Good Intentions
I want to give you my perfect love.
I want to look over you, protect you and care for you. I want to spread my wings and shield you from any harm that might come your way. I want to see you smile. I want to hear your uplifting laugh. I want to see you shine.
I want you to feel adored and special, I want you to feel my love for you that is beyond anything you have ever known before.
I want to feel your gentle touch upon me, I want to engulf you in my all consuming and never bettered passion, I want you to moan in delight at my touch and caress.
I want to be with you every moment of every day. I want to hear your voice calling my name. I want to see your texts filling my inbox. I want to see your name listed several times amongst the missed calls.
I want to be your sun so I light up your life and you orbit around me. I want to be your sole giver of warmth and life, the very thing, the only thing that you come to rely upon.
I want to dress you in finery, the best that I can afford. I want to see you wear what I suggest you wear and that you put that dress on just for me.
I want you to breathe my air, letting it fill your lungs and tasting so sweet that you will never want to breather the air of another.
I want you to see the world through my eyes, I want you to think the same way as me, I want you to anticipate my thoughts ,words and deeds as if you are living through me.
I want you to be a part of me. I want you to not know where you begin and where I end. I want you to taste what I taste, hear what I hear and speak with the same tongue as me.
I want you to become within me, assimilated into my being, an extension of me. I want you to discard everything you have known before and embrace me in totality. I want you to cast away your identity, your support groups, your social networks and instead be utterly dependent on me for your every need.
I want you to forget who you were.
I want.
I guess the sad thing is that I used to think this was entirely healthy to do for a man and that if he did not want these things, then he must not love me. So, I was happy when he wanted all of this, and I found it an honor to give these things to him because he was “my man”, and “my everything”. It was all I knew. I am still in the middle of the fence in not knowing which is the “old way” or the “new way”. I was groomed for the “old way” my entire life. I have not yet had the opportunity to put into practice the “healthy way”. I have purposely distanced myself from relationships for the last several years. So, some day, I will hope to try the “new way”. It will seem strange to me… this new way.