´The Game´ Is Always Being Played : The Narcissist Seduces
“Standing in front of the famous Savoy hotel in central London, I wait with a group of students as they finish handing over £600 to the founder and head coach of Street Attraction.
Eddie Hitchens moves himself centre-stage as the men arc around him for their introduction to bootcamp.
“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m a heterosexual sex addict… I’ve been doing Game since 2005, been coaching since 2011.” (There is no such thing as a sex addict. This is a narcissist who does not know what he is, that he believes he is addicted to sex when he is addicted to control and fuel. His belief in being a sex addict is caused by his narcissism. It is the basis for justifying his entitlement to instinctively manipulate other people into behaving like him and to instinctively manipulate victims into giving him control and fuel (he sees it as having sex with him). The belief is also blame shifting. His narcissism causes him to believe that his actions are driven by being a sex addict and as such he has no accountability or culpability for what he does, he blames the addiction. This is the subtle blame shifting of a Mid Range Narcissist. He does not know what he is, he does not accept he is to blame and exhibits a sense of entitlement, a lack of emotional empathy for his victims, grandiosity in being the founder of Street Attraction and a lack of accountability for his actions.)
“Game” is a multi-million pound business where men teach other men how to pick up women. (It is actually where narcissists exert control over other people, which includes teaching other narcissists certain behaviours, teaching normals certain behaviours and victimising normal and empathic people. It is not about picking up women, it is about asserting control over people who are viewed as appliances.)
There’s nothing new about men trying to pick up women.
But in this digital age seduction coaches are selling courses online on how to bed as many women as possible, as quickly as possible. (The technology reach of the narcissist in action.)
They are part of a growing global industry linked through a network of internet video channels with hundreds of thousands of subscribers.
In these videos and bootcamps, only the men are taught the rules.
The women aren’t even aware they are part of a game.
A game that can lead to persistent harassment on the street and dangerously blur the lines of consent. (Substitute this for hoovering, no boundary recognition and the unconscious viewing as an individual as an object.)
Hitchens signals to the rest of the group to introduce themselves, including me: an undercover journalist posing as a new recruit.
It’s an international mix. There’s a chef from Amsterdam, a former US navy officer, a software engineer from Brazil, a computer programmer from Dublin, and a doctor from Manchester. Then it’s my turn.
“Hi. I am Michael Gibson,” I say, while fighting the psychological battle to remember my undercover name, “I am a ‘day game’ beginner who has recently broken up with my girlfriend of six years.”
And, just like that, I’m deep into the weirdest experience of my life: a journey into the so-called seduction industry. (A journey into the dynamic of narcissism and the creation of fuel matrices.)
A-Game
This man is now in prison waiting to be sentenced for threatening and abusive behaviour towards young women.
His name is Adnan Ahmed.
But just a year ago, he was styling himself as a “pick-up artist” called Addy A-Game. Ahmed hung around Glasgow city centre with his fellow “wing men”, secretly filming his interactions with unsuspecting women on the street. (A narcissist acting in tandem with other narcissists or normals. The secret filming demonstrates a sense of entitlement to act in this manner, a lack of emotional empathy for those who are being approached in the way that Ahmed did so (see below) and the fact that they are being filmed without their knowledge and a lack of accountability for these behaviours. There is also evidence of grandiosity as labelling oneself “a pick-up artist” by labelling the behaviour as a narcissist as some kind of artist. The term pick up artist however once again obscures what Ahmed actually is – a narcissist.)
One of his university classmates tipped me off that Ahmed had uploaded over 250 videos, including some of those he secretly filmed, on to his YouTube channel, boasting of his sexual conquests. (Sense of entitlement, grandiosity, lack of emotional empathy, lack of accountability, Provocation.)
Behind a list of controversial and provocative titles – such as “closing girls with boyfriends” and “fat girls should blame themselves” – lay long misogynistic monologues, with Ahmed giving out advice for anyone who wanted to watch. (Objectification, sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, blame shifting, provocation)
“The reason you’re doing it is to get laid,” he said in one video. “Only the brave get laid.” (Actually, the conscious belief is that it is being done is to have sex, but it is solely about a narcissist seeking fuel and control over victims. Those victims include both the normal individuals who are misled into thinking this approach is acceptable and naturally the victims who are those subjected to these invasive techniques. Note the grandiosity associated with declaring “only the brave get laid.”
I tracked down two women who had been approached by Ahmed.
Both said that their encounters with him had stuck with them.
Beth was walking home alone through the main shopping street in Glasgow city centre after finishing her shift.
It was a dark November night and Ahmed stepped into her path.
She was 17 at the time. Ahmed was 37.
“He was like, ‘oh are you Russian?’ Beth recalled. “He was mentioning when he was in Ukraine or something and he had hired prostitutes. He was saying that I’d be like ‘better than prostitutes’. [He had] just a horrible manner.” (No boundary recognition, invasive behaviour, provocation, no emotional empathy, no facade, sense of entitlement.)
He said his name was “Addy”. He kept on asking for her phone number. (No boundary recognition, sense of entitlement.)
He kept trying to touch her. (No boundary recognition, sense of entitlement.)
“I’d said no countless times,” Beth said. “I gave excuses and he was like: ‘Oh it’s fine, like, just give me your number, whatever’.” (No sense of accountability, sense of entitlement, no boundary recognition.)
Beth was shaken and thought that he would leave her alone if she agreed to give him her number. (An understandable but misplaced response. This action of course will have provided fuel, control and encouraged Ahmed further. Beth ought to have walked away from Ahmed to a place where there were other people and called the police.)
“He knew I was going to the bus stop, and he knew I’d be alone for around an hour waiting for my bus.
“So I stayed on the phone to my mum for around 30 minutes beforehand talking her through the situation, and her just trying to give me peace of mind.”
Beth knew this was not just a chat-up. It felt wrong. (Correct although of course Beth does not know what is actually happening and what this person is.)
“It’s not harmless,” she said. “I spent like the whole night kind of terrified.” (The adverse consequence of engagement with a narcissist.)
A friend of Ahmed secretly filmed him as he approached 20-year-old Emily, a Glasgow-based student. Ahmed then uploaded the video to his YouTube channel. (Sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, lack of accountability.)
Emily only found out their conversation was available online when I told her.
Her experience is something I’ve heard from many women who have experienced street harassment. (The behaviour is hoovering during the seduction stage, but is indeed harassment.)
“The ridiculous thing is, in that entire conversation I’m sitting there trying to figure out a way to let him down gently,” she explained. (The impact of emotional thinking taking Emily to an incorrect response.)
“We don’t want to be called ‘a bitch’ for rejecting someone. We don’t want to be called ‘rude’ for just closing the interaction down.” (Such responses are the ignition of heated fury to being wounded of challenged).
In the video, which has since been deleted, Ahmed boasted that if he had met Emily on holiday, he would definitely have had sex with her. (Sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, grandiosity, gathering of fuel.)
Or, as he put it, it would have been a “same day lay”. (Compartmentalisation and objectification.)
“That infuriates me… for him to so painfully mis-read that is frustrating,” Emily said.
“Men assuming that women want to have sex with them is part of a considerably larger problem in our society. He probably didn’t think much by it, just saying this person’s a ‘same day lay’. That interaction was completely misreading my signals.” (His assumption is based on his sense of entitlement, lack of boundary recognition, lack of emotional empathy and objectification of Emily.)
Emily and Beth were not alone. I made a video for BBC Scotland’s digital platform The Social on what I’d found out about Ahmed. It went viral with about two million plays online in the first few days.
There was a demonstration on the streets of Glasgow led by a group of concerned women. At the Scottish Parliament, First Minister Nicola Sturgeon said she had been “shocked and appalled” by what she had seen in my report.
And women kept coming forward. “This man stalked me for months waiting outside my work”… “This guy asked if he could ‘walk me home’… then got so aggressive with me”, “I told him my age and he kept talking to me. He was such a freak”.
Nearly all the stories were about uncomfortable encounters. Many seemed to cross the line from persistence to harassment. Some – it later turned out – were criminal. (These are Ahmed´s seduction hoovers. They are rudimentary and show a huge sense of entitlement to keep behaving in this manner and a lack of accountability – his narcissism causes him to see these women as targets and fair game without giving him any insight into what he is actually doing. He has no culpability for his behaviour, he sees it as justified, it is just part of the game to him.)
Many more than a dozen women gave details to the police following the publication of my report. Within two days of the video being published, Ahmed had been arrested and charged with a string of incidents of threatening and abusive behaviour.
When I first began investigating Ahmed, I did not know that he was part of a wider seduction industry.
I’ve since discovered that he is just one of dozens of pick-up artists online. They share seduction techniques and cross-promote each other’s YouTube channels. (These individuals lack emotional empathy by promoting such behaviour and fail to see, since they lack insight, that they are actually engaging in ensnarement of victims for the purposes of their fuel matrices and the assertion of control. Instead, their narcissism blinds them to this and causes them to believe that it is a legitimate practice of seducing women and becoming more proficient at some kind of skill set – like learning to play cricket or become a better angler.)
When it came to promising quick results, one group stood out from the crowd: Street Attraction. This company offered what they describe as bootcamps that would have men “attracting beautiful women within two days”.
Students were promised online tutorials, follow-up guidance and one-to-one lessons on how to master their masculinity. (Hoovering for the purposes of gathering fuel and control, which is masked in language which sounds macho and masculine.)
Street Attraction had more than 110,000 YouTube subscribers. Its founder Eddie Hitchens even charged for viewing one of his secretly recorded sexual exploits. (Sense of entitlement, boundary violation, lack of emotional empathy, objectification by commoditising the experience.)
“Recording such intimate stuff in general isn’t easy,” Hitchens explained in one video.
“If a girl knows that she is being filmed she obviously won’t act in a natural way and most certainly won’t allow herself to be seduced for fear of her reputation being ruined.
“Because we [Hitchens and his accomplice] wanted to capture real reactions it had to be filmed covertly. Guerilla-style.” (Sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy and again note the grandiosity by comparing such behaviour to a form of guerrilla warfare.)
What’s more, Street Attraction had trained Adnan “A-Game” Ahmed. The bootcamp he attended was filmed and uploaded on his YouTube channel.
That is why I ended up outside the Savoy hotel in central London at a training course for aspiring pick-up artists.
It was a sweltering day and I was wearing a thick quilted-coat to hide a camera and microphone.
There were six students at the bootcamp and my coach was Street Attraction’s founder Hitchens.
The first task was to approach a woman within 30 seconds.
I, like the rest of the students, dispersed across London Bridge which was awash with uniformed police and colourful protesters taking part in an Extinction Rebellion event.
Eventually, I bumped into a couple of women who were standing watching one of the spray-painted bandstands where musicians were doing a sound check.
I had no idea what to say. It was the first test of the day and I was already struggling. I asked a couple of women whether this was some sort of gig.
“No,” one smiled, “this is a protest.”
My question was so naive that it actually worked. (Nothing actually worked, it was called having a conversation. Most people would reply when spoken to and the protestors at the Extinction Rebellion would include a higher than usual number of empaths, thus it was a hunting ground.)
I was chatting away and eventually the other woman offered me a flyer.
The conversation ended politely. I said my goodbyes and returned to the pack.
This is what pick-up coaches call a “cold approach”.
I was told it does not matter if I fancied the woman or not.
Hitchens pointed out a “target” and we were sent to approach by blocking their path. (Provocative, sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy.)
The bootcamp students were now mic’d up so that Hitchens could listen in and critique our performance. (Lack of boundary recognition, sense of entitlement.)
Not that the women knew that.
The irony was not lost on me. I was using covert filming to expose a group who were secretly recording women. I had to ingratiate myself without implicating myself to maintain my cover.
And the approaches made me feel uncomfortable. All the time, I kept on thinking about my sister and cousins and what they would think if they were on the receiving end of the students’ advances. (The journalist exhibits emotional empathy. He would not engage in this behaviour usually because of his natural aversion to such behaviour, his lack of a sense of entitlement, his boundary recognition and his accountability for his actions. Furthermore, he has safe-guarding empathy whereby he actively thinks about how such behaviour would impact on the behaviour of others.)
Dr Rachel O’Neill, an academic at the London School of Economics, has studied the seduction industry for 10 years.
“There’s an idea that seduction essentially provides a blueprint that men can follow as a way of interacting with women,” Dr O’Neill later told me.
“So you’ll be given a more or less scripted set of lines, routines that you can follow.
“Most training camps now will spend the majority of their time out on the streets, in bars, cafés, museums, any public space, actually practising these techniques, putting them into action.
“And that means often unwillingly drawing women into these interactions.” (Note how somebody studying the “seduction industry” fails to identify what it actually involves.)
Some of the women we were told to “approach” looked like teenagers and I told Hitchens I thought they were too young. (The emotional empathy of the journalist again.)
I am 31, and I did not want to approach someone who looked half my age.
Hitchens, who was 34 at the time, took me aside to explain why I needed to be less selective.
“Doesn’t matter,” he told me. “Even if she’s underage, it’s not illegal to stop someone…That was a good target.” (Sense of entitlement, lack of awareness, lack of emotional empathy, failure to “fit in”, lack of accountability).
Day two of the bootcamp. We sat on the steps of Nelson’s column in Trafalgar Square and listened to coach George Massey tell us about the day’s lesson on “LMR”.
LMR stands for “last minute resistance” to sex. It is regarded by the pick-up artists as a women’s token attempt to reject sex – an obstacle to be overcome. (Sense of entitlement, belittlement (the reference to token), lack of emotional empathy.)
“You have to be the one to lead,” Massey explained. “The whole vibe is you take responsibility for it. ‘Yeah, I know, I am just an animal I couldn’t resist’” (Ironically, this is not taking responsibility for it, it is blame shifting by blaming it on the “animal” and demonstrates the lack of accountability and also magical thinking.)
In one of his videos, Hitchens stated that you should “carry on escalating” if a girl says that you are “going too fast”. Hitchens then goes on to say: “If she says, we’ll definitely have sex next time, you can reply with: Why waste time? It’s arrogant to assume that there will be a next time.” (More irony amongst the sense of entitlement, lack of boundary recognition, lack of emotional empathy.)
“There’s an idea with LMR that women put up a certain amount of supposedly token resistance prior to having sex,” explained Dr Rachel O’Neill. “And this is something, again, under seduction logic that women do as a way of trying to safeguard their reputation. And the thing that’s really worrying about this is that it creates a situation in which a woman’s ‘no’ can never be legitimately heard as a no.” (The word “no” is never accepted by a narcissist because it threatens the narcissist´s need for control. A spoken “no” must always be turned into an actioned “no” by removing oneself from the narcissist – i.e. imposing no contact.)
Massey introduced us to the next coach Richard Hood. Massey called him the “King of LMR”. Hood sounded more like a high-pressure salesman than someone genuinely interested in what a woman might want. (That is because he is not, he is interested in control and fuel, although he does not know that.)
“When you get to the apartment tell her to take her shoes off – as soon as you walk through the front door – you start taking your shoes off, it’s basically the first part of escalation,” he told us.
“Some girls can be annoying. If they are already in their shoes and their jacket they’ll be like ‘okay, okay, that’s enough for tonight… we will leave the rest for next time’…Obviously that’s frustrating”
He told us that men can be too preoccupied with consent. (Lack of boundary recognition,sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy.)
“Sometimes guys are a bit too shy or a bit too scared to keep pushing forward [be]cause they [men] want like… they want so much consent. I mean that they want lots of like… a written permission slip from her like, you know, ‘it’s okay that we go all the way’. ‘Cause it’s a nuance, obviously, you have to… you have to feel out the right moment, and sometimes it is your job to push things forward and lead.” (Such reluctance would not be exhibited by the narcissists but by the normals who do have some emotional empathy, but this would be reduced as a consequence of the “teaching” by these narcissists. The normals think that it becomes acceptable to behave in this way as it is “seduction” and consequently the issue of consent is sacrificed as a necessary victim of achieving the seduction. )
I asked criminal barrister Kate Parker for her professional opinion on teaching men how to overcome last minute resistance to sex and showed her some of the coaches’ videos.
“I think it’s really troubling, because it’s encouraging these young men to bypass any red flags that are put up by these women and that they should be sensitive to and alert to, and responding to,” she told me. “From what I’ve seen, there doesn’t seem to be any sexual offences there, yet. But the more they teach last minute resistance, and the more they teach these young men to ignore any signs of lack of consent, the closer we’re getting to sexual offence territory.” (It is not the female victims who are putting up red flags, instead it is the individuals engaging in these techniques. She is correct about the drift into criminality.)
Five months after the bootcamp and I was back in London – this time as a BBC journalist to challenge the pick-up coaches I had met.
After weeks of refusing to engage with me, (Rejection of accountability, silent treatment provided to the threat to the narcissist´s control). I found Eddie Hitchens coaching another group of men. I asked why he pressurised women into having sex. He was outraged.
“That’s completely wrong,” he said. “That’s completely wrong. You have twisted it completely out of context… Bro. It’s an art. It’s an art… It’s completely consensual. (Projection, Grandiosity, Defelction, Delusion.)
“We actually help men…so if anything we help prevent rape culture to help prevent them get involved in anything illegal or non-consensual.” (Delusion, Grandiosity, Deflection. Response to the journalist´s Challenge Fuel which threatens Hitchens´control.)
Richard Hood denied teaching men how to pressurise women into having sex and said all the women were recorded with their consent.
“We never film girls. We’ve had actresses,” he told me. So you’ve done nothing wrong? “Correct” And you don’t think you’re breaking the law? “Of course not.” (Lie, Deflection, Rejection of Accountability, response to Challenge Fuel offered by the journalist through the First Line Of the Twin Lines of The Narcissist´s Defence – Denial.)
After I spoke to Richard Hood, Street Attraction deleted the secretly filmed video I questioned him about. (Revision of History)
Then, shortly before my documentary film was to be broadcast, YouTube removed more than a hundred videos posted by Street Attraction.
A YouTube spokesperson told me the platform had “terminated the channels Addy A Game and Street Attraction.
“YouTube strictly prohibits explicit sexual, graphic or harassing content.
“Nothing is more important than protecting the safety of our community, and we will continue to review and refine our policies in this area.”
Another Street Attraction coach called George Massey later told me he saw his role as “helping people in the dating field”. If he has ever said anything inappropriate to a man seeking support, he said, no-one has ever told him. He said he gets letters of thanks from men who are now in healthy relationships. He added: “I don’t claim to be impervious to error”. (Delusion, Denial, Grandiosity, False Contrition.)
Hitchens denied telling his students that they should approach teenagers. (Lie.)
“Not true,” he said. “The thing that I teach is exactly this. Find out how old the girl is before you do anything sexual, anything flirtatious… You guys are basically misrepresenting what we’re doing. It’s absolutely disgusting and we’ll see you in court.” (Response to Challenge Fuel, Denial, Lie, Revision of History, Threat, Projection, Provocation.)
Meanwhile, back in Glasgow, Adnan Ahmed’s trial has concluded.
One 18-year-old victim who gave evidence described being stopped in a shopping centre by Ahmed, who is now 38.
“He put his hand on my back, at my waist. He put his hand on my cheek and tried to kiss me. I threw my hands up and asked him what he was doing. There was no conversation at all. Then I asked a member of the public if I could stand next to them because I felt vulnerable and isolated. He was bigger than me so I was scared to cause a scene.” (Sense of entitlement, Provocation, No Boundary Recognition, Lack of Emotional Empathy, Physical Assault.)
Giving evidence, Ahmed said his approaches to women were harmless and said that he stopped as soon as he found out if they were 17 or younger. (Lie, Denial.)
The jury disagreed.
Ahmed was convicted of five charges of threatening and abusive behaviour and was remanded in custody for sentence.
He had already spent nine months on remand in jail.
While the case was going on, Rita was at court to support the women. She was one of the women who had blown the whistle on Ahmed’s activities, and it was her call to the BBC that set me off investigating A-Game.
Rita had thought she knew “Addy”.
They were both students at college in Glasgow where they were studying towards a degree in social work. They both lived in the Glasgow area, they shared a car pool to class.
That was until Ahmed missed a day of college, giving one of Rita’s classmates the opportunity to show the rest of the car pool exactly what Addy got up to in his spare time.
Rita was shown a series of images of Ahmed with half-naked women from his Instagram account and YouTube channel. (Sense of Entitlement, Objectification, Grandiosity, Boasting.)
“I was kind of in floods of tears and thinking, what is this, is he like a pimp or is this a prostitution ring?” she said.
“I started looking at the videos and I just felt sick. I felt physically sick. It wasn’t about how to chat up a girl, it was much darker, much darker. They [the women in his videos] don’t know they’re being filmed. They don’t know they’re being recorded. So, right from the off it’s seedy, it’s underhand.” (Indeed, but once again, she does not actually realise what it is.)
“I’ve realised, you know, it’s a universal problem” said Rita. “I just want women and young girls to be aware that there are these predatory men, in our colleges and in our workplaces.” (But again fails to realise what they are.)
Thus, this undercover journalism highlights another way in which narcissism and narcissists are operating, by co-operating with or instructing other unaware narcissists, by manipulating normal men who do not realise what is actually occurring and whose emotional empathy (it is limited but it is there) is put to one side because the normal men are manipulated into thinking that this behaviour is acceptable as part of becoming more proficient at “getting women” and manipulating female victims, some of whom are normal or empaths.
It is a useful piece of journalism and combined with my narration acts to demonstrate how our kind behave. It also, once again shows the absence of knowledge about our kind.
Not once in the article is the word narcissist used by the reporter or those interviewed.
123 thoughts on “´The Game´ Is Always Being Played : The Narcissist Seduces”
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Wow, this is crazy. It makes me worry about young kids and teenagers who see and read about this and don’t yet have the life experience to realise it’s sick and dangerous.
I know it happens and it’s real, but I can’t believe men would actually pay to learn how to do this. Is this the way they perceive women? Is this how they want to have sex and relationships?! This just stops short of justifying and encouraging rape.
30 seconds to find a ‘target’ and approach to say something? Approaching a teenager because talking is not illegal? Who dreams this stuff up? And who falls for thinking this is normal or what ‘seduction’ is?
The public really needs more awareness about narcissism. This kind of behaviour is becoming normalised to the point where even men who pay to learn this can’t see or don’t care that they are being harmed or that it involves assault of women and criminal behaviour.
Dear WiserNow,
I concur with all you have said lovely one
I wasn’t even aware of this happening
I am appalled and horrified at this type of hard core pressure of targeting women (I viewed the programme and the so called “coaches” who defended it )
What I don’t get, is how these gullible men are willing to hand over £600
Another “eye opener” I’ve just come across, is Phil Pringle (former garbage collector) and his C3 church operations …..talk about up front n in your face ..”just gimme your money” ….. and guess what ….. they do 💰😱💰(includes sexual molestation in the church by his leaders, no surprise there) Phil preaches, the more money you “donate” (give ME) the more God loves you 🤣
Jim n Tammy Bakker were novices compared to this deviant creep and his wife
Mr Tudor, thank you for bringing this to our attention, you definitely have your “finger on the pulse” at all times
Your alertness, hard work n effort, is wholeheartedly appreciated
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
You are welcome Bubbles.
By the way, I consumed several of your relatives over the weekend. I am not sorry for it.
I agree with Bubbles HG. Thank you for providing this information and for clearly describing what is happening with regard to narcissism. You consistently hit the nail on the head with precision and decisiveness, something other media providers fail to do. It is very much appreciated.
You are welcome WN and thank you.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Haha cute …where were my relatives from, France ?
Celebrating something special were we ?
Cheers 🍾🥂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Indeed they were.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Most people are drawn to my larger relatives, it’s those tiny bubbles ya gotta watch out for … they leave a hole in your pocket …. 🤣🍾
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you for your lovely comment Bubbles!
I’m appalled and horrified too, at the deviant things some people will do to scam others for money, and also that there are people who agree to hand over their cash to them. What on earth is going on?!
Phil Pringle sounds like a real gem, and so blatant too, “just gimme your money”, and there are people who believe him and do it. God must be up in heaven cringing and shaking his head 😣😑😂
I’ll keep my sheltered life with Netflix in the evening any day of the week, thank you very much! 😂😂
Dear WiserNow,
Thank you lovely for your reply
He does that “touch,heal n fall back” thingy as well 🖐
One church alone rakes in $40mil pa (last count there were 520 churches in 64 countries)
He’s been drawn to media’s attention with all his deceit n lies and blatantly ripping people off thru God so he can live his extravagant lifestyle
We’re all in the wrong business .. grab a microphone get up on stage and start talking motivational mumbo jumbo and your rich 💰….ohhhh, also chuck in the good ol hard luck story how you started rock bottom, goes down a treat 🤣
I’m with you WiserNow, Stan/Netflix will do me just fine 🤣
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Now that I think about it, there’s a definite difference between the PUA types and your basic butthole-on-the-street. When I lived in NY, I got a certain amount of “Pssst! Hey, babe! Hey, mama! Lookin’ good, baby!” etc. I’m not sure why the leaky-steampipe sound was supposed to be attractive, but that was pretty much the full amount of annoyance it caused.
On my most recent visit, I was on a subway platform, speculating with some strangers about the latest delay: sick passenger? Track fire? Police action? There was a middle-aged man, looking (I now realize) like an extra from Magnolia in a scene from Tom Cruise’s workshop–sort of dumpy, wearing a polo shirt and khakis as if they were some sort of costume. He was staring intently at us, but did not join the conversation. Finally, a train pulled up, but not the one I needed. He got up, suddenly handed me a card, and said, “CALL ME.” I said truthfully, “I don’t live here anymore,” he said “oh,” in a disappointed voice and got on the train.
I wasn’t there to audition, I wasn’t wearing makeup or looking particularly hot. I now think I was being used as practice–assigned homework to prepare him for when he would try this on a REAL babe. There was a desperation I never sensed from “Pssst! Hey, mama!”
I don’t want to be around when this guy finally realizes that all those classes aren’t upping his success rate, and pulls a George Sodini on the nearest exercise class.
I believe I witnessed my first ever PUA in action the other day.
It bugged me because when I had a front side seat watching it as I could NOT sense any narciness. Knew I’d seen a predator though. Now I understand, it was a normal. He fucking should have known better.
AND he got what he came for, her phone number. She gave it without hesitation. Once he had it, he thanked her and promptly left. (If anyone wants the details, I will write it and link back to this one again.)
Of course, I could not stand by. (And I would urge any person who reads NS to do the same if you perceive it to be safe to do so. I quietly introduced myself and gently pointed out to her that the man she had just given her number to was a predator and that when he rings (and he will), don’t answer it. I warned her that people really are not what they seem to be at times. That was all.
She was an empath. Young and pretty and monumentally distracted by her phone. If she paid heed to my warning, who can say?
What I did take away from observing this is how polite and well mannered he was. Not pushy at all. Was he then a predator? Rather than a young man who was simply chancing his arm?
He called himself a photographer.
BIG SCREAMING BLACK FLAGS! AND WAVING KLAXONS!
Don’t assume every person you meet will not attempt to abuse you. Looks like the norms are now gedging into The Game.
I’m in no way condoning predatory actions but ladies, please don’t group all men who approach women as narcissists or predators because it’s not true.
A hammer can be used to build things or break things. People like Addy referenced in this article are not representative of all men who want to meet a good woman by using the approach method. When I learned about approaching women, it wasn’t for sex. I was divorced from a 16yr marriage, emotionally healing and I had no idea how to meet someone to date again. Learning how to approach women probably saved my life.
Not all men who use the approaching method are predators. Most of these men learn how to communicate with women because they are awkward, maybe not the best looking and have little chance of obtaining a real relationship. Online apps are very superficial and don’t let a mans personality shine through. And what if we don’t use online dating apps? Are we not allowed to say hello to stranger? How did people date before online dating apps? By learning how to have confidence and approach someone they find attractive, us good men have a chance to find a long-term relationship.
Righty-O!
I have linked it back to here AND have written a piece too. This does need to go viral.
Again thanks, HG.
Everyone! Here are some articles where you can spread HG’s work. His work is important for helping victims of abuse.
Go to these links and comment on the story. Provide this link with your comment: https://narcsite.com/2019/10/10/the-game-is-always-being-played-the-narcissist-seduces/
HG helps us so much for FREE. Please share his work.
Here are the places to comment:
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/comment/
https://www.askmen.com/dating/player_100/121_love_games.html
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/pickup-artists-share-creepy-list-of-public-venues-to-approach-targets/news-story/
https://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/17961164.youtube-deletes-videos-related-pick-up-artist-accounts
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2018/12/5-pick-up-artist-techniques-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-players-use-to-unsettle-you/
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/inside-britains-seduction-bootcamps-teaching-men-pick-women/
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Thank you Whitney, HG approves.
In my country, this culture of violence and domination over women is also created by artists – music creators. The lyrics of the band T.Love below:
In the evening in the city – me
In the evening in the city – you
Neon lights speak to me
Women like this movie
In the evening in the city – rain
In the evening in the city – you
Neon lights speak to me
Women like this movie
Women like …
Women like this movie
Your heels – knock
Evening in the city – night
Neon lights speak to me
Girls like this boxing
Girls like …
Women like this coke
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie
These are the secrets of cities
These are gate traps
Women like this trance
Girls like this state
I am a torturer
Women like this condition
These are city ambushes
These are gate traps
Neon signs speak to me today
Girls like this trance
Women like …
Women like this condition
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie, this movie, this movie
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie, this movie, this movie
In the evening in the city
Women like this movie
These are gate traps
These are city ambushes
In the evening in the city – you, yes!
In the evening in the city – me
Women like …
Women like this trance
In the evening in the city
Women like this trance
In the evening in the city
Women like this condition
In the evening in the city
Women like this trance, this trance, this trance
In the evening in the city
Women like this condition
Hello everyone! Awesome blog!!!Wow so much great info and so many questions. Where do I start? And what are the rules? I am new to this. Glad a friend of mine referred me here. Great place!
Welcome Hannah, what are the rules? See the Rules section in the menu.
Hello Hannah!
Welcome to the blog.
Thank you K 🙂
My pleasure Hannah!
Hannah
Hello and welcome. You have a very good friend indeed to refer you here and you will feel as though you have many more. I suggest you read the articles and the comments that follow (also older ones) as that will answer a lot of your questions. The books are excellent as well. If the questions are more specific in nature that’s where the consults with HG come in. Dig in and expect much clarity.
Thank you NarcAngel. I appreciate it 🙂
Wow such an eye opener. Thank you! My first time on the blog and I am grateful to s friend who referred me here. But how can a narcissist help other people HG Tudor? That’s oxymoron:) unless of course you do it to benefit yourself which makes much more sense, cause Help and narcissist never go along . )
You have answered your own question Hannah. Welcome to the blog.
Thank you!
Mija,
“I am a torturer. Women like this condition.” That is sick.
Who goes out in the evening in the city most of all and listens to this kind of music? Teenagers and young men and women who go out clubbing or drinking or socialising. Imagine what the future will be like if this is the general way they are being conditioned to think in their youth.
This made me think about a conversation I had with EX-N#3. During the lovebombing/seduction stage I accused him of all his actions and comments coming straight out of a playbook!
I have posted this article on my social media, because I truly believe this is critical information for people to have. My question is ( and I’m wondering if anyone else is questioning this with their narcissists in mind): If my EX-N. was to see this, thinking I am referring to him and that conversation, especially if he gets the impression that I’m also calling him a narcissist; would this wound him. Or would his narcissism cause him to believe he is normal and was just using a pick-up artist site or being accused of using one. Also could this bring about malign hoovers?
HG, I have 2 EX-N.s and some minions that regularly troll me. Also the gaslighting which I won’t go into detail here (details will have to be in a consultation) involves terrorizing me in my own home where I should feel safe. I should feel fear, but refuse to be intimidated. In hindsight, I guess I just worry that I might bring them to your doorstep and will have to go back to remaining silent on this site.
1. Thank you for sharing.
2. It would be Challenge Fuel.
3. It might cause malign hoovers but this depends on many factors such as the school of narcissist, what is happening in their fuel matrix, how easy it is for them to contact you and other factors besides. I can be more accurate through a consultation.
4. His narcissism would reject the suggestion he is a narcissist.
5. I doubt you will bring them here, if you do I will spot them and halt them in their tracks. Do not be silence in this place, it is a place of logic and understanding, use it. As for their behaviour towards you, do organise a consultation and I will help you to deal with them.
Thank you HG,
I will definitely arrange a consultation soon. Just got to decide which one to start with. Could probably use all of them right now!
I look forward to assisting you
Wow. So many thoughts, questions, and reminders as I read the report, but at least the behaviours were answered fully with HG’s excellent and accurate narration (specifically naming the manipulations and tactics used). When Addy plays on the girl’s reluctance in giving her number and not wanting to be rude to him by rushing her and belittling her hesitation by saying “Oh it’s fine, like, just give me your phone number, whatever” it reminded me of a time when I was badgered for my phone number and when I ignored him, he threw out: “Hey give me your email – I’ll try it” like he was affording me some special privilege lol. One of the women I was with thought I was a bitch for being dismissive, so that cemented for me the attitude of “not wanting to be seen as rude” aspect that Emily referred to.
You really have to be some epic kind of a loser to enrol in Schools for Tools. Who knew?
Well thanks to Myles Bonnar and HG – now we do. Time to spread the awareness.
NA—yes, one would have to be an epic loser to enroll in such a thing. It’s a really good idea to really show this to a vulnerable population of women. At my age it wouldn’t be an issue but as a college student who knows?..
Schools for Tools hahaha NA
I suspect most, if not all women have sleazy tool experiences. And not just one incident. Whilst reading this last night, I got a flashback to one of my own sleazebag experiences as a teenager. I was climbing the ladder out of a public pool and this man (in his 20s at most) decided it was ok to put his hand up my swimmers bottoms and fondle my crotch. I did nothing, said nothing to anyone. Didn’t look back. I can still see his face in my mind, looking at me as I was going to climb the ladder. I was 15 at the time and if I was more experienced and educated, I’m sure I would’ve at least reported him to the lifeguards. Who knows how many other girls he did that to. Educating teenage girls that it’s their right to be ‘rude’ or a ‘bitch’ when harassed in any way needs to be spread.
I read the article this morning and have been musing on it since. I find it an essential piece of the puzzle that I could never put together. I have always been convinced that gender-violence in all its manifestations, be it sexual, physical, or psychological, is clearly a manifestation of the theory of relative deprivation (I’m mostly referring to males abusing females, children, or members of the LGBTQ). The idea is that the frustration of realizing you don’t have something others do have, creates the necessary amount of entitlement to make a person want to solve that “injustice” by taking what they believe should be a right. Females are indiscriminately viewed in this case as material possessions. It is obvious in this case that the members of this “Game” initiative feel entitled to obtain what they think they should get by right, and that they just view women as objects or even less, as scores that make them feel victorious in their pathetic game of accumulating sexual experiences (aka, obtaining fuel). I never understood why, however, powerful people like Weinstein would feel any “deprivation.” Now I do. Your sharp analysis puts all the pieces together: acting out of entitlement, haughty attitude, lack of accountability in exposing the videos without any shame, lack of empathy for the women they harass and seeing them as mere appliances, plus magical thinking in believing they are masters at the pick-up skills when they are clearly harassing women in a very unsophisticated manner. All of this is revolting, even more so if you think that society tends to forget the perpetrators and focus on what can the victim do to resist these attacks. Pretend you’re crazy so that they don’t talk to you (I found that extremely funny btw), pretend to talk on the phone and ignore them, carry pepper spray with you, which is what I do and I would have already sprayed the eyes out of that motherfucker… but the issue is them, not the victims that are being targeted. We can just hope that the medical community and institutions at large are more aware of narcissism and the impact it has on society and decide to invest in researching more on it. I’m definitely sharing this and shedding light on it in all the ways that I possibly can. Thank you for providing this information and for opening our eyes.
PS: Share it with Dr. O?
Whilst it may not be fair that the focus is on what you have to do to avoid it, that is the situation and you have to deal with it in terms of applying no contact.
Oh I know, I am not questioning NC. Of course, for Empaths to decide to go NC, they need to fully know why. That’s why information like the one in this analysis is crucial. For example, I heard from a friend my narc has a serious problem with a family member’s health. My ET wants to act civil and send him a message. My logical thinking says if you do, you know how this is gonna end. Thus, I’m not breaking NC, don’t worry. But not everyone knows that you cannot be just civil or friendly, like the women that shared their phone numbers. That’s why I’m sharing you article.
Shared. Thank you for this. The part about claiming sex addiction hit home for me. My Mid-Ranger ex said (when having to confess to a 7 year-long affair with his friend’s wife, after she followed me and sent me threatening texts), “I don’t know why I do it. Maybe I’m a sex addict or something…drama seems to follow me…I know my life is a cesspool…she was just a pressure release for me when my marriage turned bad…my wife refused to have sex, claimed the chemo made sex hurt…but she could have done other things, a man has needs…chemo kills more than cancer does, she should have let her body heal itself….I took such good care of her and she was just hateful and never grateful…I really think she’s a lesbian (25 years of marriage)…I ended it with her (the friend’s wife) when I ended my marriage…I just want to put it all behind me.”
He had absolutely no awareness of just how appalling this conversation was. Who the F says stuff like that?!?!?!
Thank you for doing so.
Wow! I saw the original article a day after the Panorama programme was aired and was gutted I missed it but I too didn’t associate it with Narcissism. I did, at the time, associate it with how Middle Eastern men scam women for sex and money, but then again, a lot of Middle Eastern men are bought up in a controlling Male environment.
Thank you HG for adding your dissection of the article.
You’re welcome
I just finished reading this HG,this was appalling. I saw how these men had no accountability when asked near the end from Michael they denied it. Makes me sick to my stomach. I cant believe they are pick up coaches more like pick up artists to me. I am definitely going to share this today.
Thank you .
You are welcome.
In the support group subculture there is the cheeky idea of a “13th Step” which targets the seduction of a new attendee.
Same entitlement, same predatory behavior, same Game.
Thank you for the eye opening article. I will be thinking about this for a long time to come; sharing this info, crediting you, and starting discussions.
Well identified Sandra. Thank you for sharing.
Another thing is the fact these low lifes think they can put their hands on women like theyve consented. If a guy put his hands on me hed end up with a slap or sharp elbow to the gut. It takes gall to touch women like they want to be man handled. I cant believe these men think this is ok.
Chi mom—I agree re, men who think they can touch. I got an oil change this morning. The manager and I have known one another awhile. He hides behind a veil of religion. I traveled to see my mother, mentioned I had a two hour drive ahead and he created an excuse to grab me in a hug and said he just needed to hold onto me to pray for safe travel. (No boundaries—we don’t “have it like that!”) I was amused because he’s a loser and I know he’s a complete joke, but sadly—some women would really feel he cared and that he was a “man of God!” Hallelujah! Douche bag. Or they would feel violated which I didn’t—he’s no harm to me. But they don’t think of their impact or know they have a negative impact!
Hi lorelei….i know the type i had an uncle like that who was a perv. I always kept my distance bc he would make excuses to hug or joke around how grown up id become. Im sure he had no clue i knew what a sleaze he was. Gives me the creeps.
My brother in law the same thing major creep factor i never hug him its handshake only.
Another huge pet peeve is construction workers that oogle and make comments they make themselves look so pathetic!
C-mum,
I remember reading an article many years ago. Construction workers explained why they feel compelled to do it in this particular case – when at work and their colleagues might be watching/hearing.
It is not about women at all but about *themselves*: how they are perceived by their own colleagues. If they do not say anything to women, they are considered to be ‘homosexual’ by their work colleagues. If they say something, they are heterosexual.
It was a long article including interviews and other possibilities for them to stop doing it. They felt relieved when other ways were found to deal with it and they did not have to do it anymore.
Hi E.B…..ty for your reply. Thats interesting but i think it also has a lot to do with the types of men that are in construction. Many are lesser narcissists bc they arent as educated and many labour workers are hired right off the street. This isnt always the case some have their trade certificates but there are many highschool drop outs that work in the construction industry. Many are lower achievers and they have that mentality where their masculinity amounts to wolf whistling and saying crude things.
Some women may love that but it annoys me. It feels like an infrigment of my personal space when im walking by and want to be left alone. Its not as serious as what this guy is doing but it still is imo disrespectful to women and shows them to have zero class.
This really burns my butt. I hate these types of men! I have had men with cheesy pick up lines and men that oogle and it is so annoying! I look down on these types as bottom of the barrel. This is in no way meant to be racist but i have found middle eastern men the worst for being pushy in this regard. The scary thing is in their countries if a woman resists she can find herself maimed by an acid attack or abused other ways and its A OK legally.
These so called courses are a sure fire way to get yourself in a lot of trouble and earn a bad reputation as a sleaze bucket. In this day in age men should know better. Its one thing to playfully flirt but quite another to pester and be a pain in the ass not taking no for an answer. The mere fact this low life is scaring women is unacceptable grrrrr terrible!
Then do something about it using this article C-Mum.
Enabling notification of comments 😅
A M A Z I N G
I am so glad you covered this! Remember a few weeks back we had the PUA discussion in another comment thread? I don’t even recall what sparked it. But this exposure is so huge and important. I believed there was *some* narc/PUA overlap before, but the way you break it down here just goes to show that I STILL am somewhat naive and vulnerable — as there are some very famous “master PUAs” that I would not have considered to be narcs. Wow.
This needs to go viral. HG, maybe consider hashtagging PUA and seduction industry on insta? And #datingculture ? This info has got to hit the mainstream.
I recall the thread. It does need to go viral and that is where you all come in.
PSE was featured prominently in that thread. Where is PSE?
It would be great if this article was presented for discussion amongst students in both high schools and colleges, and that techniques are taught to young women for dodging these predatory narcissists and misguided men…. AND it’s a neat introduction to HGs work.
It’s disturbing but unsurprising that narcissistic behaviour is being normalised. I’m sure there are many more male viewers of the associated YouTube channels/social media sites than actually attend the ‘boot camps’.
Of course they target younger women. Not only for their youth but also for their lack of experience in assertiveness and their hesitance to offend… due to general female conditioning and also for fear of their physical safety.
It’s important that young women are taught to project an air of defiance and intolerance for this type of behaviour. As HG outlines in the article, it can be as simple as walking away and calling police if they don’t stop their harassment.
Emotional self defence and physical self defence should be mandatory for high school girls. Also, young males need to be exposed to this in order to realise that this type of behaviour is inappropriate and unacceptable. It’s a great way to illustrate the whole issue and dilemma in a format that will appeal to young adults. Especially vital for teenagers who live in emotionally damaging/dysfunctional homes.
I urge anyone who is connected to high schools and colleges whether through attending children or teaching, or in any way, to bring this article to the relevant school departments attention. It may not be taken on board by all, maybe not many, but I believe in the ripple effect and it will strike a chord with some teachers, somewhere and ultimately teach some young adults some vital life skills.
I plan to print it out and provide an accompanying introductory letter and send to the high schools and colleges in my area.
Such a strong piece HG, on so many levels.
Thank you TT and I appreciate you sending the piece to schools in the area. If I am not mistaken, I understand you are Australian, this article would doubtless attract attention on Whirpool (if you or any other Australian readers would spread the link to the article there) and gain additional coverage on that forum.
Thanks for the Whirlpool suggestion HG, will do today. I’m blissfully unaware of many online forums/sites. I’m currently composing the cover letter. It needs to be concise and pique the recipients curiosity. If I can get access to the relevant teachers email address in many other high schools, I’ll distribute this electronically as well.
If I had a Facebook account, I guess I could post it on school websites (I’m not sure if the general public can post on educational websites) but I’m not… and I won’t. Though I could ask my children to… they enjoy and learn from your posts.
Thank you for doing so TT.
I was watching the Panorama program on telly. That these guys are narcissists only occurred to me when they blatantly denied what they were doing, in spite of the evidence. I then remembered the twin lines of defence. But after reading so much of HG’s material, I should have realised earlier in the program what they actually are. Need to keep up the reading!
Was narcissism mentioned at all during the television programme Lia? I suspect not.
No, it wasn’t mentioned at all, I suspect because they don’t know what narcissism is. Until I accidentally stumbled upon your material, I didn’t know as well, even though I was married for over 20 years to a narcissist.
Time to change that then.
They’ve never mentioned narcissism on any of the talk shows covering the PUA routine here in the US. But it explains the pervasive vibe on PUA sites: not lust, but boasting about their supposed conquests to other guys and feeling superior, rage when a Stacy (usually blonde cheerleader type) turns them down for a Chad (blonde preppy football player), and even worse rage when a Becky (brunette, average looks) turns them down, because Becky, at least, ought to be humbly grateful.
If they ever do get sex, they are clearly thinking more about telling the other guys on the PUA site about their success than they are on anyone’s physical pleasure, including their own.
It’s like they’re all stuck in high school. They weren’t popular jocks, but they also weren’t stoners or outcasts who did what they wanted to do because no one ever approved of them anyway.
They’re still trying to get someone’s approval, even if it’s only Ahmed’s or Roush-V’s.
See Tom Cruise’s character in the film “Magnolia,” and have a good look at the guys in his audience.
“Respect the cock!”
“Taming the cunt.”
I knew guys in Jr. High who had better technique.
Mind boggling information. Thanks for confirming that this is going on. Many of us suspected there was some kind of Narc training ground.
I noticed on Instagram the advertisements of some audio books I suspect is another source for Narc training.
Dark Psychology Secrets
The art of Reading People
How To Talk to Anyone
Manipulation (Techniques in Dark Psychology)
The Gaslight Effect
Subliminal Psychology
I haven’t looked into them yet, but they all seem to be books on mental manipulation and brainwashing.
Dale Carnegie’s book is listed with these, though that is considered salesman techniques.
Care to comment on these, HG?
I suspect the Narc in my life, and his business mentor (a master Narc I had an involvement with 15 yrs ago) studied the above books. Now I need to read them.
Thanks, as always.
I do not know the books so I am unable to comment specifically, but anything that has been written with a view to enabling someone to manipulate another person is :-
1. Highly likely to be written by a Mid Range Narcissist , or
2. Is a mis-guided normal.
If the books are about allowing people to understand what manipulation looks like and the psychology behind it (and not designed to be implemented) that is different.
I’ll be reading some. The gaslighting book appears to he just informative, the others appear to be how to manipulate and get control of others.
Very interesting HG…so men who state they’re sex-dependent should be narcissists? Is it possible that there are men who loves having sex, and having it with many different women without being narcissists? It’s such a blurred line… Furthermore my narc acted exactly in opposite way. He stated he wasn’t interested in sex at all, but he was able to pick up a lot of women. What is the difference between the narcissist described here and a narcissist who behaves like mine? Perhaps they belong to different schools? If so, the first should be a Lesser and mine a Mid-Range. Could it be so?
It is a very significant indicator, but must always looked at in conjunction with other behaviours because it is the pattern of behaviour, the aggregate of the behaviour which is determinative.
Yes, you will be dealing with different schools and cadres.
One of my friends told me that she was approached by a guy yesterday and asked her: What are you waiting for?… She pretended not to know english so he would leave her. She was waiting for me as i was a bit late.
There is one shallow and narrow-minded pick-up artist ( most probably mid-range somatic narc) who has more than 20 year experience in pick-up and teaches men how to be alpha-males and which types of women to avoid…(among those types were women who are narcissists). There is one video in which he calls single women over 30 as damaged goods. He also has videos called: Why women can’t be loyal and why women can’t love men.
One of his videos popped up among recommended videos. That is how i know about his channel.
There was a discussion the other day on if a lesser or mid could bump up to a greater with education. Obviously the answer is no but it lead me to think how awful it would be if there were “support groups” where greaters would teach other narcissist how to manipulate more effectively. I dismissed the thought because it was so absurd. And now here we are with exactly that. Im so disturbed by this, especially the LMR. Some women have no problems saying no and leaving a situation that they are uncomfortable in but there are sooooo many women that will use these LMR lines to get out of a situation because they are shy, scared or don’t want to come off as rude or a bitch. LMR in my opinion means “NO”. This article and HGs analysis is so important because women need to be able to identify these predators and be taught that clear boundaries (no, get out, leave) are necessary.
Thank you for posting and bringing awareness to this HG. You are right when you said that as a consequence of what they are teaching, normals will be made to believe this is acceptable behavior.
Indeed and you are welcome.
“normals will be made to believe this is acceptable behavior.”
And imagine the nerve of the one instructor to say these lessons would help prevent rape culture!
Indeed but of course once you understand who is saying it, it makes perfect sense.
Thank you! it was very educational. i can finally explain all the weird events i experience nearly daily.
since i was 13 years old, walking alone on the street or taking the bus in certain cities is akin to a trip to devil’s land, even though i never wear anithing attractive or use make up, it seemed that just being a woman was a great sin.
i’v always strugeled to understand why can’t they just accept a no as a responce, and if there really is in there minde a possibility that i’d answer somthing like ” i never saw you, you walked behinde me during 20 minutes, so i will be your girlfriend” but i’v never linked it to narcissism.
And he has the audacity to call it art !!! the only thing his “art” inspires me is the intense need to take a shower with boiling water and bleach, to wash away the disgust i feel after seeing his eyes on me.
You are welcome.
This is why I learned to twitch and mutter to myself on the subway, as so many New Yorkers do. Many narcs don’t want to approach a probable druggie or loony because other narcs might look down on them for not being able to nail somebody better.
Violetta,
i always remember jokes i’v been told and end up laughing alone on the street or the bus, but it is not so effective, some even view it as an invitation.
I will try the muttering, may be i’ll get a better result.
Or offer to tell them about Jesus. Or Cthulhu. Doesn’t matter as long as you sound as vapid and spacey as possible. Look up interviews with Manson Family members like Squeaky Fromme, and use that delivery.
Giggling just makes them think you might be drunk, therefore vulnerable. You don’t want to be drunk, you want to be schizophrenic.
Better still, walk away or talk into your phone and ignore them.
HG: If they’re hitting on you, yes. If they’re about to mug you, crazy works better.
Violetta, would you put Jesus in the same category as cthulu. No offense but people who follow the teachings of Jesus do not end up as victims based on the teaching of no sex before marriage. So they would simply say no. Christianity is a choice and folks are free to reject it. But thats a whole different discussion.
I agree though. What is happening is appalling. Thanks HG for sharing and I will do the same.
Thank you for doing so
i would like to try your advices Violeta, but unfortunately in real life i’m totalty unable to align two words in these kinde of situtions, i’ll will go withe no responce and the phone talking.
Joy&Love:
These PUA guys have been taught not to listen to “No.” These are not shy guys learning how to chat up girls at bars; they’re being encouraged to intimidate underage girls into giving them their phone numbers. They can call it seduction all they want, but the techniques are designed to produce he said-she said situations where he can honestly claim, “hey, I didn’t pull a gun on her or anything.”
I do believe in Jesus, as it happens, but “No, it’s a sin” didn’t stop
Alessandro Serenelli from stabbing 12-year-old Maria Goretti to death.
Cthulhu is useful for weirding people out so they go away. I had a friend who used a similar method to get home from her boyfriend’s in Harlem: she wore Daisy Maes, Daisy Dukes, her strawberry blonde hair in pigtails, and white cowgirl boots, and SKIPPED–not walked, never ran: SKIPPED all the way to the El.
No one ever bothered her.
No contact is the effective response.
An article about the lowest form of vile degenerate waste pouring from the sewers of society. What a shame the journalist didn’t investigate root cause and ask himself exactly why grown men are behaving this way?! All roads would’ve led him to narcissism and more than likely Narcsite.
Many thanks for a harrowing but vitally important read HG – I will give the Street Attraction team a giant swerve.
You are welcome. Ensure you share this article.
Yes indeed HG – I will do so. We have a shock jock in Australia called Kyle Sandilands, I will send it on to him also as it appears to be right up his alley.
Have you seen ‘the film The Joker?’ This I also see as a great opportunity for profiling narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder is mentioned in the film aka his mother was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and diagnosed. There is no greater relatable example of the impact of NPD than its creation of the world’s most well-recognised psychopathic killer. Food for thought?
Thank you for doing so.
I have not seen it. I actually found Heath Ledger´s performance in The Dark Knight annoying (I know he received much praise for it, so it is a matter of opinion) and I understand that Joaquin Phoenix¨s performance has also won praise. I may see it given what you have written.
I would recommend it – the central focus of the film is the character of the Joker but his history and context e.g., finding out that his mother was a narcissist and had lied to him about his family situation is what tipped him over the edge and perpetuated the carnage.
Joaquin Phoenix provides a watered down version of the Joker as compared with Heath Ledger and therefore more tolerable given the amount of screen time he gets. I think it will still grate, but the acknowledgement of NPD was a noteworthy inclusion.
I hope to hear what you think? There is a lot of ‘Lesser’ action and some ‘mid-range’ in this film. You won’t find a HG Tudor.
Ha ha, there´s only one place to find an HG Tudor.
Thank you for your appraisal of that aspect of the film.
My Dear HG 🥰 I just watched the Joker and I’ve never seen anything like it. Joaquin Phoenix is nuts. So dark and bizarre. I loved it.
You could be a film maker HG. You’re an artist and genius 💜
Thank you Whitney
Fingers crossed Kyle talks about this on-air, Sarah.
He has a large audience! Why, is beyond me.
TT, beyond me too but I think ‘The Game’ material aligns perfectly with his lack of decorum. I shouldn’t really be using Kyle as a representative of Aussies on an international forum like this *face palms* – people will get the wrong idea about us (he he).
Sarah
We’re already being embarrassed internationally thanks to scomo and our climate policies so Kyle won’t be out of place. Oh, how could I forget Ms Hanson.
But wait, there’s more!
I will stop though.
It’s all quite depressing tbh. Narc populists rule ATM.
I can’t believe they call this “Game”. It’s rudimentary, disgusting and off putting. I can’t believe it works at all, much less enough to have people pay for lessons!Grandiosity at its finest. Gross!
Thank you for making us aware, HG.
It was big in the US during the Oughties. There was a show on MTV called The Pick-Up Artist featuring a rather seedy-looking guy called “Mystery.” Another self-described PUA, Rouch-V, had a blog where he told guys how to do this (maybe still does), and they would exchange Field Reports about Negging, Wingman Rules, etc.
I suppose that’s what the Skate Douche I encountered at the ice rink had been consulting when he deliberately cause a collision in an effort to “help” me. His “help” gave me a concussion and back injury, which I didn’t feel like suing him or the rink over, since a) I could walk away, and b) I was already involved with legal issues from a death in the family and a BS landlord. I did, however, still have my subway reflexes, so I nailed him in the family jewels at least once with my skates on the way down. Last I saw of him, he was gesticulating indignantly in the rink manager’s office.
Violetta
I was fascinated by Mystery and was glued to that program. I was disappointed when it was cancelled. I was so intrigued by his techniques and how someone who looked like THAT -and pranced around in those outlandish outfits -could be as successful as he was with all types of women. Sadly, at the time I wasn’t the least bit offended by how women were being objectified, misled and taken advantage of. When this topic came up a few weeks ago, I dug into the seduction industry and found him again, with some updates to his material. I still didn’t see him as a narcissist. An opportunist, yes. Someone monetizing their sleazy tricks, yes. But HG highlighting the fact that these men are purely after fuel and control – both from their students and from women – makes SO much sense.
Yep. In Magnolia, Cruise’s contempt for both his customers and the women he’s sending them out to harass is palpable.
I am so proud of you for doing this. I really am. You regularly go over what you need to do just to maintain the blog and of course write your books. This is something else.
It’s the time and the effort you have put into examining a really dark area of the web. I had heard this was going on and I maybe thought (especially with incels), that’s sedition. Norms are being whipped up by the unaware narcs who are also exchanging ‘pro-tips’. Time to time I shudder when I hear about the rescinding of abortion in some US states or anything about ‘The Handmaids’ Tale’. (Still haven’t gone near book or series. That is avoidance. It’s telling me something.) Trump, Epstein and Andy. Three very frightening men.
What has surprised me in your piece is how much of a cash cow this is. This tells me something really interesting which funnily enough tallies in with a post I put on here yesterday about the rates of DA/DV plus convictions in the UK in 2018 which are out of control. Men are willing to part with £600 when all I need to tell them is, ‘Don’t be a cunt!’ Bonkers!
This then leads me to another proposition. Women are reducing the amount of men they casually date. Ergo; less sex (or as you say HG, fuel.) Fuel cessation crisis. Market opening. It really is getting that desperate, isn’t it?
Again, so chuffed that you got Ahmed. Bang to rights. Now off the street in chokey and with justice served. Also, the women that you interviewed have had their voice heard. it’s getting harder and harder to do. More importantly, YOU have saved other women from this abuse.
You’ve saved other women.
This is the first piece that I’ve read from a male who clearly understands what females are up against. I too shall reblog.
Thank you.
Ren DEFINITELY Approves.
You are welcome.
HG. How should young girls and women handle ..these men/ narcs in their faces to keep from harassing them on the streets ?
1. Apply no contact.
2. Call HG.
Carry Alka-Seltzer tabs in your pocket. When you see one of them appraching, discreetly palm one onto your tongue.
By the time he gets to you, you should be foaming at the mouth.
The journalist probably has no idea that he’s dealing with narcissists. I must admit, before reading this blog, I wouldn’t have associated this situation with narcissism either, but your explanation is very clear HG. It makes sense when you point it out.
Exactly and that is why this work is head and shoulders above anything else. If people do not realise they are dealing with someone who does not know what they are and why they behave that way and that they will not change, they will keep trying to engage with the individual rather than apply no contact.
Your completely right. The girl who gave the man her phone number to get him off her back, and the other girl who was trying to think of a way to let the man down gently… they had no idea at all that they were taking completely the wrong stance.
The moniker “grooming gang” gets thrown around a lot on the news, but not once are these gangs publicly associated with narcissism. It would help so many people to realise what they are dealing with.
Lisa makes a good point about sharing this. I shall follow suit.
Thank you providing such important information HG.
You are welcome, do ensure you share this important information TPOT.
Oh I did. I shared it to Facebook. I don’t use much in the way of other social media.
It’s a start.
Brilliant that you’ve put this on your blog HG and just sickening to read. I’m going to share this with as many people as I can.
Indeed Lisa and it is important to share this work far and wide, thank you for doing so.