MatriNarc
Both Dr O and Dr E (the good doctors) repeatedly like to ask me about my childhood. I do not like to talk about it. I tell them that I do not like to and the reason for that is that I do not remember much about it and therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about something which I do not feel in control of. Everyone is like that though aren’t they? If you are making a presentation but you only have half the material, you feel uncomfortable don’t you? I you are asked a question by somebody but you do not have all the information to hand, you feel uneasy. I explained that was my response and that it was an entirely understandable one. I’m not telling them the real reason behind my recalcitrance. Not a chance.
Unfortunately, Dr O then gets the bit between her teeth in one of our sessions and decides she would like to talk to me about family.
“Who has pinched your bagel this week then? Your brother or your sister?” I shot back seeking to deflect her. She ignored my remark and pressed on.
“Is there anybody in your immediate family you would like to discuss with me?” she asked.
“No.”
“Why?”
Where do I start ? Why would I want to talk about people I rarely bother with (save my brother)? Why is it that these people assume that I have some overriding desire to discuss a group of people who I am related to but have nothing in common with? What is the obsession?
I remained silent.
“Okay, how about I choose a family member and you tell me three things that you like about them and three things that you do not like about them. Just as something to start our conversation?” she suggested.
I remained silent.
“How about your mother?” she asked and looked at me expectantly.
I got up and left the room. I’m not playing that game with Dr O. No way.
14 thoughts on “MatriNarc”
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Damn HG I know you cant stand your mother.
It’s not a weakness to open up honestly,
your mother was/is a terrible person and holding it all inside because you don’t feel comfortable being venerable something I believe she taught you by abusing your innocence, is not going to help you no matter how far you bury the pain it will always rise up and you won’t have control over your fury you can’t change the past but you can learn from it and I believe you can heal if you want it
Is it a game? Or simply trying to take the first step to help you through some childhood trauma?
I’ve seen a comment where you mention one of the doctors is a lieutenant for a family narc you know. Perhaps that’s why you won’t open up.
But there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging what happened to us. It’s not your fault it happened. You didn’t deserve it. And what happened does not make you weak.
Perhaps this is extremly niave and ignorant for me to say…. but I hope you can open up to SM about some of these things… she is there to love and support you. Not judge you. Not everyone is trying to play a game all the time.
I apologize if me saying that crosses any boundaries of yours.
I wonder if this lieutenant is a narc. Which would be sick in itself tho very common.Even sicker would be when he aint and still chooses to be a lieutenant ! I speak from experience
What price was that writing called when he talked about someone there being a lieutenant I missed that one do you remember it?
It was a comment I had seen in a conversation thread… It was one of the ones he discusses therapy but I am
Not good at looking those things up lol. If I’m wrong please feel free to correct me.
Its the reason i wont open up ! The times i do open up its to wound the narc and/or the lieutenant ! haha..
Was just this moment thinking about what’s bothering me about this whole set-up here. If you were a truly incorrigible psychopath, you’d have no interest in helping us victims out. And you are not being forced to either, not as a condition of your continuing in therapy, nor under the lash of your legal troubles. You sought — or accepted — therapy because you want to change. And that means that you are one of those rare narcissists with insight and a shred of true human feeling and empathy. Tell me why I’m wrong.
If you read in the menu bar HG explains his choice to go to therapy and why. He also explains why he does this blog. I understand the
Hope in wanting to see something caring and compassionate in everyone… but it’s just not so.
Hi Sisty, HG Tudor emphasises that he has a cognitive empathy. The key word is cognitive.
And the cognitive empathy cannot be transformed into a congenital empathy. It is irreversible. It doesn’t matter the amount of therapy or the skills of the therapist. I am going to give you a simple example – I have a damaged meniscus and part of the cartilage is gone. Even if a surgery is performed, the cartilage cannot be restored back to 100% . It is irreversible in long term.
Same with H.G. Tudor’s therapy – it helps him to learn more about himself but it won’t change him .
And let do not forget that we don’t know the real person, we know just a part of this brilliant mind, well educated and well mannered , open and honest gentlemen who names himself H.G.
So we can only speculate why he won’t change or he would and so on 🙂
If you are interested to see how some brains work , I found this article very informative:
https://newatlas.com/psychopath-brain-mri-study/50365/
I have commented previously that just because H.G. is an Elite Narcissist doesn’t make him a bad person by default. It doesn’t mean he won’t help a person in need. Not at all – a lack of empathy doesn’t mean a lack of action.
And H.G.’ s terrific work is terrific because there is no sugar coating, but pure logic and facts due to his lack of certain emotions.
That’s why he is the Master ( I use the word instead Superior teacher; like Shihan in martial arts ) .
Insight through intelligence and self awareness not an option ?
I am so glad that you brought this subject up. I am certain that your kind are not born… you are raised. You are nurtured and molded into killing every single emotion you might have once had. The issue I have is that when men are raised to be narcs they do not discriminate. So why does the same person that raised them to be the bastards they are look down on them and wonder why they never call, or why they dont send mothers days gifts, or remember birthdays. Bitch… because you reap what you sow.
You say that you are certain that his kind is not born, they are raised. Then the people who raised his kind must have been raised to be narcissists as well by their parents. So who is the one to blame? It is ongoing cycle. Hurt people hurt people. Instead of healing themselves they take it out on others and project their own insecurities.
We cannot be healed, there is no prospect of “healing themselves”.