How To Co-Parent With A Narcissist
Often viewed as one of the harshest outcomes from an ensnarement with a narcissist is the issue of children and co-parenting with the narcissist. A frequent question that is asked of me by many individuals who find themselves in this predicament, worn down and unsure of how to go about this in an effective manner for both themselves and also their child or children.
The most common reason given to failing to implement total no contact is the issue of shared parenting with a narcissist. The attempt to escape the nightmare of ensnarement is viewed as unachievable and increases the concern, fear and anxiety for the non-narcissist parent in feeling eternally chained.
Using HG Tudor’s established expertise with regard to the field of narcissists and narcissism, this Assistance Package addresses a wide range of matters in an easy-to-understand manner, with practical advice and tips which have been successfully used by individuals co-parenting with narcissists and all based on HG Tudor’s unrivalled understanding.
This Assistance package covers
Co-Parenting as part of your no contact regime
Tackling handover arrangements with regard to children
Reducing the risk of being hoovered because of co-parenting
Handling hoovers if they happen through the co-parenting regime
How to address communication with the narcissist with regard to co-parenting
What to do when the narcissist becomes problematic concerning arrangements
What to do where the narcissist involves a new partner with the children
What to expect in terms of the extent and regularity of the narcissist’s involvement in the co-parenting process
How to deal with joint decision-making, such as matters of education or health
How to handle occasions where joint appearances occur in relation to school or sporting events
Plus much more ground-breaking and supportive information.
To receive this information which costs US $ 125 for a comprehensive Assistance Package which you can access in your own time and at your own pace, simply use the PayPal button below to make payment and you will then receive a Common Sense Protocol which governs the Assistance Package and the Assistance Package itself.
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27 thoughts on “How To Co-Parent With A Narcissist”
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The miracle is that I have seen those bathed in darkness plant seeds that are drenched in light. Though he was dark, his offspring are kind, caring, and compassionate. Thanks to The Lord, Jesus Christ!
I’ve advised on twitter to this package many times
Thank you for doing so.
HG, what explanation can this situation have?
1. Girl adopted at 8 years of age,.
2. Very sensitive and loving girl, and her adoptive parents never give her any affection.
3. The girl’s adoptive mother only criticizes her all the time, she seems never happy with her.
4. Girl is already 12-13 years old, and has been without any show of affection for 4-5 years, and living hell in her adopted home. The girl desperately searches for someone to connect with, and is socially isolated, so she turns to the Internet.
5. The girl chats online, and meets someone who wants to have sexual conversations, or too intimate, with her.
6. A few years later, the girl turns on her adoptive mother’s computer, and finds the same email on the computer, with which she chatted years ago.
(It was the adoptive mother, who used an email, without the girl’s knowledge, to chat with her over the Internet, too intimately)
Possibilities.
1. Someone else had access to the computer and has framed the adoptive mother.
2. The girl has made the tale up to gain attention ; or
3. The adoptive mother is narcissistic or a narcissist.
The provision of further evidence would allow confirmation of which one.
There are so many good kids that could benefit from decent environments and there are some really shit people adopting them for their own gains. I’d love to provide a safe home for the right child under the right circumstances one day.
Noble.
I’m not noble. It would be a substantial consideration and a huge financial piece to consider because they should be entitled to the same benefits as the other children and this includes inheritance, education, etc. It would have to be a perfect fit at the right time.
Ah Lorelei, it is so true!
A family who lives local to us used to do short-term foster care. They had their own children of similar ages to those they fostered and it was plain for everyone to see how they pretty much treated the foster child as though they were cinderalla. Their own kids on pedestalls. it was disgusting and made me feel sick. They were only in it for the money. They don’t do it any more!
I’d love to foster one day too, when I’ve considered this pre N. I would have opted for a troubled teen hoping I could love them into growing into a healthy individual.
Sadly I now know that is far less likely than I had first thought. I would have to be selective, which in itself seems unfair.
Yes Alexis! It seems unfair but we can’t “fix” if a teen is a narcissistic individual. We can guide an empathic or normal kid into successes and opportunities though. Unfair—sad but it’s reality. Selectivity is essentially a must. Also—I wouldn’t bring a kid involved in certain poor behaviors around my kids—it’s unsafe/irresponsible.
Tudor, thank you.
Will this book help us to exorcise any traits out of our children that they might have picked up from their Sociodads?
1. It is not a book.
2. It is not designed for that purpose, that is a separate Assistance Package which is in development.
Thank you so much!
You are just overflowing with surprises these days HG. You do know the way to the empath’s heart!
Agreed, MB. The co-parenting package is excellent; I’m looking forward to this next assistance package.
Whocares—I’ll never forget a friend telling me once to offer kids endless choices to help them have a semblance of
control in their environment. Down to the color of their toothbrush. One scoop
of food or two.. Simple but consistent things. It can’t hurt right? I don’t think my younger three had a lack of control environment to the extent damage can’t be mitigated, although triangulation is big with their dad. I can’t wait to hear more on this.
Lorelei,
Yes, I think offering choices is so important, especially when they are demonstrating a sense of independence. I also allow mine to express his anger – as long as he doesn’t use hurtful behaviours – for example; he has written angry letters to me lol when he’s frustrated with rules or losing his privileges. Which is fine; he usually regrets them later anyway…but at least it curbs other forms of acting out. I just feel like our culture has no where appropriate to put our expressions of anger.
Also, I worry about him being ‘victim tenderized’ – so I protect from contact with the narcs as much as possible.
I don’t know if these are topics that HG will address in that package but I’m sure it will be helpful regardless.
One topic of importance HG—“traditional” discipline for kids that have been in abusive homes may well be largely ineffective. I’m gaining the most traction with being really creative. Girls fighting yesterday. Ok—the first person to walk away for ten minutes gets a prize.. It’s not “I’m going to beat your whiny ass..” The prize was a grilled cheese sandwich made extra crispy just the way she liked it on a pretty plate. Fighting stopped, it was still communicated as unacceptable. Their dad just yelled and occasionally smacked them. I was incapacitated on a couch. It was a deplorable home. I am looking forward to it.
Lorelei,
“The prize was a grilled cheese sandwich made extra crispy just the way she liked it on a pretty plate.”
That’s fabulous. And creative.
I think sometimes when you ask kids what they would actually like for a “reward” you would get some interesting answers.
My little guy even “rewards” me – if he thinks I’ve been a good mom that day – I earn “extra coffees” – because he knows I like coffee.
I had to take a deep breath and think on my feet. The joke is really on her—it was already time for dinner:). I’m trying to back away from using things and money.
Good for you! Thinking on your feet is really key when parenting…and so hard to do when worn down by narc nonsense. I’m so glad I’m out of the fog and trying to get back to being the parent that I want to be.
“I’m trying to back away from using things and money.”
THIS. Yes. It’s so hard, in our culture, to change one’s relationship to things…and so easy to give in to this pattern of reward. That is the purview of the narc; creating attachment to things. Never enough ‘things’…
Whocares—I was in a fog a long time and ended up even worse than that the final few years. It’s a ton of clean up. 💕
❤️
Yes, Tamara. In the same boat. My daughter’s father is trying to train her to be another Harley Quinn. It’s not even normal narcissistic parenting, its sociopathic parenting.
Anm,
It’s frightening what these kind are capable of doing to their own offspring, without remorse.
I’m just grateful he’s deceased, quite frankly.