages of two or more cadres. Carrier Cadre does feature frequently and is common.

      1. I realise that I wasn’t specific in my initial question – I was referring to the prevalence of the relevant ‘domineering’ cadre among empaths. I assume the poll results reflect where people see themselves with regard to their ‘domineering’/majority cadre hence my curiosity in that regard. Thank you for your answer.

  3. Hi HG 🙂 What would you say if a Narcissist or a Normal person took the Empath Detector? Thanks

    1. If an individual takes the test which does not result in a finding that the individual belongs to the empath group, then that is what they are told.

  4. Standard Empath, Carrier Cadre with an element of SE/saviour. I was relatively accurate in my self-assessment prior to the Empath Detector Consultation here on the blog, except that I don’t have any codependent tendencies according to the results.

    1. Narc noob,

      I did the Empath Detector consultation and found the result to be very precise, confirming – and further elucidating.

      I’m a Standard Carrier*, with elements of Super/Magnet, empath.

      I don’t find the label limiting; as I find it explains *tendencies* in my behaviour – with regard to how I interact with narcissists – and I’ve found it explains past choices and has been most useful in some present decisions that I need to make in my life.

      Highly recommended; even if you’re just someone interested in self-knowledge.

      *K, remember our past discussions?

        1. Narc noob,

          Yes. I had tried very hard, with much reading and a lot of self-reflection. And I was pretty close – but the results reveal why I couldn’t pinpoint it.

        1. K, funny how all the carrier kind have commented. I think I am high carrier also – I just wouldn’t fair well looking after a terminally ill, disabled or the elderly for too long. 3 kids are quite enough – so that empathetic trait of the carrier isn’t strong.

          1. Narc noob
            Carriers are a popular cadre and there are plenty of them here. I have three children, too, so I understand why caring for an elderly or sick individual would be too difficult. We have to be practical because there is only so much one person can do. If I had plants, they would all be dead because I would forget to water them. I know my limitations.

          2. Hahaha, K!
            ” If I had plants, they would all be dead because I would forget to water them. I know my limitations.”

            Ditto what you said; if the plants don’t come and tap me on the shoulder saying they are thirsty…well, survival of the ambulant!

          3. WhoCares
            Ha ha ha…your comment reminded me of Little Shop of Horrors- Feed Me. In my world, if it is ambulant, then it can get it’s own water and food; I don’t have time for plants.

          4. K
            That made me laugh – Little Shop of Horrors is hilarious. I can relate to all the limitations mentioned – I am a Carrier Empath of the selfish variety.

          5. Saskia
            Feed Me, Seymour! That had a great cast and I had forgotten that John Candy was in the movie.

            Part of being practical is being selfish but it is motivated by a sense of responsibility. It is about balance and reasonableness and there is nothing wrong with that type of selfishness.

            Carriers are grounded, practical, pragmatic and excellent problem solvers. – The Carrier Empath

          6. K
            Indeed and then Steve Martin as the sadistic dentist.. haha.

            I entirely agree re “selfish”, “balance” and “responsibility” for oneself and others – it is essential and I consider it a matter of self-respect and self-awareness to know one’s limitations and protect one’s ressources by having firm, healthy boundaries.

          7. Saskia
            Ha ha ha…Steve Martin is fantastic!

            Good boundaries are very important for healthy relationships with family, work or friends. They keep your sanity intact.

          8. K,
            Haha “Little Shop of Horrors”…such a memorable movie!
            I hear you; a friend of mine has rooted, nursed – and now planted in a pot – a cutting from one of her plants…because I’m looking for new residence…so she’ll give this well-cared for ‘baby’ of hers away…to me…when it’s time.
            Oh dear…

          9. “well, survival of the ambulant!”
            That really made me laugh.

            I am carrier also. I felt the same way as you all are saying because I can be selfish. But my job is a carrier job, I didn’t get all that til I did the detector thing. I also am a carrier with psychological things and I think a lot of people on here are. I now notice myself doing it pretty much every single time I talk to a narc, it’s almost how I can detect them easiest, if I start trying to reassure them about something it’s either a narc or an empath, though some narcissists don’t go into that dynamic. Sometimes it happens within minutes of meeting them.

        1. Ooh, thanks K. This is also the one on MB’s creature…will have to have a re-read later…

          Much appreciated, K! ♡

          1. Hello K and WhoCares,

            Thank you so much for sharing this link, K! I read through all the comments and was incredibly moved by the bravery of MB sharing her trauma experience and her resulting fear of the dark kernel within. I want MB to know I see every part of her as more than good enough. Brave, compassionate, intelligent, caring and resilient come to mind, MB. I was equally impressed with the honest and caring replies from Windstorm, NarcAngel, Twilight and others. I’m grateful you are all here. It would be a sad day if any of you left. And K leaving? The defender of justice and master magician of finding all links? No way. We would pay you to stay 😉

            For those that suffer from a critical inner voice (very common even if it seems like your voice), confronting your inner critic sets you free. Fact find (seek logical evidence) of truth against the criticisms that seek to keep you stuck in shame. Talk back to that voice with your truth (intent and facts). You are not the toxic shame you feel. Not at all. Behaviors are what we do, not who we are. We all make mistakes. When this happens, healthy guilt draws us to take action to realign with our values. Conversely, shame creates false beliefs that we are bad people (partially or fully) versus that we took a bad action. When we are young, if guilt, shaming and blaming occur (these can be veiled) by those we seek validation from, this can plant the seed of shame. Do not believe the lies. I’f anyone would like links to research in this area let me know. I borrowed liberally from their works to construct this reply.

            You are all amazing. Thank you for being here. I am grateful.

          2. My pleasure FYC!
            And, thank you for your kind words. Ha ha ha…you cracked my up. It would be a sad day if Windstorm, NarcAngel, Twilight, MB or any of the others left. WS is on hiatus and MB is NC at the moment but I hope she pops back in again and others have cycled in and out. It is always nice to see them come back. I am happy you found your way here and I am truly grateful for you and the others, as well. It is very difficult to find support for this type of abuse and Narcsite provides both support and accurate information. It is definitely an amazing place.

          3. FYC,

            Thank-you for your very considerate words and your very practical suggestions on dealing with the ‘inner critic’ – I think we all try to deal with that inner voice in each our own way.

            It bothers me when I read of MB’s internal thoughts – not for the fact that she shares them; that is valuable – but because we see the evidence of what a lovely person she is – and how she just needs to tell that inner criticising voice to shut the heck up! Lol. (But of course, it is not always so straightforward and simple.)

            It also bothers me when I read of Windstorm’s admittance that she gets very depressed and feels alone because she is constantly aware of how she affects other people, and acts in a way that is mindful of this but then feels…resentful…(I think? maybe she’ll correct me when she’s back) when others are not mindful (or even aware) of how they affect her, or those around them.

            Anyway, it feels a bit weird not reading their contributions, as of late, and I wish them both well!

            FYC: on your reflections/feedback – agreed, there are some very special people contributing here who, occasionally, fail to see their value.

          4. Hello WhoCares, Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reply. It is that last part of your reply that spurred me to comment in recognition of you all. You are all impressive. Yet, as you aptly noted, it is an individual process to accept the fullness of ourself—the parts we feel good about and those we may wish to change. I just felt I would share my observations rather than withhold what I see. I do believe your user name stands for one who cares, versus the rhetorical question of who cares? 😉

          5. FYC,

            “I do believe your user name stands for one who cares, versus the rhetorical question of who cares?”

            In the beginning, FYC – when I signed on to the blog – I didn’t have the confidence to name myself in any other way.

            After that, I left it open to interpretation.

            Thank-you for your particular interpretation. ♡

          6. One Who Cares, you have come very far from that day indeed. Spelling out your name that way sounds like an American Indian name honoring your heart. Very apt, but I’ll return to WhoCares as it is shorter 😉

          7. WC, I did not see that about how windstorm felt, but it doesn’t surprise me. I feel that way all the time and didn’t have a description for it. It eats at me. And I feel guilty for feeling like that. I will sit in a conversation and intentionally effect the feelings of the person that I’m talking to. It’s easy for me, I don’t know why. It’s not like I can fix their problems, I can’t, but I usually with expressions and emotion and understanding effect them to at least a temporarily more comfortable place. I will often spend automatic effort and intention to do it and it flows but then when anything switches to me the other person feels absent to me. Most of the time it isn’t too bad, but other times when there is a lot weighing on me I feel distraught. It makes me want to be away from people. Every once in awhile, not very often, I snap at someone about it.
            I hope I didn’t make windstorm feel that way ever, but it is possible, but I can say that I still feel things from people, it is hard to communicate online sometimes.
            I’m glad you said that because I’d not heard anyone say it like that before. When I feel resentful I feel bad about it, like my expectations are whacked, but I also feel like (with in person interactions) there is a very obvious difference between how my energy communicates and how most other people’s does and sometimes it builds up after a series of things that compile.

          8. nunya biz,

            To clarify, my comments about Windstorm were not from any one thread, nor were they directed at people here on the blog, but in her real life. (At least her statements lead me to believe that but I guess it could be more generalized.) My observations were just gleaned from more than one comment of hers that I have read. But I don’t know if I understand her completely and the Contagion element contributes to her experience and I certainly don’t claim to understand that perspective.

            However, I’m glad for your input on sharing the ‘energy’ exchange when you interact with others. (Not that I fully understand your words; but I chalk that up to it being difficult to explain anyway). Because in trying to understand others here and making the connections with my own experience I have come to some conclusions. I am not a Contagion but I have come to realize that I’m hyper-vigilant of my ‘effect’ on people – from my actual physical presence to my mood and every action and decision. (No wonder we like the occasional drink etc…to nullify that…and be more ‘natural’ – it is absolutely exhausting – no wonder we want to take off – sometimes to the ends of the earth in order to avoid interacting, in the slightest, with another human being.)

            I know personally, especially in situations like riding in the subway in a big city, that I’m always tuned in to ‘space’…like where exactly I’m situated…and am I invading anyone’s space…is my elbow poking them…are my belongings crossing that ‘invisible’ line that indicates their personal bubbles…etc…and I take offense when others do not respect this. (I know it’s a cultural thing too and I make allowances for that.) But this level of consciousness plays into every step I take in a day – if I let it. That is why I recall enjoying living in a big city because ‘anonymity’ relieves some of that…or being so bone tired you just don’t care as much about it…I never thought of it as ‘energy’ or emotion per se, but maybe that’s because I’m more in tune with my body? For example, I’m very tactile and sensitive to textures, taste sensation, touch…etc…and I can read the body language of others more readily than I can guess their thoughts.

            Does that make any sense?

          9. WC, yes, I know you weren’t referring to anything, I appreciate what you said because it’s something I’d picked up on a bit prior to this conversation, so I was very curious. And also it’s something specifically I had been trying to talk about and ask people about but I’ve never been able to do it actually because I couldn’t put those words to it and they really resonated with me, she said it well, whatever she did say over time. It’s a feeling I feel the need to address and process so I can settle with it a little bit and I get the “alone” as a result feeling. I feel like I’m not supposed to feel that way, if that makes any sense.

            Yes I know what you are saying with the space and the sensitivity, I very much feel like that. I shared a little bit with HG on contagion and I hope it is helpful, but I’ve no idea. I hope we get to read more about it : ) I feel like mine goes up and down or in and out or something, but it is there. I’ve got a mess of schools and cadres it seems, but a couple of primaries. The anonymity makes sense too. Thank you for sharing, it was helpful to me.

          10. nunya biz,

            To clarify; you feel resentful of people because they are not as equally conscious of how they affect others – as you yourself are? And this makes you feel guilty for resenting them? I’m just reiterating to make sure I understood you.

            It is definitely difficult to put words to…from what I understand from those here who are Contagions, I know I’m not one – certainly not on the level with regard to their ability to feel emotions.

            But I know from having shared living quarters where I am now that I am ultra conscious of not over-stepping the boundaries of others – but I  don’t just mean emotional boundaries – I mean *everything* boundaries…to the point where it actually gets difficult to function. I think this is purely a product of narcissistic parenting and further narcissistic entanglement. It is like Windstorm has communicated that you just feel “wrong” all the time.

            For me, this is currently playing out, because I am a guest in someone else’s house I am constantly assessing how I can contribute but at the same time not be in the way…like I want to do the dishes late at night (cause my son is asleep), but I might wake them up by making too much noise – but then if I wait…I get busy doing things for my son…the dishes sit, then someone else does them and I feel guilty for not getting them done earlier (this is a simplistic example) but it’s partly as a result of feeling like I can’t do ‘enough’ or the right things at the right time; which is what is communicated repeatedly by a narcissist. It is just as if I am constantly assessing how to do the least harm…that when I get ‘nothing’ done I then beat myself up when in actuality I was doing stuff. And then it just spirals into feeling depressed etc…

            Even when I choose to protect them by making sure I keep my emotions in check and keep my “stress” to myself – I still cause them harm or ‘stress’ by not talking with them…because then they have no clue what’s going on and they are concerned/worried – it’s like I can’t win for trying. Now, these people are empathetic so if I do try to explain it to them, they do understand but continue to fall into the same patterns. It is actually a bit more hurtful to me than a narcissistic entanglement…because I’m causing genuine hurt feelings and stress to people who have been very kind, supportive and understanding to my situation. And I’ve learned I really need to move on.
            Sorry to hijack the topic with that personal story but it illustrates how the damage can play out in relationships with normals and/or other empaths.

            It just gets depressing and feels as if you could just stop causing ‘hurt’ to people or affecting others you’d feel better yourself – hence the desire to go live in the middle of the desert…or a cabin in the woods…or a hole in the ground.

            I think this need must be even more intense and pressing for a Contagion but it wears on other empaths too.

          11. WhoCares, I know exactly what you are talking about!
            I have felt exactly what you are describing. I am so sorry you are feeling that way right now, I think it’s related. I experienced it living with my parents also, even briefly as an adult, but also as a child probably. I think that it is worse than what I am describing right now as far as physical feeling in many ways. I was never successful living in shared space with others because of what you are describing. I felt so much better when I was able to avoid it and have my own space.

            I think now I have enough freedom that my skin is a bit thicker so I go through it less. It seems like it highly depends on life circumstances how to manage it. I often feel out of sorts with “normal” people, and I often feel they are narcissistic, but at the same time I had to practice not acting like a narcissist for years anyway while balancing emotional responses. I have been thinking that’s what can make narcissists attractive. I remember when I was living with an abusive lesser he and I decided to see a counselor and when I had a therapy session alone with a young man I told him a short synopsis of my issue. He was new to therapy and looked at me with nothing but concern and asked me why I would stay. I remember even his kind facial expression made me feel disconnected, like he couldn’t explain to me anything because he just didn’t know. I see that differently now, but he likely had no experience with my perspective, so there was no recognition. He acknowledged that though and I moved to another therapist.

            So I don’t know if what I’m talking about is contagion related or not anyway. It sounds similar to what you are saying. I have a friend who has a lot of life stress and when she explains it to me my responses are easing and give perspective that she can take or leave for herself, but they help and are meant to contribute to her internal feelings independently. When I share my situation the response is more that she’s had that happen also and overcame it herself, so I feel it’s dismissive. It’s not intentional, it’s just that she can’t feel me acutely enough to remove judgment or something. I was telling you about my male friend who was picking apart the accuracy of details I was saying. That is because what he wants out of conversation with me is different than what I need? These things often don’t bother me too much, but during a time when there’s a few issues at once and it happens with several people I get extra reactive and aggravated and want to be away.

          1. Twilight
            Ha ha ha…yes, that is the thread.

            K
            MAY 24, 2018 AT 15:01
            WS
            That is a great song and when I read Twilight’s comment, I immediately thought of Mumbo # 5. She is a little bit of every cadre; an ocean of emotion.

          2. K

            Yesssss!!!!! And it is stuck with me.
            I heard Mumbai #5 the other day and thought of you.

          3. Twilight
            Ha ha ha…ever presence! Whenever I hear that song, I think of you and HG. Also, the Twilight Saga reminds me of you, as well.

          4. I’m all the things too Twilight. It makes me want to hide under my blankets.

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