Watching You Crumble

WATCHING YOU CRUMBLE1

We don’t provide support. We are too concerned with ourselves and our daily hunt for the fuel that we need to be concerned about you. We are engrossed in our own world and have no interest in yours. The only time we pay attention to you is when you are providing us with fuel or you stop providing us with fuel. Everything we do is focussed around us. This is because we have to obtain fuel, as without we will disintegrate. The hunger for this fuel is never ending and accordingly all of our energy must be applied towards obtaining it. This leaves us with nothing left over for anyone else.

Being a caregiver yourself, you would like to think that the person who you share your life with, or who you work closely with, would be amenable to providing you with support. That may mean giving you emotional support when you are experiencing a difficult time or taking the strain allowing you to lessen the burden on yourself. You give and you are happy to do so, therefore why should they not do so as well? That is the outlook of someone normal operating by the norms and rules of your world. Those do not apply to us. We cannot provide you with support since we have nothing available to do so.

Added to that we do not know how to provide emotional support. Yes we can see how chores can be done and the like. We also have observed the ways that you provide emotional support to other people and we know the phrases that are used, the expressions that are formed on people’s faces and the gestures that are made. We have seen all that and we could trot all that out. In fact we have done in the past. We did this when we were seducing you. When we wanted you to divulge about your weaknesses and vulnerabilities this will have invariably saddened you and upset you. It may even have caused an episode where you need emotional support. We were happy to go through the motions then because we were at the stage of investing in your in order to get our fuel. We were content to make the right noises, give you a hug and make the panacea that is the cup of tea. All of this was learned from others. We did not feel anything for you. We could not put ourselves in your shoes (heaven forbid that would ever happen) and we could not empathise with what you were experiencing and nor can we ever do that. Yet again, we conned you into thinking that we are a caring and selfless person. We demonstrated such an approach when we were first together and that attracted you to us. This raised expectations that you could rely on us and turn to us when the need arose. It is all false.

Furthermore, when you need support and expect it from us, you are showing to us how you are weak. We despise weakness. You will find that our kind is rarely found near children, the infirm and ill and the elderly. This is because they are all weak and want support regularly. We do not want to be reminded of that fact. We cannot be bothered with you cluttering up our route to fuel. An exhibition of weakness infuriates us. A normal person would see someone in a position of weakness and deign to help and assist. We have seen how this is a natural reaction in normal people. It will not happen with us.

If you are fortunate, we will absent ourselves from the situation in an instant. We will generate some urgent reason; find a pressing engagement we had forgotten about in order to ensure we can get away from you and your ailment, woe or injury. You probably will never see us move as quick when it comes to getting away from somebody who needs help. If we are unable to exit the situation then we may just stand and look at you. You could be reaching out to us, eyes filled with tears of pain, asking for help and we will just give you a blank stare. We know we ought to be helping you, convention and observation has told us this, but we cannot do so. We are unable to leave but we are also unable to help you. This requires compassion and we do not have any. It requires us to us our energies to help you out and we are forbidden from doing so.

Our ultimate reaction where you need support from us is to go on the offensive. The uncomfortable feeling that you have generated inside of us makes us feel less powerful and smacks of inferiority. We know of only one way to banish such a sensation. We need to reassert our power and that means we must lash out at you. It becomes necessary to subject you to further insults and denigrating comments, at a time when you are feeling hurt and vulnerable.

“What are you crying for? I have had worse happen to me.”

“I am sick and tired of you being pathetic. Deal with it.”

“I bet (insert name of triangulated individual) would not make such a song and dance about it like you do.”

“It’s only a dog, you can get another one. Seriously, what a display over a dumb animal.”

“You are hysterical, you need to get help.”

“Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.”

“That’s right; make it about you on my special day.”

We will lash out at you with these words in order to make you feel worse and ourselves feel better because that is all we care about. We fooled you into thinking that we care about you. That is a fallacy. Do not expect us to support you.

Demonstrating our legendary hypocrisy we will expect you to always be there for us. When we have a need you must attend to it straight away, even if you are experiencing difficulties yourself. When we have a scratch we expect you to make it better even though you might be bleeding to death before us. As with so much of our behaviour we do not regard the way we act towards you as meaning you should behave the same way towards us. If you chopped us in half you would most likely find this stencilled through us like lettering on a stick of rock

“Do as I say, not do as I do.”

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25 Comments

  1. In a normal, mutually respectful and fulfilling relationship, when one person is feeling something isn’t right, it can be discussed and hopefully amended. Because we care about each other. In the relationship with a narc, nothing you say or feel matters. Your feelings are not welcome at all, they have no weight and to express them is to be spouting madness, rubbish and nonsense. You might try rewording or coming from a different angle to get this person to meet you halfway, to get to a place of contentment in your relationship, but it will never happen. It’s like shoveling sand against the tide.

  2. “ it is only a dog.. “ ” What, you want to go to the vet because the cat is sick?!Big deal! Why you would bother? Just dump her on the street and you can rescue another one from the pound! “ This was my ex narcs reaction when the cat was unwell.

    “ you are sick?! With disbelief and anger from the fact that I had a bad cold. “ if I knew in advance that you were so ill, I won’t merry you”! “ your job, big deal!” Later , at his company’s event” Yes, this is my wife! Please , let me introduce you to her. Yes, she has a good job , she is … ! Yes, I am a lucky man!” The false picture of a blissful couple ..

    1. FM1T

      Good question.
      At first glance, I noticed:

      The header’s changed. HG has ‘Knowing the Narcissist: HG Tudor’ as the title now.
      The ‘evil’ logo is reserved for IG comments..

      The flames are gone.

      There is an accurate and inviting (non-empath-repelling) subheading that appears under the title.
      It’s a pro-social, professional presentation which is in keeping with the evolution of the services and products offered at narcsite.com.

      I hope that it gets more ‘foot traffic’ on Google and YouTube.

      There’s probably more that I haven’t seen yet….

        1. HG
          The flames remain?
          So they do! They’re at the bottom of the page.
          My apologies!
          I wondered if you’d perhaps made them an HG-exclusive now, and had your Weaponised Empath Apparel designer make you up a few pairs of ‘evil flame’ undies.
          I guess SM would ask awkward questions, so that’d be a “no” to that idea.

      1. Caroline
        I noticed these things but thought nothing of it because updating and keeping things fresh is just good business sense, and the way to have success with advertising your product. 🙃🌻

        1. True sweetie.
          Thank you for your reply.
          I noticed the change in font and header primarily, but when I read your comment I thought that I’d play “Guess What’s Different @narcsite”.

          I didn’t see anything that made me react as Sniglet did.
          Maybe she and NarcAngel were in different parts of Tudor Mansion than I was….

          1. Caroline
            I did notice a difference yesterday in one of the post. The back drop black and the letters white, but I really liked it. Lol

    2. FM1T
      Yesterday when I replied to a comment and it took me to the page it had a black background. I really liked the moody vibe. Today it’s back to white. Maybe it changes depending if we are painted black or white by Mr. Tudor. I’m kidding of course about the painted part.

      1. NA
        Thank you. I Noticed the black background yesterday as well and liked it. Sometimes the same thing all of the time gets old, kind of like strawberry ice cream. 😉🙃

      2. Yes the same happened to me – but I thought it was because I was viewing from a mobile platform instead of a desktop. I did think oh shit!! I’d never want to piss a greater off!

      3. NarcAngel
        It sounds like yesterday you were taken to the corridor leading to the dungeon, but they’ve done renovations, so it looked different.

        Hence the moody vibe.

        Are you still there?
        Will we come and do a jail-break for you?
        Do you need food?
        Wine?
        A toothbrush?
        Will we leave you to enjoy yourself?

      4. NarcAngel, I liked the black too. Given that it was night in my location when I discovered that, I thought maybe we could have it switch depending on our timezone like a nightvision. Or narcvision.

        1. I’m painted black again! I do look radiant.

          * does the halloween cat stretch and raises tail so nearby narcs can read my Black Hole *

  3. Did someone or something die? Don’t give up your day job/s….HG – The shock of this site change makes me feel like I’m in the bowels of hell.

    1. Sniglet
      I suspect that you were accidentally whisked off to the dungeons.
      The minions have fixed the elevator.
      They bought it second hand from Willy Wonka. It needed a service before anyone got into it.
      OH&S minions will email you an incident form to fill out….

  4. OH MY GOD! (not referring to you HGT) What the hell did you do to your site. The black color is not working well for readers. The site makes me feel like I am in a dark room and cannot find the light switch.

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