The Games Are Always Being Played
I love playing games. As I have written before, the games are always being played. I only ever play to win otherwise there is no point. I cannot lose and sit back and smile and accept it was nevertheless an enjoyable experience because if I was to lose then it could not be enjoyable. I would be accepting that you or someone else is better than me. You are not. He is not. They are not. I always have to win. In order to achieve this I operate by a particular set of rules. You think you know what those rules are because when we first come together I deign to play by your rules; I agree to operate by the systems and conventions of your reality. That is easy for me to do because everything is going swimmingly. I am seducing you and therefore you are letting me win because it feels good. I am content to go along with the pretence of agreeing that these are the rules of engagement. You think you are winning because you are getting this wonderful, generous and loving person. In reality, I am winning because I am receiving plenty of positive fuel from you.
It is thereafter that the rules alter because I decide (and it is always my decision) that we will now abide by the rules in my reality. You are not given a rulebook and you have to guess what those rules are. As soon as you think that you have grasped them and got a handle on them, they will suddenly change. It is akin to playing a game of football and I am winning three nil. You score two more goals and you are in the ascendancy and likely to equalise. There would normally be fifteen minutes to go but suddenly I change the rules so there is just one minute left. You fail to score and I win. You protest stating that is not the correct time but it does not matter because here I am the referee, the assistants and the fourth official and what I say goes. If you do not like it, tough. I will just pick up the ball and go home with it. It is like a game of darts where you have to start from 501 and end with a double. I on the other hand start from 51 and do not need a double. You claim it is not fair but why should I care about it? I have to win. Thus, you may realise that I enjoy a lie-in on a Sunday morning so you do not disturb me. I will purposefully set the alarm early and get up waking you early. Or if I do have a lie in, I will concoct some mystery appointment that I have missed because you let me lie in. When you wake me early the following Sunday I will erupt at you for being so selfish and not letting me sleep.
When you think have ascertained what the rules are they will alter. You will do your best to try and keep up but it is exhausting and frustrating. Yet, this manipulation of the rules to allow our kind to win does not end there. Goodness me no. Our driven desire to always be the winner means that not only will we sucker you by pretending to play by your rules and then change them; we will then change the game. One moment you think you are playing Monopoly and then I am telling you it was Professor Plum in the Study with the Candlestick.
“But that is Cluedo,” you will declare rather puzzled.
“I know,” I will smile in return.
“But we are playing monopoly.
“No we are not.”
“Yes we are, look this board has streets from New York on it.”
“No it doesn’t, those are rooms in the stately home.”
“What are you talking about? See here and here, street names.”
“Are you blind? Those are snakes and ladders.”
“What? You’ve changed it again.”
“No I haven’t. You are just making a fuss because you are losing.”
“What are you on about? I am not losing, I was winning.”
“Not at all. Check mate.”
“What?”
Our phenomenal capabilities for lying, blame-shifting, denial and reflection all mean that the game will change. You are wrong footed, unsure of yourself, confused and we keep on doing it. We must win, always and you have to lose, at your cost. We will apply all our methods of manipulation to ensure we are victorious and you lie sprawled in the dirt, broken and defeated. Our success has to be at everything and I mean everything, from the trivial to the substantial, Defeat is never an option for our kind and we will bend, twist and snap the rules and alter the game in order to achieve this. Now, let’s play a game. It is my favourite. You may know it. It is called Guess Who? You have no chance.
11 thoughts on “The Games Are Always Being Played”
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This sounds like my childhood when I was younger people always cheating now i know why….another aha moment thanks to hg…or sometimes they would get up and walk away from the game when they saw they were gonna lose or knock all the pieces of the game board….or when you’re not looking place properties on the board….or turn the hourglass when you’re not looking.
I never wanted to play a game, but while I was dragged into a strange complicated game of espionage, it became a game of Clue for me, a mystery to solve. And once I found the fundamental key that unlocked the psychotic truth of the game we were really playing of narcissism, I started noticing pieces to a puzzle emerging. His game of seducing, helping, doting, insulting, triangulating, scapegoating, a yo-yo game of letting me go and yanking me back, teetering me up and crashing me down, a psycho world that hypnotized and captivated me, entrapped me like a web I couldn’t leave. And during all of that I assembled those pieces of the puzzle that I never knew existed, into a full finished picture of my life. Not a Rockwell or a Currier and Ives, but that same game of narcissism disguised as the game of Life, pretending to be pretty but really ugly to the core. I never wanted to play, I didn’t care about winning, I only wanted to enjoy your company, but in the end you all made some bad moves, your cockiness did you in, you were at the top of your field, even created your title that no one else ever had, and you lost it, you were fired, and the lady in my puzzle lost her mind and no one wants to be around her. I never wanted to play, I didn’t care about winning, but I won.
Had a ten hour work day today and my peach of a husband started yelling at me for telling him about my dad right before our kids got here then tried to make out I was grumpy because I had a long shift fucking over it today he always does this right when I am happy sick of assholes 🥵
Makes me sad to hear. I hope u get out & stay out -Veronique. It’ll never change u don’t deserve it. They don’t change and get worse likely.
This reminds me of my ex MMRN who was a gamer. He was adept at both tabletop and video games. I had never played tabletop games before, and he introduced me to it. Once I got the hang of it I started beating him every time. He would smile but wouldn’t say anything. Soon he stopped playing with me.
I’ll be
judge,
I’ll be
jury,’
Said
cunning
old Fury;
‘I’ll try
the whole
cause,
and
condemn
you
to
death.’
I didn’t know what else to do. I figured I’d come here and write. I was just abused for 2 hrs by an attorney “friend” of mine. I was alrdy having a rough time this week being hit by intense waves of pain but I could turn down the ET, keep busy and stayed energetic. Hopeful boat still afloat.
An attorney that I know is an Angel With a Dirty Face. Great. I might not have realized what was happening but my defenses aren’t up to par this week. He attempted to gaslight and blameshift me. He put ME down… He exaggerated the status of my friend’s case stating they will be “buried under the courthouse.” He contradicted himself repeatedly. I’m in shock. My head hurts. The tears are big and soaking my shirt. I wasn’t prepared for this. I didn’t need this…
There was a lack of grace on my part. I was insulted… I know to many things… He lost a major public case lately. All over the news. He kicked his drug addicted wife out of the house she has broken in, and wants to have him killed. All over the news. The case he offered to work on for my friend just bc “it’s the right thing to do” is going to be harder than he anticipated and now he’s pissed. I apparently “tried to use him.” He’s going to need money now and lots of it! I didn’t tell him “how serious this was.” Are u fucking kidding me I’m a massage therapist and registered nurse…what the fuck do I know about the law??
I wish I could post this conversation. A few not so pleasant reminders from me.
1. Just bc you picked a piece of shit wife doesn’t mean that I’m a piece of shit too.
2. I’ve never used a man but they try to use me. I consulted with you for information and you took the case without me asking. I believe you wanted me to come sit in your hot tub, drink and discuss the case if memory serves.
3. I offered to massage your back for (7) 90 minute sessions in order to help with the cost which you agreed to but you were always “busy.”
4. You haven’t contacted my friend but you have been working the case for several months. The hearing is this Mon and now you are threatening for $?
5. I know you have had a lot on your plate lately I didn’t realize the case was difficult. Maybe you should have known since you are one of the best criminal defense attorneys in the area? Maybe my friend might have saved some money for defense if she knew as well.
6. Do you always take your frustrations out on already stressed single mothers? Is that your thing?
Him
“I don’t know why you need to be so mean..”
“I’m not mad I like you as a friend and I don’t want you upset with me.”
“It will work out. I need to talk to the state.”
“I’ll let you know Monday what happens we are good.”
“We are friends no more arguing.”
“Have a good weekend Jessica. I’m deleting this thread of texts. We start fresh!”
Sweet mother of FUCK!
Don’t call me so early and wake me up! But you told me you love that I always call you early and wake you up on my to work! So I stop. “What is going in, you never call me in the morning like you used too?” “I love that you are disciplined about getting up early to exercise even on weekends. Most people are lazy.” “I’m tired of you always getting up early on our weekends to go run, then coming back to bed. This is my time. I would prefer if you stay in bed with me and then later after we get up we will have coffee and breakfast(which I make).
On one of those days you run…just run away and dont come back
That was about 6 years ago. I ran 10 months ago and I’m still long gone.