There’s Nothing Good To Watch
You are my television. At first you broadcast all my favourite shows which I binge watch one after the other. I stare at the screen with avid enthusiasm relishing what is being provided for me to watch. I follow every development in the plot and I eagerly anticipate the next episode. I discuss what is being shown with all and sundry, delighted with the standard of output. I am so fortunate to have happened on your channel. It is as if everything you show has been written specifically for me. I cannot believe how much I happen to love everything you show. After a while however the shows start to lose their allure and become stale. This does not take long. I flick onto other channels and find shows there which are much more my kind of thing. I delve deep into these new shows finding them fascinating. I rarely return to your channel and when I do it is just to deride your output and take pleasure in pouring scorn on what you are broadcasting. In fact, I derive more enjoyment from criticising your shows than appreciating them. Eventually I stop watching your channel altogether as I am enveloped by what is being shown on several other channels (I have worked out that I am best served by having several channels on the go at once, jumping between them to heighten my enjoyment). A little while later I will decide that I don’t need your show and I don’t want the television on which I watched it. To distance myself completely from you I will go and by a new television. After all I can always get a better television can’t I?
18 thoughts on “There’s Nothing Good To Watch”
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You have no idea how much I loathe self righteous bible thumpers! She can gnaw on her worthless bread. There is no medical benefit to eating whole grains unless you need fuel for exercise.
This is my favorite analogy about the narc cycle so far and hits it dead on. It explains it exact. We are just appliances to be used for entertainment. Thats where the lack of real human connection comes in to play. We are not people with feelings or dreams we are things. Acquired things to be used for entertainment. Its sad but true.
The perfect analogy for our understanding as to why you do what you do and where you lay the blame. That you continue to do it however……
Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results points to a different conclusion. More specifically in your case, given that you are intelligent and aware.
I do understand however that you wrote this in general terms for your kind and not as specific to you.
Dear Mr Tudor,
That’s a bit sad …. so, I’m basically on old vintage box that’s not even worth turning on or taking a sneak peek at 📺
🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Yes hg you’re right we are doing whatever we can to get attention from you all too bad we never get it
HG,
is it a sign of a devaluation in intimate relationship with Mid Range narcissist if after a few weeks of golden period there is no longer “you are perfect, we are perfect, everything you do, we do is perfect”, instead there are circular lenghty arguments about little nothings that lead to absent silent treatment that last a few hours or a few days? During these silent treatments he is waiting for your move to come to him and if you don’t he starts to hoover inderectly – instead of calling you and saying “hey, I’m sorry, it was stupid, let’s forget about it or lets solve this problem like adults” he waits and posts a love song or something about reconciliation and still is waiting for your move if you catch the hook? If you don’t come running, if you don’t give fuel and ignore him he can change his tactics and start to triangulate by flirting with others, if this doesn’t work then his manipulation method can change once again and can post a love poem or anything like that – everything indirect to make you contact him first or at least to make you to give him a sign that you think about him too – for example you also post a love song. This tells him that you won’t wound him and he can finally contact you. Of course there is no problem solving or sincere apologies. He just wants you to forgive and forget (and blame yourself a little bit about you being immature, childish and stubborn). And if you finally reconcile it is golden for a few days and then another argument and another silent treatment and another hoover. Is it devaluation?
I suspect you are an IPSS and these are Corrective Devaluations. I need to have more information to understand the context of your relationship and therefore you ought to organise a consultation with me.
I love this one HG! Everything about it -the picture and the writing! Bravo….😂
Hello, H.G. Tudor.
Today I’ve given up thinking.!!!!
You know that I usually spend some time thinking about how the narcissist acts the golden period and the subsequent devaluation or dark period.
And I have come to the following conclusion.
The narcissist when he starts the seduction of the main IPPS is simply an illusion, he pretends and plays this game. He pretends because he doesn’t have, nor can he feel this kind of feelings. During this
time, the narcissist focuses all his attention, with the creation of excessive flattery, excessive coexistence, gifts, pretended affection, interest in us. To get through them our positive emotional attention. It is like snapping our fingers in front of our face, so that we pay our true emotional attention to him again. This Golden Period will only last until the victim or IPPS is totally embedded. When this happens the Dark Period will begin.
I have wondered many times what is the fuel, emotional thought and why is it produced or does the narcissist need this emotional thought? For me emotional attention or fuel is the emotional reaction caused by the narcissist through his actions. Every action has a reaction. This reaction that we project towards the narcissist and by the narcissist is emotional attention. It is like snapping your fingers in front of your face so that you pay attention only and exclusively to the Narcissist.
Why can the narcissist produce these reactions in us and extract the fuel? Simply because in the golden period he has mirrored us seducing us successfully, this is why we love him, we love them, we want them. And he achieves his end, to be the object of our desire, which he has created fictitiously during the addictive golden period, producing in us Erotomania.
*Erotomania: Erotomania is “the delirious hallucination of feeling loved”. The erotomaniac usually chases the person he feels loved by. He can get to aggression if he feels rejected by the object he believes loves him.
Why does the Golden Period end? As HG rightly says, the Golden Period ends for several reasons. The first is the lack of this emotional attention and, on the other hand, the weariness of this type of positive fuel. Trust breeds contempt. From my point of view, there is also another great reason. And this is the sadistic and malicious narcissistic thought, their distrust of this kind of positive attention. The narcissist obtains with great effort and energy consumption this positive fuel, but as we know.
The narcissist comes to think about a moment which is the cause of this drop in the production of positive fuel? and begins his narcissistic reasoning and to ask himself questions and answer them according to his logic. Entering into an inner and even unconscious narcissistic dialogue.
Because the fuel is less and I see it descending? Because he doesn’t love me. And if he doesn’t love me, because I have to spend so much energy and pour so much time and effort on this person.
Will my IPPS be deceiving me and playing with my feelings as I do with her?
Will my IPPS really be embedded?
This thought is reflected in a Spanish proverb, masterfully. “The thief thinks that all are of his condition”
Meaning: Denotes the ease with which we think or suspect that others are or act like us, especially when it comes to bad actions or aptitudes.
That’s when the devaluation begins, to get the fuel you really want by getting it in a crooked and sadistic way. In Spain there is another saying that reflects this also in a masterly way, and says: Loves fought, are the most loved. Their actions and devaluations make the IPPS suffer in a sadistic way, demonstrating their interest in the narcissist by reacting to the manipulations of the narcissist, demonstrating that love is true. Subsuming the victim in his world, manipulating him, and punishing him again and again in a twisted way to get the fuel, emotional attention (the affection and sincere interest in the narcissist, seeing them that they really suffer because of them and their manipulations and devaluations and triangulations. We could say, that the narcissist has a concept of love and twisted affection, they do not want or appreciate the positive fuel, because it is projected towards them in a natural way by the empathic. And, on the other hand, they may think that this affection is false, just as they do.
Many of the devaluations, manipulations and triangulations are necessary for its revaluation as an object of desire, elevating the ego of the narcissist. Really if we analyze the narcissistic theme deeply, it is really an intimate relationship between the narcissist and his victim alone. For the fact that the narcissist only moves and punishes his victim in order to obtain the fuel that is nothing more than the love and affections of his victim. If it is true that he triangulates and manipulates the scene, but it is strange to observe that the victim will always be aware of these triangulations because the narcissist wants you to know about them. To punish you in a sadistic way and get and prove that you are still in love with her. In many cases we could say that the narcissist loves to be loved, but in a deformed and twisted way because he can not love anyone. There are even these triangulations, devaluations and mistreatments towards his IPPS obtaining the fuel from them under his control. They lead to powerful feelings. If we take into account that narcissists always have some kind of sexual dysfunction or paraphilia. That prevent you from having a full sexual life, they need these practices to achieve a possible erection. The mixture of the power obtained from the fuel of your IPPS and your paraphilia achieve, elevate what does not rise naturally. It is for this reason that they do not usually have sex with their IPPS, since this sex is not satisfactory to them.
Perfect appliance/fuel analogy of the narcissist’s experiential viewpoint!
Unfortunately, the brain chemistry of the empath during the binge, combined with inherent trust and hope, blind them to the reality of the situation. If not empowered with the knowledge imparted here, the binge/purge cycle will continue with another ‘TV viewer’.
Hi HG,
I hope all is well! My covert narcissist ex of 6 years [who’s 33 and left me for a much less attractive 22 year old, mind you.] just wished me a happy birthday via social media after not being in contact with me for a month and a half. However, I recently [a few weeks ago] saw him at a salsa dance night in town and he ignored me but was watching me as I danced. And, then left suddenly afterwards without saying a word. What is your interpretation of it all?
Thanks so much for your insight!
Warmly,
Crystal
1. The Happy Birthday was a benign hoover.
2. Watching you was a passive hoover. He did not approach you as a direct physical hoover was too risky for him to undertake.
If you want to understand more about this I recommend you book an email consultation so I can receive more information.
A really nice metaphoric illustration of so many elements of the dynamic.
I’ve come to believe that as long as people can’t walk away from someone who “doesn’t like them” /aka-“doesn’t treat them well”/ignores them.. narcissists will thrive.
My entanglement has shown me my pattern for becoming attached to getting love/validation from people that are not going to provide it. The irony is that love/approval disconnect is kind of what created the narcissist?
Logically I know the person is a bad bad choice and get me to feel bad about myself-
yet I continue to want their validation and approval. And I think it fascinates me that the narcissist can just flip the switch and doesn’t give a damn. And when we’re in the pain of the entanglement or discard- we (at least I did) kind of envy that coldness.
Ahh -the endless mind twister… I’ve started thinking much much less about it and I feel happier for it.
Kate! I so needed this to know I’m not the only one! I seek validation where it is vacant. Two nights ago I was feeling really shut down by a woman I work with. (I was stuck sitting with her for four long hours due to my particular task.) First, she tried to shut down my discussion of a certain dietary trajectory that is simply awesome for our diabetic patients. (She is not medical, but clerical..) She said it was unhealthy not to have whole grains. I was annoyed—rubbish food pyramid logic that has half of America in trouble. I’m qualified to teach nutrition and I’m listening to this bullshit. I corrected her with research politely which wasn’t necessary but I do have moments of passion for correct information. She was rather chilly enough before this.. It occurred to me she likely has little tolerance for a “know it all” morally adrift (divorcee) know it all because she is always exerting her Jesus thumping superiority.. I was trying to warm up when it wasn’t welcome—not ever again. It was familiar to me—I’ve done it before. Seeking approval from the emotionally vacant. She and her one man touched vagina can go f#** on her frugal Sears bought 10-year box spring warrantied mattress with(admittedly soft) Martha Stewart Kmart bought sheets bed and let me know how it compares to getting properly laid over a chair. Whatever. I don’t have to read scripture after a good chair throttle so there..
Claire
Haha, one man touched vagina. Also, you shouldn’t have kept that last line to yourself. Sharing is caring.
This is an excellent analogy.