A Dark Angel
I am regarded as a bad person. In fact, bad would be considered somewhat mild and I have been on the receiving end of epitaphs of “evil”, “satanic”, “malevolent” and “hell’s representative on earth”. None of those labels have bothered me in the slightest. Is that because they are true and I am content to acknowledge what my behaviour amounts to? Perhaps. The greater truth is that they were all delivered coated in emotion, dripping with fuel and the person hurling what they perceived as an insult at me was doing quite the contrary. They thought they were striking me down, belittling me and hurting me when they were just making me all the more powerful. But they were not to know this were they? Very, very few people actually understand why my kind behave as we do. Oh those who have the misfortune (their word) to entangle with my kind know all about our behaviours. They will sit you down and spend all day cataloguing every despicable deed, each aggressive act and all those malicious moments as if they were reading from a diary. That is how etched on people’s minds we become, how we infect their hearts and poison their souls. I know because I know what I do. I know because you show me how it affects you and you certainly do plenty of telling me (as well as anybody else who listens) because that is how embedded we become. We appear coruscating and shining and then we maim, cripple and injure. You know better than anybody else how it affects you but you rarely understand. How could you? You have no idea who you are dealing with. We do not appear with the letter N branded on our foreheads as a warning (although I suspect even if we did some people would still fall prey to us). You do not know what has wrapped its tendrils around you and you cannot be expected to know. It is not your fault although we will spend all of the devaluation and beyond telling you that it is. Those of our kind do think everything is your fault. They are programmed to think nothing else. I am worse. I know it is not your fault but the maintenance of blame is key to the upholding of control and the continuance of my dominance and therefore I will readily apply that which I know to be false in order to achieve what must be achieved. Again, you would not know this and whether you have become entangled with a Lesser, Mid-Range or Greater of our kind you become ensconced in trying to make us see, make us understand and achieve some kind of breakthrough. It is nigh on impossible. The Lesser is not programmed to accept it. You are trying to put a video cassette in a Blue-Ray player. It just will not operate. The Mid-Range must apply fault because he knows it provides him with a defence. The Greater of us understand what you are saying and know you are right but we will not accept it because we must remain superior.
Those you turn to for assistance do not understand either. Well-meaning family and friends struggle enormously to grasp what has happened. This is because they cannot comprehend someone can actually behave that way and it becomes easier to think you are the one with the problem, that you are over-tired, stressed (hell of course you are because we made you that way) and you are imagining things, mis-remembering and so forth. They do not want to become involved because that means trying to fathom it out and it is too hard. It also means shattering the façade we have created and it is so much easier to keep it intact and point to exhaustion/drink/drugs/hysteria and so on than grapple with understanding there is such a thing as a narcissist who love-bombs then abuses in the blink of an eye? Even those who do try to understand become jaded with the unrelenting news feed of abhorrent aberrations that you detail on a daily basis. Plus, people are ultimately too wrapped up in their own lives. Who would credit it? Selfishness from us and from them keeps you trapped.
Professionals offer some insight in varying degrees although few have actually experienced it and it is only those who have done so who can truly relate the full horror and the unrivalled brain-mashing, mindfuckery, soul-destroying rollercoaster ride of being entangled with us. Seeing is believing. The absence of truly experiencing what it means to be ensnared by us means that explanations fall victim to conjecture, theory and speculation.
This is where my good job arises. I am a bad man but I am doing a good, not a great job, by conveying to you why we do as we do, why we say as we say and allowing you to take on board this information and applying it as you see fit. This is not done as an altruistic act; such a concept is anathema to me. I have my own agenda and my own aims to achieve as a consequence of this sharing of knowledge. It also appeals to my malevolent outlook by empowering you, those who have suffered with our kind for so long, with the knowledge and tools to fight back. It entertains me to think that the provision of my information is causing consternation and mayhem amongst our kind as you, the empathic victims move on, fight back and progress. I owe my brethren no loyalty. It is one for one and damn the all. My methods are my methods are my methods. The useful consequence of my actions however is that finally you start to gain understanding. You realise what makes us tick. You finally realise that we operate to our own reality and our own logic. You realise how we see things and therefore it finally makes sense even though it does not make sense – if you see what I mean.
You grasp that it was an illusion. You understand it is lie upon lie upon lie. You realise why that was said, this was done and why it keeps on continuing. It still makes no sense to you from your perspective but then you begin to realise why to us it makes sense and that is why we do it. You understand that it is not about winning the battle but never fighting the battle to begin with because the odds are always in our favour. We make the rules, choose the rules, break the rules and remove the rules. It still takes time for it all to filter through and click into place but when it does – well, the effect is significant. The phrases you have heard so many times take on a new meaning. The actions which left you bewildered, hurt and confused now only hurt. You understand why we want you mired in emotion. It still takes you time to plough through that emotional sea but at least you now realise why you were thrown into it. Myths are dispelled, incorrect assumptions are crushed and you are given the very thing by which we operate and by which we succeed – cool, hard logic.
There is so much to convey to you. So much to detail from how we come into being, what we are trying to achieve, what we are seeking to keep at bay, why we keep doing what we do, why change doesn’t happen, why we choose you, why we never let go and so much more. All of it will be provided to you. It is brutal, it hurts and it is uncomfortable but then haven’t you had enough of the sugar-coated crap? Now it is time to swallow the harsh truth because that is what will ultimately set you free, that and your application of it to your own circumstances.
So, this is what I do. I write. I detail. I convey. I illuminate. You can keep seeing me as evil, bad and hellish. By all means, that is your choice, but I know you understand, at least most of you do, that this bad man is doing a good job. If you keep reading, keep asking and keep digesting, you will achieve your desired outcome.
All the errors, mistakes and failures you have committed and experienced can now be consigned to history as you embark on a different chapter towards your eventual freedom. No longer will you be hindered my misunderstanding, hampered by confusion and mired in the wrong answers. For too long you have been led up the garden path, taken in circles and made the wrong decisions based on erroneous understandings. That was because you didn’t have me. After all, it takes a wrong doer to show you that you are doing wrong.
120 thoughts on “A Dark Angel”
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Excellent work. Thanks for sharing HG.
Yin and Yang.
My guardian angel is Samael.
The picture reminds me of him.
This comment is going to be messy. I listened to ‘A Dark Angel’ on YouTube the other night. Something about it doesn’t sit well with me at all and there could be numerous reasons why that’s the case.
HG describes himself as a bad man doing good things, words to that effect. I know that I am a good person. So comparatively, how do I know that I am good and HG is bad? I understand that good and bad are matters of perspective. Could it not be the case then that HG is predominantly a good man who has done bad things and his own perspective / view of himself is actually incorrect?
If I look at my own belief of myself as being good. I haven’t killed anyone but I have hurt people, not physically but emotionally. I’m honest, I struggle to lie, I really really struggle to lie, yet I have lied and, in the correct set of circumstances would do so again. I’m honest but have stolen sun cream for kicks as a young adult, and a lip balm the following day haha! I found it exciting, I found it so exciting that I repeated this behaviour several times before I had a conversation with myself which said ‘Careful, you enjoy this a little too much!’ I stopped after that. I have never cheated on a partner, not once, so I’m loyal. I have discarded friends though and for no apparent reason either. So, not that loyal then. In summary we could say I lie, Im disloyal and I steal, and those are just the first examples that spring to mind. At least I’m honest about it, obviously, because I’m a good person. I still believe I am a good person, that’s the thing. What I tend to do is give a reason for my bad behaviours. My belief is that I’m good, bad behaviours don’t fit that view of myself so I reject them as essentially outliers and maintain my virtuous core belief.
Perhaps being good or bad is based on how often we do good and bad things. You cross a threshold and you go to the bad side or the good side? Is it based on the number of times I steal or number of people I hurt perhaps? A goodness ratio, each event scoring a positive or negative point? Perhaps I could have a 360 degree appraisal. Base my view on what other people think of me and my good and bad deeds.
Is goodness or evil based on intent? I intend to hurt, steal, withhold emotion etc therefore I am bad. What if I only ever hurt one person in my entire life but I truly intended to do it and was pleased I did? Am I still a good person? What constitutes hurt or harm? How hurtful do I need to be exactly before I teeter over into bad person territory?
Really, I can’t objectively say I am a good person then. I can’t say because I don’t know the parameters and no one showed me the grading system. I also admit I have a tendency to reject behaviours / experiences that don’t fit my view of myself.
Similarly, I’m not convinced HG is correct in describing himself as a bad person. I don’t think he can objectively say that either. If things were based on how many people We both helped or saved there’s no comparison, HG has done more good in the world than I have. I suspect he has also done more harm. I suspect also he has killed, I have not. I win there. Yet, soldiers kill in war and are not considered to be bad men when they return home, quite the opposite in fact. The end result remains the same though, a life is still taken.
I could go into way more detail, argue both sides effectively as to the nature of intent, culpability, circumstance and so on but I still don’t believe I could say confidently that HG is a bad man. A man who has done some outstandingly shitty things to his various IPPS yes. A man who is mentally competent to understand those things are wrong in the eyes of the majority, yet in some ways morally impaired through core emotions that feed into morality being absent. A man that has saved hundreds and thousands of people from mental and physical abuse even though this is not the prime motivator behind what he does. Does that count for nothing? It still has to count for something surely?
I do know also that Cluster B personalities have a range of Early Maladaptive Schemas, schemas essentially being the way that we view ourselves. These schemas are largely down to the environment we grow up in as children. So for example, if you are told on a repeated basis through childhood that you are bad, evil, or “There’s something not right with you.” then in adulthood, you are very likely to have an array of negative schemas reflecting these ideas. In short, you are likely to view yourself in a negative light in these aspects. Every bad behaviour you carry out will serve to reinforce the negative schema. This isn’t to say that HG hasn’t done bad things but rather, every bad thing he does serves to reinforce the core belief, ‘I am bad’. He is likely to explain away / downplay the good things he does as they don’t fit his core view of himself. Essentially, he might do similar to me but in the opposite direction. I rule out negative behaviours that don’t fit my positive schema of being a good person. HG rules out positive behaviours that don’t fit his negative schema of being a bad person.
I do think intent is key to the question. I still can’t conclude that HG describing himself as‘a bad man’ is correct though. It irks and irritates. Instinctively I reject the statement, it feels like nails down a chalkboard. So that reaction has to be based on something somewhere. I’ve considered ET, not that, I’m really not that defensive of HG, he can defend himself if he needs to. My ET has been consistently low for months. I think it’s the moral question that bothers me, the fact that when looking at the evidence, I still can’t feel confident in my opinion one way or the other. Not that my opinion matters to HG, his view will remain unchanged. Any conflicting view would be rejected as it doesn’t fit with his own schema.
I’m fast coming to the opinion that our awareness of reality is almost entirely subjective and worse, not even under our own control.
Twilight
I have almost given up on reading other articles, simply because of how inaccurate they are. Drives me crazy!
FM1T
I will read one quickly and depending on my mood make a comment…..piss someone off and be booted. Not before I have gotten another’s attention and pointed in a direction that brings them here.
Ha ha Twilight! Soon you will have no other sites to go to, you eventually will have yourself booted out of them all. I don’t even bother anymore at this time. Perhaps when I take care of me and get myself straightened out, then I will be able to start doing the same.
I think HG is doing great work here but
I was a bit shocked to read someone mentioned they wouldn’t care if he was a serial killer he is doing good work.Yikes!
It was probably just a flippant remark but it got to me .
i would really care because it wouldn’t just concern me and my narc situation anymore.
It would be like calling up some monster to use them for my own gain and knowledge not caring that they took another’s life.
I think it was a turn of phrase Kiki.
Yes you are right Hg I’m just feeling a bit sensitive. I didn’t mean any harm it was the way I interpreted it.
Im too sensitive at times.
Kiki
I saw that.
Abe
After taking the time to read over the comments you and I have been writing to each other, I do understand your point of view, honestly I do. For you and others to come on here and be able to take the knowledge that HG gives us and use it to learn and heal is a wonderful thing. HG himself does not care one way or another, he has a different purpose for doing all of this, I myself have found I am completely different then most. I struggle to keep my ET under control, so much so that as I have stated before in another thread, HG had been trying to help me in controlling these emotions and co/ dependency issues that I have, it has become an issue that even HG with all of his knowledge and understanding of my kind has proven to be to much for even him. I stay on here for a few reasons, one is because I care so much for some of the people on here including HG. The second reason is because I believe in HG and his work and how very important it is, I want to support him and his work. The third reason is because I have learned so much from him and others and had, I thought began to control my emotional thinking, now however I am not so sure. The fourth reason is because staying on here is like a safety net for me, it helps me to stay on track so that I don’t fall in to that vicious cycle once again. At this time however I simply don’t care anymore, the struggle within myself is becoming to much for me to deal with and I’m simply tired and ready to just give up on it all. Perhaps this is the path that I am suppose to follow? Who knows? Some of us are born and die without ever knowing the answer to that question. The only thing I know for sure is that I have tried to see things as others do, I have tried to control my emotions, I have even tried becoming a better person, and now I don’t want to try anymore. I am happy Abe that you have found HGs work and that it is giving you the knowledge that you need to heal yourself and move on. I hope you find the peace that you do deserve.
It’s not proven to be too much for me – what evidence do you have to support that assertion?
I am sorry, FM1T, that you still struggle. Maybe you’re right and it’s true that I don’t understand you, but only think I do. I wish I could help, but don’t know how.
I have a few statements or pieces of advice that help me organize a bit the way I feel and think. Maybe they’re platitudes, or maybe they don’t make sense to you. Maybe I just like to think I’m a smart ass, but I’m actually wrong… This is not related to the good/bad discussion we had until here, I put that aside. Anyway, here they are (“you”, below, is kind of impersonal, it’s for me too, or anybody):
1. Emotions and emotional thinking are different. Feeling something is ok. Allow yourself to feel. Do not attempt to control your feelings. But also do not allow them to control you. Thinking should not be influenced by feels. You have to get to a point where, through introspection, you’re able to differentiate between what you feel and what is logically correct.
2. Patience is very important. You must learn to give yourself time before taking action, before saying (or writing) something, before reaching a conclusion. Learn patience, take a step back. Do not blindly throw yourself in your own whirlpool of feelings, crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. With patience, you’ll find that sometimes not doing anything is the best course of action.
3. Various feelings need various times to recede, to leave your mind clear. Probe yourself, find out first what the feeling is (or what the mix contains, because they usually come in groups), figure out why you have it, check your body for signs – heart-rate, knot in your stomach, sweat, and so on. Analyze. Realize that you are not what you feel. Detach. Smile. Laugh at yourself whenever possible.
4. Allow yourself to fail, do not be disappointed. It’s a learning process and takes time and practice. You won’t master this from the beginning, maybe never. But you’ll make small steps.
5. Do some sport. Run, gym, exercise at home, anything, as long as it is exhausting enough to leave you happy and pumped up with endorphins (i.e. simply walking won’t do). You see things differently afterward. You’ll get a better sleep.
I think that’s kind of it… I hope you’ll find something useful in this small salad… 🙂
Abe
Thank you for the kindness that you always show to me, you do not know me and so it is difficult for you to try and understand me. You your self wrote to me in another post about HG, “You do not know him FM1T, he only allows us to see what he wants us to see.” It is the same thing in your situation with me. If you do not know someone personally, then you really are not in a situation to know that person. That is something that you have written. You said that you would like to help me, but don’t know how. Was it not you that said something similar about the knowledge that HG gives us? He gives us the knowledge and tools, but it is us that has to do the work in order to heal. You can not help me, I can only help myself. Do you see how those to statements are the same?
I think the advice that you took the time to write, is very good advice indeed. I have been working on most of them, number 5 is one I must do or I would never wind down. My feelings are very much apart of me, this something that I am constantly working on controlling, my feelings are different then most, simply because my emotions and feelings have been my way of surviving my whole life, for me not to feel and listening to my emotions could cause me great harm! My mind never stops working, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing there are always several different things running through my mind at one time, so much so that people sometimes get lost in what I’m talking about and the way my mind skips from one subject to another. Because of certain schools and cadres in my empathetic makeup ( which I don’t expect you to understand, I feel the only one that does at this time is HG and also for the most part Twilight. ) I am a perfectionist and am very hard on myself, failure in anything is not an option in my mind, so that when I do fail, it is quite devastating to me. Because of the abuse and conditioning I have suffered my self confidence and self esteem is about at a nil. So you can see how much harder failing at something is to me. I am very grateful to you for the advice that you have offered and your kindness has once again warmed my heart. Yes, you need to stop worrying about other people and worry about yourself more. ( hmm, I wonder where I have seen that written before? ) I have found useful information in what you have written and yes, I will try to implement some of it into what I have been already practicing. Thank you once again for your time in writing to me. 😊
For confidence and self esteem:
1. My xN once told me – with great intelligence comes great stupidity. She was referring to me, of course, and she was probably trying to get me a bit annoyed or something. I laughed so hard, because I knew it is true. She did not say that to me again. But it is true (I know HG does not approve, though). Intelligent people often make the stupidest mistakes. The advantage is they know and they can learn. Always take failure as a step forward, always learn, and make this a proof of your higher intelligence and capability to adapt.
2. Since you still have to pick up a sport – maybe try a combat one (boxing, kick boxing or similar). This will get you used to getting punched or kicked, even knocked out (in a controlled environment), and not give up. Many fears will be addressed this way. You confidence will soar once you’ll start getting the hang of it and see your technique and efficiency improving (which, up to a certain level, happens rather quickly for these sports). It’s also hell of a workout – try punching or kicking the air for a few minutes and you’ll see what I mean.
Abe
I believe no one is stupid when it comes to narcissists. They are conditioned to do what they do! That lack of emotion and accountability always gives them an edge against empaths and normals alike. I could actually tell by your comments to me that you are quite intelligent! I am curious though, ( if you can tell me that is )
Is English your first language?
As for sport, that is one thing that I have. I find it quite interesting the sport you have mentioned. With out saying to much ( which at this time I simply can’t do ) I have learned that to give a punch, you must be able to take a punch. 😉.
I honestly can’t tell you how much it means to me that you continuously take the time to try and help me. Thank you.
FM1T,
Haha… I don’t need a narcissist to make very stupid mistakes, thank god!
I think I mentioned it to you before, I’m not a native speaker.
You did mention you were from another Country. I guess what I should have ask you is if you speak English? Hahaha I also don’t need a narcissist to make mistakes! I can do that all on my own! 🤣
Abe Moline
Love the advice you have given!!!!
Abe. Are you a male? I like hearing the male perspective. That is one of the many reasons I enjoy HG Tudor`s analysis and work so much. Also, your English seems so good to me. You say you are not a native speaker. Will you tell me your first language?
PSE good question! I only assumed he was a male? Although I didn’t think to ask him or her. I agree with you having a male viewpoint from an empaths prospective is quite interesting to me also, although Abe does not think he is an empath! Lol.
PSE,
Yes, I am a male.
I can only say my native language is not germanic.
Abe. You seem to be a highly patient person towards females, as a male.
PSE, He most certainly does. 😊
PSE,
Haha, you should ask my wife about that patience. Not sure she agrees that much (but, well, to a certain degree, and even then, maybe only because she is a really good person… 😀)
About language… I think I misunderstand the terms here (“native speaker”, “first language”…). To clarify – I am from and live in a country where English is not spoken officially, we learn it at school or later, if ever. The official language is not germanic.
Abe. The way you think and write remind me of myself. Wherever you are from, If I went there, I would probably feel quite at home. I currently live in NYC. For most of my life. Sometimes I feel I am in the wrong place to live my life. And I can not go home again. I tried that. Although NYC does have its conveniences to recommend it, but the way people treat each other in general, not so much.
PSE,
Except for people, everything else is mostly interchangeable these days, in almost any part of the globe.
Anyone else notice those red flags flying high, or is it just me?
Well, if you mean I might be a narcissist… As I said, I thought about this and decided I am probably not. However, that does not mean much, since I’d definitely not be a greater…
Abe,
I do not know if you are a narcissist or not? I certainly hope not, but who knows? Usually just saying that pretty much means that your not, but I have learned that nothing is 100%. Perhaps it is just me, I believe when I read the part of your wife being a good woman, that through me off. I am sure you understand that most on here have been ensnared by a narcissist, including as you say yourself, seeing red flags is something I didn’t pay attention to in the past and I can never let that happen again! To me it doesn’t confirm that you are or that you aren’t, it simply tells me to stop! Proceed with caution! If I’ve hurt your feelings I am sorry for that, truly I am, but ( this will sound really bad.) my feelings are more important, they have to be.
I said my wife is a good person, not a “good woman” (I regard “good woman” as having some sort of bad connotation. Cultural thing). And she really is. Certainly much more empathic than me.
Also, it was a joke. I am usually quite patient. I have my moments, but it usually takes a very high amount of triggering to get me going.
Anyway.
I hope I did not hurt you in any way, even if I were a narcissist. I think what I wrote up to here is not harmful to anybody.
I must admit I did not write for your personal use only, it’s for anybody who comes across these comments and sees some usefulness in what I wrote. My pride is also there, that’s true.
I understand, foolme1time.
Take care!
Abe Moline
I appreciate your contributions and your attitude that they are not given with intent to sway – just observations that one can take or leave. Not that gender should matter, but I am interested in the male perspective on many of these issues also. I see nothing so far to indicate that you are a narcissist, but I don’t think that is really of great concern to you anyway. Can I ask how you happened upon the site then? Perhaps a familial over intimate issue, or just general interest?
Abe
You absolutely did not hurt me in anyway! I was hoping I did not anger or hurt you. I was just very glad that red flags went up and I actually noticed them. The advice and comments you write are very good and very much needed on here. As you have been told by many on here having a man commented and seeing your point of view is something I wish there were more of. I also do know that your comments are meant not just for me but for anyone. I enjoy corresponding with you and reading your comments. You take care also Abe.
NA,
I had an extramarital affair with a woman which I’m quite firmly convinced is a narcissist (MRN). I was an IPSS. It lasted for a few months, after which she withdraw the I-part (I became shelved), because her previous IPSS went back off shelf (I only found out about this much later). We continued chatting for a while, me pleading and her refusing. In the end, we kind of both “agreed” to end it completely. I initiated my (shaky) NC a few months ago, and I’m only having a strong NC (or so I believe) for a month or so.
I am really lucky in that:
– I did not sustain heavy damage (the relationship did not last very long)
– My family stood beside my, despite the much hurt that I provoked, so I had and still have a very helpful safety net
– I found out rather quickly after disengagement/escape about narcissism, so I could take small steps early, avoiding so far a re-ensnarement and further damage
– My self esteem and confidence are naturally quite high, which helps with the recovery
I learned so much in the meanwhile (mostly here, but not only here). Because of this, narcissist-related stuff and ET-control is becoming interesting and fun, a bit more than just a necessity for me to get over it, although this is still my first priority.
Thank you for reinforcing my belief that I am not a narcissist (although I consider myself as having some strong narcissistic traits).
It is not true that I’m completely over this idea. It comes back from time to time, and today was one of those days.
FM1T,
I realize it is not your fault. Please don’t feel bad for giving me doubts.
Exposing ourselves here comprises certain dangers, and we must deal with them.
I consider this a lesson learned, so I actually thank you. Seems I still have much work to do before that “not caring” state I “lectured” you about… 🙂
Abe M
Thank you for expanding a bit on your situation. Glad to hear you have support and that your self esteem and confidence remain intact to aid in recovery. I share your interest in the subject and it remains a large part of the reason that I am still here also. Continued success on your no contact.
Abe
Here comes the empath in me! Lol I am sorry for creating any doubt in your mind. Just the way that you touched my heart with your kindness to me threw up a red flag. I attract and am attracted to narcissist. Just the idea that someone normal did that was actually quite nice and gave me hope for the future. It was you that warned me from the very beginning about not trusting to soon, I was and always have to be very cautious. I hope I still get to correspond with you on the blog. Your advice and comments are very good. Thank you! 😘🙃
Abe
One more thing you should know. As far as HG saying he is regarded by some as being a bad man. My first comment on this thread to HG was personal between HG and myself. You see at one time after a consult with him, I thanked him and told him he was a good man. His response was “Thank you but, I am a bad man, I may do good things, lots of them, but I am not a good man.” That is the first time I disagreed with him on this subject, and I will continue to do so until hell freezes over!
The minions are keeping Hell’s furnaces burning brightly FM1T! Looks like there’s a long wait ahead
If that is so HG, then I will continue to believe as I do until you have no minions left! 🙃💞
No minions left? Not a chance FM1T!
Then I will believe until the end of time HG!! 🙃💞
There was a time I would have tried to label HG as a good or evil man, but the more I learn, the more I have come to see that good and evil is all a matter of perspective. We come up with labels to provide us comfort and help make sense of this experience called life. Labels allow us to exert some type of control/structure, but in the grand scheme of things they are meaningless.
I don’t say these things lightly, because I really wish the world had meaning and the just would be rewarded and the wicked punished, but that’s not the world we live in. And if it were, would it be just to wish for punishment of the narcs in our lives when almost all of them were as young children victims of genetics and their environment? As HG says, most of them have no knowledge on what they are and are incapable of change. Can you really justly punish someone who doesn’t what they are?
It’s interesting that in Genesis, God cast out Adam and Eve from Eden because they ate the forbidden apple that would give them knowledge for good and evil yet sharing knowledge is why some consider HG to be a good person. HG’s knowledge of others and awareness of himself has allowed him to provide information to help us learn about our experiences, why our narcs did what they did, and more importantly, why we do what we do. This knowledge allows us to make a choice about who we want to be versus blindly following our biological programming/emotional thinking. What God wanted to deny Adam and Eve, HG gives us voluntarily and, in most instances, without any compensation.
HG is an individual of superior intelligence who has gained awareness of others and himself which allows him to operate in a way where he is in control and achieve his goals. He shares that knowledge not for altruistic purposes, but because he enjoys writing and it gives him an outlet to showcase his knowledge. HG has done what very few have: know who he is, embrace it, and live a life with no regrets.
Beautiful and eloquently written BCHG.
Thank you! I wish I could more fully articulate everything that I’ve learned from HG and how he’s affected my worldview.
I really like your description of yourself HG. Acknowledging that you do good things, but that does not make you a good person. That is an honest response. And I respect that immensely.
Thank you Empath007. I provide you with honesty, tools and information here. Some people lose sight of that from time to time. I am clear about what I am and what I do – there are others (on other platforms – not here)who peddle inaccuracies and claim to be things they are not. These are the Support Forum Frauds I have written about.
Definitely. I am a straight shooter… always have been. I now realize that is because I am on the empathetic spectrum of personalities. A lot of people like things sugar coated, dumbed down and to fit what they want reality to be opposed to what it actually is.
I appreciate this blog because it does not sugar coat things. It’s honest and straightforward and that’s how I like to get my information.
I don’t agree that all other support forums are terrible. I haven’t joined one but there is a lot of information on the internet I have also found helpful as well.
I appreciate your time and your honesty. Keep writing it is very interesting and very needed.
FM1T
This honest exchange between you and HG is so beautiful! It took my breathe away. No one is all good or all bad. I agree with you, HG has behaved more “lovingly” towards me than the family that claimed to love me. That may not be his intention, but being honest is as selfless as one can be because you are respecting another’s personal sovereignty.
E&L
Thank you for your kind remarks. You are absolutely correct about the honesty. Although putting a label on someone is something that I don’t like doing,( simply because I have had labels attached to me my whole life ) I did not like HG at the time of my consult calling himself a bad man. As with you he has done nothing to me except be kind ( kinder then anyone else in my whole life has been ) and honest. You can simply not ask for anything more then that. He has become a man that I respect and admire considerably and he has also become a very important part of my life.
It’s 2 folded advice where it serves both of us u get fuel we get knowledge maybe you should have another poll
I work in the Psych field. My ex is a Narcissistic Sociopath. Long after I realized he was like you, I stayed with him. Partly because I was in love and couldn’t live without him. Partly because it was a rare opportunity and I had my own interest in studying your kind. He is a sexual sadist and things became physically/emotionally unsafe. Ah yes, the mindfuck. Predictably, I stayed. Not surprisingly I sustained great damage. I’ve learned so much from reading your blog, things that one can’t find in a text book. Any professional who says they have not read this blog is lying. Everyone knows you’re wicked smaaht.
Thank you BG13, HG approves.
I have said this so many times over the years and will continue to do so until you believe it also! You are not a bad man! You have done bad things just like we all have, perhaps worse then some and not as bad as others.
You don’t know him, foolme1time. You just see what he wants us to see. Always keep your skepticism intact and healthy. I’m not saying he’s not doing a very useful and needed job with filling the need for information about the subject. I’m not saying you cannot be right, and he’s actually not a bad man. I’m saying – always keep a reasonable doubt about somebody you don’t know personally. After all, HG admits he’s a narcissist, actually the best (or worst) kind of them…
Take care, happy soul!
Abe,
I understand what you are saying, in fact if I would have, as you say kept my skepticism intact and healthy, I probably wouldn’t have been involved with so many narcissists in my life? In the future I’m sure I will do so, I will also take heed to the red flags when I see them, however when it comes to HG, absolutely know one, will change mind about him! He is not a bad man! He has simply done bad things, I’m sure some were horrible, I’m also sure there are others who have done a lot worse then he has! As far as knowing him personally, there are many that I have known personally, that I thought were good and would never do bad things, especially to a little girl! Look where that got me! Right here with a man that I don’t know personally, but that has only ever done good things to help me and saved my life! This time my friend we can agree to disagree. 😉
Morning Fool me—I agree. I have done several horrible things in my own life. Three come to mind. I may breathe of one—not the other two. I could essentially care less what H.G. has or has not done. He could be a serial murderer and it wouldn’t change the value of his work. Also, to expand on this—even if I found out he were some demonic whatever—I’d still pick his brain.
Of course you would Claire. Lol. I understand what Abe was saying, I just can’t apply any of it to HG.
Yes—I just don’t care. I work with people who have committed sometimes abhorrent crimes. Many of them have been incarcerated for some reason and the crimes are sometimes quite violent. (Due to proximity we get new releases from a post prison program, in addition to our general area.) I am nearly always treated quite well. (Because they want something and frankly people just aren’t dark and awful most of the time.) HG clearly has better things to attend to than giving two shits about being a criminal mastermind toward people here anyway.
Oh—and I’m nearly certain I’m capable of more than H.G. after fasting. I can be a horrendous bitch at the 18th hour of no food!
A lot of the World’s ills could be solved by just eating a Snickers. Sigh.
My favorite!
Hahaha! 🤣🤣🤣
NA—this is totally off topic but I thought of you! Remember my daughter ordering that makeup and other stuff by using my credit card? I have most of it returned etc—but there was a bottle of full coverage foundation I just noticed and I’m thinking, “That is my color I think?!” I decided to try it. Talk about a rainbow in a mess! It’s the bomb diggity! I have never bought full coverage because I hate a ton of make-up—this crap takes 5 years off easy!
So Claire, You are not going to share what that makeup is with the rest of us?! Hahaha 🙃
I just saw this! Haha. I’ll have to look again.
Snickers–it really satisfies.
You could pick his brain and he will eat yours and laugh .
That’s an asshole comment and I don’t recognize your name anyway.
Fool Me–
I have said a similar thing and I think it is brought on by the fact that we don’t want to think of someone who is helping us as ‘the bad guy.’ We think of ‘bad people’ as those we want nothing to do with and should just be put ‘over there.’
I recall when I muttered similar words HG politely said something like, ‘You need to stop thinking this way.’
Bibi
I understand what you are saying, and yes I’m sure to many that is the way they think, however that is not the case with me when it comes to HG. Not even HG himself can change my mind on this one! He is not a bad man,just as he was not a bad child, or teenager. He was a good boy, and now a good man, who has simply done bad things. 🌻
FM1T
In a bigger picture HG was created to deal with an evil many of you can not phantom, is he evil…..that depends from which perspective one is viewing him from.
It also depends on who is on the receiving end of his energy….yes I see what he projects and consumes. No different then the Empath…..
Now I have often wondered who would actually stand up to him to protect another Empath? That would be a interesting balancing of energies of not pissing him off and absorbing that force of energy and continue to stand and face him and not become exhausted.
The ideas I entertain……
Your a force to be reckoned with HG and one few would be able to stand up against.
Twilight
You have caused another light bulb to go off in my head! As you know HG is not a firm believer in the feelings some of us have, but I know what I feel! I have not thought of it as his energy! When you wrote you “I see what he projects and consumes. No different then the Empath” I got it! That is what I feel and sense, it is his energy, just like my own! I almost believed ( from something someone said to me) that I was wrong and was not able to feel the emotions ( energy) of another! Thank you Twilight! Thank you so much! I knew what I was feeling was not wrong!
FM1T
It is just energy and once you take ownership of it out of the equation it is neither good or bad, simple put it is just energy.
It is the persons intentions and how they decide to use it that makes it positive or negative. Then it is how the person receiving it takes it and uses it.
We all have a choice to respond or react to what another does, we are not responsible for their actions only our own.
Does it make an abuser who is abusing right….depends on who’s perspective it is being viewed by.
For the record I do not agree with what narcissists do yet I understand why by actually stepping into their shoes alongside of understanding HGs work.
Twilight
This is another way that I look at this that some probably do not. When you constantly tell someone, especially a child, that he is not good enough, that he is bad, that he disappointed you, that you do not love him!!! Then that child will start believing those things. Just as many of us have been conditioned to feel the way we do, so has he! But when you tell someone they are good, that they have done the best that they could and that is all that really matters and that you love them more then life itself, for who they are and not what someone else thinks they should be, well then, that person will start seeing and believing the truth! That truth is, You are a good man, who has done some bad things, because of the way you were conditioned to do so!!
Twilight,
At the risk of a backlash (both spoken and silent) against me, I would like to respond to your comment.
You say, “Your a force to be reckoned with HG and one few would be able to stand up against.”
Yes, with a worldwide blog and thousands of followers and fans ready to “stand up” alongside HG, such as yourself, HG is indeed a “force”.
If you look at that from another perspective, he has many lieutenants and flying monkeys, ready and willing to “smear” anyone who says anything to “devalue” our god and saviour, the great HG! That is the case whether the person saying it has valid reason and respectful words or inaccurate reason and slanderous words. (By the way, I’m being grandiose to illustrate a point here and I’m not directing this to you specifically.)
Personally, I have tried in the past on numerous occasions to debate, or contradict, or question or analyse things on this blog, mainly in order to better understand the topic or to provide an honest opinion.
Almost every time, my comments have been met with a form of backlash that has tried to contradict or invalidate what I’ve said in order to “protect” HG and validate this blog. This has left me feeling a bit “censored”. It feels like we can only provide our views or opinions if they are flattering to HG or support him, which in turn seems to imply that “narcissism” should be supported too.
I would just like to say that I will *never* support narcissism, even though I support HG Tudor and this blog. In my mind, what he is doing here is much more “normal” or “empathic” than it is narcissistic. It helps me to keep that distinction in my mind. By applauding this blog and HG’s actions in this blog, I am NOT applauding narcissism.
He is a narcissist and as such has an inflated ego and an overly positive self-view. A narcissist’s self-view is also unstable and insecure, hence the need to retaliate with fury when that self-view is threatened. “Threatened” here can mean literally anything, either deliberate or not, either well-meaning or not. It can mean “questioned”, “contradicted” or it can be a figment of the narcissist’s own imagination. This is his self-defence mechanism that allows him to sustain his distorted overly positive self-view.
Yes, you could call that a “force”. That “force” needs to be either reigned in or contained in some way though, in order to be a sustained and “healthy” force. In the world in general, the “force” of narcissists is “absorbed” by non-narcissists who need to then recover their own balance or who need to adapt and change themselves to survive.
“Standing up” against this force is possible, but it comes at a heavy cost. We’re not talking about Star Wars or some idealistic battle here. It’s reality. Standing up against the force of narcissism leads to more cases of narcissism, or depression, or anxiety, or oppression, or domestic violence, or bar brawls, or drug addiction etc etc. Or, it can mean being seen in general as an unwelcome and invalidated person on a blog… an example of what *not* to do in order to remain on good terms with others in the group in general.
Twilight,
You’re entitled to your opinion, as we all are. You’re entitled to admire and thank HG too. I would just like to ask you to keep in mind that the opinions of others are just as valid even though they may not be outwardly supportive or flattering to HG, or agreed with by the majority.
Hello Wisernow,
Whilst your comment is directed towards Twilight, I am going to respond since this will prove useful. I have pasted your original comment below and my observations are numbered for ease of reference.
“At the risk of a backlash (both spoken and silent) against me, I would like to respond to your comment.”
1. I am not sure what a silent backlash is, perhaps you mean your comment would not be posted. You can see it has as are 99% of comments. As repeatedly stated, I have no issue with people articulating their views. My issue is with accuracy based on evidence.
You say, “Your a force to be reckoned with HG and one few would be able to stand up against.”
Yes, with a worldwide blog and thousands of followers and fans ready to “stand up” alongside HG, such as yourself, HG is indeed a “force”.
2. True. I am also a force as an individual. You cannot of course know this since we do not know one another personally but what I do in my professional and private life amounts to being a force. Plenty of people would attest to that.
If you look at that from another perspective, he has many lieutenants and flying monkeys, ready and willing to “smear” anyone who says anything to “devalue” our god and saviour, the great HG! That is the case whether the person saying it has valid reason and respectful words or inaccurate reason and slanderous words. (By the way, I’m being grandiose to illustrate a point here and I’m not directing this to you specifically.)
3. There are no Lieutenants (flying monkeys here). Nobody is influenced or manipulated to act on my behalf. They do so of their own volition. Even if you widen the concept of a Lieutenant to include someone who supports me and do so actively by disagreeing with someone else (for the avoidance of doubt this does not meet the definition of a Lieutenant) then to state they are many, is inaccurate. Of those who read here, about 2% are moved to comment each day. Of that 2%, maybe 25% (so 0.5% of readers) state something to support me. That cannot be considered many. Indeed, more stay silent than stand up for me.
Personally, I have tried in the past on numerous occasions to debate, or contradict, or question or analyse things on this blog, mainly in order to better understand the topic or to provide an honest opinion.
4. Such an approach is welcomed here. As stated many times, everybody may state an opinion but if it is ill-founded (as in there is no evidence or little evidence to support it) it will be corrected and sometimes this provokes a forceful response from certain readers. By way of example :-
a. If a reader writes “HG you are a nasty person.” This is an opinion. However, it has evidence in support of it. I have done and do nasty things to certain people. (we will leave aside the debate about perspective).
b. If a reader states “HG your work is really helpful, but I don’t like the way you have treated your girlfriends in the past, that is terrible. ” This is an opinion and again is based on evidence. My work has helped many, many people -the comments, emails and testimonials are all evidence of that. My treatment of past girlfriends meets with disapproval and is described as terrible, again that is based on the evidence of what I have written.
c. If a reader states “HG you get all your fuel from this blog”. That is an opinion but an ill-formed one because (I) The book fuel explains why fuel from this blog is low in potency and amount (ii) readers know from my articles and posting I gain fuel from superior appliances away from the blog. Thus the comment has no evidence to support it.
Almost every time, my comments have been met with a form of backlash that has tried to contradict or invalidate what I’ve said in order to “protect” HG and validate this blog. This has left me feeling a bit “censored”. It feels like we can only provide our views or opinions if they are flattering to HG or support him, which in turn seems to imply that “narcissism” should be supported too.
5. I suspect this is more to with perception than evidence:-
a. How many comments have you made? How many have been met with a response? How many of those would be viewed as a backlash? Your use of ‘almost every time’ would suggest 95% and therefore either
(I) The reality based on evidence is nowhere near that percentage ; or
(ii) It is and if so, is there a reason for this – are your comments not well-founded and this means people speak out against them? Do understand that this blog is not populated by people who blindly accept everything I write and blindly leap to my defence. If you truly think that, I invite you to actually examine the evidence. You strike me as sensible WN and if you maintain such a stance after looking at the evidence I would be surprised.
Please understand I am not attacking you with this response but rather looking to assist you. One of the major problems which plagues empaths is their emotional thinking distorts their views and with that comes unpleasant thoughts and feelings. By way of example, I recently consulted with a client who began the consultation stating “I am being hoovered all of the time.” We went through the evidence – she had been hoovered four times in two months BUT her ET made her feel like she was under siege. I received a great email afterwards saying how taking her to the actual evidence and not perception made her realise how her ET was obscuring matters, how her anxiety had vanished after speaking to me and she felt so much better. Why? She used logic based on evidence and not ET.
Accordingly, it may be the case that
(a) You perceive a backlash nearly all of the time but when you analyse it, it is a disagreement far less than you perceive;
(b) Where there is disagreement (whatever percentage it is) this is based on a contrary view being formed on evidence;
(c) Where there is disagreement (whatever percentage it is) some of this is based on sheer loyalty rather than evidence and this is ET thinking in itself.
It is not accurate to state that the only views that can be advanced her are the ones which are flattering to me. Yes, many people do support me and thank me here and I understand how some people may regard some of that as being over the top, some of it as measured also. You will see many comments debating me and attacking me. As I mentioned yesterday, SMH and Mona often debate with me and do not accept points I make but they do so in a respectful fashion. There are plenty of others who do similar. Just because someone disagrees with what you write does not mean they are some blind devotee – if you can state an opinion, are they then not allowed to state theirs based on yours?
I would just like to say that I will *never* support narcissism, even though I support HG Tudor and this blog. In my mind, what he is doing here is much more “normal” or “empathic” than it is narcissistic. It helps me to keep that distinction in my mind. By applauding this blog and HG’s actions in this blog, I am NOT applauding narcissism.
6. Your stance on not supporting narcissism is understandable and your choice based on evidence. I appreciate your support for this blog and for me generally, thank you. It is important to make that distinction and many other people will share your view in that regard – it is one of the views I have used as an example above and I have no issue with it.
He is a narcissist and as such has an inflated ego and an overly positive self-view. A narcissist’s self-view is also unstable and insecure, hence the need to retaliate with fury when that self-view is threatened. “Threatened” here can mean literally anything, either deliberate or not, either well-meaning or not. It can mean “questioned”, “contradicted” or it can be a figment of the narcissist’s own imagination. This is his self-defence mechanism that allows him to sustain his distorted overly positive self-view.
7. This is largely accurate when applied to narcissists as a whole. Remember, the fury comes from wounding. Questioning or contradicting will be challenge fuel and is met (where necessary) with a manipulative response. Given who I am and my encouraging of debate should a person challenge my observations here, yes it is challenge fuel, however my response is based on the application of logic and I do not need to resort to a manipulative response. Indeed to do so, given my intelligence and self-awareness, would be a poor move on my part. If I responded to your post with “You’re a fucking idiot who does not know what you are talking about.” That is a knee-jerk, unhelpful, ad hominem attack and worthless. It is far more effective, fair and constructive to respond as I have – in a polite and evidence-based manner. I also acknowledge that your comment is polite and framed in a respectful manner.
Yes, you could call that a “force”. That “force” needs to be either reigned in or contained in some way though, in order to be a sustained and “healthy” force. In the world in general, the “force” of narcissists is “absorbed” by non-narcissists who need to then recover their own balance or who need to adapt and change themselves to survive.
8. With regard to your second sentence, from your perspective that is accurate, from ours, no, because we have differing needs. Your final sentence is accurate and I agree.
“Standing up” against this force is possible, but it comes at a heavy cost. We’re not talking about Star Wars or some idealistic battle here. It’s reality. Standing up against the force of narcissism leads to more cases of narcissism, or depression, or anxiety, or oppression, or domestic violence, or bar brawls, or drug addiction etc etc. Or, it can mean being seen in general as an unwelcome and invalidated person on a blog… an example of what *not* to do in order to remain on good terms with others in the group in general.
9. Standing up to narcissism away from this blog means, as you know from my work, not engaging rather than directly standing up to it and your are correct about some of the outcomes.
Twilight,
You’re entitled to your opinion, as we all are. You’re entitled to admire and thank HG too. I would just like to ask you to keep in mind that the opinions of others are just as valid even though they may not be outwardly supportive or flattering to HG, or agreed with by the majority.
10. This is fair enough.
I trust you embrace the detail I have provided her to recognise this is a constructive forum. You can write what you like. If it is gratuitous, adds nothing and is insulting of me or other readers on a repeated basis it will not appear (I am not suggesting you do this, there are a small number who do). If it challenges, fair enough and if it based on misunderstanding or inaccuracy it will be corrected (often by me and also readers). I never ‘go nuclear’ in my responses to comments – if you disagree with that, show me the evidence. I often agree with comments also (and not just the ones which praise me).
I trust that you will continue to contribute in a constructive manner.
Hello WiserNow
Not one time have I stated another’s opinion is not valid. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, now when a opinion is stated as fact then no I do not see it as valid.
I do not always agree with HG, and this is usually approach in a private way (consult) due to my respect for him and I can be more direct with my views without dealing with anyone else’s opinion or emotion.
My admiration and respect for HG is kept within sight of this blog and his work. I do not know him in real life so it doesn’t spill over into that.
HG is aware of how I feel about his abusive behaviors and knows I do not support nor do I admire that aspect of him.
I have confronted a few when they have been inaccurate……not to long ago on Twitter I was attacked and told I only comment because I wanted to be “f**ked” by HG, I created my account to harass them, had one of their “friends” warn me not to harass them, etc….you want to know what I said ….. I asked when HG and his GF married due to their comment of how she was being treated now that were married, HG corrected this and yes I spoke highly of the blog and his work.
Here on the blog I have confronted very few and you know what they are narcissists. I do not confront empathetic/empathic people yet support and listen to their stories, I feel (literally) their pain, anger, hatred, etc.
A empath can be a force to be reckoned with if they have the right tools and know how to use them. Here you are given many tools and how to use them.
Twilight,
My reply to your comment was mainly due to your statement …
“Now I have often wondered who would actually stand up to him to protect another Empath? That would be a interesting balancing of energies of not pissing him off and absorbing that force of energy and continue to stand and face him and not become exhausted.”
To me it came across as though you were envisioning some kind of ‘face-off’ between HG and an empathic person due to HG’s abuse of someone. And it also came across as though you were giving HG all of the credit for being the stronger opponent. It also sounded as though you thought HG was justified in being “pissed off” in this imagined ‘duel’.
I’m not stating facts so there are no ‘inaccuracies’ here. Your comment made me think that:
1. You didn’t see anything innately wrong with him abusing another empath;
2. You didn’t think any empath capable or willing or able to face him because he is a ‘force’; and
3. You were ultimately proud of HG behaving and “winning” in this way.
I responded because I thought there *is* an empathic person (me) who would stand up to protect someone being abused, but considering the situation, there would be other elements at play in addition to HG’s own personal ‘force’. I also wanted to object to the narcissistic abuse of someone being taken lightly in favour of HG’s superior ability to fight off any opposers.
I didn’t say that you invalidated anyone. I responded to the ‘message’ of your comment with a view that challenged yours. I tried to point out why it is not just about HG’s ‘force’ that another empathic person may or may not stand up against him. When it comes to this blog, there are other elements to think about.
Anyway, when I spoke of a “backlash”, this is what I meant. Like you, I appreciate this blog and HG’s help and advice. I just don’t appreciate narcissism. We can agree to disagree on that.
WiserNow
You appear to be of the opinion that you should be able to speak your mind and give your viewpoint, but that if others do, and it does not agree with yours, or you are unable to accept it, that you are justified in labelling them fans, lieutenants, and flying monkeys ready to defend their “god and saviour”. Can you see how that might warrant the labels hypocritical and self-righteous? Are you not smearing and devaluing others with those labels?
Twilight’s comment about HG being a force to be reckoned with can be taken (using logic over emotion) also as merely recognizing what someone would be up against and the strength that would be needed. Not that it couldn’t be done or that she is championing it. That pesky perception is a tricky thing.
I wouldn’t say that you’ve “tried” to debate, question, or give a different opinion previously. You did give them. People responded. Why is it considered contradiction, invalidation, or backlash rather than simply giving an opinion as you have? Could your response to Twilight not be considered backlash?
Have you considered that others might feel censored also? I know I have. You see it works both ways depending on the perspective. Mine is that (to remain accepted by your standards) I should only offer opinions that support the victim entirely regardless my feeling there might be something else to consider in identifying or possibly adapting behaviour (NOT fault), that I must never be able to see the narcissist as anything but a monster and not a person, that I must use pleasant and generally acceptable language and scrutinize for anything that can be taken as offence (near impossible) rather than in the concise and blunt way that I do in real life because I think we are all adults and can handle it. A reminder that even narcissist can use pretty words as weapons.
Yes, standing up can come at a heavy cost. Sometimes that can mean to remain standing when your views and opinions are seen as unwelcome or unvalidated as you put it. That goes for everyone. I don’t want to have to pick a “side” to remain in the group, rather say what we think as you have and to let people decide.
I agree with your last paragraph and it applies to you also. Keep in mind that the opinions of others that do not necessarily mesh with ours or the majority and that cause emotions to surface are valid also.
NarcAngel,
Your reply here is exactly what I meant when I said “backlash”. Why did you feel the need to respond instead of just scrolling by?
I didn’t label anyone with the words fan, lieutenant, or flying monkey. It wasn’t meant in a literal way. In fact I stated that I was being deliberately grandiose to illustrate how that particular “perspective” *could* also exist on the blog. I was not saying that Twilight or anyone behaved in that way specifically, however, it *could* be perceived that way, and that would give HG more “force” than he would have if not on the blog.
Why do you have to react in such a defensive manner instead of remaining a little more detached and relating to the “perspective” of what I’m saying rather than see it as a full-on attack?
So, the alternative to responding to Twilight (for me) would have been to think what I thought but keep quiet in the fear that I would ruffle some feathers. Basically, to shut up. Or in other words, “silence is the same as consent”….hmm, didn’t HG end one of his posts describing narcissists with that line?
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I just kept quiet?
You say, “I agree with your last paragraph and it applies to you also. Keep in mind that the opinions of others that do not necessarily mesh with ours or the majority and that cause emotions to surface are valid also.”
I have kept this in mind the whole time. That is exactly why I felt like saying something instead of keeping quiet. That is why I started off my comment with the words, “At the risk of a backlash…”. I knew it was coming, and you proved me right.
Also, I don’t think I am any more “self-righteous” or “hypocritical” than you are or Twilight is, for that matter. You have made your points and observations here on the blog before and now and you haven’t been all that gracious or understanding or liberal if anyone disagreed with you, so why the need or expectation that others will or should be towards you?
All in all, I have no wish to argue or *prove* anything. I said what I said, just as Twilight did and you are now doing. Live and let live, I say.
WiserNow
Once again you miss the irony. You make comments and observations. Others make comments and observations. Why should I scroll on by? Did you scroll on by Twilight’s comment? Did you scroll on by my comment on the Alex thread? No. You gave your opinions and even suggested how I should conduct myself, yet when faced with observations about your own behaviour (come on, can labelling people as fans, Lieutenants, flying monkeys, and defending their “god’ really be taken any other way than contempt?) you claim backlash or being silenced. I responded to your comment because I found it ironic that I have felt the same things you stated in your comment but from a reverse angle and it seemed lost on you that could be possible. That your comment displayed that you should be able to say whatever you feel but that if others do not agree that they should stay silent or it would be considered backlash. Yes, I make comments that are not always accepted and people respond. You have felt quite free to give your views on mine and others (and quite extensively in some cases). Why do you feel that can not be reciprocated and that people should just accept yours and remain silent? That is the irony.
Maybe this will help:
I consider the airing or exchanging of differing viewpoints as discussion. Some may consider it attack. It depends on ones definition.
WiserNow
Have you ever been around a Greater?
“To me it came across as though you were envisioning some kind of ‘face-off’ between HG and an empathic person due to HG’s abuse of someone. And it also came across as though you were giving HG all of the credit for being the stronger opponent. It also sounded as though you thought HG was justified in being “pissed off” in this imagined ‘duel’.”
From HGs perspective he would be justified.
HG extremely manipulative, cunning, and has absolutely no empathy for another’s pain, then add his intellect and understand of people, I would never say he is a stronger opponent yet a deadly opponent.
“I responded because I thought there *is* an empathic person (me) who would stand up to protect someone being abused, but considering the situation, there would be other elements at play in addition to HG’s own personal ‘force’. I also wanted to object to the narcissistic abuse of someone being taken lightly in favour of HG’s superior ability to fight off any opposers.”
You believe you would stand up and protect one, due to considering the situation and other elements at play you would back down quickly……I would not. I have also said I have no desire, never have I said I wouldn’t.
I have not only been on the receiving end of a Greaters malice yet witnessed exactly what an UGN can and is capable of doing to another. What I witness was the destruction of a persons mind.
I do not take narcissistic abuse lightly. Which is one reason why even here I will “get up in one of his kinds face” when they step out of line and begin to “abuse” another here, including HG even thou he doesn’t need protection. Abuse is abuse period.
“You’re entitled to your opinion, as we all are. You’re entitled to admire and thank HG too. I would just like to ask you to keep in mind that the opinions of others are just as valid even though they may not be outwardly supportive or flattering to HG, or agreed with by the majority.”
Your asking me to keep in mind that the opinions of others are just as valid is why I responded with-Not one time have I stated another’s opinion is not valid. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, now when a opinion is stated as fact then no I do not see it as valid.
I do understand and took it into consideration you viewed my comment from only one perspective, yours. I responded to try and clarify my perspective and meaning of my comment.
Twilight,
You’re entitled to your opinion and I am to mine. Let’s just leave it at that.
Twilight,
Just one other thing though, if you or me, or anyone, is going to use the concept of “perspectives” to explain their views or opinions, than it would only be logical that other people can also speak from their “perspective” also. I’m not saying you need to change your perspective, only that there are other perspectives and other (valid) ways to see the same thing.
WiserNow
Maybe one day you will understand what a Contagion Empath is….everything infects me which gives me another’s perspective to see when I step into their shoes.
This is also how I know you would back down from one like HG, you have something to lose. You see I have had everything taken from me, had to face those who like you said they would stand up for another yet when faced with the reality of their reputation being tainted which could possibly cause them to lose status amongst their peers be it social, private or professional. Their survival instincts kicked in and they back off.
HG
I took what Twilight wrote differently then both you and WN. As you know through texting and email at times it is very easy to take what is written and completely get it wrong. Without actually being face to face or even just hearing the other persons voice it is hard to characterize what they actually are trying to say. We also do not know each other personally on here and that also at times is a hinderance. I remember commenting at one time and the person who I was commenting to took all of the exclamation points (that I have at times, been known to use) as an attack on them, which simply was not true! See what I did there? As for Twilight and her comment I believe it is only she that can tell us what it was she was actually talking about. As you know some of us on here see and feel things differently then others, I took her writing about HG, his energy and force as what she could feel coming from inside of him and nothing to do with what the two of you were writing about. I hope at this point the two of you understand what I have just written? 🙃
I saw the observations of Twilight as obviously her opinion based on what she feels as a Contagion Empath and also what she knows from her knowledge of me (gained through reading and consultation). WN disagreed with elements of that opinion. I addressed the various points then advanced by WN as my comment makes clear, I was not addressing Twilight’s observations as it was unnecessary for me to do so.
I agree with your observations about how perception can cause a message to be received differently to the intention of the issuer of that message.
HG
I did understand your observation and the way you understood it to be written. I was just trying to show others that’s we all perceive things differently. I can’t tell you how often at times that you write something using your extensive vocabulary and I have to google the word or words just to understand what you have written. In know way when I wrote my comment did I do so to offend either WN or yourself.
HG and FM1T
You both have an understanding of a side of me many here don’t and I appreciate both of you and seeing that as part of my original comment.
Yes part of my comment “a force to be reckoned with” had to do with the energy absorbed. Not many can stand up to the malice when directed in full force and absorbed it from a Greater. It took me two years to completely purge myself of what I absorbed from Jon and he is no where near the Greater you are HG. So yes I have entertain thoughts of who could…..not many and I believe the only reason why I could in the manner I did with Jon is due to being exposed to my Grandfather and mentor and what they taught me.
HG you addressing my comment in the manner you did showed another meaning to my comment “a force to be reckoned with” your work is truth and nothing can stand up to truth.
I am getting slightly emotional, I need sleep and to be over this extreme sunburn which is making my life a living hell at the moment.
Twilight
Your writing about force and energy is one I understand completely. You are the first to understand me. You do not attack other’s or always agree with HG, this is a fact. Between you and NA and the logic and nonjudgmental approach that you use on here, has caused me to have a respect for you and her like I have never had for anyone else. I hope you get some much deserved rest and are able to calm your ET and also recharge your energy supply. 😘🙃
Dear HG,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me in the way you have. Your lengthy response is very well thought out and explained and I can see and accept what you are saying.
Thank you also for acknowledging that a fair few of my points were correct 🙂 I appreciate that you have done that. It is indicative of an open and collaborative mind, which in a paradoxical way is more ‘forceful’ overall than simply pointing out inaccuracies.
I would be happy to continue to contribute in a constructive manner.
Then we have reached an accord and you are welcome.
He was right . You need to stop thinking this way . He laughs , and thinks God they are so dumb . You could lead a horse to water … bla bla bla . He is not just a narcissist . He is a sociopath ,all just titles that equal unmerciful cruelty to anyone dumb enough to tolerate it . Or everyone that crosses their path .
No,
You have a right to your opinion and beliefs, and so do we. Why do you have to come on here and make comments as you have done to us? Why do you not just simply make your comments to HG?
Actually, I do not think that the majority of my readers are dumb at all. I see a very small number as idiots (they are the narcissists by the way that occasionally come here) but the vast majority of my readers are intelligent individuals but misinformed ones. The fact they come here, read, debate sensibly and want to gain understanding demonstrates intelligence. Remember, very highly intelligent people fall prey to our kind – intelligence is not a defence to my kind – it is gaining my information and applying it through the reduction of emotional thinking and the application of my techniques which creates the defence.
Thank you HG. To people who believe us to be dumb, they have probably never been ensnared by a narcissist. It is comments like these that I am trying to ignore and keep my ET under control. Do you see how hard that can be? 🤬
I see it regularly FM1T.
It doesn’t help when I read inaccurate articles about how,what, and who they target.
Yes Bibi—bad/good is a really poorly encompassing thing because bad men do good things, good men do bad things. For instance, am I capable of ignoring a woman who has fallen on the street? Yes. Is H.G.? Yes. If I’m running just on time as is for an appointment that takes months to get into then I may look the other way. (Admittedly it would be hard for me and I’d ruminate over it.) H.G. may benefit from helping—likely would. He may help when I do not. The difference is he won’t ruminate after choosing not to help.
I think you must learn not to care, FM1T. Wether HG is good or bad, that’s irrelevant.
I think HG is not here to heal us. Our healing is our own responsibility. He’s just showing us the landmarks of this process, and even those, mostly what we should avoid. Do NOT contact, get OUT (i.e. not inside), do NOT engage again, avoid them, and so on. Where exactly this “out” is, that’s up to us. And it’s only fair. He’s best at showing us where he is, not where we should be. So, healing is our part of the deal, we must do it ourselves, through ourselves, each in our way.
After this digression, back to “not caring” – I saw this idea, related to sexual performance, I think, on another thread – they can also be regarded as appliances. Well, why not? 🙂
Abe Moline
Healing is up to us, yet many can have all the information and still be caught up due to never healing the core wound and holding on to energy that was never the persons.
Twilight
That is something I believe I have not been able to do. Heal that core wound, that energy is still inside of me and I’m afraid perhaps it always will be. I am so glad that you understand these things and that for the first time in my life, I am able to start understanding what it is that I’m feeling. I was never able to explain these feelings to others because I simply did not understand them myself.
With me not understanding them and others simply not believing me, I started doubting it myself.
Twilight
For some reason until a few minutes ago, I had not seen that bigger picture. I am not blind to what he is and what he is capable of. But I am beginning to understand that I can not go against those feelings inside of me either, when I try to do that it causes so much turmoil inside of me that I struggle to function. Most will not understand this and simply say I am crazy, but I know Twilight that you understand, not only with your mind and the knowledge that you have, but you feel it through my writing.
Abe,
How can it be irrelevant if that is what this post is about? I just didn’t start righting I believe him to be a good man for shits and giggles! I wrote it because he started out the post as “I am regarded as a bad man” I am simply disagreeing with HG on this matter and anyone else that feels he is a bad man! I agree healing is are responsibility, I never said it wasn’t. HG gives us the tools and also the guidance ( through consulting with him) to do so. Yes I know some are here only for the knowledge that HG gives them and that is all. For me not to care about someone who has helped me so much is something I just can’t or won’t do. That would make me know better then a narcissist, which uses people and what you can receive or learn from them for there own benefit only. As for the second part of this comment, I do not understand what you are referring to or trying to say about sex and appliances, so I don’t want to comment about what I think you are referring to until I know for sure. Have a great weekend, wherever you are in the world! 🌎🙃
FM1T
He says he is regarded as a bad man, not that he is (or not), or that he regards himself as such. And not that everybody regards him as such. He says “perhaps”. Actually, I think he does not care much… why should we?
It’s a contradiction, just like the title of the post actually, “dark angel”. I am just putting it aside, like many other things about narcissists, and don’t attempt to comprehend much. To me, it is not important.
The reason I brought healing into discussion is for you to see that he is not the one doing it. He gives us the tools, and for that deserves praise, but the work is ours, and that’s where we deserve the praise, not HG.
About appliances – I meant that we can extrapolate that way of thinking from the sexual area to any other area. Yes, it’s a narcissistic way of thinking, but sometimes we should be white devils too…
I somewhat understand your point of view too, FM1T… Personally, I think it’s mostly emotional thinking.
Abe
I think setting it aside is the best thing to do.
I will not change my mind on this subject regardless of what anyone says. As you wrote it’s not important to you, HG doesn’t care what people think of him ( as for being a good or bad man)so why should I care? Because I do! Perhaps if more people did we wouldn’t be having this discussion right now. Yes it’s emotional thinking, but it is not controlling me on this subject as I am sure most people including yourself and HG think it is. I am an emotional person and I will not bury or hide them, I should not have to! Your comment about somewhat understanding what I’m saying also, is kind, but it is not true. You yourself said on a previous comment in another post, that you really do not have much emotion, and questioned yourself as to whether you were a narcissist or not. So with that being the case there is really know way that you will ever understand what I am saying.
Abe
Actually on a lighter note my friend. It is probably a good thing HG and I do not know each other personally, he would probably overdose from all the emotions ( fuel) that flows from me! Ha ha 🤣🙃
Not when there’s a gargantuan void
I was joking HG
HG, This is just a test, I am trying to become familiar with my new lap top.
FM1T, he is not joking…
HG. I wonder, what is actually your internal reaction when people, despite your effort to explain that, from the empath’s point of view, any deeper relationship with your kind is doomed and “bad”, so what is your reaction when they still consider you a “good” man, or that you can still be “cured”. Is it frustration? Amusement? Do you feel challenged in any way? Fueled (I guess this one is probably true)?
I am not denying the usefulness (“goodness”) of your work here. But still… that’s like what you’re continuously trying to hammer into our brains… “get away”, “we cannot be fixed, we don’t want to be fixed because we’re not broken”… and some still don’t want to believe that everything you say also applies to you!
Hello Abe, no I know you are not denying the efficacy of my work, I know how effective it is. I also know that for some people it takes them longer to ‘get there’ owing to the effect of emotional thinking.
I often explain that there is no magic pill, moving forward is akin to losing weight, you will not drop two stone overnight, you have to apply the right information and stick to its application.
I have the best information – YOU have to wield it though, I cannot do that for you. Some people do so with greater ease, many people do so with effort (and it does take effort) and a smaller number fall prey to emotional thinking and don’t fight.
Do I feel challenged? No, but I like a challenge (I see embracing a challenge as different to feeling challenged)- I persevere because it’s a win/win when progress is made.
Do I feel frustrated? No, I understand why some people maintain the views they do. Ultimately it is their issue isn’t it, not mine. I know what I am explaining is correct, I know why some people do not grasp it and that is not my fault, so it’s not an issue.
Abe,
I know he is not joking, I was! HG does not get fuel from us, if he does then it is a very small amount. This is an addiction that some of us have dealing with are whole lives. For some just seeing the red flags and actually taking notice to them are a step in the direction. Feeling yourself falling into that vicious cycle once again and stopping before you go to far is another step. HG does not care one way or another if we take his advice or not. As long as he knows his information is correct and he is getting from this what he wants, that is all that matters to him. So I do know, and I do work very hard at applying the information he is giving us, it is just taking me a bit longer then others!
That comment is an embarrassment .
I’m a confident liar
Had my head in the oven so you’d know where I’ll be
I’ll try to be more romantic
I want to believe in everything you believe
But I was less than amazing
Do not know what all the troubles are for
Fall asleep in your branches
You’re the only thing I ever want anymore
Now we’ll leave the silver city ’cause all the silver girls
Gave us black dreams
Leave the silver city to all the silver girls
Everything means everything
I was afraid, I’d eat your brains
‘Cause I’m evil
H.G. I have a question and was curious what your thoughts were.
Do you believe that Cluster B personality types would be prevelant in parts of the world where people are impoverished, lacking basic human rights in some cases? I sometimes wonder if the environment that feeds the disorder is one of privilege. But then also understand having a lack of control such as the extreme cases I mentioned may feed the need to have control over other people etc.
Perhaps I didn’t word that correctly… I am not trying to indicate that narcissism is a choice. I don’t beleive people are born that way.
But I do wonder if all the privilege we have access too contributes.
Just curious if that’s something you ever thought about.
Hello Empath007. you are correct. The circumstances mentioned are one of a lack of control environment and therefore where there is a genetic predisposition then narcissists will be created. Who you think is keeping the people impoverished, lacking basic human rights etc?
Yes that makes sense completely.
Thanks I appreciate your answer!
Hello, H.G.Tudor.
Some people don’t even read this post, they find out.
But well, each person has his or her own rhythm.
I go for free.
I think I’m too evolved to follow the slow pace of some.
Although my comments may seem and are what they are, because I already see clearly.
The evil dwells in you, because it is empty. Your state of self-esteem is null at dawn and fluctuating during the day. You need your despicable actions in order to regulate your self-esteem. The same one that disappears daily when you fall asleep, and is nourished and repaired through your devaluations and psychological mistreatment, through the contrast with the positive and negative fuel.
Some readers believe that it should not be said so harshly.
Maybe because of your treatment? Don’t take this as a criticism. Here we all are under Tudorite treatment.
But treatment is just that, a treatment that attempts to mitigate and control and minimize as much as possible their interactions with their victims. It doesn’t cure, it simply mitigates your narcissistic disorder.
In our case the same thing happens and people don’t know about it. To cure us or to heal us that is difficult like the narcissist, we need to recover our nucleus. Healing the narcissistic wound inflicted on us during our relationship with one of you. That I have to remember. We have to rebuild a new core. This is difficult and it will take us years to rebuild our core from the void. Because at the end of the day, HG, it is not true that the pain and anguish that we experience is not the same as yours?
Do you think I should moderate my comments?
Are they disrespectful?
I lied about something.
I’m talking about you to you!
And I’m not going to help him! Make no mistake!
And the reason is clear to me.
The narcissist sees the help as a criticism towards his person, a superior being does not need help and therefore rejects it. And it disgusts him, creating and reflecting on the even greater loss of self-esteem.
You and others like you, to cure or heal would need to be reborn again and this can only happen when you go into some process of narcissistic shock. The depression that they don’t want to go through by nurturing us. So easy and deadly.
We, like Pearl Oysters, will need years again to create our nucleus again. Working hard and layer by layer on a grain of sand of self-esteem.
That doesn’t mean I don’t respect your work and your work. But one thing does not take away the other, you are a narcissist and therefore the badly made flesh.
Some people, referring to previous comments, believe that their work is disinterested.
Mmmm! How wrong they are!
You say clearly:
“This is not done as an altruistic act; such a concept is anathema to me. I have my own agenda and my own goals to achieve as a result of this exchange of knowledge…” and continues…
But according to some, I extend myself a lot, I’d better leave it here…
I leave this comment to your choice to publish it. My comments are usually a personal dialogue between you and me, mainly, because these are my thoughts. And these will not be changed by comments from third parties. It’s been a while since I started to set my limits. Just because I respect you, does not mean that I submissively bend to any control or will alien to my person. I am no longer that one day I was!
I mentioned it in my hard tone when I wrote this comment so clearly and rationally cold. But previous comments make me verbalize things coldly and harshly.
Thank you 🙌🏼