NO CONTACT? NO, IT´S NOT PART ONE

No contact is the Holy Grail. It is a state of affairs, a place of being and the absolute answer to any and all ensnarement with our kind. You must strive for it, impose it and maintain it.

Yet, so many claim they have achieved this nirvana but they have not done so. Many assert they have implemented a no contact regime and then ask – why am I still being hoovered through his telephone calls? Others state that they are applying no contact but the narcissist keeps coming over to talk to them and they feel helpless to stop this and want to know why this keeps happening.

It is because it is not no contact.

This may seem obvious to some of you reading but do understand that the regularity by which I encounter such observations and questions demonstrates two matters very clearly :-

  1. A large number of people do not truly understand what no contact really is ; and
  2. Emotional thinking and its power over people causes them to allow holes in their no contact defence so that is actually does not become a no contact defence at all or even anything close.

With regard to the first point, I understand how this comes about. In part it is because a number of commentators who advocate no contact do not understand themselves what it really means. They also do not understand our kind and therefore if they do not understand narcissists, how can they then advise victims effectively with regard to no contact (and so much more as it happens with regards to the narcissistic dynamic)? They fail to realise how we attack no contact, they fail to realise how no contact is so much more than just staying away from a physical interaction with the narcissist. Of course, some of these commentators have no actual experience with regard to our kind and therefore they have no position of expertise, furthermore, some have had the interaction but they are falling prey to their own emotional thinking which means that they fail to advocate the proper and total no contact regime and/or they ‘allow’ certain forms of interaction not realising this breaches no contact and/or they regard it as permissible and without actual consequence. No contact is a serious matter. It is THE solution to the problem of ensnarement with our kind and must be addressed properly and resolutely and the only way of doing this is accord with what I explain to you and to apply it completely. Nobody else is capable of giving you the absolute correct and proper information to ensure you are protected and able to march towards recovery with due expedience.

So, let us examine various situations which are common with regard to victims and their attempts to implement no contact. This series will embrace a wide range of scenarios thus enabling you to realise that you are in fact breaching no contact (and you may be surprised to realise that you were) and moreover what the consequences of such a breach are (whether you knew it was a breach or not).

Let’s begin with physical interaction with the narcissist and by that I am referring to a direct physical interaction whereby you and the narcissist are in the same space.

  1. Physical interaction

Most people at least recognise that physical interaction with the narcissist is breaching no contact. However, there are still a number who seek to split hairs when it comes to a physical interaction with the narcissist and of course that is being driven by emotional thinking which will con a victim into thinking that the interaction is somehow ‘okay’ or is not a ‘real breach’ of no contact. It is not okay and yes, it is a real breach of no contact.

The First Golden Rule of Freedom is the most important one. It is also the easiest one to remember, the easiest one to test your behaviour against but often hard to implement (because of emotional thinking wanting to feed your addiction to the narcissist by making you engage with us further). This rule is ‘Once you know, you go – you get out and you stay out.’

Thus, you must consider your proposed behaviour and if it offends this rule then your proposed behaviour must not be executed and anything which tells you that you should, tries to tell you to ignore this rule, tries to suggest it is somehow permissible to offend this rule is a product of emotional thinking. It is not acceptable, it is not permissible, it is not an exception, a loop-hole, a merited deviation – it is emotional thinking. Pure and simple.

Accordingly, if you find yourself thinking (or worse doing) something whereby you will physically interact with the narcissist or you are physically interacting with the narcissist then you are breaching the rule, you are being controlled by emotional thinking and you must not do it and/or you must halt the interaction.

If you are intermittently spending time with the narcissist in some way, even if this is vastly reduced from the amount of time which you used to spend, this is not no contact. You are entering the narcissist’s sphere of influence, this causes a Hoover Trigger and therefore there is a risk that a hoover (if the Hoover Execution Criteria (“HEC”) are met) will follow. You may think that it is obvious that a hoover will occur if you are in the same physical space as the narcissist but it is not a given. Yes, it often happens (after all – why would we reject such an easy opportunity to gather fuel from you) but there are instances where even if you come to speak to us, let’s say at a social gathering and thus you cause a Hoover Trigger, we will not execute the hoover (i.e. we will either walk away or remain and just ignore you) and thus there is no hoover. Any same space physical interaction with us breaches no contact. If you approach us to speak to us, even though you feel you are in control, you are breaching no contact. You are not in control however since you are breaching the first golden rule of freedom and thus you are being governed by your emotional thinking by approaching us.

If you are ‘ambushed’ by the narcissist. For instance, you are walking down the road and you turn the corner and the narcissist is in front of you or if the narcissist turns up unexpectedly at a corner, then no contact is also breached. If your emotional thinking has been lowered by a sustained period of total no contact, then you are highly likely to apply logic which is ‘Get Out, Stay Out’ and in the instance of being ambushed, you will actually just walk away as quickly as possible or if cornered you will ignore the narcissist and feel no problem at all in doing so. Any discomfort at such a response arises from your emotional thinking remaining high. It will be trying to corrupt your empathic trait of guilt into speaking to us or corrupting your empathic trait of decency, again to be polite to us. When you have your emotional thinking low and under control, you will respond with logic and that logic will mean you feel no guilt at ignoring us. It means you feel no compulsion to speak to us on the basis of being pleasant and civil. You will be cold, you will ignore us and thus you will wound us (which incidentally acts to raise the hoover bar making a future hoover less likely for a period of time). Thus, if you think it is acceptable to respond to the narcissist because he has ambushed you, this is a breach of no contact and therefore must not be done. It is not a case of it ‘not counting’ because he ambushed you as opposed to you approached the narcissist.

If you physically meet with the narcissist when handing over children as part of co-parenting, you are breaching no contact. You ought to look at utilising gate keepers (third parties) or if the children are old enough you can drop them at the garden gate and wait to ensure they go inside the narcissist’s house so you know they have arrived safely. There are a variety of different ways of effecting co-parenting without the necessity of any actual physical interaction with the narcissist parent. Whilst you may think that it is better that you are civil to one another, remember, you are dealing with a narcissist and if you have that physical interaction, even if it is ten minutes’ civil discussion then

a. You will be providing fuel – the narcissist is getting what he or she wants;

b. Owing to our black and white thinking you run the risk of being subjected to some form of unpleasant/abusive hoover; and

c. You are increasing your Emotional Thinking by having this engagement. The increase in your E.T. could result in a loss of insight with the consequential issues which arise from that.

Other common instances that arise where people believe they need to have some form of physical interaction with the narcissist include :-

  • “I need to deal with the narcissist because I am owed money by the narcissist” – No, you do not need to deal with the narcissist – get a third party to recover the money, go to law (often you have to anyway) or write it off;
  • “I need to recover property from the narcissist/return property” – No, you do not need to deal with the narcissist to address this. Again, involve a third party, go to law, forget about the property, post it back to the narcissist, have someone else return it etc
  • “I need answers from the narcissist so I can gain closure.” – No you do not. You will not get the answers, you will not get closure. I will give you the answers and you make your own closure – we will not grant it to you because that runs contrary to our interests
  • “I need to tell the narcissist what a bastard he or she is.” – No, you do not. You are just giving challenge fuel, heightening your own emotional thinking and kicking the hornet’s nest. “But it feels good doing this, I have wounded him” I hear you retort. No, you have not wounded the narcissist, you gave fuel. Yes, he may well have responded angrily but that was not the result of wounding, that was the need for him to respond to put down your act of rebellion by challenging him.  Yes, you may well feel good, feel better for tearing a strip off the narcissist but it ultimately acts against you – your ET has risen you have provided fuel and you run the risk of malign hoovers in response. It feels good because this is your ET conning you into doing it again and again and again to feed your addiction to the narcissist and this is not in your best interests. Apply the First Golden Rule of Freedom and you will see how you are breaching it.
  • “The sex is really good and I may as well get something out of it. I do not want anything more than the sex.” No, you may not as well get something out of it. Yes the sex may well be exceedingly good (it often is with our kind) but the thought process is flawed and the pleasure you get from engaging in repeated sexual engagement with the narcissist is dangerous. You are giving us what we want – fuel, you are feeding your addiction and maintaining your emotional thinking, you are exposing yourself to the potential for devaluation. You may think you have the upper hand, you may think you are ‘using’ the narcissist but this is emotional thinking at work again. It is utilising your narcissistic sense of pride to make you think that it is good to extract something from the narcissist. It is corrupting your empathic trait of justice making you think that you are getting your own back on us. You are not – you are offending the First Golden Rule of Freedom. I do not care if you think you have control – you do not (the fact you think you have control and ignoring the First Golden Rule of Freedom confirms you do not have control because you are being led by your emotional thinking). The risk to you is that your repeated engagement (which increases your emotional thinking) will cause you to reach a tipping point whereby you are ensnared again. This ensnarement does not necessarily mean going back into a formal relationship with us, but it means a continued engagement of some form where you have lost insight. It will happen and if you think that it will not, then guess what? Yes, you are succumbing to emotional thinking. You might be able to have sex the once and then walk away and never do it again but it is highly unlikely and therefore why take the risk? Your ET will be fighting hard, very hard, to make you engage with us and cause you to lose insight. Would you put your head in the lion’s mouth knowing there is a risk it might bite? No. Same applies to us – do not take a risk which is entirely unnecessary. Obey that golden rule and get out and stay out.
  • “I want the narcissist to see how much he has hurt me. He needs to know what he has done.” Pointless. We do not care. Your hurt, your anger, your misery, your upset – it is all more fuel and we will lap it up. You will get nothing out of it, save more manipulation, heightened emotional thinking and in all likelihood further ensnarement and with that more misery. Yes, you are hurt – showing that hurt to us serves no purpose. Again, your ET will be telling you to do it to make you feel better (you are unlikely to feel better and even if you do it will not last and there is a greater price to pay for that fleeting moment of illusionary improvement in how you feel).
  • “I can help the narcissist. He can change. He is a lost soul. He needs my help.” No, you cannot change the narcissist. You cannot help (but you can help yourself). Your emotional thinking is corrupting your compassion empathic trait, it is corrupting your trait of wanting to fix and to heal. Once again, by trying to use these traits to cause you to interact physically with the narcissist, all that is happening is that you are delivering control to the narcissist, you will provide fuel and you will heighten your emotional thinking further. You will run the risk of further devaluation or a malign hoover (dependent on where you are in the narcissistic dynamic).

It may seem obvious to some but many people still breach no contact by seeking and/or allowing physical interaction with the narcissist. Whether it is the narcissist coming to see you, the narcissist appearing in person through an ‘ambush’ or you seeking an audience with the narcissist in person – all of these are breaches of no contact and must not be carried out and if you have done any of them, they must not be repeated.

Any thinking which suggests that there is a good reason to allow such physical interaction to happen is emotional thinking and you must reject it immediately before it gets a hold on you (and it will if you keep allowing ET into your life) and greater adverse consequences occur as a result of you losing insight, failing to follow logic and falling prey to the disastrous influences of emotional thinking.

Remember, ET is not your friend. It is a con artist. It makes you think you are using logic when you are not. Reject it. Obey the First Golden Rule of Freedom.

 

 

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TIRADE

“You’ve done what? I cannot believe it. What on earth possessed you to do that? Are you mad? Are you completely unhinged woman? Sweet Jesus I don’t believe what you just said to me. How many times have we been over this before? Countless times. Hell, I said it only yesterday didn’t I? I cannot believe you would be so stupid as to do something like this, it just beggars belief. You know I am starting to think that you do this on purpose don’t you? It’s no good shaking your head and staring at me like that, do you think I will feel sorry for you if you give me those eyes? Do you? I said DO YOU? Yes, you may as well shake your head again, it’s about as much as someone of your idiocy can do. I swear I am living with an epsilon semi-moron, have you always been this fucking dumb? I guess you have. It was such a simple thing to do, straight forward, a child could do it, but no not you, you had to go and be clever and go and royally fuck it up. You absolute idiot. You have ruined everything now; you do realise that don’t you? I mean it is completely ruined and how about that for a fantastic start eh? Yes, I am being sarcastic, I suppose I have to explain that to someone as brain dead as you. Jesus, why on earth have I been saddled with you. Don’t you fucking dare speak when I am speaking, you’ve done enough damage as it is, you will shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am setting you straight. I have pointed out to you so many bloody times what you should do and you assured me, you stood there and assured me that you knew what you were doing. That was a lie. I SAID SHUT UP AND DON’T INTERRUPT ME! I swear you want me to hit you don’t you? That’s what you are trying to do. Oh I know you alright, you think you are so damn clever but I have you worked out. I know what you are up to. That’s right, wind me up, get it wrong, disappoint and frustrate me and then you want me to explode and land myself in some hot water. Well it isn’t going to work with me. I am not stupid. I am not you, you know. I know what I am doing. I am the one that keep this place together, you would do well to remember that when you are busy ruining everything with your mind-blowing and monumental incompetence. It is breath taking. It truly is. I told you what to do. I told you once, I told you a hundred times and you said to me and I can specifically remember what you said, you said ‘don’t worry, I can be trusted to get it right’. Yes, that is what you said. It is no point looking like that, don’t pull that face with me, don’t you fucking dare, I am sick of you not showing me enough respect around here. I work my backside off to keep things afloat, not that you give me any credit for it though. Oh no, you are too busy taking the piss, fucking things up and spoiling it for everyone and especially for me. I don’t know what I am going to do now. I mean, you’ve just, I, I am almost lost for words. You see, not only have you cocked it right up but you have lied to me as well. I don’t know which is worse, but that’s you all over isn’t it. The liar, the deceiver, you flatter to deceive. Don’t think I don’t know what you get up to. I have my eye on you, yes, you would do well to look worried, I know all about you. What are you looking over there for? Look at me when I am talking to you. Look. At. Me. Oh here we go, the waterworks. If you have messed up and you are being corrected start crying and it will be all okay again. Well it won’t will it? It won’t be okay after what you have done. It won’t be fine. It won’t be good or great or fine and dandy. You have messed it up. I knew this would happen. I knew I shouldn’t have left it to you, but do you know what, I thought to myself, no, give her a chance, let her prove she can do it, let he demonstrate that she can be trusted to get it right, I mean, after all, that is what a relationship is all about isn’t it? Trust. Without trust there is nothing. Do you see what you have done? Do you? Do you really understand the impact of what you have done? Somehow I doubt it, that is why I am having to do this. Do you think I like shouting at you? What’s that? Were you going to nod then? Why you ungrateful and nasty bitch, you have some cheek to accuse me of enjoying this when I am the one who has to put up with the consequence of your outrageous incompetence. I am the one who is put out. I am the one who has to suffer. You will just walk away muttering about having understood, how you have learned your lesson and you won’t do it again but I may as well be speaking in Mandarin for all of the notice that you take. I told you to stop crying. If you don’t stop crying, I am going to seriously lose it with you. Christ, what am I going to do? You’ve messed it up and ruined it for me. You don’t care, you don’t. If you did care you wouldn’t keep doing this would you. You wouldn’t keep making these mistakes and winding me up. You are trying to send me to an early grave aren’t you so you can have all this to yourself aren’t you? Got some fancy man on the side have we? I bet that’s what this is all about isn’t it? Ruin me through your incompetence and then waltz off into the sunset with some Johnny Come Lately after I croak it, sent to an early grave by your scheming. You’d love that wouldn’t you, to see me off. You nasty cow, no wonder nobody likes you, no wonder nobody asks you out. Oh yes, we never get invited anywhere these days because of you and your behaviour and is it any wonder. You are a walking disaster area. I mean people put up with you, they did it for my sake, I have good friends like that, or should I say I had good friends like that but thanks to you they are disappearing like rats on a sinking ship. You won’t be happy will you until you have completely ruined everything for me will you. That’s what you want. You want me on my knees, gasping for breath, miserable and wretched as you cavort and carry on with some other mug that you have seduced and promised the world to. I can’t believe I fell for it, but then I guess you keep the real you hidden don’t you, tucked away until you have your feet under the table, your name on the deeds and the joint Amex account. Well you are not that clever because you won’t beat me. I am cleverer than you. I am going to make you pay for what you have done. I am the one who is in charge here, this is my house and you do what I say. I am going to unleash hell against you after this catastrophe, it is an outrage, a complete outrage. I pity our neighbours having to put up with this, but you make me do it, it is all about you. I am not fooled by the frightened looks and the tears, other people might be taken in by it, but I am not. I know it is all for show. You disgust me, you scheming, manipulative, hateful cow. I curse the day I met you. Now look, you’ve made me late, thanks a bunch, that’s all I need. I’m going and don’t think I’ve finished; this is far from over.”

Silence.

“I thought you would prefer raspberry jam to marmalade,” you say softly to nobody in particular.

HOOVERING BY THE PARENTAL NARCISSIST

Whilst many people experience our kind in the context of the romantic relationship, there are also many people whose experience of the narcissistic dynamic arises from their relationship with a parent. Naturally, nobody recognises at first blush that they have a narcissistic parent. When somebody is a child, they have nothing to benchmark it against and invariably it is usually the case that enlightenment only arises once the child has become an adult.

Sometimes it takes that person to become entangled with a narcissist in a romantic relationship before they are awakened to the fact that they have so been entangled. As part of their enlightenment as to the fact that one of our kind ensnared them through the auspices of a romantic relationship, the individual then also realises that one (or possibly both) of their parents is a narcissist. It takes the coupling with a narcissist in a romantic sense to bring about that realisation. For others, it is the comparison between their relationship with that parent and how they see the relationship of their friends with their parents, or the relationship between their significant other (who is not a narcissist) and his or her parents, to cause them to question the behaviour of their parent which eventually takes them along the path to discovery.

For my own part, it was not until I was shown by an ex-girlfriend what I was, that I realised that MatriNarc was also of our brethren. It was an unusual moment. On the one hand I now had a label to apply to myself, courtesy of the non-judgemental observations of that informed girlfriend. I was pleased with this label as it enabled me to understand more about what I was, although it was not something I planned on sharing. Yet, as I understood how my behaviours fitted with the model of behaviour to which she had directed me, I also realised that my mother was similar and thus also was one of us. A different type of narcissist, but one nevertheless. Such a revelation admittedly stunned me but I soon buried such thoughts as they served no purpose. There was no point dwelling on what had occurred in the past, that was redundant and only going to take me to a place that I had long since escaped. Instead, I focused on my new understanding and how I should now apply this knowledge to my advantage. Thus, that is what I did as I began my journey post university, entering the world of work (aside from summer jobs and the like) and continuing to ensnare unwitting victims romantically, socially and even through the merest of interactions.

Through this time I sought to exercise my independence from MatriNaric who of course sought to exert it as often as she could. I attended university, like many, away from the place where I grew up and therefore this represented the first weakening of the control that MatriNarc had exerted over me. Of course, those elongated holidays meant a return to the mother ship and her continuing machinations and it was only when I commenced my first position on the career ladder of my chosen profession and with that came the necessity of being based in a city, that I truly started to pull away from her grip.

As you would expect, she would not allow that grip to be relinquished with ease and so it is with all parental narcissists. Just like the viewpoint of the romantic relationship narcissist, the parental narcissist considers that you, his or her child belongs to him or her until death. Indeed, whilst those in a romantic liaison with us may sever the Formal Relationship this is far less likely where the dynamic is between parent and adult child. The adult child feels a sense of obligation borne out of the familial tie. How often have you said,

“She is my mother, I can’t NOT invite her to the christening.”

“I know she can be a pain, but she is my mother after all.”

“He is bound to cause a scene but he is my father and well, it would just feel wrong if he was not there.”

“It will cause too many questions if my dad doesn’t attend.”

Such is the sense of obligation which is imbued by the familial link. The narcissist knows of this sense of obligation and moreover relies on it. That is why there is no seduction between narcissistic parent and child (leaving aside those arrangements where incest arises, which is not the purpose of this article) because the existing familial connection supplants the need for seduction. The victim is already tied to the narcissist through blood and you are never allowed to forget that fact.

This tight binding of victim to narcissist does not end there. The existence of the other parent (usually not a narcissist) also causes the victim to remain exposed and bound to the narcissistic parent. Perhaps some of these comments will be familiar to you?

“I put up with my dad for my mum’s sake.”

“I feel sorry for my dad having to deal with my mum.”

“I only see my dad because I love my mum and want to spend time with her.”

“I do it for my children so they see their grandfather, otherwise I would not bother with my mum.”

Unlike the romantic coupling where, once you realise that this person is an abuser (if you have not worked out that they are one of us) you may well escape and aside from the usual concerns and vulnerabilities which come with the empathic victim in such an instance, you make good that escape, the familial ensnarement brings with it a collateral consequence; the other parent. Whilst you may consider quite readily abandoning the narcissistic parent, once you have become alive to what he or she is and how this will not change, your planned escape is hampered by the consequential impact on the other parent who is not a narcissist. Like the dedicated platoon which ‘leaves no man behind’, you are also kept in the grip of the narcissistic parent because of your obligations towards your other parent who is not one of our kind. Once again, do not underestimate the narcissist’s knowledge of this sense of obligation. They will be unlikely to realise that they are a narcissist, but they know how to exploit your relationship with the other parent to their advantage.

Whilst devaluation is a frequent occurrence within the dynamic between the parent narcissist and the adult child, discard is fairly rare. The dynamic between parent and child falls into one of three categories:-

 

  1. The adult child is an intimate partner primary source – rare;
  2. The adult child is a non-intimate partner primary source – unusual; or
  3. The adult child is a non-intimate secondary source – common

With most interactions falling into the third category, the adult child will be relied upon as an intermittent, but frequent provider of fuel. The narcissistic parent will also look to gather traits (for instance living through the success of the adult child) and utilise residual benefits (especially as the narcissistic parent ages).

In a non-familial dynamic, the narcissist tends to interact largely with the secondary source victim in benign ways to gain positive fuel, for instance:-

  1. A secondary source who is a friend will be invited to social events and spend time with the narcissist;
  2. A secondary source who is a colleague will also be invited to social events, but will be relied on by virtue of the existing obligation which arises out of the work dynamic;
  3. A secondary source who is also an intimate source will be picked up to use for social events, intimacy, spending time together. For instance, a person the narcissist is having an affair with, a friend with benefits or a dirty little secret.

In those instances the narcissist offers a benign hoover

“Do you fancy going to the pub tonight?”

“I can meet you at the hotel at 3pm this afternoon.”

“I have tickets for that new play, I hope you want to come.”

“I have not seen you in ages, how about lunch?”

“Can we get our heads together to discuss the new project?”

And consequently the victim will almost always respond to this hoover, interact with the narcissist and provide the positive fuel. The narcissist will have a range of secondary sources so the reliance on one particular secondary source is intermittent. This means the positive fuel remains fresh for far, far longer and therefore the golden period can continue for a long time.

With the situation where the narcissist interacts with a familial secondary source, the victim may well be a golden child or a scapegoat. In either instance, the parental narcissist considers there to be an obligation borne out of the familial tie so that the secondary source should not actually need to be hoovered. Since the range of familial secondary sources will be far fewer than secondary sources as a whole, the familial secondary source is EXPECTED to make themselves available for fuel provision et al. Whilst they may no longer live with the parental narcissist this does not matter. The adult child who is a secondary source should attend without prompting to provide fuel to the parental narcissist. For instance, it is expected they will come over for Sunday lunch each week or visit at least once a month for the weekend if they live a distance away. There ought to be weekly, perhaps daily telephone calls/skype/facetime. They expect to be messaged first to be asked how they are, whether they need anything and so forth. If these expected routine events where fuel is provided are not adhered to, then the parental narcissist will deploy a hoover to bring about the interaction and of course the required reaction which provides fuel.

The parental hoover may be benign in nature (which is usually used for the golden child) but also malign. The latter type of hoovers vary to the degree by which malignancy is used. Some may be mild, intending to prick the conscience of the recipient adult child and others especially savage in order to provoke an outraged or alarmed response. The malign parental hoover has one key ingredient ; it invariably causes the child to have to parent the parent. This of course should come as no surprise to the seasoned scholars of the narcissistic dynamic. The parental narcissist remains the vulnerable child which manifests when fuel levels begin to dip and thus the hoover deployed to the adult child is designed to trigger that long-held obligation of the adult child to parent their parent, something they have done for as long as they might care to remember.

It is often the case that a parental narcissist will have given rise to the creation of a child narcissist which in the fullness of time becomes an adult child narcissist. This individual does not escape the demands of the parental narcissist. They still have fuel to provide and most parental narcissists do not know what they are and therefore do not recognise themselves in the adult child narcissist, thus the interaction will continue, often with explosive consequences.

Thus, the parental hoover is a frequently used manipulation which is deployed by the parental narcissist for the purposes of exerting control over the adult child and for the gathering of precious fuel. What do these hoovers look like? There are many of them and here are just a number of examples.

Benign Parental Hoovers

  1. Holding a celebration for the achievements of the golden child;
  2. Wanting the golden child to show what they have done or explain their latest promotion, show their painting etc to both the parents and third parties who have been summoned;
  3. An impromptu BBQ because it is a ‘lovely summer’s day’;
  4. To celebrate the birthday of the golden child;
  5. Wanting to share good news with the golden child;
  6. Seeking the advice of the golden child if they are a specialist in some area – for instance investment advice;
  7. Wanting to effect an introduction to or for the golden child which places the parental narcissist in a good light for being the deal maker;
  8. Identifying a problem and wondering if the golden child might possibly have the time to resolve it for them;
  9. Identifying (or fabricating) a family problem involving triangulation with another relative (usually the scapegoat) and seeking the good office of the golden child to resolve the issue;
  10. Having some spare tickets (which are not spare at all but purposefully bought) which they would like to offer the golden child;
  11. Suggesting a holiday with the golden child

Malign Hoovers

  1. Noting the adult child (“AC”) has not visited and asking when this might happen;
  2. Triangulating the AC with the golden child pointing out how the golden child has visited more often;
  3. Feigning a crisis – the ceiling is leaking, the oven does not work, the neighbours are too noisy and something must be done immediately
  4. Bemoaning the fact nobody comes to see them;
  5. Highlighting how unwell they are;
  6. Pointing out financial difficulties
  7. Disapproving of the AC’s friends, romantic partner
  8. Claiming they never get to see their grandchildren;
  9. Complaining they are only ever used as a child minder for their grandchildren;
  10. Berating the AC for some imagined vice – drugs, drink, gambling etc based on the flimsiest of evidence but declaring that “I only have your best interests at heart”

 

  1. Turning up unannounced and uninvited for the weekend;
  2. Declaring how lonely they are and how “your father never listens”
  3. Moaning about never being able to go anywhere;
  4. Pretending to not understand what a letter means and asking for them to come and help;
  5. Deliberately sabotaging something and using it as a pretext for requiring immediate help and assistance;
  6. Threatening to remove the AC from their will unless they make more of an effort;
  7. Calling early on Christmas Day or their birthday to demand why the AC has not contacted them to wish them Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday;
  8. Frequently referring to the death of people they know and commenting how they won’t be long for this world and then “you will be free of me which is what you want really”.
  9. Throwing in the face of the AC everything they have ever done for the AC from his or her childhood “I wiped your bottom” even though they actually did the bare minimum of parenting;
  10. Utilising frequent sarcasm “I was just calling to let you know I am still alive because after all you have never bothered to call me in three days.”

The adult child is not allowed to lead their own life, to expect the ongoing support of their parent but instead be on call whenever these hoovers are deployed and to respond straight away so that fuel is provided without question or delay.

ANGEL ASSISTANCE

This place is a world leading resource for the provision of information and insight that promotes true understanding and enables people to gain control from often seemingly hopeless situations and achieve freedom. Through my articles, my books, the answers I provide each day on the blog and especially the content of my various consultations, logic defences and assistance packages hundreds of thousands of people have beaten their narcissists and achieved freedom and embraced all associated with gaining such an accomplishment.

Following numerous suggestions from empathic readers I have created “Angel Assistance” which is a fund specifically created to help those who may not be in a position to obtain bespoke assistance, so that they can then do so using assistance either in full or in part. Some readers are left in a parlous financial state by the very individual they are seeking assistance in regard to.

Readers may donate a sum, no matter how small or large to this fund for the purposes of it being used by other readers to utilise my highly effective assistance. I know several readers have already very generously done this for people previously and this was the catalyst for the creation of a standing fund.

If you wish to donate, please use the PayPal button below.

Those who are in need of those services may email me at narcissist1909@gmail.com to seek assistance in accordance with a short protocol which has been devised to ensure fairness in this process.

The donations and use of this fund will of course be governed by confidentiality.

Should the fund be in credit on each 6 monthly anniversary of its creation that sum will be donated to charity and I will conduct a poll to let readers choose a relevant charity for the donations to be sent to and the fund will start once again.

HG Tudor




 

PROVOCATION

We repeatedly provoke. The act of provocation is one which is designed to cause a strong and often unwelcome emotion in the recipient. On one level, it can be said that everything we do is provocative because we are always looking to cause you to be emotional, to react in an emotional fashion to what we do and as a consequence give us the fuel that we need. Thus when we tell you that we have finally found our soul mate, we are provoking you into generating an intense feeling of being loved (or at least thinking that you are being loved) which causes you to exhibit your love towards us and thus we gain our fuel. We pay a friend a compliment in order to provoke that person into at least thanking us, thus a small dollop of positive fuel or more hopefully (and indeed more likely because this empathic secondary source is well-mannered, honest and decent) we pay them a compliment so they will pay one to us and thus more fuel is garnered. There is no unconditional giving with our kind. We only give to receive.

Thus all of the things that we say and do, the manipulations, the chicanery, the machinations and the mind games are all designed to provoke you into giving us fuel. However, in its strictest sense, we provoke you in order to generate that intense response and one which is negative in nature. We provoke you so that you will explode in anger, erupt in a stream of profane insults and vent your frustration through a slap to the face or a mug hurled towards us.

We will push and push and push. Yes, many of you have a remarkable capacity to absorb these pointy sticks which jab you. Your kind are well-versed and skilled in the turning of the cheek, the adoption of the high ground and the making of allowances. You will bury the hatchet and we will dig it up again in order to give you a dig from the sharp point. You will let bygones be bygones and we will resurrect the memory of an age-old issue in order to rankle you.

Nothing is off limits in terms of provoking you. It might be focusing on a vulnerability of yours that we know about (having acquired this information when we seduced you) so that we remind you of a frightening episode from your childhood or capitalise on your terror of spiders. It might be homing in on your sensitivity about the size of your nose, the shape of your head, the bright red of your embarrassment. If you owe us money, we shall remind you of it and comment on your poor financial position. We may flirt because we know how much you hate the notion of us being unfaithful. We may repeatedly turn up late because you are an advocate of punctuality. We may criticise your parents, your choice of film, your culinary skills, your attempts to loser weight; whatever we have identified as a means for causing you to erupt at us we will do it.

We know which buttons to press. We have a knack and an instinct for doing so. This is because we are able to gather information about you when we seduce you which will be stored away and used against you at a later stage. This is also because empathic individuals are more likely to respond in an emotional fashion. Yes, you will soak it up at first by making allowances for our behaviour and indeed making excuses, exhibiting this selfless understanding for which you are famed. This will not dissuade us. We know that everybody has a limit of what they can take before they snap. Sometimes it is bursting into tears, running from the room or screaming. Other times it is exploding with a volley of curses, coming at us with flailing arms or shouting and screaming at the top of your voice about how awful we are.

Push, prod, niggle. Aggravate, rile, irritate. Ruffle, vex, bug. Irk incense and annoy. We will chip away at your defences, jabbing and poking as we look to make your blood boil, get on your nerves, get under your skin,  work you into lather and try your patience until you can take no more. We can sense the emotion rising in you. We notice the slight tells, the narrowing of the eyes, the rolling of the eyes, the sighs, the shake of the head, the hands on the hips, the raised palm, the jutting jaw and so on. The more you try to tell us that we are not getting to you, the more we are encouraged. We know that your emotion is building up inside of you. We know that it is increasing and no matter how much you are trying to maintain that cool exterior, we understand what is building up.

We not only have a medley of ways by which we provoke you, but we are experts in choosing precisely the best (worst) time to engage in this behaviour. Do any of these instances seem familiar?

When you are trying to get ready to go out.

When you are trying to have a telephone conversation with somebody else.

When you are trying to cook.

When you are trying to perform some chore.

When you are trying to get to sleep.

When you first come through the door after a long day.

When sat next to us in the car on a long journey.

When sat across from us in a restaurant.

When at some event of your choosing.

We will pick an inopportune time to commence our provocation so that you are caught off guard, when you are tired, when you are hungry, when you are anxious or stressed. The moment must be right for us and wholly inappropriate for you and then we can unleash the relevant form of provocation. We know what really gets to you. It may be the subject matter. It might be the way of conveying it, for instance patronising you or acting in a condescending fashion. It could be jabbing you with a finger on the shoulder to punctuate or words or giving you a dig in the back as you lie on your side in bed, after each savage sentence.

Eventually comes the eruption. You can only take so much and invariably when this provocation comes allied with an emotional state which makes you more susceptible to our provocations the explosion is all the more satisfying. Copious amounts of negative fuel fountain from you as you shout, scream, bang doors, slam your hand on the work top, swear and so forth. Inside we are soaring with the power that comes from the provision of this most excellent fuel. You, the paragon of virtue, the most patient of saints has been brought to boiling point and we achieved it. You have responded to our control. Our superiority is once again affirmed, we are the puppetmasters, we are omnipotent in our actions and you have responded as we wanted. Such marvellous fuel that sprays from you and we relish every drop.

Of course as it fountains and flows from you we will not want it to stop and the provocation will continue. Not only are we ensuring that we get to bathe in your overflowing fuel, we are using this eruption as evidence of how unhinged you are. Do not be surprised if this niggling, poking provocation occurs where others will see it. You can expect the whispered and insidious provocations to be used, the acts which are open to interpretation (although we both full well know exactly what was meant by our remark, our look or our gesture) and our good friend plausible deniability will be given an airing.

“Who me officer? I did nothing. She just exploded. I get this all the time, she has an anger management problem. John here will confirm she just went mental and started hitting me.” (Cue obliging Lieutenant).

“I don’t know what gets into her dad, she just erupts. You saw what she was like at mum’s birthday party. That is what I have to live with.”

“I feel sorry for you Mrs Johnson, having a daughter with a temper like that.”

We will provoke you. We will draw the delicious fuel that you will provide to us and then we will use your eruption against you as evidence of your unhinged mind, nasty temperament and unbalanced mental state.

Provocation is a mainstay of our behaviour. It comes in many forms, it is used in many different ways and on a range of occasions but its effects are always the same.

  1. The provision of a massive dose of negative fuel from a primary source;
  2. The exertion of control over you;
  3. The reinforcement of our image of superiority, lack of accountability and omnipotence;
  4. The creation of an emotional state in you which hampers your ability to think clearly and logically;
  5. The creation of a situation where you can later be made to feel guilty for erupting in the way you have at us;
  6. The manufacturing of a scenario which is used to reinforce our façade – we were calm and bewildered by this outburst.
  7. The manufacturing of a scenario which is used to smear you to third parties.

Provocation is a very useful tool to us. It is used extensively and repeatedly. Know why it is being used. Do not try to outlast it and exert your capability for patience, tolerance and understanding. You are just goading us to try harder. Remove yourself before your threshold is reached to avoid giving us points 1-7 above.

Provocation will always be used against you.

Anyway, who do you think you are looking at?

WHY DO NARCISSISTS CANCEL ARRANGEMENTS?

Why are we notorious for cancelling arrangements? You may have been looking forward all week to going out for dinner with us, or we sent a text message suggesting meeting up that evening for a drink only for a message to arrive an hour before hand explaining we cannot make it. I am not referring to those instances where we do not just turn up, but why is it that we make plans with you, be it a month in advance or just hours and we do so with enthusiasm and guarantees of being there, only to then cancel those arrangements?

There is a central factor behind this behaviour. It is control. As you know, control is of huge importance to us. We once lacked control as the world turned against us and we must never allow that to happen. By exerting control, we gain the validation we need, the fuel we require and we ensure that we are not ambushed, belittled and made to feel weak. By controlling our environment we reinforce that we are a supreme master of our destiny and of the destiny of others and through this control we are able to be that which we want the world to see. Control equals safety.

Accordingly, we need to control people and especially those which are our appliances in the provision of fuel and other benefits. We derive several benefits from exerting this control over you by dictating how and when we shall meet with you and especially by then withdrawing the meeting.

1.      We can determine how you will react to us taking this step – is it annoyance, irritation, upset, begging to meet up, re-arranging immediately or indifference;

2.      We can gauge from your reaction just how much control we are exerting over you;

3.      We can evaluate the extent of the fuel provision.

As you will have become aware, we operate through the continued and repeated application of contrast. Build you up and knock you down. Idealise and then devalue. Lift up and throw down. Our behaviour when it comes to making arrangements to do something together is no different. We give you the elation of something to look forward to and then we snatch it away and observe the outcome.

Our sense of entitlement means that we can treat you in this manner. You are not important. Our needs and our time matter far more. Thus, in accordance with our inflated sense of self we will deem it our right to demand to see you with just two hours’ notice and then cancel with barely five minutes’ warning. We of course do not care about how this makes you feel (but we are invested as to how this manifests because it is fuel) nor do we have any concern for whether you have been inconvenienced, put to expense, made to arrange child care, alter other arrangements, travel and so on. It is expected that you will do these things for us.

By behaving in this manner we reinforce our sense of superiority. Our idea of being god-like able to do as we please on a whim and everything else has to accommodate us and fall into place behind us.

This propensity to cancel is also indicative of how we perceive time in a different manner to other people. We are notoriously unpunctual, save when it is of crucial importance to us. This is because we do not value anybody’s time but our own, but it is also because we are so focused on what we are doing at that precise moment that pending plans, no matter how imminent will be held at bay, put to one side and ignored as we revel in what is happening in that instant. How many times have you had to stand waiting for your narcissist to turn up (assuming he or she has not cancelled) ? How many times have you been left waiting at a bar, at a bus stop, at your house as you wonder where on earth we have go to? This is because we have been too focused on the activity we have been engaged in, namely drawing fuel and therefore your appointment with us can wait and is forgotten about until something causes a reminder.

Thus, we may well have made what has seemed like cast iron plans with you for dinner this evening and a reservation has been made along with arrangements about where to meet. You have checked twice that we are still ‘on for this evening’ and then despite this we ring and cancel. We have been distracted by something else and because we are gaining fuel from that something else we want to continue doing that but we will not pass up this opportunity to let you down, exert control over you and gain further fuel.

What we are doing matters, what you have planned does not concern us. Often arrangements will be cancelled because of the new moment we find ourselves in our because we have a better offer. We have no need to exhibit manners or show loyalty, but whatever serves us best will be done and if this means telling you we cannot make it, then so be it.

How does this cancelling of arrangements manifest in the various dynamics?

 

1.      If you are a non-intimate secondary source who is a colleague or family member then we cancel not because we intend to devalue you, but rather because of the existing connection between us (work/familial) it is a given that we can cancel and you should accept it. If you complain, we gain fuel, if you do not but are content to re-arrange this underlines that you are subservient to us and it is as is expected. Since you are a secondary source which is in a near permanent golden period, remember we can pick you up and put you down as we please and cancelling an arrangement is just a manifestation of this dynamic rather than being a specific form of devaluation.

2.      If you are a non-intimate secondary source who is a friend, again there is an expectation that you will just accept this because you are loyal and functioning. We expect some fuel – positive or negative – and for you to want to re-arrange. This again demonstrates to us that you remain well under our control and is more pick you up and put you down behaviour rather than devaluation.

3.      If it is the initial seduction of somebody who we intend to make our primary source, whether you are a Non Intimate Secondary Source or you have advanced to an Intimate Partner Secondary Source then cancelling an arrangement is not done to devalue. It is done as a test. We are hoping for disappointment and a willingness to rearrange. If you fly off the handle with us, whilst we gain fuel, we will consider you as less desirable to be a primary source. If you are indifferent, this is the worst outcome and we are unlikely to continue our seduction of you, since you have become uninterested far too soon. This test will not be used frequently with you however as we have no desire to ruin the seduction and put you off.

4.      If you have been drawn to us and we have embedded you in a golden period as either the IPSS (who may become the IPPS) or as the IPPS then it is highly unlikely that we will cancel arrangements. You are now the apple of our eye and providing delicious positive fuel so we have no desire to interrupt that, let you down or spoil the illusion of us as being attentive, delightful and wonderful. If it does happen, then it may just be a genuine inability to be able to keep to the arrangement.

5.      If you are the IPPS and we keep cancelling arrangements then you are squarely within the devaluation period. This is being done purely to draw negative fuel from you, to upset you, hurt you and anger you. It is also the case that we are more than likely cancelling so we can spend time with the prospective primary source we are cultivating and we are using this as a chance to draw negative fuel from you and continue our manipulative mind games, especially when we tell you we cannot make it because we have to work late and you then later see a post on social media showing us in a bar with somebody else.

6.      If you are a NISS or IPSS devaluation is rare but if you find that we are cancelling repeatedly on you, this is not a test but you should be aware that you are being devalued and that the relationship is swiftly heading towards discard.

IMPREGNABLE

Another session with Dr E. As I sat down in his consulting room I wondered how much had been spent so far with regards to this supposed treatment. A few thousand pounds no doubt and I imagined that both Dr E and Dr O would be more than content to continue these consultations given their lucrative nature. The cynic in my nature pondered that the financial rewards were such that they would string out this course of treatment for as long as they could. That did not concern me. I was not paying and I usually enjoyed my sparring with the good doctors. It entertained me. However, as I ruminated on whether the lure of filthy lucre was what motivated Dr E and Dr O, I realised that they at least gave the impression of wanting to help me. I know from the many sessions it was as much about me gaining awareness and insight in order to make informed decisions about what I wanted, rather than a prescriptive approach from these head doctors but I realised that they actually did care. They wanted to help me. This of course was the main reason why I was content to keep turning up and being subjected to their questions; these two examiners of HG exhibited empathic traits and thus they proved attractive to me. My tolerance for their repeated probing of areas of my life that I preferred to keep shuttered and closed arose because they provided me with the attention that is so vital to my existence. I also knew that there was an admiration there for me as well. It was evident in the way the pair looked at me, especially Dr O. I knew, as academics, they admired the way I was so candid about the way I behaved. I could see how they admired the way I had been created. I knew they did not like it, how does one like something like me given the abuse I dole out as freely as a farmer broadcasting seed, but they had that deep-seated admiration for this efficient machine that had been stripped of all unnecessary emotions and super-charged with certain traits in order to function at maximum effectiveness. Accordingly, even the doctors were providing me with the thing I needed and our relationship might continue ad infinitum. They continued to be fascinated by me and they desired to help me. I, in turn, was content to engage in this relationship as it provided something that I required. The arrangement was a mutually satisfying one, even when the doctors strayed into territories that were best left alone.

“Hello HG how are you?” asked Dr E. I hesitated. He did not normally enquire as to my state of being. Others would trot out such a question rarely interested in the answer but merely performing a social nicety. Dr E did not ask such a question and for him to now do so put me on guard.

“I am excellent well, thank you for your kind enquiry,” I replied with a smile. I did not enquire after his well-being; I was not interested nor did I have to feign such interest.

“Good. Now, straight down to business, who are you?”

“H G Tudor.”

“Indeed you are. Anything else?”

I paused. I see Dr E we were going deep today were we? Very well, let’s flush out where you want to go.

“The question of who I am is something that depends on the context,” I began. Dr E commenced his note-taking.

“How does one define oneself is what I suspect you are really driving at.” I looked to Dr E for a sign of affirmation but there was none.

“Do I have an idea of who I am? How is that arrived at? Do I know who I am or do I look to others to define me? Am I an independent identity that has been shaped by my own decisions or am I a product of others and their experiences? Am I aware of who I am or have I yet to discover all that I am?”

“All interesting questions but let me return to my initial question,” interrupted Dr E, “who are you?”

“Who am I? I am many things to many people. Friend, lover, boss or confidant are labels which are applicable to me. Conqueror, seducer, victim and defiler are others which are equally applicable. Charismatic, urbane, intelligent, interesting, stimulating, successful and alluring are also traits that come together to create who I am.”

“I see. Would you say therefore that you are confident that you know who you are?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think that if I asked this question of your family and friends, your colleagues or even my secretary that they would give similar answers to those you have provided me with?”

I snorted.

“Liars lurk within the ranks of those you have described and they have nothing but ill-will towards me. Their perfidy is so great I can smell its stench as I sit here. By all means ask but you will be given nothing but a litany of lies. Insults and assaults on my good nature.”

“So all of them would insult you?”

“No, not all, there are those who know me for what I am.”

“Might it be said that they all know you for who you are?” pressed Dr E.

“No. There are those who have an agenda to topple me and it is they that think they know me but they have constructed an idea of what I am and it is a false one that is used to serve their nefarious purposes. Others recognise my greatness and they are content to embrace it.”

“But could it not be the case that these categories of people just happen to know different elements of you. Your admirers know the H G that is generous, interesting and charming. Those who you regard as detractors perhaps know a different part of you, the defiler and conqueror that you made reference to, this causing them to regard you in a less positive light?” asked Dr E.

“No. The defiler and conqueror are artifices created by those who seek to harm me. Let them do so and I will be that which they think I am. It is no more than they deserve. They create such a monstrosity through their perfidy and unwarranted attacks, so let them know the beast, let them feel its hot and fetid breath in their faces, the rake of its claws against their yielding skin and the full horror of its power on their being. They create it, let them endure it,” I spat, the mere consideration of those who would do me wrong causing my fury to ignite.

“Could you not possess all of those attributes? Could it not be the case you have them all and people see some over others?”

“No,” I said firmly. Dr E nodded and fell silent.

“What would you think if I said that I think you are hiding from yourself?”

I switched my gaze from Dr E and focussed on a picture on the wall. Not this, don’t start this again. Don’t let him gain a foothold H G. Repel the boarder, eject the intruder, cast him out.

“I do not hide.”

“But might you not realise that you are doing so?”

“No.”

“Could it be that you do not know who you are?”

“No.”

“Could it be that you do know but would prefer not to contemplate it?”

“No.”

“Is this line of discussion making you uncomfortable?”

“No.”

I shifted my gaze back to Dr E. Go on, keep trying to batter through my defences, you will not succeed. I know your game Dr E. I know what you are trying to suggest but I am not going there.

“Very well. Let us go back to how you regard yourself then, elaborate on that,” he invited.

The sense of relief washed over me but I gave no outward sign of its effect. I smiled, elated to have rejected this probing once again and excited by the prospect of talking about my favourite subject in greater detail; me.

H.G Tudor - Revenge e-book cover

You will never secure revenge over a narcissist unless you understand how the narcissist thinks and behaves.

You will never secure revenge over a narcissist when you are blinded by emotional thinking.

When victims believe they have obtained revenge, they will invariably have fallen onto The Devil´s Pitchfork and failed. Avoid that fate, by reading the work of the expert.

Revenge is a dish best served by HG Tudor.

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CAN e-book

AUS e-book

 

 

99 PROBLEMS

 

If you’re havin’ narc problems, it feels like he’s won,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one.

 

I got me some HG for my narc patrol,

Foes who want to make sure my fuel’s exposed,

Leeching critics that say she’s “Love Light and Laughter”

I’m an empath stupid, what type of facts are those?

 

If you were ensnared by this insidious enemy,

You’d celebrate the minute you be havin’ HG,

I’m like I was duped, he wanted my energy,

But I’m reading some Tudor in order to be free

 

Got blinded with the golden period they show,

They don’t play fair, it’s maximum seduction, so

They seize on my empathic traits

And when the red flags fly it’s just too late, f*****s

 

I gave all my love, I thought I had his,

But now I know he was taking the piss,

He set me up, pushed and he pulled, made me feel dumb,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)

 

99 problems but a narc ain’t one

If you have narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)

 

In a flick of a switch, he made me feel raw,

He gave me silence and walked off through the door

Got two choices, y’all, read some HG or

Stay confused and sink to the floor

 

And I ain’t trying to get that narc back,

Tried too many times and got no slack,

So I’ve opened the pages

And decided to nail shut that door.

 

‘Cause I’m still young and I shine even though I feel real low,

He wanted a mind reader, but I couldn’t know

What he meant, he wanted second guessing some mo,

I’m better than that, so the devil had to go.

 

Gaslighting and manipulation, takes the keys to my car,

Threatened me with weapons, pushed me real far,

I’m drawing a line in the sand, this time’s legit,

I’m preparing for departure, no contact, this is it.

 

Well I changed the locks, friends got my back,

And I know my rights, this fuel supply’s now flat,

I’ve sharpened my claws, I’m keeping him out

I don’t care if he cries, begs or if he starts to shout

 

He kept moving the bar, my self-esteem took the hit,

Enough is enough, I’ve took enough of his shit,

Well we’ll see how big he is when the fuel gets low,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one,

If you’re having narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)

 

I try to ignore him, talk to the hand,

He can smear me to family, friends, all across the land,

I now know his type, the narc enemy

And I got my knowledge from HG

 

And the only thing that’s gon’ happen is I’m gonna be free,

He and his lieutenants are going down you’ll see,

Cause I’ve built my defences, I’ve got empathy

And best of all I’ve read all my HG

 

He can hoover, he can promise change, he can bring flowers instead,

But no more fuel for him, cos to me he’s dead,

I’ve built a wall, I’m staying out of his sphere

And for the first time in ages I feel no fear

 

All because he needed fuel and he targeted me,

But that’s all exposed and I will soon be free,

I know what he is and the game is done,

I got 99 solutions HG and a narc ain’t one (no contact)

 

99 solutions to make a narc get gone,

I’ve no longer narc problems, I shine like the sun,

I’ve got 99 solutions and the narc has gone (no contact)