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Does the narc enjoy the romance too? I would imagine them some of them get swept away in the moment too and feel like a movie star? Or that they would love the feeling of watching their victim react positively to their Oscar winning performance? It’s got to be fun for them too, just in a different way then we’d expect.
We ‘enjoy’ the fuel.
This is how I truly feel when I love someone…
I have been following along with the rest of these and will admit that none of then really applied. However I heard a variation of this from Piano Boy. “I love you to the moon and back again.”
He used to use the moon and stars reference when posting stuff on FB about his wife and kids.
* yawn *
I’m cured !! The feelings for him are extinguished!
And thus , he lost the power over me !!
It’s a damn great feeling !!
He can rot in hell now !
“I would do anything to kiss you right now.” 🙄
Joanne…I heard the same thing.
Ummmm I did not know this was a thing for all Narc parents. I heard stuff like this all the time throughout childhood.
When you have a love of poetry, the greats like Keats/Poe/Wordsworth/Blake/Byron … meh… i’m working on being too mushy, too in love with love and believing bullshit like this.
Presque Vu,
I get what you’re saying. Beautiful sentiments, or even emotionally dark but intriguing sentiments, in poetry and literature have had a moving effect on me since forever.
It’s difficult, and also unsatisfying, to admit and accept that those kinds of romantic concepts don’t exist and it’s all idealised bullshit. It’s like someone telling you that you shouldn’t enjoy cake or chocolate because they’re full of fat and sugar and will give you diabetes. Yes, logically that’s true, but life would be harder and uglier if all we had to think about and ponder was logic.
WiserNow
Would it? Or do you think we may just take more notice and be more appreciative and satisfied with what is real and available to us?
NarcAngel,
Yes, you have a point.
Since crossing the emotional sea and becoming more logical and being able to stand back and see the bigger picture and my own part in that picture, I *can* appreciate what is ‘really’ happening.
I am still empathic and I still feel emotions so I can still enjoy my ‘cake’. I just need to accept that too much cake is not healthy or satisfying and should only be eaten for a treat or after a sensible meal 😂
Now that I’ve written that cute little metaphor about cake, in actual fact, I think I’ve used reading and films as an escape or distraction or reward from what is ‘real’. I think it’s been a form of disassociation. It has enabled me to remain involved in narcissistic situations and yet be detached enough not to be completely engulfed by them.
It’s a strange kind of double-sided sword in a way. That ‘romantic’ escape found in poetry, literature and films was answering my need for a kinder, gentler more idealistic world. I needed that in order to keep a part of my real self while living in a selfish and hostile reality.
The downside was that it was deepening the emotional sea I was in. By hoping and believing in an idealistic world, I tried harder to make ‘my’ world that way. It wasn’t until I learned about narcissism that I started to see things differently.
I am better able now to see the value in logic and to understand what is real. Plus, I have better control of my emotions.
Thank you NarcAngel, for helping me to better understand my own mind :-)
There’s always Gertrude Stein.
One of them travelled quite often and said he was always happy to be away until he met me. He then wanted to come back home as soon as possible to be with me.
No moon and stars but similar.
A perfect example of how gullible and naieve I once was. If a mannequin could speak this is the type of drivel that would spout from it’s mouth. Oh dear!
…aahh, thanks but no thanks. I have no use for the moon and the stars and God only knows where I’d put them…
But I’d be open to some honesty and genuine consideration… how does that sound? :-)