The Super Empath
It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not to the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.
Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.
Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.
The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathise, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist must put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.
This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.
The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.
195 thoughts on “The Super Empath”
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https://narcsite.com/2019/08/14/the-super-empath-12/#comment-392688
I found this comment really interesting to read. When I read the last paragraph, it makes sense too.
Asp Emp, indeed, you provided a wonderful description! Thank you! You are the best “searcher” 🙂
—————–
Although I want to have fun again and taste this amazing, delicious and disgusting, hot and icy dish…
Everything is trembling in me, to provoke it again and I don’t know if I will stop myself 🙂
I have to take my mind off the real misfortunes and human pain for a moment… I need more selfishness.
It smells so tempting…
Joa, we NEED to take our minds off the misfortunes and pain momentarily for our own sanity! There is so much to feel sorrowful about all around us. If we don’t take a break from it then we are consumed by it!
That doesn’t mean we are selfish it means we are self preserving not only for ourselves but so we can regain/retain the ability to be stronger and fight harder against those injustices and misfortunes of so many others! It’s called self preservation but it’s not selfish it’s survival. We can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves first.
Have fun and take your mind off of things. You deserve it. It’s ok!
Don’t ask me where that came from! I’m awake at 0200 reading and writing frantically! Good ole insomnia! Lol
Goodnight and sweet dreams Joa. 😴🤗
Joa, thank you for your compliment 🙂 I understand the temptation because of the addiction. Have you read this article? https://narcsite.com/2019/07/19/the-golden-rules-of-freedom-no-4-5/ Stay strong, continue to fight 🙂
Asp Emp, thanks for pointing out this comment! It resonated so much with me and the description was so similar to who my ex was and how he communicated. He flipped the switch in me of everything wonderful that I ever believed I could find in a relationship. The use of words like sonar and how he used them to scan me for a reaction and all the while the words completely devoid of truth and meaning. The nothingness that was really so close to the surface yet hidden in the most beautiful and tantalizing words.
I often wondered as things moved forward about how the “connection” with his words and actions seemed off. Gradual at first, because of course they are wonderful actors! But, as time went on and that mask slipped more and more it was oh so apparent there was no connection there for him and ultimately for me either.
The comment you pointed to was point blank a perfect explanation of the dynamic between the narcissist and empath. Thanks for sharing it and thanks to Significance who wrote it! Joa is correct, you are a great “searcher!”
Wendy 🙂 Hello! Thank you for your response. Interesting to read what you say here about your experiences. I think you described it well RE: the facade dropping after the initial shiny ‘period’. I was pondering on that myself yesterday after reading HG’s video ‘The Emptiness Within The Narcissist’. And, no, it was not even an ET ‘moment’, it was just a thought. I think it is as time goes on, the more their narcissism gets a bit ‘jittery’, especially with someone who can analyse, or, seemingly to be ‘scrutinising’ (LOL, cos I do that 😉 ). It unnerves them but they don’t know why (again, LOL). It is fascinating that their narcissism responds through their instincts – so it comes across that they are consciously aware of their actions.
I was lucky to get away from that Lesser as he is very menacing and that appeared very rarely (mask dropped) when I was very in-his-face. He is not aware of what he is, I think his narcissism ‘responded’ initially, then he got ‘dark’ when I was an immense threat to his control. When I last saw him, I was only a few months into my journey here and my initial response was instinctual – I was scared and I ‘sensed’ his ‘danger’ more at this point. Now, I’d not be ‘bovvered’ because I have the knowledge, I’d be vigilant but not concerned.
Thank you for your compliment. It is good to know that I have my uses 😉 Yes, the original comment is good, hence why I shared it 🙂
BTW, your response to Joa is well written, I liked the part about self-preservation / survival.
Would a super empath be more likely to escape, than other empaths?
A supernova event, could that be triggered from influence of all narcissists?
Would a super empath also be more likely to notice there is something that is not right with her narcissistic mother or sister?
Would a super empath also be able to recognise that she has something in common with (some) narcissists, in the form of humor or such like, and in the sense SE’s narcissistic traits (f x vanity) are enhanced when under influence of f x narcissistic friends?
Would an super empath be more able to recognise that some people (i e narcissists) give them a strong sense of «wanting bells ringing», just by meeting the person first time. Do they have a stronger intuition than other empaths?
* a super empath
* warning bells
In broad brush terms, yes.
In broad brush terms, yes.
Not necessarily.
No.
Would you say Super Empaths have high narcissistic traits? It’s very easy for me to spot manipulation and I feel capable of doing it, but I have no desire for that.
I discarded my narc during love bombing (1 month in) when she was least expecting it. Blocked without saying bye after I figured it out. I enjoy knowing I “won”.
Yes they will have Mod High Narc Traits (and above) however the empathic traits will be higher than the narc traits.
100% correct, HG Tudor. At last, someone able to differentiate properly the different types and levels of empathies and narcissists. (I have also always though the ‘covert’ narcissist label inaccurate and wrong).
From HG’s description I am most likely the Super Empathic type. So co-dependency relationships have zero attraction for me. I think also I would find low level narcissists as dull and transparent, so they would be of no interest either.
HG Tudor I think is spot on to say that the Super Empath mistakes the intelligence and “emotional energy” and (false) strength of the Narcissist as something akin to her own emotional energy and strength. There is initially what seems like a focused, almost buzzing, recognition” as the narcissist ‘goes to work’.
In terms of my “relationship” it took 4 months of “madness” to realise the problem fully, but I got away fast once I realised what I was dealing with. I think it’s unlikely that I would have become the “doormat” empath – too much pride and a strong dash of narcissism myself (I think HG has alluded to this elsewhere in another video). But I did put up with some of his short term angry “insanity”.
What I saw was someone intelligent, interesting but also someone who couldn’t love and also someone with odd behaviours, and of course someone who could be abusive and scary. It was very clarifying in a way. Excellent understanding and analysis from HG Tudor clears it up further.
HG
My top of the list regarding the super empath, is that they seem to completely lack the people-pleaser smile.
Have you also noticed this?
Both narcissists, normals and other empaths have it, but the 100 % SE does not. When they smile, they mean it. (I have three SE friends)
You are correct.
HG, that’s an interesting fact about SE.
Asp Emp,
It is very interesting I agree.
Is the people pleasure smile when you do something nice for someone?
Eternity, Yes. I would say so and you can probably get the same smile in return. Depends in what concept it is as there are probably several ways a smile of ‘pleasure’ can be generated from.
I guess the people-pleaser smile is that typical thing we do out of politeness, or a nervous smile, or a PR smile. Or smiling when we don’t really feel like it,
lets say we have a terrible hair-day or a headache, and a friend comes over to chat at the grocery store or on the street. But we build up a smile anyway.
huh
Hi AC, this is very interesting. Is this only true of the 100% SE’s? Do you suppose their cadre affects this smile situation? Or is it specific to SE regardless of cadre? They are not fake at all, in other words, empathic, so a smile could likely come fairly easily, but not ever put on just for the sake of politeness. Very interesting.
Wow, this would also make their smile that much more fuel for the narcissists! Very cool to know, thank you for sharing that AC!
A Victor
I missed your comments, saw them now!
Yes, well, two of my SE friends can at times be mistaken for looking a bit grumpy “Bob Dylan ish” But they aren’t at all, they feel just fine. They’re just very steady and wait before they let someone in. As the friendship progresses, I often see them smile/laugh.
Hi AC, I think the part that caught my attention was the 100% Super. That percent must be very unusual. And I connected in the sense that I also do not smile much until I am comfortable, not due to insecurity but rather needing to know them a bit. Of course in meeting there is always a smile, to be welcoming, maybe that is what your friends don’t do. This is just such an interesting observation/trait, thank you for sharing it.
Very much agree A Victor.
Oooh interesting AC! You know the thing I always found hardest is when someone has a baby and everyone is cooing over it snd saying how beautiful it is but if it isn’t I just can’t bring myself to say that it is lol. Harsh but I just can’t.
Haha AS! Same here! 🤣
Some women are simply too nice with the compliments for babies. I admire that.
But SEs really differ like this (When they smile, they really mean it) from ALL other personality types.
I do appreciate the rest of us with our welcoming smiles, quick-to-forgive smiles, but when I want something/someone vouched for, only a Super empath can be asked. And they will give a solid opinion.
Decent post until you started in on “Super Empaths”.
I am what is called a “super empath”. I literally feel other people’s emotions the same way humans smell smells or hear sounds, etc.
Super empaths are made – usually by a life lesson with your kind. Very difficult, painful life lessons. Once we pass through those fires, we harden. We learn your energy signature and we never, ever forget.
I promise you this – a “super empath” is a person you narcs are unlikely to ever get a chance to exploit. Once we sense your energy we nope our asses outta there!
Let me guess, you have trounced the Greater Narcissist too.
Totally disagree. I was born this way and aware of the trouble it attracted from a very, very young age. I felt burdened. I inherited it from my paternal grandmother, and my son has inherited it from me.
It’s really fascinating in the beginning. Someone approaches you seemingly out of nowhere and flips the switch. Throwing sentences at you, making suggestions, touching a variety of topics, the tone of the voice sort of euphoric, delighted. As if talking to you was the greatest pleasure on earth. Quite entertaining, flattering too. But something is peculiar right from the start. It’s maybe a bit too enjoyable, the tone of voice too steady. And while you automatically scan the person you can’t detect any real characteristics. Neither what is said nor how it’s said reveals anything in particular. As if a warm waterfall of words was covering up a concrete wall. This person has definitely something going on. But what?
Funny when you start realizing that this person is trying to scan you, too. But his method is so different from mine. I am actually communicating or at least I try to. This person seems to use words like a sonar. They reveal nearly nothing, their only function is to search for reactions on my side.
That was my first impression of that person with a narcissistic personality disorder. This odd feeling of never being connected, of never really communicating no matter how many hours and in the end years you’ve spent “knowing each other”. You always wait for the moment this person will finally show up, but it never happens. Neither in his best days nor in his worst times. Although I certainly added a lot of emotions into it from my side. But even then he was sort of … ghostly. Cold but shallow waters.
And it’s right, you sit out a lot of manipulative behaviour. That’s so strange, too. You see what the person is doing, it’s repetitive, too. You’re even amused sometimes and try to give a friendly hint: Hey, you. Stop pretending I was not seeing you. But it doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t see you at all. I mean after the third time you’ve figuered out the pattern. You see it coming before it starts. But not having the knowledge of the true nature of this consciousness, that lacks any deeper interest in anything than chasing quick sensations, attention, all kind of substitues that might make him up for not profizing from human connection and is – how exhausting – always seeking to control the situation including you. Showing no empathy although not being truly evil. It’s just careless. Absolutely careless regarding any other person.
So yes, if you stay you will be seen and treated as a bait, which gives you the role of a victim, but sometimes you will be also feared as if you were the cat chasing the narcissistic mouse. Especially when you refuse to react to him but let him waste his energy in unsuccessful games. At these occasions he could become paranoid, feeling observed and weak. Becoming very needy and frightened.
It hurt too much as time went on. If you spend so much time with a person that is so engaged in denial and delusional thinking you get in trouble yourself. It costs huge amounts of energy to protect your own psyche from these distortions and even more empathy to tolerate this little grinch. And any inattentiveness of you will likely be used against you. As well as any revelation will serve him as a weapon the sooner or later. Not to mention all the stories of seduce and exploitation you will witness and being told. To which you feel obliged to response in clear words. It’s totally exhausting, it changes nothing and finally you get it together. You only waste your time if you stay. This being is captured in his own world and doesn’t perceive anything as do, including your person. He only sees traits, possibilities, advantages. His world is quite restricted and flat.
Still it was a very interesting time and seeing yourself confronted with such a mercyless personality structure you’ll learn a lot about your own weak points, where your boundaries are too loose for example and that having a lot of empathy doesn’t serve everybody for the good but is sometimes just a delicious supper for a way too hungry person. And last but not least, words are cheap.
Significant, is one of the best descriptions of the empath-narcissist relationship, that I have read.
Thank you!
Narc used me for 4 whole years ( finically emotional spiritually every way but sexually) until I woke up, he gets married in a few weeks to a wealthy ex supply. Can I get him to stop calling me – but then I’m not sure I want him to go… honest I enjoy hurting him back for the years of abuse he has given me when I was asleep. Narc cant understand why I drive him crazy – but its because I know have the knowledge of his manipulation his strengths and his weaknesses but most of all his game plan and need for supply. I could honestly write a book about him. I only know the wife to be in passing but she seems to have firm boundaries which I’m happy for.
Id like to know why he wont just get lost and why I enjoy taking back my power and my power to bloc his plan to gain control over me again despite getting married in a few week. I honestly believe Im the only empath he has managed to not manage. Also he knows I possibly have windfall on its way could this be the reason
1. Put the fact of him marrying a new appliance out of your mind. Use the fact he will be focused on his golden period as he embeds the IPPS as an opportunity for you to reinforce Total No Contact.
2. You cannot make him stop calling you, but you can change things so he cannot do this, change your number. Problem solved.
3, Not wanting him to go/hurting him – emotional thinking.
4. He is managing you, he will be getting fuel from, you are the one suffering the adverse consequences and you are topping up your emotional thinking, but you cannot see this.
You need my assistance as a priority and therefore you should arrange a consultation using this link https://narcsite.com/private-audio-consultation/
Contact his wife and ask her to tell him to stop contacting you(granted, tell him to leave you alone, that your “beyond not interested”, as a final warning before going nuclear.). Sit back, and enjoy the fireworks, and then go strict no contact. Move on, but take what you learned from your experience, to look for red flags in the future.
The reason why you keep getting drawn in, is due to animalistic impulses. A form of imprinting caused by the way the human brain works when we form a relationship(similar to how newborn birds imprint after being hatched).
This is incorrect.
“Contact his wife and ask her to tell him to stop contacting you(granted, tell him to leave you alone, that your “beyond not interested”, as a final warning before going nuclear.). Sit back, and enjoy the fireworks, and then go strict no contact. Move on, but take what you learned from your experience, to look for red flags in the future.”
Bad advice. Contacting the wife is a breach of no contact. She will not be amenable to what is suggested, this will also result in a malign response from the narcissist. You should implement no contact.
“The reason why you keep getting drawn in, is due to animalistic impulses. ” No, it is caused by your addiction to the narcissist and the emotional thinking which creates Flawed Logic which you follow and end up being duped and drawn back in again, thinking you are making a good decision when you are not.
Very clairvoyant post, some thoughts:
I was wondering if, from a clinical point of view, a SuperEmpath might be a healthy or recovered person with BPD adaptations- so probably above 25 years old, because based on my personal observations it seems that the dynamic you describe is present in that kind of profiles.
The SuperNova which you addressed in other posts sounds like a defense mechanism a BPD would use in case they were “in control”- a BDP has no emotional control, but a recovered/light BDP, though scarse, would be strong, keep intact the affective empathy and have the tools to quickly identify manipulations. They would also have knowledge on NPD: they have done some inner work for their own recoveries or learnt to manage their adaptations, and they would probably come from a family with narcissistic dynamics.
For example: a high functioning scapegoat can develop some BPD adaptations from the narc dynamics but can recover or/and become quite a healthy person, especially if the ties with the family are cut off, then this person can remain an Empath with “covert BPD adaptations” which could come to light to protect him/her if exposed again to that familiar dynamic, the SuperNova would be triggered as a BPD defense mechanism- a BPD usually hurts back the abuser with great impact, pushes away and disappears when danger of hurt is perceived, and as they lack object constancy, they can “switch off” the affective empathy and resist the hoovers.
A BPD would come back and would be destroyed because of the emotional disregulation, but a healthy or recovered person with a similar defense mechanism could escape for good (especially if they have done it before with their family).
This would also explain the attraction between narcs and SuperEmpaths, as SE would feel a certain familiarity (“being home”), he/she would lack some normal intimacy skills because of their upbringing, and many manipulations can go under the radar as he/she would have spend their childhood exposed to them and are used and not so impacted by the abuse as other person could be. Thus they have a really high resistance to the abuse, they cope with abuse with great ease because they were trained by their family and resisted many years of narc abuse before escaping or recovering, they know how to deal with it and might not even realise for long because it is perceived as normal.
(sorry for the mistakes as English is not my first language)
Hello Dina and thank you for your contributions and observations, there is no issue with your English. The Super Empath is not a recovered person with BPD adaptations. “A recovered BPD” is actually someone with PTSD who has recovered, most individuals with “BPD” are in fact Mid Range Narcissists and thus they cannot recover because a narcissist will never change.
HG,
Can codependents drive super empaths crazy, too? Why is that? I find that they drive me crazy just as much as narcissists do.
Ordinarily, no, however a reduction in emotional empathy on either side (or both) could lead to this.
Oh my god! I was just saying this to this person yesterday. I said that it is like she has low emotional empathy. I think she can feel for me sometimes, but it is low sometimes. And sometimes, I get so mad from her driving me crazy that I don’t care how she feels. Okay. This makes sense.
Do mean when you’re like “gurl just dump him already!!!”
And they are like “but I love him!!!”
And you’re like “grow the hell up!!!”
And they are like “you don’t understand..”
Yeah it’s long! haha
My best friend is like this. She would rather be in an abusive relationship, then be alone. She’s on narcissist number 3, even though number 1 and number 2 did serious damage! The bizarre thing is she sees it, she knows they are narcissists and she continues in the relationships anyway. I just continue to be here to support her but it does get tiring.
at some point you’re not supporting anymore you are just enabling. she has a problem and she needs to address it. it’s not your job to fix her as it is not her job to fix her toxic partners. she is becoming a toxic person don’t do with her through that loophole. cheers
She certainly isn’t toxic to me, just toxic to herself. Only she can make the decision to stop allowing narcissists to abuse her.
Exactly!
HG, do empaths have masochistic traits?
I did enjoy the drama, the relationship was never boring. And I knew how to reel him back in during his silent treatments. I would shower him daily with love messages until he reacted (I’m impressed by myself about the words and language I used, I’m not a romantic person, and it made me laugh). Sometimes I was even disappointed when he responded.
Is my mind making this up to understand this craziness?
Yes, they self-flagellate.
Self-flagellation is the perfect term.
My (Russian) narcissistic father used to call my submissive grandmother “Joan of Arc” and ridiculed her “martyrdom”. She raised me and my siblings. His entire life he addressed her formally.
This fits me so well I feel exposed, haha. This and the Magnet empath (I can’t walk outside without someone telling me their life story, although oddly I don’t mind). I may still take your Empath detector at some point to confirm though. Excellent read.
Do greaters primarily only have Super empaths as IPSS (Making it “safer” for those in the other categories)?
No.
I meant IPPS
Do mid-rangers shy away from super empaths as IPSS (don’t want to make effort on a secondary source)?
No.
No they bloody don’t!
IDo greaters primarily only have Super empaths as IPPS (or is that just your particular favorite flavor of appliance)?
They can vary.
My guess is that when you’re a narc (even a greater) and you need to replace an IPPS you can’t be too picky about the class of the empath when you’re running low on quality fuel, so while a super or even a codependent would be preferred a G.narc will make do with whatever shiny empath they can get at the time?
Yes Hg is amazing no matter what I will always keep returning here
I love this blog and it really does help even with life in general
Hg is NEVER mistaken everything he says rings true that is an absolute
You will learn to see manipulation, you will even know when to predict it , like a chess player .it’s a great gift HG has given to those who are willing to learn
Kiki
As an empath, I feel that my childhood was supported, respectful, etc. When meeting my narc ex’s mother, however, I sensed a nasty and verbally abusive air about her; the type to lose it over a dish in the sink.
Of what type of environment/parental treatment does the Mid-Ranger come from?
The same as any narcissist, one where there is a lack of control environment, Herbst.
One of the best reads ever! 🙌🏻There’s so much material on www about narcissism but no one explains it the way you do! 👏🏻
Thank you Elena, I shall be using that quote.
HG, why are you in your Wellies in your gravatar? Are you insinuating anything by wearing them here?
The brand is apt.
Love my Hunters! But they’re black.
Catholic Black?
I’m unfamiliar with the term. What is catholic black?
The black of the cassock.
Kel2day
I believe they’re Hunters.
Correct.
Even one as perfect as The Shieldmaiden has gotten stale 🙁
As you’ve said before, devaluation can last a long time. Some kick ass residual benefits there, as well as a luscious GP to be paid back. What a shame, HG. But quite good for our education. Thank you for sharing.
Who said she has gotten stale?
I’m jumping to conclusions. I stand corrected. I’ll behave. I’m not one to start rumors. Carry on. Nothing to see here.
Oohhh!! Thanks NA, no wonder I didn’t understand his reply that the brand was apt!
Think about it kel2day. He’s educating us. Many thought he wouldn’t after the GP. They were wrong!
MB, After the GP, wow! That was subtle then, very sharp of you to catch it!!
He will surely correct me if I’m wrong. (But I don’t think I am.)
MB: What is being said here? It is so cryptic. The boots are Hunter Green? They represent something. I have the feeling that you all are saying something different, but think you are saying the same thing. Am I wrong? What is being said by each of you? I bet you are all not saying the same thing.
PSE, Cryptic is how your dearest HG rolls! His boots are called Hunters. He is hunting up some IPSS action while he’s in NYC to provide contrast to SM’s recent devaluation phase commencing. He will be needing a new IPPS in a year (give or take) depending how devaluation progresses. Being a Super Empath, she may not take the shit and bounce on him and he will need to be somewhat prepared.*
*This is all speculation on my part.
I’m not hunting any IPSSs
Hmmmm. But I have it part right?
This is how far out I am from all of this HG. I thought you just picked that picture to use as your gravatar, I remember it from Instagram when you were at one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. ( also because I own a pair of hunters ) I guess I’m just use to you being cryptic on Instagram but not here on the blog. Guess I’m getting extra homework!
I took the reference to hunters being apt means he’s a hunter in general. And as for IPSS’s I’m guessing he doesn’t need to hunt for new, there are likely a good selection he could take off the shelf if need be.
Correct SWM, although I do not need to take off the shelf.
HG
You best order a minion in to dust your cobwebbed shelves. The residents are drying up waiting and falling into disrepair. Some of them have not aged well and there are loose eyeballs rolling around.
Ha ha, guess they won’t be coming off the shelf at all if they are in that state, NA!
You’ve written that wives and IPPS’s get devalued, I think it’s to keep them in control and so they stay the way you like them. They also have to put up with the cheating.
Would you marry an SE or are they too contrary to trust?
And were your boots a hint?
I would marry if I deemed it advantageous.
No.
They have to be a hint if the brand was ‘apt’. Ok, maybe I was waaaaayyyy off. I was trying to make it more exciting in my mind. (Fantasist that I am!) You have a host which means somebody invited you there and is paying for it. Sounds like it’s a run of the mill consulting project. HG solves major problems, right?
MB
Do you really think he is in NYC? I am really off today because I didn’t believe he was. I really have to start paying more attention. 🤦🏼♀️
FM1T
I wouldn’t be surprised if he is……he is everywhere 😉
Twilight
Yes he is everywhere, I just cannot allow myself to believe everything I see on Instagram when it comes to pictures and timeline. HG is just always one step ahead of us. 🙃
FM1T, way more than one step ahead! Just enjoy the games.
I always do MB, I always do. Lol
Sorry Twilight! I forgot who I was commenting to! Hahaha! There was something else that had my attention at the moment. 😉🙃
FM1T
Something or someone…..😜😘
Twilight
I have no idea anymore! 🤣🤣🙃
FM1T
I soooo understand, I have had moments like that myself
Twilight
For some reason I seem to have more and more of them lately! 🤣🙃
OMG! It was to you MB! WTF! This standing in front of me right now is very nice indeed! He has me all worked up!! Lord a man should not be allowed to that good! Hahaha
FM1T
I know, I believe what I feel and not what I see.
In reality I don’t care if HG is in NY or London, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he actually was in NY now
Twilight when it comes to HG feeling doesn’t work for me. Show me the proof! Lol
Remember the force my Padawan…..ha ha FM1T I understand.
For me energy never lies it is what I see that messes with my ET and causes it to run wild 😜
I would probably laugh if HG tapped on my shoulder and asked if I believed what I saw now. My laughter would be cause from him scaring the hell out of me cause he is one of few I believe can “mask” himself until he wants to be seen.
Twilight, I’d pass out if HG tapped me on the shoulder! Or die. I might die! Believe it or not, I do play out these fantastical scenarios in my neurotic mind.
MB
I do believe you let your fantasy’s run wild when it comes to HG.
You are correct Twilight. I spend much of my time in my head. Fantasy is my friend.
MB, I wouldn’t call it neurotic. Maybe fantasizing, creative, daydreaming, idealistic, imaginative…
Thank you Sweet P. You are too kind 😊
Yes FM1T. I really think he is in NYC!You follow IG, right? The purpose is unclear, but some business had to be handled there. Somebody must have needed HG to bring his stick all the way over from London to sort some things.
I did see the pictures MB. I’m just not sure if he is there right now, or if those pictures were taken at another time and he is somewhere else already. I don’t believe everything I see. Lol.
You don’t believe New York exists? How strange.
HG, do not start this today sir. Yes I know NYC exists, yes I think you took pictures while there visiting. I just don’t believe you are in NYC at this time.
Unless I see you holding a sign standing next to the Statue of Liberty saying I am here FM1T, I won’t believe you are there HG. 🙃
Your lack of faith disturbs me FM1T.
HG I have faith in what you teach me. Which is nothing is ever what it appears to be! Show me the proof! 🙃
HG can any school of empath go into super nova mode, or are there only certain schools that do this?
Any can but it is most likely the Super Empath. Many people think they have an Empathic Supernova but they do not.
Thank you HG, I have seen this written many times by all types of empaths and I wasn’t quite sure.
You are welcome FM1T. Have you bought your outfit yet?
Not yet HG, hopefully going shopping this evening, there was actually more than just one outfit HG. Lol. 🙃
Ha ha, rumbled!
Hahaha! 😘💞
HG, If this was next week, I’d think you had acquired Taylor Swift tickets for the Central Park Concert and I’d be more jealous than you could ever imagine an empath capable of. You’ve probably already listened for research purposes, but I post here for those that might not be fans like we are! Ha Ha This is a prime example of lyrics being totally different since finding your work. No telling how I would have interpreted this B.H.G. I can assure you it would have had some degree of mushy though. This is crystal clear to me now. (Still a fan! Just not under the spell anymore.) https://youtu.be/8KpKc3C9V3w
MB
He was Probably at Trump Towers selling him the London Bridge!
I love NY. 🗽 It’s such a fun place to visit. ✈️
Did you see what he did there MB?!
I take note of his acronyms now due to a mistake I made once before (tried to pin him down) 😭
Wow, I am so confused. Is SM in devaluation now?
Joanne, I fear that I have been the cause of this devaluation frenzy. I had a hunch that she had entered devaluation and I threw stuff out there that I should not have done. HG is not confirming anything which makes it even more mysterious. Don’t believe anything regarding The SM and her status with HG unless and until he writes it. I apologize for confusing the Tudorites. Carry on with your hope for the New Dynamic. We have no reason to be concerned yet.
MB
I am still hoping for the new dynamic to be a success 🙏🏼
I know Joanne. Many are rooting for HG and SM including me. I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and speaking out of turn. I should not have done so.
No apologies needed, MB. We all speculate on things. I am curious though! Hopefully HG will post a relationship bulletin soon 😉
MB,
I don’t know if you realize there is a pattern that the man up stairs follows concerning SM and himself. I don’t know how long this will continue, especially since I’m putting it out there, but here is what I have observed.
Whenever HG has not posted pictures of SM and himself for awhile, usually know longer then a couple of weeks, people everywhere start assuming she is in devaluation. If you have noticed there has been a lot of new things going on with the blog lately, which may have limited his availability to travel? However just like clock work after a few weeks of this, pictures of the two of them together traveling to some beautiful location is posted and the golden period continues onward! He definitely likes keeping everyone on there toes! Hahaha
Kudos to you FM1T, you follow the evidence rather than speculate.
Thank you HG. I am trying HG, I truly am trying.
HG
I believe many are projecting their experience with their narcissist and the timeframe of the GP and subconsciously expecting you to behave similar and seeing anything that “hints” at a devaluation means you have begun.
I believe thou when the time comes and it will come your awareness and desire to continue in a pro social way will be the determining factor on if this works or not.
I have also been thinking about your choice of not informing your GF of your personality….you would never know for a positive You can overcome your narcissism (no I do not mean you would be cured of it).
Your first two paragraphs are correct.
FM1T, I haven’t tried to figure out any patterns on IG. I can tell when it’s Fuel Fizz Bomb Friday (or getting close). Sometimes his giddiness can be felt all the way through the Information Superhighway. I always pay attention to his hashtags too.
MB
I really didn’t try to figure anything out. It is something that I just do, it’s like a natural instinct to observe things that others don’t. I’m not sure if it is another survival technique that was built in all those years ago or not? Now if I can just keep them in the forefront and look for the proof instead of letting my ET take over, I may actually get through all of this after all. 🥰
HG,
Is there a difference between the behavior of a Dirty Empath vs Dirty Super Empath with regard to their spouse (so not towards the narcissist) during the entanglement as IPSS?
If yes, can you explain a little?
Thank you.
It depends on how the spouse behaves.
Good question! It amazes me how many people stay in relationships/marriages when there is infedilty. Just goes to show what a complicated subject it is.
I am a super empath and believed I was codependent also but after I read this I realized I am not codependant. I umasked/exposed her and I escaped from my greater narcissist 4 months ago. I have already healed myself about as much as I think I can as I am more focused on healing other survivors now. I may have some things to improve still and knowledge to gain. The only real issue I seem to have is financially. I believe I left a severe narcissistic injury when I left her not that it was my intention but I think I may have gone supernova more than once. It took 5 years to realize exactly what was going on after nearly losing my life and sanity several times. Right before I left she said “your going to kill me I know it” do you think that was projection or a true fear that I would kill her? I told her “I’m not going to kill you” in a calm manner as I meant it. I did have to fight those thoughts for 3 months after I discarded her but I am over that thought now. Also I’m very intrigued as to why you are putting this info out there? Are you just that high level of a narcissist you dont care to be exposed as one? Also where do you get your fuel? Is there a constant primary source in your life? I’m very fascinated by you. It just doesn’t make sense to me that you seem to behave so non narcissisticly when you admit you are. You remind me of a hannibal lecter type character but he was locked up and didnt need to wear a mask. Very long post I know, but there is so much I want to understand from you. I listened to every youtube video of yours in the beginning of my leaving her and it greatly improved my understanding of your kind.
Also the email I recieved from angel assistance with the attachment to download wouldn’t save nor was I able to view it. Do you think I just need to update my Adobe acrobat or pdf viewer? Maybe i will attempt it with an actual computer not my phone. Thanks in advance.
Use a computer or a phone which is not clockwork!
Is the Super Empath more likely to teach the Narc a lesson if he provokes her? 😉
The SE will assert themselves in the face of such provocation. It will not amount to teaching a lesson because that would suggest learning from it and the majority of narcissists do not do so.
HG, can a SE be born to normals/empaths – or does at least one of the parents have to be a narcissist?
I understand that a genetic predisposition must be present and I would like to know if exposure to narcissism during the formative years is also necessary for the creation of a SE.
Thank you (as ever).
Hg, ” can a SE be born of normals/empaths – or does at least one of the parents have to be a narcissist?
I understand that a genetic predisposition must be present and I would like to know if exposure to narcissism during the formative years is also necessary for the creation of a SE.”
I am interested also. I asked somewhere but assumed the answer was buried in your blog so you didnt answer?
Maybe you can point us in the right direction?
A Super Empath can originate from normal or empath, but more usually the narcissistic dynamic will be present, yes.
HG, another hypothetical question for you. If you had to align us to an empathic cadre based on your interactions with us via the blog and consult (not empath defector), would you be able to do that?
*I’m not asking you to actually do it, just curious if you’d be able to make an educated guess on us just for your own informational purposes.
For some yes, for others no, but the appropriate methodology is through the empath detector consultation.
New boots!
Yes HG, I know. I’m just trying to get in your head a bit 🤪 Wondering if, as an ultra greater, you can detect these things so easily.
Have you had the test already, Joanne?
I picked MB and FYC by reading a few of their comments on here then I asked to clarify if I was on the right track.
Narc noob
I have not. Maybe someday I will.
I remember during a poll a lot of us identified with the super empath and someone was bothered by that (implying as if we were trying to flatter ourselves with this classification). I still would classify myself as SE. Or, quite possibly even a normal with a high degree of empathy.
Hmmm I have no clue what I am , I must do a consult .
I sometimes think a codependent but that doesn’t fully fit , I can be quite assertive when provoked and I’m not the soup kitchen type , and am very independent, but don’t think I have the SE traits I’m definitely not a geyser Empath either .
A dirty empath maybe but I never cheated but did get involved with a married narc .
Hyper sensitive, highly intuitive and introverted very emotionally in tune but slow to give my affection and time except to narcs for some reason.
When I care I care deeply but it’s not easy to get me on board ,oh I don’t know need a consult to figure this out I think 🤔
Go for it Kiki. It plays on your mind otherwise. Truthseeker trait
Kiki,
I feel like I could have written your post about myself!! Exception being I am most definitely Infidelity type dirty empath.
I don’t volunteer my time, nor do I care about other people’s problems much. I have a thick shell that’s really quite hard to get through (this has been commented on many times by romantic partners and friends). But the MRN has no problem getting in from day one. I’ve often though why that is, only thing I can come up with is the empath/narc attraction and him mirroring.
HG says I’m a standard carrier.
I’ve thought about taking empath detector though, more out of sheer curiosity. There was no protocol written when I consulted him about it. I worry I skewed things as I still had ET going at that time.
Curious if those of us that identify with a lot of codep traits, but also a lot of SE traits are just plain old standard empaths.
Joanne, take it. It’s fun to learn what you are, and shocking. I was 100% convinced I was a normal person with a compulsion to solve every problem in the world. It turned out to be I am a standard Carrier. I was kind of disappointed, like, who’s gonna design a cup that says “Carrier” and looks cool right? But then I kind of loved myself because I’m a trouble-solver, resilient, efficient AF, ergonomic!!! I’m automatic! I’m systematic! I’m hydromatic! I’m a Carrier Empath! ⚡️⚡️⚡️💥💥☄️☄️🏋🏻♀️🏋🏻♀️
I just wanted to know if I was a narcissist or not. I think the jury may be back out on some days.
Have any SE here been attracted to a LN? I can’t see how its possible. Cheers!
I’m sure that it can happen. But it is not going to last very long. And it is probably more likely to be a dirty empath infidelity situation where the Lesser narc seduced an empath who was married to another narc and starving him/her for sex and affection. And also not all Lessers are ugly. They can be very attractive and some can even be wealthy and famous like some celebrities.
Hello again MP, yes, good example. I know that LN can be attractive, I am mainly referring to their ignited fury and that of a SE to sit back and wait some before jumping into a relationship – I could have read the article incorrectly last time I read it, though.
Hmm, I don’t think that a SE will put up with a Lesser’s ignited fury. I don’t think that their relationship will last very long after the golden period. But I can be wrong. 🤷♀️
I’m pretty sure I’m a Super Empath with Magnet tendencies based on HG’s articles. I was with a Lesser narcissist for 9 years. I was very attracted to him. He is an upper lesser who is very handsome, a former Marine and now he has a Master’s degree. He attracts well on his own and he rarely considered me to be outshining him. We were very popular when we chose to be and we also isolated and played video games for 6 years. This isolation probably occurred after he was unable to successfully break me when we went to school together. It was intense triangulation combined with silent treatments. I simply made my own friends and ignored him back. So we played video games for six years after that. He was much better than me and could outsshine me easily. Until I found my place there as well and became competent and popular online. Lol….
If I hadn’t known the Lesser since childhood. If he hadn’t been a Marine and earned my trust without having to work for it. If he hadn’t been the first man to make me cum. If he didn’t have logical explanations for his silence….I may not have stayed. But yes it is possible to have a Super Empath love a Lesser. We have a Lesser as the President of the United States even though he completely lacks control.
MP
Nice to see you! It has been awhile 😊
Joanne nice to see you too!! 💕😊
HG, speaking of this – will you be publishing the R Kelly analysis soon?
There is one ahead of R Kelly.
I am sure Cadres come into play, such as Saviours and Caretakers would be instinctively attracted to Victims, and so forth.
NN, yes I was. A while ago now but only as an SSIP. He was a somatic and 10/10 on every front. I knew for want of a better word he was an ‘asshole’, so I didn’t form any attachment to him or take him very seriously. He was just hot,hot,hot! I would defy anyone to not be physically attracted to him. I didn’t know what an N was back then. But found his little temper tantrums rather amusing. I realise now that it all ended because he was unable to control me.
HG I realise ET overrides LT for us empaths most of the time. And in the above situation I won’t deny there wasn’t any ET at all. But do you think that where the E is significantly more intelligent than the N that it makes it easier to cut ties? Or is it more about schools? and of course position within the fuel matrix?
No, intelligence is no defence. Nearly all of my romantic victims have been very intelligent and look where it got them. I am consulted by more intelligent people than unintelligent.
Thanks yes I agree that intelligence is no defense. I just wondered whether it helped with lower/mid lessers
I think it does, Alexissmith. And I second the description of your Lesser above, I would defy anyone to not be physically attracted to my narc.
Oh god. He was way out of my league on the looks front and I knew that. But he would have cycles of being absolutely obsessed with me. Then nothing then total obsession again. Thank god I never took him seriously. I’d still say yes please even now though haha
What!? Don’t say that, Alexissmith! Mine was not out of my league physically, and I definitely was out of his league mentally. Enough said. He was no way better than you, girl! ❤️
Awww thanks SP!
If I could look as good as the pic I sent to HG then I’d be doing alright x
I visited my dentist last week and I showed her the picture you sent me. I asked,” Christine, can you help this poor afflicted soul with her dental distress, her mangled mouth and tombstone teeth? Might you bring sweet dental delight to that maw of mayhem, where toothpaste is a stranger and flossing is unheard of. Can you lead this plaque infested hellhole of cavities and decay to the white, shining hygiene of straightened incisors, polished molars and a dazzling smile? Is there a solution to ending this fullest of horrors?”
She nodded and said “May I borrow your gun?”
AS2016, We are going to have to see this horrific pic. It’s becoming infamous at narcsite. Time to replace the smoking nun! Ha Ha
Hahhaha that’s really funny HG! But
She’s letting me go to Jimmy?
It was incredibly kind of you to ask her
I’m just such a great chap.
@MB I’ll give it some thought re the pic lol. I love the smoking nun, it shows I can be very good and very bad! What made you pick a unicorn?
Alexis, I picked a unicorn because I love sparkly things and I am a fantasist. For me, it is a symbol of dreams coming true and happily ever afters. You know, sappy, empath stuff.
Awwwwww that’s so cute! I love that x
Hi Narc noob,
I have never been attracted to a Lesser. Their lack of self control is off-putting to me. An adult who cannot control their feelings and impulses is someone who do not strive for self-improvement (since reading HG I know now that no Narcs strive for that, but atleast Mids and Greaters are good enough liars to make us believe them in order to hook us).
Empathic as we are I think many SE would avoid Lessers. We, or at least I, deem them unworthy of our attention and empathy. That would be my own narcissistic traits showing I guess.
I agree that it sounds like an almost impossible match.
Are you saying that since you’re ”in the know” you’re still attracted to them, or that you do not recognize almost right away ?
Hi aapzonderstaart,
Lessers I have identified as a waste of time my whole life not knowing exactly what they were. I have zero attraction for them, always had.
Mids I recognize quite easily now I think. I have beed ensnared by several in the past. Greaters I am not sure but I think I would recognise and avoid, I am however quite nervous about encountering one. But overall my experience with greaters is very limited, so I dont know what would happen.
My problem as a super empath is that many people are drawn to my presence, but mostly (only???) narcs are interested in relationships with me. Non-narcs wants to be my friend, be mentored, protected, trained, educated and entertained by me. But they have no interest in being my lover. Narcs on the other hand do. Really do. So I do get a lot of narc attention and it is intoxicating. I feel like a walking narc beacon sometimes.
But I am quite resistant to this attention from narcissists now and I enjoy a fulfilling self-actualized solitary life. It keeps me from getting hooked. Without learning about narcisissm here I would be easy pickings for a mid-range again. A well planned out seduction would have me defenseless in the past. But now I am weaponized by HG.
I hope it answered your question.
Yes,thank you Mister Anderson ! You answered my question very well !
I totally agree upon your opinion about the lesser.I think most people do,apart from another lesser.We should really give them their own dessert island.
The mid range,i think are causing the most problems (speaking for myself) in daily life,just because they’re all over the place. At work,in family,circle of friends,and so on.
I was also in a relation with a mid once.It was the first and last serious relation i ever had,i’d learned my lesson as to say.
Of course i didn’t know at the time that she was a narcissist,i thought all woman were like that!
I only found out about narcissism not even two years ago,and then made the connection. I have somewhat of a good memory, and as soon as i was ”in the know” a bell started ringing. So then i identified them all, from the past as well as in the present.I must say for a few day’s i felt like the zombie apocalypse had broken out.
I recognize what you said about people being interested in everything but a relation.Although i must say that i have a big part in that myself. I,subconsciously, find the narcissist more appealing at first hand. On top of that,the ”normal” woman i’m attracted to seem to like the narc type more then me OMG LOL.Although i have some serious narc tendencies but seemingly not enough.Anyway, like you i’m very content living my life solitary
I do not know of any greater in my daily life. I identified my sister as being a narcissist and i’m sure she think she’s a greater but she’s not.
I think the greater are causing a lot of problems in politics as well as in the financial world. Thank god for HG ! Or should i say,thank HG for HG!
Have a good day,and a nice life Mister Anderson !
.
That’s odd because I am a super empath and narcissists never want to be in a relationship with me but normal guys do. Narcissists always have me as a IPSS. It’s annoying and confusing as hell because at the time, I have no idea what we are. It’s a gray area each time. I may not be a super empath. I am having a empath detector consult and waiting for my results.
Hi Mister Anderson, those were also my thoughts! And I am not an SE.
I like your name, Mr. Anderson. Welcome to the rabbit hole 😊