The Saviour Empath
There are four schools of empath (Co-Dependent, Standard, Super and Contagion). There are many cadres of empath which layer on to those schools. These cadres include the Carrier, the Magnet and the Geyser, about which I have written previously. A further cadre is that of the Saviour Empath.
The Saviour Empath’s mission is to heal and to save, to ensure that good prevails. They are the archetypal believer in the idea that there is some good in everybody. With regard to our kind, the Saviour Empath does not consider that we are intrinsically ‘evil’ or ‘bad’. They prefer to adopt the view that there is good locked away inside of us and that it just has to be discovered, unlocked and set free. This notion of course and the desire to address this apparent goodness is a very strong binder which enables us to keep a hold on the Saviour Empath. Indeed, there are those of our kind who will play on this concept and this is addressed below.
The Saviour Empath feels an overriding need to save the world. They wish to right the wrongs, heal the sick, tend to the injured and ensure that injustices are overturned. It is this desire which is at the very heart of the Saviour Empath. The Saviour Empath is often someone who subscribes to a belief system (whether it is organised religion, karma, paganism or similar) although the absence of such a belief does not discount the person as being a Saviour Empath, but a reliance on a belief system is a hallmark of the Saviour Empath. How does this manifest with regard to each school of empath?
Standard Empath – the Saviour Standard Empath regards it as imperative that he or she comes to the aid of people. They will donate to charity, help out voluntary organisations and are giving of their time. With regard to the narcissist, this manifests as adopting a sympathetic and compassionate approach to the unusual behaviours (when the empath is not aware they are ensnared by a narcissist) of the narcissist. Accordingly, they regard the narcissist as a ‘good’ person (supported by the narcissist’s illusory behaviour during the golden period) and therefore when devaluation occurs they will ascribe the behaviour to arising from a third party event rather than seeing it as the behaviour of the narcissist at work. The Standard Empath wants to assist the narcissist and does so by trying to understand and offer solutions linked to the aberrant behaviour that is being witnessed. The Saviour Standard Empath whilst wanting to save the narcissist from whatever terrible third party event or influence that is causing the behaviour (for example, is the narcissist struggling at work, is he stressed, has he got problems with money or drink?). The Saviour Standard Empath will put themselves in the firing line when trying to assist, but they do not tend to regard the problem as much to do with them but rather another factor which they want to tackle and overcome.
Super Empath – the Saviour Super Empath is akin to a caped crusader who fires into action whenever he or she witnesses injustice. They cannot help but interfere when really it is not their business (this is the narcissistic trait of selfishness coming to the fore momentarily). The Saviour Super Empath will not turn a blind eye to someone in trouble, they will help the injured person and then look to tackle the perpetrator (or at least bring them to account through formal channels). Thus is the Saviour Super Empath sees someone being attacked, they will help the victim, look to fight off the attacker and/or chase them down, either themselves or enlisting help. They cannot let any kind of injustice go unaddressed. The Saviour Super Empath has a very strong moral compass and therefore when they see something that is wrong, it very much boils their piss so they spring into action. Whilst they always look to help people, what really matters to the Saviour Super Empath is bringing people to account for their actions. If they see a person cutting into a queue (line) they will upbraid the offender. If they witness a person stealing, they will look to stop them or report them. The Saviour Super Empath is a firm believer in the need for good to prevail, whether this is in a situation or in a person. With regard to the narcissist that a Saviour Super Empath is embroiled with, the Saviour Super Empath knows that this person has a kernel of goodness and if they only triedto embrace it, let it shine etc then such a difference will appear. They believe the narcissist has it inside of them to make adjustments, amend their behaviour and harness the intrinsic goodness inside of them. The Saviour Super Empath knows that they are a force for good and they believe that the narcissist can do the same. The Saviour Super Empath recognises that they themselves are good people but that they have some degree of edge to them (their narcissistic traits appearing from time to time) and they often regard the narcissist in the same light – a person who has edge but is intrinsically good – and this fools the Saviour Super Empath in to wanting to assist and save the narcissist.
The Co-Dependent – the Co-Dependent who is of the Saviour Cadre finds the world to be a terrible place and wishes to administer succour to the downtrodden, to assist the hurt, and to heal the wounds of the injured. They are less concerned about bringing the offender to justice and more about attending to the people who are left cowering and broken in the wake of oppression and violence. The Saviour Co-Dependent is a person who is extremely caring and compassionate – the type of person who would join Medicins Sans Frontieres and arriving at the scene of a humanitarian disaster would work themselves into the ground to try and ease the suffering of each and every person even though it is an impossible task. They are often overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world and despair at its evil ways, but this will not stop them from trying to save each and every person who is in need of help. This applies to the way they engage with the narcissist. The Saviour Co-Dependent (“SCD”) knows and is absolutely convinced that the narcissist is at heart a good person and with the right application of guidance, support, compassion and tolerance the narcissist will change, will improve and let that goodness shine. The SCD will not give up on the narcissist, even to personal cost to themselves. They know that redemption is just around the corner, that improvement is on the horizon and they will, with a zeal bordering on delusion, grasp at any sign of improvement or alteration in the narcissist’s behaviour as evidence that their faith has not proven incorrect.
The SCD will flagellate themselves in the pursuit of trying to help and heal the narcissist, their emotional thinking and innate desire to do good, plus their own need to achieve validation through their giving of themselves means he or she will continue to try to achieve the impossible. They will not wish to give up, they will see glimmers of hope, slivers of optimism and fragments of possibility in order to achieve their aim of saving the narcissist.
The Contagion – the Saviour Contagion Empath (“SCE”) will manifest their desire to assist as a consequence of the severe impact felt by them of the negative energy, suffering and misery that accompanies the human condition. The desire to save and resolve, to eradicate the diseased and bring about the healing is different to that of the other schools of empath. The SCE needs to achieve this in order to secure balance, which is their primary aim. By redressing the bad, through their saving good works then balance is restored and the polluting impact upon them of the negative energy which they feel – the manifestation of the woe, misery and hurt that others feel – is removed and no longer (albeit temporarily) ceases to be a burden upon them. With regard to the narcissist, the removal of the dark energy surrounding and flowing from the narcissist’s behaviours has a considerable impact on the finely-tuned SCE. In order to alleviate their own pain, in order to prevent themselves from being consumed by the darkness which they acutely feel, the SCE seeks to save the narcissist from their dark self. They similarly wish to achieve balance with their own personal narcissist or narcissists.
How are these various schools of Saviour Empath regarded by our brethren? As you might expect, the SE is naturally desired by narcissists for their empathic traits, class and special traits too. Accordingly, no narcissist will ever shy away from the ensnaring of the SE. There are certain schools and cadres of narcissist however that desire the SE in particular.
Victim Narcissists desire the Saviour Empath owing to their need to be mothered, looked after and saved from their various ailments (real or imagined). The SE’s desire to bring about healing and resolution is savoured by this cadre of narcissist. Lesser Narcissists will not turn away a Saviour Empath, but they are not favoured (unless the Lesser is of the Victim Cadre) since the Lesser has no truck with the idea of being healed or saved. From what? Will be the mocking response as their complete lack of self-awareness means that they have no comprehension or need to be saved in that manner.
Mid Range Narcissists treasure Saviour Empaths because of the fact that some Mid Range Narcissists like to play the ‘troubled soul’ or ‘personal demons’ approach. Whilst unaware of what they are, their awareness that there is something not quite right, coupled with their passive behaviours and need for attention, means that the Mid Range Narcissist truly sees the Saviour Empath as the one who will save him from himself, even though this is just part of the manipulation to keep the Saviour Empath hooked. The Mid Range will revel in becoming the pet project for the Saviour Empath and will instinctively play along by tossing a bone of apparent awareness or improvement in order to maintain the hoped for glorious redemption that the Saviour Empath craves.
The Greater Narcissist is likely to prefer other cadres but again is not going to kick the Saviour Empath out of bed for eating crisps. The Greater may find tormenting the Saviour Empath a delightful machination by increasing the visibility of their dark side so that the Saviour Empath sees a challenge which has to be surmounted. Of course, the Saviour Empath is blind to the fact that the Greater cannot be healed or saved, but that will not stop the Saviour Empath from trying time and time again.
38 thoughts on “The Saviour Empath”
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HG, I understand the underlying addiction to narcissists. I personally am impressed with those who are able to break that and fall in love with a non-narcissist. I have known many non-narcissist guys, who are nice, but all immediately become friends to never leave the friend zone. It is currently happening now with someone. It is not because they are boring or anything, pure subconscious decision. Is this just an issue of me being me or is this issue tied to a particular empath?
It is the result of being an empath generally and the impact of emotional thinking.
Thank you, HG!
What’s The Cliff , I cant find it in search
Pending article.
Pending soon?
I meant: will it change from ‘pending’ status soon…to ‘posted’?
Depends on time constraints.
:-D…you can tell I’m on the ‘edge’ of anticipation!
I see what you did there!
“Kick them out of bed for eating crisps”
Hahahaha
Hello H.G.
I’ve been appreciating the knowledge you’ve been willing to share. I haven’t gotten through everything yet , but would like to know if a long term (13 years) IPPS takes on narcissistic characteristics, whether out of self- preservation, anger, what-have-you? — “asking for a friend “…. Thanks in advance.
No, there is no such thing as narcissistic fleas. This is the reduction of empathy exposing narcissistic traits (which all people have). It arises in situations such as The Empathic Supernova or The Cliff.
Hi, H.G. Tudor
I wanted to ask you, if you are right to answer this question.
I have read your two books of red flags and black flags. But when I read it, I didn’t identify the slightest red or black flag in my narcissist. Instead, I saw all these in my current partner. But this one, my current partner has no power or impact on me. I am seeing that almost all my life I have been surrounded by a narcissist. Since childhood with a narcissistic mother, later with my narcissist and later with narcissistic couples or lovers but these have not had any influence on me. Possibly because of the impact and emotional engagement of my first narcissist. Because I see in others the red or black flags and I can not see or recognize the flags in my narcissist who marked me? Look, I have read and reread these books but I can’t remember or see a single red or black flag in my narcissist. My current partner has more red flags than a ski descent, but this one has never done anything to make me angry or upset, or cause harm. Why didn’t I see, nor do I see these flags? No matter how hard I try, I can’t see anything, I would be blinded by their brightness? or on the contrary the level of abuse, in my childhood I made these red flags go unnoticed, as if I were wearing red glasses? What do you think about it, should I go to the optalmologist? jajajajaj.
Already out of jokes, what do you think about it …
You either did not know about them to identify them and/or your emotional thinking caused you to miss them, tone them down, dilute them so you ignored them.
So i once thought like some of these kind people in your comments. I wanted to heal the world. I wanted to right all wrongs. No one was all bad. Well i have learned some very painful lessons. There are people that have zero good in them. Lots of them sadly. That was the 1st lesson by witnessing true evil. It was not pretty. I see many trying to appeal to the good part of you sir. Can i be honest? You sound like a pompous wind bag. I guess telling the truth makes me a narc. Some of this i think you came up with good theories that are relatively accurate. However, if you do not experience empathy how can you truly know what any victims motive is or goal? Objective data only yields so much. Also how do you know for sure a mid level or low level narc, 1. Does not know what they are and never will and 2. Do not know their reality is false. That they are merely reacting instinctively? Yes i am pissed. I am all out of give a f%2k. I was so trusting. I was fucked up already now I’m certifiable and i mad. Lastly the Sophie women. She was on the verge of snapping. Your ego is so inflated i guess you never pondered her hurting you. She said she must smile and not think or bad things would happen. She meant her i think. Not what you would do but her. She was scared FOR you. Some of your victims had masks of their own i bet. Thanks for your time. Good day.
Maddox, I enjoyed your rendition of Sophie, reading it this way makes me feel a whole lot better, thank you.
Like you I came here a few months ago with beliefs that everyone is intrinsicely good, it just needs to be unleashed, uncovered or healed to shine forth. I also thought it was possible for everyone to change if they really wanted to or seeing it a benefit they could consider it. I also feel the *instinctive* behaviour as mind boggling and illogical, a bit like us if and when we let ET take hold.
I find it difficult to wrap my head around instinctive behaviour too. It’s instinct to have the fight or flight.. and out emotional thinking can be changed.. I can’t get how it’s instinct for some humans but not others to dish out abuse, manipulations, a false self and lie for the sake of it.. and instinct to be like this with only certain people too! Instinctively charming with others? So it’s also instinct that Chris watts killed his wife &children, instinctively disposed of the bodies, instinctively lied about it then confessed like a cat instinctively kills a mouse? I know there are genetic factors, but upbringing plays a part in changing instincts? Silent treatment to a spouse links to what basic instinct in a human?
Flutterbymorpho
Perhaps because instinct can be individual? An instinct may be something natural to you but may not be to others. Even in your fight or flight scenario some will instictively choose fight while others choose flight. Your natural instinct in a dangerous situation might be to protect your child. A narcissist’s instinct generally will be to protect themselves. Both are natural but not to the other party. They may reason that acting differently (benevolently) may benefit them and the facade, but it is not instinctive to act on thst first. If I’m wrong about their perspective on that I’m sure HG will correct me, but that’s how I currently see it.
Maddox, you seem loaded with fuel.
Hello, H.G. Tudor.
I still consider myself codependent. I see myself more with the description you make is this pots.
But I think I’m working to stop being one, it’s just propose. Maybe a little. Although it’s already known.
“I propose and God disposes”.
Post no pots ajajajjajajaj.
I’m still not aware of what a Contagion is???
Anm
This article explains emotional contagion very well.
https://narcsite.com/2019/02/10/the-three-strands-of-empathy-7/
Thank you
My pleasure Anm.
A Contagion is an authentic empath.
I am sure K can find the discussion between I believe it was EB and I on a different thread not long ago.
Anyone with empathy will have the emotional contagion strain it is what causes what I call glimpses the other schools catch of what a Contagion deals with all the time.
Twilight and Anm
The first link is the conversation between you and E.B. and the second link also has a conversation with you and several others about the contagion empath.
https://narcsite.com/2019/02/28/99-problems-but-a-narc-aint-one-2/#comments
https://narcsite.com/2019/02/04/narc-magnet-7/
If that isn’t the right link with you and E.B. let me know.
K
You are an absolute dolll with amazing searching and find skills!!!!!!!
Thank you yes that was the conversation I was speaking about.
My pleasure Twilight!
P.S.
Thank you Twilight.
Is there a school and cadre that appears to be reoccurring in your own IPPS, HG? How many would you say are similar?
I believe I could be more of a mixture of Saviour/Carrier SE, with normal and narc thrown in for good measure as well.
Is it fair to assume I’ll always attract the MRN then, and never the LN or GN?
I prefer Magnet Super Empaths.
With regard to your own status and what that might mean in terms of who you would attract, you should book an Empath Detector Consultation.
Also good news for me today when I read my file at the hospital today said that I was to be seen by anyone with the exception of narc-asshole pitty it didn’t include his protege whenever possible and seeing as there is a whole team of them there is no need for him to see me 😃
I relate to the saviour super but I think you are wrong about it not being our business if we witness abuse. It’s everyone’s business to stop abuse and help the victims the worst kind of evil is when a good person ignores the actions of a bad one
And I know you see yourself as not possessing good inside you and all narcissists alike but you do you just have to choose to
Your info on empaths is helpful. I’m newer to your site and perhaps you have addressed this before but can you explain more on empaths in relation to narcissist and borderlines which use real, fake or imagined illnesses?
Ev
If you search for ’empath’ you will find carious articles about empaths and this includes the interaction with narcissists.
With regard to borderlines, this is a site, Evelyn, with regard to narcissism and not specifically to borderlines and their dynamics with say for instance illness. If you wish to know about narcissists and illness, please see ‘Sick Of You’.