I do so enjoy being kind. I want to shower you with acts of generosity, concern and kindness when I first meet you. You are so special and only I can really see that that is the case. Other people have tried to crush the warmth and love inside you, trampling on your like some rare and delicate flower. Not me. I want to pick you and place you inside a jar, shielded from the toxicity of the world. I can nourish you, water you and let you enjoy the warmth from the light than shines from me. I can sense that you have been let down and hurt before. You do not deserve that. Someone as wonderful as you, someone as delicate and giving as you deserves far better. You can rest now though. The search is over. You have found me. I will take care of you now. Nothing will ever trouble you again. I will do so much for you and why not? I am blessed to have found you, but do you know what? We deserve one another. I have been looking for someone like you all my life, someone who I can dedicate myself to. A person I can protect, love and make happy. That is all I have ever wanted. I know I am surrounded by these trappings of success, that I am in demand from many people who want to be involved with me and share my radiance. It is flattering and humbling at the same time. I am not interested in any of that however. I just want to share my life with someone who I can cherish and worship. Now I can.
(The Mid Range Narcissist thinks he cares and has sufficient cognitive empathy to use the words and gestures to convey what appears to be a caring, protective mindset. Note the repeated returns to self (glimpses of grandiosity) as the MRN appears as some kind of white knight, a saviour, a shielding angel, but then that is waved away by supposed humility, although this is false humility. The MRN instinctively recognises that the victim has most likely suffered before (thus this target is easier to seduce) and can select the right words to appear compassionate, caring and decent. There is no reference to partnership, to equality – the MRN truly thinks he is the saviour and is a decent individual. He believes he cares (although he does not) and he sees an opportunity to continue his ‘good works’ but the victim is just a project in the grand scheme of the MRN, an object which is being brought under control through words and supposed compassion. The MRN is infatuated with the victim because he believes he has found someone he can invest in and that his needs (although he does not know what they truly are) will now be met. He has high hopes indeed for this person.
I know you have walked a hard and winding road. Those scuffed boots you wear, with holes and the sole hanging off bear testament to that. Not once have you complained of course. That is not your way. You need not take another step though because I will carry you. I will lift you up and with one firm foot planted in front of the other I will carry you away and onwards towards our joint destination. It is a wonderful place. I will whisper in your ear as I carry you and tell you all about how I have made this beautiful paradise. I have created it just for you and I. It is our sanctuary where nobody can find us and nobody can harm us. Sounds idyllic doesn’t it?
(The MRN continues his extension of gallant knight. He instinctively recognises the dedicated nature of this victim, someone who puts other before themselves and instinctively this appeals to his need to take, take, take – however he does not recognise this and believes that he is being a good, kind person by offering to take the burden away from the victim. This however is control. The victim is being denied the choice to struggle on, to make their own decisions. Though the gesture appears noble, it is actually placing the victim in chains. Further, the whispers of a promised land a sanctuary again reaffirms in the MRN’s mind that he is doing a good deed when actually he is spinning the illusion to ensnare the victim and it shows how the victim is about to be isolated from support networks and indeed their own self-reliance ‘You don’t need anybody but me, I have a sanctuary just for us.’ It sounds special but it is actually a prison.)
I want to soothe your fevered brow, I want to hold your hand when you are frightened and I want to see you smile because of me. I want to be the first person you see when you wake up and the last person you see before you fall asleep. I want to love you, care for you, hold you and protect you. I will fetch and carry for you, I will crawl over broken glass just to hand you a cup of water to quench your thirst.
(More poetic gallantry designed to overwhelm the victim who can finally give up the last vestiges of control conned by this supposed saviour. Note the repeated use of want – this shows the MRN’s absolute slavish dedication to having his needs met, but it is obscured behind a sheen of apparent care and compassion. Once again this shows the absolute need and desire (unconsciously) for control and isolation of the victim. The narcissist wants to do everything for the victim (easy to say now, but won’t be maintained through actions beyond the golden period) which is actually about making the victim reliant on the narcissist and isolated from any potential external interferences that will eradicate the control the narcissist needs.)
I want you to feel bombarded by my innate kindness, swamped by my good nature and overwhelmed by my fair intentions. I want to deliver to you every minute of every day my warmth and kindness so that it becomes all you know.
(Further apparent beautiful intentions but this is actually demonstrating how the narcissist wishes to absorb, conquer and overwhelm the victim. The victim becomes paralysed by apparent kindness only to surrender any notion of free will. From this point onwards there would be nothing more said by the MRN in this seductive speech which represents his or her overall mindset. The words that follow are what the narcissist is unconsciously thinking and if said out loud would likely generate concern as they are red flags, of course, emotional thinking would likely be so high the red flags would be ignored.)
I want you to become dependent on my charity, my largesse and my generosity.
(Your dependence makes you easier to control. I own you. You are an object. This is what the MRN unconsciously thinks.)
I want you to become hopelessly addicted to my love, my desire and my presence.
(Your addiction imprisons you.)
I want to see myself in your eyes and nothing else.
(Control and grandiosity through omnipotence)
I want to hear my words spoken by your tongue. I want you to mimic everything that I do so that when I point, you point and when I nod, you nod.
(You are my puppet now.)
I want my campaign of kindness to obliterate every semblance of what you once were. I want to destroy what once existed and replace it with my design and my desires.
(You are mine now. The old you is gone.)
I want to murder who you were and resurrect my creation in your place. I want to kill you with kindness.