Manipulated

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You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
The first stage to combatting the narcissist is to understand. Understand what the manipulations are that are used against you and why.
This book will tell you what the most common narcissistic manipulations are and why they are used by the narcissist. Acquire this knowledge and reduce your vulnerability to the narcissist.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.
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18 Comments

  1. Dear Dragonfly,
    Funny, you should mention Ancestory !
    Mr Bubble’s Aunty did a family history for his mum n dads side and presented us with a massive flow chart of all n sundry

    The first thing our kids did, was to look on Facebook … there they were ( all the ones round their age ) that is ……it was a big “no” from our kids (let sleeping dogs lie) …haha
    I think you’re gonna need a third rottweiler 🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
    🤣
    luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Hi Bubbles and Dragonfly,

      Genealogy tree websites show personal information including full name, age, relatives and sometimes addresses. Identity thieves use this to get personal information about living people.
      A relative of mine included me in an online family tree without asking after I went NC with them several years ago. This tree is private/hidden but my name is still listed when I google search for it.

      1. Dear E.B.
        Oooooo …. I don’t like that ! Thank you, E.B. I must admit I was surprised when she included personal information about myself and Mr Bubbles, without our consent ….. the Aunty was handing out the family history to everyone ( like sweets on Halloween), she even stuffed up on some relevant information
        She passed away before I could correct her
        I’ve have had a couple of people search for me on Facebook thru my kids… that was a surprise and I didn’t like that either!
        Thank you again precious for the warning
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Hi Bubbles,
          You are welcome. In your particular case, it was not her intention to harm you. Some people are not aware of the risks of sharing personal information on social media.
          It is different when we are dealing with narcissists, who want to get fuel or punish us. One of my siblings posted family videos on his private YT channel. After he said they had watched them, I asked them to please delete them. But narc GC sibling said ‘no’. She also said she wanted to see our late Matrinarc. This is not true. They have fast internet, They could download those video files in a couple of minutes or copy those files to a DVD. She did it to upset me because I had told her I did not want any contact with her anymore. They use these private videos to make fun of me and get fuel when they allow their YT Subscribers -friends and other relatives- to watch them and make comments.
          They do exactly the opposite to what I ask to maintain their superiority and control. If I did the same to them, they would threaten with litigation for publishing private information without their consent.
          Staying out of social media is not always possible when other people publish personal information about us. They have double standards.

          1. Hello E.B. I believe you nailed that one. I can relate. I prefer privacy and protect it (after I experienced ID theft). It’s not that I have anything to hide, I just believe in all of us making our own choices and staying safe. I am sorry your privacy was violated. In case you are unaware, in many instances you can opt out of appearing on a site by following a sites prescribed process under their privacy policy (such as search data).

            Social media is a different model. When you participate on FB and IG, the fine print states they own the rights to the data you post. Even when you set to private and or retract posts they remain indefinitely on the host database. A similar policy is also true for Google (gmail, calendar, groups, and search), all your data and search history are retained indefinitely.

            WordPress captures our email with each comment. Google has crawled over 75% of all websites, so all content and comments here are kept in their database. If you use gmail your mail and attachments are also retained indefinitely whether you delete them or not. None of this is a big problem unless a database gets hacked (happens often, including FB) and your info ends up on the dark web; or say in divorce, a narc got a subpoena for these records to try and paint you in a disadvantageous light. Only your mind is unhackable. But Mark Zuckerberg announced he wants to breach that barrier too by inventing a mind reading device (google it…or not!).

          2. Hi Privacy,
            Thank you very much for letting me know how our private information can be used by other sites.
            I had not heard about Zuckerberg wanting to have a mind reading device. I do not know much about him. If he is a narcissist, he could be a candidate for HG’s “A Very […] Narcissist” series.

          3. Dear E.B.
            Thank you lovely
            You are right, thankfully there was no harm intended to us
            I’m so sorry to hear about your dilemma, it must be most distressing for you, especially when siblings are being defiant
            Thankyou for alerting us to “what could be” …. otherwise we wouldn’t have known
            To be forewarned is to forearmed
            I sincerely hope the damage they are doing is minimal (it shouldn’t have happened, they should’ve respected your wishes)
            But what narc ever respects our wishes ?
            Thank you again precious
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          4. Hi Bubbles,
            Thank you so much for your kindness and you are right. Narcissists do not respect our wishes, unless they can get something from it. Telling them what we want or do not want can make it worse. We are giving them ammunition to use against us. I particularly find malignant hoovers by a sociopathic woman and her Coterie/Lieutenants next door very distressing and detrimental to my emotional and physical health but not my siblings’ smear campaign and benign hoovers. They live in another country and are paying a big price since I went NC and stop assisting them with their company and other matters.

          5. Dearest E.B.
            Thank you gorgeous
            I’m sorry if I’ve missed something …. but how is your “neighbour” involved … if you don’t mind me asking
            If it’s too stressful … that’s ok, I totally understand
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          6. Hello Bubbles,
            Sorry I did not respond earlier and thank you for asking. Yes, it can be stressful to think and write about certain incidents.
            When I had the courage to share about it, it was a painful experience. I wrote about what I *saw* and described the hostile *behaviour* (not perceptions) of a group of people who have been turned against me. I was told that it could not have happened, as if implying it was my perception. This is gaslighting and I felt it was insulting.
            Even though I did not marry an abuser, I was not in a romantic relationship with a narcissist and I do not have empathy or compassion for everybody (but only for some), it would not cross my mind to gaslight others by telling them the abusive behaviour they *saw* could not have happened.
            There are people, who view themselves as open-minded and empathetic but they believe that if they have not experienced a particular type of abuse, it does not exist. Some narcissists I have met are more open-minded and understanding that those without a Cluster B disorder.

  2. Ah, I have a tale to tell. I just received today the most gigantic line of sh*t from a narc, clearly, through Ancestry . . . a man seeking his biological family. One cannot make this shit up! Targeting empathys in your DNA/Bioligical line! Of course we are distantly related on my maternal side . . . thank God I didn’t give this guy my address but with technology who knows? He may have a location device! Suddenly I want 2 rottweilers now instead of just one!
    The student always seeks out the teacher and HG, I honor your wit and finesse. No one can take that away from you. You taught me well. Thank you. Only you can fill in the lines to the rest of the story. Ancestry.com, what next??

  3. Hey H.G. I have a couple of your books on my Kindle unlimited account and I tried to review them but it didn’t come up. Sorry. I did try.

    1. Hi Marina,
      I do not have Kindle unlimited. My reviews were about books I had bought but as far as I know, reviews for KI products are allowed too. If your review breaches Amazon’s Community Guidelines such as including an external link to this blog, Amazon will let you know so you can edit your review and submit it again. I would have a look at your Spam folder.

      1. I know you are denied leaving a review on Amazon unless you have spent $50 (can’t remember in what timeframe). That will affect those who bought books previous and are now trying to go back to review. I wonder if this includes unlimited because it is under that amount. You would have to check the rules.

        1. NA,
          All my book reviews have been approved and published. Amazon has always been fair to me. I had not heard about the $50, though.

          1. EB
            I bought most of the books very early on and no problem but when I tried to leave a review for NarcTales I was unanle to and this was the response from them that I received. Not sure when it was applied.

          2. NA,
            Thank you for letting us know about this new rule. I have just found this:
            “Eligibility – To contribute to Customer features (for example, Customer Reviews, Customer Answers, Idea Lists) or to follow other contributors, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months. Promotional discounts don’t qualify towards the $50 minimum. In addition, to contribute to Spark you must also have a paid Prime subscription (free Prime trials do not qualify).”
            Source: Community Guidelines
            https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=201929730

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