A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 29

Good guy,

Men who use the internet to scope out innocent victims are cowards. You can shape who and what you are in a very deceitful way in order to force someone to love you. To make me think that our connection is something special. You meticulously brainwashed me through a screen to get what you wanted. You told me what kind of  woman I was going to be, and I was to continue being that woman even after you changed.  Unfortunately for you, I was not going to be that fuel you desired for the rest of your life. I bet you felt a sense of ease when we first met, finally, no more searching. I’ve found the one that will accept me because I do nothing wrong! What a let down it must have been for you to realize I was not the doormat you envisioned me to be. A let down that you have already gotten over.

It’s a sick game. Love, being loved, loving someone else is a game to you. It’s a game you will never win. The only winners are the women who get as far away from you as possible and never look back. I needed more security than a few words after you cheated and lied. I needed something called actions but you were always too fuel focused to give me what I needed. Not that my needs would ever be important to you. You were so good at making them seem important. I came to realize how that amazing connection we had in the beginning was nothing. You can get that connection from anyone. I am not special to you. What we had was never special.

You are not a husband, never a friend, and a horrible father to my son. You can forget your image of being a “good” guy. You can shove your dream of ever having a green card in America to escape England from your past, friends, and family up your arse!! I know none of that even matters to you right now, because you are getting supply from other women, family and fake friends that feel bad for you. Once it runs out I will be stronger. So thank you for ignoring me. Thank you for leaving and doing shitty mistakes a “good” guy would never do. I now realize that if it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else. I have dated them in the past. You were by far the worst. Because of your complete change in personality I was able to pinpoint exactly who and what you are to avoid. My focus is me and only me. You are now dead to me, our memories mean nothing. I am discovering a new love and that’s called self love. One you will never experience. And I’m glad because it leaves me knowing you will always suffer. You will never be apart of the new and better me.

Sincerely,

Not the one