The Voice of The Reader – No. 1
Want to know more about the impact of my work and what it can do for you?
I can tell you how effective and brilliant I am.
The work also speaks for itself.
But here’s evidence from the readers, read it and judge for yourself.
Become free through HG!
62 thoughts on “The Voice of The Reader – No. 1”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I must reluctantly agree that you are effective and brilliant. It is a fact, and my refusal to recognize this would not make it any less accurate.
Your work does speak for itself and you are an excellent writer. I appreciate your succinct style of communication. Where I was once simply horrified by what I had read, I continued to read. Now I find myself simultaneously amused and entertained, as well as informed on a very complex subject to a degree that I have been unable to find anywhere else. I am now an addicted reader. My first addiction to a narcissist.
You deserve recognition for the work you have done on this matter. My previous comment stands, however, and it creates an inner turmoil in me as I can’t decide if I feel respect for you or contempt for you.
Thank you and moreover demonstrating such a constructive and open minded approach to my work should not only be applauded but it’s the foundation for achieving freedom.
Die Proven
Why do you have to choose?
It would end my inner conflict. But for now, I will keep both options available, and utilize each as necessary.
Good point.
Please remind me that reading these testimonies does not mean I should break no contact
And suggest this page to my narc.
You get out and you stay out.
Thanks. The emotional thinking was triggered by reading narcs come to the realization of what they are. I’m good though. I’ve mAde it this far I’m
Not going to turn back now
I’m rarely critical, but I have found the testimonials difficult to read due to the background graphic. They are super cool, but do interfere with the type. Just throwing it out there that it could be off putting to new readers.
I renember cara! Her posts made me laugh bc they were so truthful in her narcissism a bit like HG’s.
Will enjoy reading these!
I liked her too.
Are these meant to be testimonials? I am confused.
Yes.
Wow what a blast from the past HG! I remember her. You have come along way since your first posting 4 years ago, and have helped thousands of people to heal and understand. With each passing year I have watched not only them but you also change and gain even more knowledge on your path to telling the world not only about narcissists but also telling your story. You are the only one who could have pulled something like this off, yes the truth is brutal at times and you have had your share of the ones who doubt you and hate you, the many hours you have put into this, perfecting this, creating a world of knowledge and safety for so many could have been done only by a narcissist himself. I applaud you and thank you for the knowledge and support you have given me and thousands of other people over these last four years, I wish you continued success and a lifetime of happiness ( fuel! ) my friend! You will be someone that will always hold a special place in my heart and that I will never forget! Congratulations!
Fool Me One Time 💞
Thank you FM1T.
Reading that; my up bringing was similar… but what made you a Narc and me a people pleaser?
RG
This article should answer your question.
https://narcsite.com/?s=cope
Thank you K. Guess it’s our brain chemistry as to where we end up … narcissist, self harmer, cryer, empath, people pleaser….
He was ugly and unworthy of me on meeting me yet I didn’t want to disappoint
Him for the effort he’d made in talking to me and wanting to meet me… I then learned that his ugliness ran deeper than the external.
My pleasure RG
GPD makes all the difference in personalities and, like empathy, it runs deep and they cannot change.
I agree HG Tudor is very informative. I was finally validated in my observations after a lifetime in a narcissistic family, marriage, and society.
The problems are that he doesn’t give practical solutions to dealing with smearing, blackmailing, life threats. Also, understandably because HG is a narcissist unburdened by altruism, the best advice he gives comes at a financial price. There are also some limitations on the usability of what is available through his blog. t has a gap when approaching his advice from within a strongly narcissistic culture. The advice assumes a certain level of
Yes I do.
Read Smeared – that hardly costs anything.
Threats – see the article earlier today (which costs nothing) and the book Escape (hardly a cost which breaks the bank).
Blackmail – that is a crime, go to the police. It is also a threat – therefore see above.
This place is full of practical information and it strikes me as churlish to expect everything for free. Do you expect your dentist, lawyer, doctor, car mechanic to do everything for free? Maybe you do.
Agreed HG. Why do people expect everything for free??
A sense of entitlement (does not mean they are a narcissist) but that is what it is.
Not to mention we value most what we work/pay for in any area. HG’s pricing is very reasonable/competitive, but more importantly, actionable. Most therapists are not solution oriented, nor spell out what works. You could have therapy for years and pay thousands of dollars and still not resolve your narcissist problems. Far better to pay a small price now, and get the precise solution you need from the preeminent expert immediately. Even though I am generous by nature, I never give away my professional advice for free unless it is for a very good cause.
Very well articulated, FYC.
All good points FYC.
From my perspective, when I think of all the money, time and heartache I invested in my narcissists; HG’s consultation and assistance package fees are a small, small price to pay and I’m investing in my own narc-free future and peace of mind by doing so.
Thank you, HG.
Thank you, WhoCares. Excellent points of your own!
HG is worth much more than he charges. He is a world leading expert and pioneer on narcissism. The therapists I dealt with were not just ineffective, they were HARMFUL. When I was already destroyed. HG was the saviour from years of abuse and confusion. Talking to him is extremely validating. He understands!
Thank you Whitney.
I see no issue with charging money for a service. And the vast majority of readers would agree.
Perhaps it’s just differing perspectives (if I learnt anything from my relationship with the narc it’s that we never had the same
Perspective lol) but… I think Leslie calmly states her opinion. She doesn’t seem
To have an attacking or entitled tone in her message. But that’s just my opinion.
There are parts of the world, which has universal health care coverages for patients. So things like the doctor and dentist are covered fees under taxes.
Perhaps that’s somewhat where she’s coming from?
Just playing devils advocate.
Personally I’ve always approached your As it only makes common sense you’d charge for more detailed things… it is your time, absolutely you should be paid for it. And readers have choice as to the level of feedback they would like. That all makes sense to me. But people are allowed to have their own opinion.
Indeed and you make fair observations. It is interesting though, is it not, that Leslie has not re-appeared and acknowledged the cogency of the points made by numerous people. There would be nothing wrong with replying “Now I have had an opportunity to read these points, I realise I was wrong in what I wrote.’ She of course might be busy about other matters, but I do not see Leslie as a problematic person and it would assist her to have read the constructive responses and admit a change of position. That would also please the many empaths because they will have seen they have helped her.
Correct, the silence is telling.
I love how you say “about other matters” that always makes me smile.
Anyways … likely that’s what it is but perhaps she also feels comfortable with her position and doesn’t see the need to change it?
Many employment benefits cover expenses such as therapy (counciling) relaxation therapies ( massage, acupuncture etc). There are also in some parts of the world free alternatives to this covered by the government and their taxes.
I have two points to add to this:
1) therapy is a difficult one, if you’re not dealing with a therapist who understands narcissism (and most don’t) they can actually re traumatize the victims. I went through a bad therapy experience and decided to take matters into my own hands and your blog (for me) was the most helpful due to the fact that I really enjoy, to
The point, TRUTHFUL information.
2) getting back to the money… your sight helps empower victims.
But you are clear about what you are and why you do this. This is not an act that needs to be covered by health care. This is a personal blog that provides people information. It is a personal choice whether people choose to pay your or not for a service. I find it amusing to watch people’s reactions when for
Example, you leave for a time… saying “why didn’t you tell us you’d be gone?” While the services people are paying for should definitely be notified… I don’t see why the readers should.
But that’s just me.
As for Leslie. I just don’t see what was wrong with what she said. Or why she should apologize. It’s not as though she was rude. 🙂
Have a good day HG!
No, she was not rude, that was not the issue, she was incorrect in terms of failing to realise that the topics referred to are in fact addressed.
Her observation with regard to cost of my services is a matter of opinion and the responses of others evidenced alternative opinions.
G
In reply to your last comment (below, there is no reply option)
I just simply see everyone’s viewpoint on the matter.
I respect that you are able to correct incorrect responses/assumptions.
And I also respect Leslie’s opinion.
That’s all.
I agree the silence is telling. It is kind for Empath007 to defend Leslie, and I could almost see those points, however, her word choices do not indicate such a scenario. She states you do not give practical solutions to smearing. This is factually untrue (you are quite detailed on the blog and in your book, and offer *bespoke* counsel for a very low price for an actionable plan from the expert. She then thinly veils the insult that to ask for payment for services rendered denotes narcissism. This is false, no matter what profession or country you live in or culture. HG proposed a fair and reasonable solution at a most reasonable price. Any professional empath would do the same. I agree blogs have their limits, but KTN gives far more than most. I am very pleased that Leslie came around to seeking a consultation. I am confident she will be so very pleased she did and I hope her smear and threats become a distant memory very quickly. I sincerely wish her safety now and all the best in her future.
I don’t mean to be mean by jumping in and contradicting. While it may be the case that the silence is telling, there are other possibilities on potentially why the silence.
Word Press is not working for all of us. I know that no matter how many times I request to be notified of further comments, I don’t receive any notifications in my email. Based on comments from others, it appears that I am not the only one with this issue. I personally cannot remember the name of all the articles I have made a comment. True she is not commenting on many different articles; however, do we know that she caught the name of this one before moving on?
Another possibility is the amount of time she can spend on this site may be so limited that she may not follow comments as much as she is reading the articles.
Hi Getting There, You make an excellent point about WP and I do apologize if I was too harsh, but I still feel uncomfortable with the implied intent of her original message. That said, maybe she miscommunicated. In any case, it sounds like she will now get the help she needs and that is what is most important.
Hello, FYC.
Your message is very kind. I can understand the belief of the silence considering what many have experienced personally regarding silence or based on what we have seen on this blog with other commentors.
I see your point on the original message. I had to read it many times to understand the response it got but I can see now why the response from you and others. I am not sure that was her intention of messaging but it could have been. I personally struggle on this blog when reading comments like this as I watch people wanting to defend HG; however, I don’t always read it as an insult to him or his work. I think it is great that you and others rare willing to support HG and others when you recognize lines appearing to be crossed, and you have done it in a respectful way.
That’s great that Leslie is seeking assistance from HG! I have a strong belief he will be able to help her.
Hi GettingThere, Thank you. Your response is most kind. I apologize for the delayed response, but I am on travel and have limited access.
I cannot recall other comments of Leslie, so I did not have a frame of reference. I can recall several pieces of valuable, actionable advice by HG on this topic for free on the blog (e.g., when to go to authorities, when to ignore, how others respond to attempts of defense, methods of smearing, etc.). When someone needs specifics for their situation, a private consultation is the appropriate solution for many reasons. The fee is quite reasonable and I cannot imagine why anyone would feel entitled to have such a service be free? I do hope she got what she needed as it sounds like she is going through something awful.
Part of what empowers us is having clear values and boundaries and respecting both. Everyone is worthy and needs these basics. Personal responsibility is equally important versus victim mentality or learned helplessness. When the latter emerges the person suffering does not have their own legs to stand on and this perpetuates a cycle.
I feel protective of others when I perceive they are treated unfairly or inappropriately. In general, I defend what I believe or perceive is just, when I feel it is appropriate to do so. I do not always get it right, but I try to be appropriate and fact based even when I am annoyed. I also have no problem with others doing the same with me. I want everyone to have a voice. When we do we all learn and grow. I have certainly learned so much here and am grateful to all who contribute in a positive way.
I know HG does not need my defense, but when I speak up I feel he deserves it. I respect and value him and his good works and he does not deserve to be unfairly judged simply because he is a narcissist.
Thanks for your perspective, GettingThere, I really appreciated your comments.
Balanced and accurate, thank you FYC.
Thank you, HG, and you are very welcome.
Hello, FYC.
Thank you for your response!
I’m sorry I meant comments from others on why they don’t respond not specifically Leslie. Based on her previous comments, it appeared to me that she is in a society that believes that she belongs to her husband. Other women where she lives have committed suicide to escape. His mom hears him beating her and does nothing. I think someone thought she lived in Africa, once, but I don’t know if that was true. She escaped with the help of someone once but her husband found her.
I hope you didn’t feel that I was criticizing you or anyone else for defending HG. I think it is great that people will do it when they feel it is needed, and I especially like how you stay respectful doing it! I was trying to say that I don’t always read other comments the same, so I don’t always understand the responses. I understand it is an issue for me and not others; it is based on how I perceive things. Reading is hard for me to see criticism unless it is glaringly obvious like “you are all idiots.” In person I pick up things easier. As for a comment like Leslie’s, or similar, the way it originally went through my head is similar to if someone were to say “Getting There, you are mean” after I was unable to meet their wishes. I take it as them venting their feeling at the time due to the situation and not an insult.
This is how I read Leslie’s comment originally:
– Her comment on not having practical information on smearing: cultural and societal differences impact the ability for the smearing impact. I read it as her venting that her perception was that the information provided by HG in books and articles may not have matched the cultural/societal situation of which she lives. My internal thought was HG has said things that didn’t match my situations but I understood that people and situations are different and I can learn the basics from HG and do what I need with it to apply to my situation; or I get a consultation where I can get more specific and he can provide direct input. I am not sure how much of HG’s information in books and articles match situations where society and local law enforcement matches those societies’ thoughts as I have never lived in one.
– Her comment on consultations:
They cost money and narcissists don’t do things for altruism. I read it as just stating and venting something and not expecting. It would be illogical to think that HG doesn’t provide anything for free considering his writing and his responses on his blog. Weren’t his ebooks free for awhile and he only got money if you went to the very last page? (Sorry, I read a couple online but like the hard copies so I stopped and don’t know if it is like that.) It didn’t hit me that she was saying that HG doesn’t help for free as that wouldn’t make sense considering evidence. I also took it as venting as I don’t know her money situation and how much control she has to do what she wants with money.
To me this blog has given people a voice where they have had none and a realization that they weren’t crazy. The feelings behind those voices are built up like volcanoes that I can understand that some are eruptions while others are slow controlled spewing. I think that adds to the reason that I don’t see some of the comments the same because I am viewing them as people finding safety and understanding in tapping into hurtful (even buried for some) places. I remember hearing about concentration camp victims and eating after being rescued. They were so hungry but their bodies couldn’t handle it in the way some wanted to eat. In a way I can see this blog in a similar fashion: people starving to have a voice and be understood and some not considering controlling it to maintain a healthy balance for themselves or others. Basically venting is healthy but can cross boundaries, and that is very respectful that you can recognize where it has crossed and where to step up. The response from you and others helped me go back and look and see what I didn’t, so thank you.(Please note that I am not comparing things to the concentration camp just the response to eating after being free!)
I think your point on boundaries, personal responsibility, and victim mentality was an important one that hit me! Thank you! While I do protect others as well and will fall on my sword to protect, your comment has made me wonder about myself and who I protect. Obviously this new thought is not applicable to my son. I do need to do some self analysis on what you said and how I personally apply it.
I hope you have a wonderful trip!
Hi Getting There, Wow, thank you for all of that background information, it certainly casts a new light on Leslie’s original communication. I see your points, and now more than ever hope Leslie spoke with HG.
From what I have read, it is not uncommon for repeatedly abused people and kidnapped victims to be severely psychologically affected to the point of believing they are powerless and incapable of escape. And in fact, in some cultures and situations, escape can cost a life. HG is clearly the only person with the insight she needs right now (and hopefully he has experience with such a culture/experience).
No, I never felt criticized whatsoever. You actually did me a favor in causing me to reflect on my motivations regarding speaking out. I thank you for that. My intent is to be a positive and fair voice while I speak up. Yet, as is true in so many areas of life, things can be complicated and not what they seem on the surface. I will keep this in mind in the future.
Thank you again for your insights, Getting There, they and you are most appreciated.
Thank you for your kind words, FYC!
You are a voice of support (for other commentors and HG) and a voice of respect. I look forward to continuing reading your comments with you continuing to be that voice.
Getting There, you are most kind, thank you, and I look forward to reading yours as well!
Leslie,
I personally haven’t opted for the counselling route, I like to essentially work things out myself as much as possible. Just my preference with most things in life.
I thought I knew a lot about Ns pre HG, but that was incredibly naive of me. I could never have worked worked out what I have learned here, not in a million years and I’m still learning, every single day.
I’m sure there are some excellent professionals out there who can help, who are non-narcissistic, but for me, I have not found any information which comes close to this site.
HG’s fees are in line with, if not considerably cheaper than other professionals in this field. When I have used HG’s services, he provides a thoroughly detailed answer. It is concise and does not lead you off in directions which you do not need to be led.
in my view, it is money well spent.
I agree with your last sentence, which I believe you were going to finish by saying it assumes a certain level of understanding, which is true. I was fortunate enough to have followed the blog from almost its inception, so when HG begun his consultations, I had sufficient understanding to make the most of the consultations.
However, I do believe most people finding this site will have some degree of knowledge and HG is skilled at tailoring his response to your level of understanding at any given time.
Thank you AS2016.
His consult fee is half a private psychiatrist for the same time slot—at least in my region. People with resources in the states don’t see psychiatrists on their insurance plans often times due to electronic medical records. Pay with cash and it’s all private. I trust my discussions with HG are private and his work is the best available. Counseling is good for groaning which is sometimes counter-intuitive.
Thank you Claire.
Hi Leslie,
The following articles are about the smear campaign and character assassination:
The Dirty Dozen
Why they can’t see it too?
Blind or Stupid?
Smeared – 5 Reasons Why Smear Campaigns are so Effective
Smear and Loathing – 6 Reasons Why Smears Affect You
Six Seditious Smears (and how to clean up)
Muddy Hell
The Paranoia of Character Assassination
Mr. Tudor gives a lot of information and advice for free on this blog and also on YouTube. He has answered questions from us readers below those articles. I would have a look at his answers in older articles too.
His book Smeared is really inexpensive and it has a large amount of useful information and advice. Highly recommended.
Consultations are most helpful because they are tailored to your needs. They are longer than a therapy session (60’ minutes instead of 45’) and cost less. There are email consultations too.
Thank you EB, an ‘Evidence Blast’ if I ever saw one.
You are welcome, HG. I followed your advice in your book Smeared 🙂
HG approves.
Come on, Leslie, he gives away so much for free! I still go and see my analyst, it’s 80 $ per hour, 3 times a week. I know I’m worth it, and getting treatment that is worth my money and time makes it more than fine not going on expensive holidays and not driving a car etc etc. I can do all that once treatment has ended. My analyst is giving me a discount because I would have trouble financing it long term but it’s still a lot of cash. And just because HG is a narc he should give away absolutely everything for free? Where is the logic in that?
Hi leslie…time is money. There are only so many hours in a day and if you require more than whats offered here of course you should have to pay. Were lucky to get what we do here for free.
Correct.
Hello, Leslie.
How are you? Have you been able to escape your husband again? How are things with your children?
I understand that some societies will allow what your husband has done to you, and law enforcement of those societies turn their heads. I am not sure if you are currently living in that type of society or if you can go seek protection from the law. I don’t know how you would apply some of what HG has written if in your situation. It is not because I don’t think you can; it is because I don’t fully understand your situation. I would trust that the best route would be in a consultation if you are able to do one.
Hey Leslie, start by reading his books if you cannot afford the other form of advice. I read almost all of HG Tudor’s books and they are very intriguing and helpful. I’m waiting on the Asylum of the Grotesque. Hopefully it will come out soon…
Thank you Sniglet.
So humble! The most brilliant of minds yes.