Poll : What Do You Believe The Narcissist To Be?
You know from reading my work that there are varying schools and cadres of narcissist which encompasses those individuals who are unaware of what they are and bowl through life like an out of control wrecking ball wreaking havoc and destruction and not casting a backwards glance. Others of our kind are charming, apparently pleasant and kind, yet behind that facade there is always someone who is suffering. Some of our kind are high achievers, ruthless leaders and bold pioneers who always get their way, no matter what the cost to others but as ever, the end justifies the means. Others of the brethren always grab the limelight, are show-offs and prone to bold boasts. There are those who are passive aggressive, sniping from the side lines, scurrying here and there as they play the “always the victim, it’s never their fault” card because people are just downright horrible to them despite their best efforts to please and help others. These are but some of the manifestations of our kind. Yes, we come in a variety of “flavours”.
But what do you actually think we are? In the comments sections across my various platforms I see reference to the fact that we are actually an alien life form that has somehow blended in with humans, not quite able to replicate humans but doing a convincing job a lot of the time. Some suggest we are also victims, people who have suffered in a way similar to way that we make other people suffer. There is a begrudging respect for the brilliance we can exhibit but tempered with the caveats for the price that is paid for staring at the sun for too long. Views range from possession by demons or dark spirits through to a toddler in an adult’s body.
What is your view? You may choose as many as you deem applicable from the list below before casting your vote and as usual, do furnish me with your interesting and articulate views in the comments section.
Thank you for participating.
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Ohhhh! Can only tick ONE on the poll. Damn. I wanted to go crazy and select many!! Yet I applied my understanding, using my empathy. And selected appropriately.
I think every narcissist has his or her own reasons some are just spoiled brats and the others on the spectrum are tortured by abuse and it’s a form of survival mode that they are trapped in
The whole alien thing is a bit far fetched but narcissists primarily function emotionally with the reptilian part of the brain adds to the reference snake in the grass the spectrum of narcissism is quite varied I don’t think it can be put into one box same as empathetic people the reason vary
A (pathological) narcissist is someone with a thwarted ‘authentic self’ that is buried underneath rigid, self-punishing defence mechanisms that need to be compensated/’fed’ by the adoration or fear of others (to balance their intrapsychic splitting between grandiose and worthless false selves), in order to regulate self-esteem.
They have not only primary narcissism (which we all have), but evolved secondary narcissism, where the self-reflective function reflects only itself (cannot identify with separate others), and assimilates what is ‘useful’ from others, disregarding the rest.
It is also a pathological kind of cynicism, because to a narcissist who cannot help but project themselves onto their surroundings (‘they are always in the same position’)—everyone is motivated by selfishness and trust only exposes them to being taken advantage of.
It’s very shallow, but one can see how it is built on a type of survival adaptation that minimises risk. There are more sacrifices than rewards though, the problem is, because a narcissist is not very in touch with their feelings, they can deny the sacrifice. Attention distracts from their pain, like a drug.
I chose 4:
1. An emotionally stunted individual- -the last one. Mid range alcoholic victim. Dxed with NPD, probably co-morbid with histrionic and/or more. Showed multiple patterns. Truly, my eye opener to the entire business of narcissism. He checked ALLL the boxes. Convicted
2. A malevolent individual that reveled in malice — the sadistic sociopath, possible mid, very little emotional output other than rage. A cold emotionless fuck-face. I never knew people could be this evil, until I married him. Convicted
3. Capable of brilliance and impressive achievement — the upper prick. Secured fame and fortune for himself. Cares nothing for his offspring except for how it helps him. Devious, reckless, highly manipulative. Pathological liar. Serial cheater. Low to no morals. My first husband.
4. Victim — all of them, sadly
At ONE TIME they were victims, but once they’ve acquired their 1st victim, they are NO LONGER VICTIMS. It’s not 2 victims in the entanglement, there’s a PERPETRATOR, the person’s inflicting the pain, & a VICTIM, the person suffering from the inflicted pain.
OMG look at those compassionate empathic votes. Personally I clicked over half of the boxes. I understand the trauma the narc went through but his adaptation made him such an asshole. I’m grateful that he’s not as smart as he thinks he is and is apparently starting to lose his hair. For those still in the thick of it, I assure you the universe will eventually work in your defense.
HG, I had a dream with you in it…sort of. I dreamed that 2 rich guys were trying to seduce me at once. LOL (I am not kidding.) Surprisingly, it wasn’t a very fun dream because they were both acting in strange ways, trying to impress me with various material things and patronizing comments but I could see through it.
Then I told myself I would need to consult with HG to get to the bottom of this, but lo and behold they don’t exist.
I think one other time you appeared in my dream but your face resembled an Amish doll.
Lay off the shrooms Bibi!
Bahahahahahaha! I wish!
Haha!
Hahaha
Lol!!!
My favorite part was “patronizing comments”.
Bibi is an empath.
Hahahahahahaha… omg…That is funny! I’m crying..
Haven’t been here for awhile. Glad to see a poll (and take it) A nice re-entry to narcville and also curious way to see how I feel (errr think) about narcissism.
Hi Tappan Zee. I have thought on you and its nice to see you back.
HG, do you typically answer your emails with 4 words, no introduction or sign off?
No.
Narc noob
Have you experienced that with someone you suspect to be a narc? I ask because it reminded me of something.
NA. I remember when I got s text like this….remember? 3 words….no punctuation….you on vacation… pissed me off. You told me it was because he felt I wasn’t worthy of more energy. He was just looking to see if I was available since he couldn’t find me.
Kim E
I do remember. It also reminded me of someone at work that used to fo that. I wondered if it was more common than I thought.
NA, the succinct and to the point, yes. I also received one from HG that said *hacking doesn’t gain fuel* after I inquired about my narc
Perhaps HG does it on occasion. I asked does it typically occur, so maybe no means just a few times?
Yes, 4-5 words at tops is pretty normal for 2 MRN I know
Narc Noob
Interesting. Thank you for responding.
Darren,
Your story is great to hear for some of us still slogging through our own stuff. Thank-you for sharing and good luck moving forward with your career.
My answers come from experience and knowledge I’ve gained. Your work helped me instantly dismiss old smears with calm truth. Usually what follows are specific descriptions of the narcissist in my mind, as well as how they hit several walls. I acknowledge it and barely react, just repeat the truth about what happened with me. If they pry, I go dry. No fuelin’, no foolin’. Conversation done, narcissists disappointed.
So here’s a good drop of stranger-fuel. A massive coincidence happened with my start of consuming your information. As of now I’m 8 years sober, and I GOSO on those who(m) I see those traits too quickly. Because I’m telling calm truths about those who quickly maliced me out of my chosen career, many former colleagues have confirmed their behaviours. Coincidentally those narcissists, WITH their worst lieutenants, were ALL dismissed from their “well-earned” high positions on the same day. One had hoovered me a decade after my career finally sank, and this mass-clearance had happened only a month after the inevitable, and particularly painful, discard. Fast-forward a year or so, my own issues were finally diagnosed, and several youtube suggestions brought me your work. Having learned from you and their former coworkers almost simultaneously, that pain disappeared. I am currently re-establishing the career that had first been denied, and they can do “fuel-all” about it.
Because I had to learn my own issues, I became objective to how narcissists have a vulnerable flipside to hide at all costs. Only because of how sick I was then, I’m now able to understand how sick a narcissist really may be, and G(the F)OSO if sense it.
Thank you HG,
Darren
Well done Darren and you are welcome.
Darren
Welcome and congratulations on your sobriety. Your comment was a bright spot. I hope you decide to stay and share some of your experiences and perhaps the coping techniques you are using to effect success.