Fuel
15 thoughts on “Fuel”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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This book pairs very nicely with the article 3 Key Interactions with the Narcissist that was written.
Although I had read many books and articles about narcissistic abuse in the past, it wasn’t until I came across this book that I realized how little I knew about fuel (a.k.a. narcissistic supply).
First, most authors restrict the concept of fuel to admiration and praise and forget negative fuel. Victims of narcissistic abuse are wrongly advised to shout at the narcissist or rage back. This is not only feeding the narcissist with fuel but also exposing an individual to violence.
Second, the few who write about negative fuel mention verbal communication only.
Last, none of them warn that most non-verbal cues such as body language and gestures can be fuel to the narcissist.
HG Tudor’s Fuel is the only book that explains the concept of fuel in depth and includes real life examples to make us aware of our behaviour when interacting with narcissists.
In my opinion, this is the first book every survivor of narcissistic abuse should read to be aware of their own behaviour and to learn to protect themselves.
Thank you EB.
E.B
I agree. Fuel along with Fury, Sitting Target, and Sex are the core foundation for understanding the behaviours and I think mandatory. Then branch out to the others for interest and guidance in various situations (Escape, Exorcism, etc). But nothing beats a consultation.
Thank you NA.
All should read the first two fictional books too. Very good.
HG approves.
😳
NA,
I had a Consultation. Because it was my first time, I was at a bit at a loss as to what to ask HG.
What are the prime goals of a Consultation? How can I get the most out of it? I got a bit distracted and was too excited to even take in anything that was said. 🥺
Unless I can calm myself down, I will only be able to benefit from email Consults due to my excitability. I couldn’t even sleep the night before the Consultation, nor could I eat the whole day!
So really, due to my own intense emotion, I was not able to comprehend anything, except I did get an incredible workout as my heart beat so fast, in utter fascination. I think I almost fainted. And, I had great fun talking with him! Can he be a monthly Life Coach?
I need to first learn how to calm myself down if I am going to benefit from Consults with M. Tudor. Perhaps, sedatives or tranquilizers… I’m not sure, really.
I think I need a few tips as far as how to go about getting the greatest benefit from a Consultation, and which questions I should be asking.
Tamara
I think it’s probably best if you list say 10 questions you want answered. Now rank them in importance 1 to 10 and concentrate realistically on having maybe the top 4 or 5 answered as he will need time to both solicit and provide additional information from and to you. If you get to questions 6 to 10 great, but if you don’t, at least you have comprehensive answers to the most important ones and can always book a subsequent consult to address the others if desired. A prepared list should keep you from freezing up or forgetting and wandering all over the place.
Constructive suggestions as ever NA.
NA,
Thank you so much for your excellent suggestions, and I will definitely keep this in mind (and on paper!). I really appreciate the time you’ve given to me to answer my questions. It means a lot to me, and I am truly grateful. ♥️
You’re welcome Tamara
NA,
Excellent suggestions for new survivors of narcissistic abuse who are new to HG’s work and want to know where to start!
I have always wondered about the order for these books. This is such great advice. It is so well done, NA. You ROCK!