HG Tudor – Interview
I was recently interview by Dr Natalie Jones and as always, hearing what I have to say is both informative and entertaining so pop those headphones on, have your favoured drink to hand and listen here
243 thoughts on “HG Tudor – Interview”
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HG
I suspect that Jodi Arias was asserting supremacy when she made that statement.
I’m late to hearing this interview.
Made me very sad to hear that matrinarc made you stand in the snow bare foot etc.
I hope her house gets burgled and she develops alopecia
Don’t worry, she will be dealt with. They all will.
Fuck 👏 it 👏 up 👏 HG 👏
You could put neet or nair in her conditioner 😱😱 i didnt say that!!!
Still listening to the interview its really great HG!!
Is the interviewer a regular on the blog? Love south african accents😍🤗
I am pleased you are enjoying it.
Charles is not a regular commenter. If I recall correctly he has read many of my books and digested my work on Youtube, so I do not think he has frequented the blog.
HG….Don’t worry, she will be dealt with. They all will.
This sent shivers up my spine!!!!!!!!!!!
great interview!
Thank you.
Hi HG, I have yet to read the oh so many comments. I am a bit perplexed by this interview. You did well… given the interviewer. Yet, I feel she was scripted. Her questions were weak and she did not feed well with your answers. It was such a rudimentary interview. There were so many instances (had she listened) to engage and ask a more provoking question. Many times you answered and she just brushed aside (I think) your actual sentiment. Sigh. I think you deserve a much better look into your psyche and thought pattern than this!
This was great to listen to.
I feel like this topic needs to be out there!
The more platforms that this information spreads its wings to, the better!
I feel so extremely lucky to have found all the pieces to my own puzzle through the sharing of “correct” information and I feel worry about how many people are out there, right now, confused and worried, with no idea of what is happening to them.
Good on you for sharing the word and to say that it’s making a legacy, is just spot on!
I appreciate what you do! And thank the universe that someone is actually willing to put out genuine help and guidance that is actually relevant and that which makes clear sense!
I read and I read and I still couldn’t be quite sure of what I had been dealing with. Your articles and the books that you provide cut through all the confusion and the fog and hit home with absolute reality. Crystal clear, easy to relate to and with a writing style that burns pages.
I appreciated hearing the interview in the sense that your answers were not just delivered thoroughly, but with passion. You displayed a desire to not only answer, but to elaborate, which is the very thing that I appreciate. A stock standard reply with no drive behind it, lacks the intensity of really getting the point across. It’s clear that you enjoy what you do and it inspires confidence that we’ve found the right person, with the right information.
Learning about Narcissism not only paints old memories in an understandable light, but it also provides valuable references and knowledge for present and future hazards. That which I have identified now, that which had eluded me before! Many of my current friends presented red flags that are clear now. Not just hues of red, but neon and glowing! I can recognise it.
It’s strange to think of you as a seperate entity to HG. While the real you, might be the very same nightmare of my entire life, HG Tudor is certainly not and he is providing me with everything that I need to grow!
Thank you, just so very much, who ever you are, for making him! We need him. We seriously f*cking value him. So many of us were so lost and hanging on by a thread and your HG, our HG, is more important than I can ever say!
Thank you, endlessly!!!!!!!
Xoxoxoxoxoxo
Keep reading and listening. It will give you all that you need. We appreciate HG for everything he enlightens us to. Loves HG. 💕
Couldn’t agree more Tammy! 🤗
Dear Mr Tudor,
Cuedos to the good Dr for allowing you breathing space and with little interruption
If I were listening for the first time, my ears certainly pricked up, I was captivated and you definately received my undivided attention
A great deal was explored and giving examples helped immensely
Your background, your writing, your expertise, advice and interaction with your Tudorites is a testimony to your faultless creditation
Your description of the ” midranger during therapy ” was 💯 % consistent and accurate with that of the weasel
Being unfamiliar with podcasts, I wasn’t able to pause, press play or replay or know how long it’s duration and whether or not if I needed another 🍾🥂
🤣
You sir, a true professional
Thank you 😊
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you Bubbles.
Dear Mr Tudor,
You’re sincerely welcome
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
HG,
I enjoyed this interview. In particular, it was interesting to hear you clarify “the choice” that you made with regard to your narcissism – I don’t think I have heard that before.
Also, the specific examples that you provide regarding unaware narcissists who blame shift their behaviours to another condition, etc., was insightful.
I am pleased you enjoyed it and thank you for listening.
HG, great interview – as always.
I really enjoyed it. I could listen to you all day especially when you speak about your childhood and family, although I appreciate it’s probably not always the easiest of topics for you.
For the record, you have the second best voice I’ve ever heard.
x
Thank you A383, I am pleased you enjoyed it but wait, second best? What is this heresy!?
Sorry HG, but another of your kind beats you to the top spot, albeit your voice is posher but good posh, not Rees-Mogg posh. x
Outrageous!
HG and everyone, on a more serious note, if you get a chance I thoroughly recommend,
‘Tell me who I am’ on Netflix.
A very difficult watch. x
I’m definitely going to check it out.
A383, On your recommendation, I just finished Tell Me Who I Am on Netflix. Wow. It was difficult. I loved Marcus. What he tried to do for his brother was a beautiful thing. In a way, I wish he had been successful.
One doesn’t think of women pedophiles. I don’t anyway. There is something particularly heinous about a mother that doesn’t protect her own children. May she rot in hell. And may Matrinarc join her when her time comes. I don’t know HGs story, but the bits I’ve seen, I couldn’t help but think of him when I watched this.
Only the late Alan Rickman could even even present a challenge to HG vocally, and there is no one living who could do it.
He had a great voice, I agree.
Violetta, You are so right!! HG sounds just like Alan Rickman. I knew that voice was familiar. HG, did you train with the RSC? Do you have some sort of theatre background/voice training?
No, SMH, I am naturally stentorian but thank you.
That’s quite a gift, HG.
Thank you SMH.
You are welcome, HG. I like it when you answer right away – it feels like we are talking. Of course I also know that I could talk to you, but I prefer to hide behind a keyboard – MRN trained me well!
Ha ha.
OMG! The Rickman!
‘Christmas is Cancelled!’
Or ‘Itll hurt more!’
Or just a sinister
‘Cousin, cousin!’
I’m still listening to Richard Cheesman.
A383
You can fuck RIGHT off with that assertion. HGs voice is beyond rapproch. Even to us Saxons, its still pretty good.
Right. You’ve asked for it. And now you’re going to get it.
I give you Richard Cheese. You will thank me later,
But first. Apologise!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_uqiis-29ig
… and a very good morning to you Renarde.
To quote the English ‘comedian’ David Baddiel…. ‘it isn’t often that someone is able to manifest their total cuntiness is just a few short words’ but I think you’ve certainly managed to achieve that here today Renarde on KTN. You and Mr Cheese or is it Cheesman. Who knows.
FFS HG… I only ever comment on a Saturday and I still manage to get told to ‘fuck right off’ and ‘apologise.’ Go me!
You have a beautiful voice HG but my narcs is better. IMHO.
Anyway, I’d better fuck off now before Renarde catches me giving an opinion… especially on a Monday.
See you all next Saturday where I look forward to being told to, ‘piss off,’ and my personal favourite, ‘get yourself to fuck.’
x
I would rather you dropped in each day A383, not just on a Saturday!
A383
I’ve read your post several times and I cant quite work out if you are taking the piss.
Alas, I suspect not.
Therefore, I’m very sorry I offended you. Twas a joke, OK?
But if you are going to continue to liken HGs voice to the Member of Parliament for the 18th century, then feel free. I will simply respond in kind.
Reese-Mogg is a truly awful man. He really is.
My narc? Who? R-M?
On another note, it grinds my gears when Empaths say the possessive. It really does.
You want to stay with YOUR narc forever?
Head. Wobble.
And no. I’m not joking.
Renarde,
Maybe you should read it again.
I said HG’s voice was posh, as in he speak well and clear and NOT posh like Rees-Mogg, who, despite what you and I may think of him, also speak well and clear (due to his privileged upbringing) but as anyone who has ever listened to him would no doubt agree speaks, for want of a better term, almost aristocratic posh. There’s a difference.
Also, when I refer to ‘my narc’ – how else am I to identify the person I’m comparing HG to, seeing as you’ve never met him. I’m so very, very sorry if that ‘grinds your gears’ Renarde. You must have led a charmed life if that annoys you, that’s all I can say.
And finally, maybe next time you address a fellow commentator you should rein in the ‘fuck right off’ comments.
This blog is a place of safety where many traumatised people come to gain insight and advice following horrific abuse. The last thing they expect is to be told to ‘fuck right off’ by snowflakes like you who take offence on HG’s behalf, where he took none and none was intended.
x
“ And finally, maybe next time you address a fellow commentator you should rein in the ‘fuck right off’ comments.
This blog is a place of safety where many traumatised people come to gain insight and advice following horrific abuse. The last thing they expect is to be told to ‘fuck right off’ by snowflakes like you who take offence on HG’s behalf, where he took none and none was intended.”
Bravo!!
A383
I have apologised.
Now youre teasing out your secret girl crush on R-M. Pathetic.
Now my lovely, you are splitting hairs.
To a foreigner, HGs and RMs voices are absolutly on the same part of the continuum. RP. But RM sneers and patronises. HG does not.
You CLEARLY stated a preference. I jokingly pulled you up on it. I apologised and yet you are STILL going on.
And now you’re pissy about point 2. It us, extremely emotionally unhelpful for an Empath to use the possessive term over the narc.
No you don’t own them.
Yes they perceive they own you.
Why would you continue to buy into this narrative? One could say for example, ‘The narc I was married to or the narc I was with’.
Snowflakes like me? Bitch. Please.
The. THE. Not MY.
OMG…2 Live Crew as a lounge act.
Am snurking, Violetta!
I do love The Cheese though. His version of ‘Me so Horny’ is fricken’ outstanding!
Just revisited another HG interview on YouTube.
Mark Rosenfeld “mark asks ft. HG tudor” I listened to it about two months ago and really enjoyed it plus I could fully understand HG 100% – I wanted to check back because I felt like comparing the content a little bit.I don’t know when it was recorded but it’s a slower cadence. But the interview flows well.
the interviewer is a little bit annoying going “wowww” – but the content is highly recommended imho.
Cheers
Thank you Kathleen
Nice, HG. Very crisp! And a great summary of the narcissistic complex, from inception to deflection. I also liked that you mentioned us so much because we are special! 🙂
I wonder if any new readers resulted from that interview. Maybe they could out themselves if they are here.
Q for you: when you were discussing your work schedule you said that sometimes you spend hours on the blog/answering emails/catching up in the late afternoons and evenings. What do you tell SM you are doing during those times? Work work?
Thank you SMH. I don’t have to tell SM anything, sometimes she may be away herself or more usually she understands that I’m working. She’s not nosey, she’s plenty to keep her occupied.
Good to know, HG. My exHL would have fits if I had to work at night (which is often the case). Of course now I understand why. I am glad you and SM give each other space.
Hello HG another great interview. I found it very interesting and I learned some new things about you! Would you say most of the narc consultations end with the subject to be a narcissist? Or have you done some where they are not a narcissist?
Many do result in the outcome that the individual is a narcissist, which stands to reason, but only if the relevant criteria are reached. There have been outcomes where the individual is not a narcissist on numerous occasions.
I enjoyed all the good information in this interview. It made me wonder about you and anonymity. Have you come at all close to being discovered? It seems possible an ex could search for information and run across your work. Wouldn’t they recognize your voice? You obviously take great care in keeping different aspects of your life separate but just curious if anyone has become suspicious or if you have received messages of anyone calling you out? How would you handle that type of situation? Again, loved the interview and thank you HG.
Thank you for listening.
Nobody has identified who I am.
I’m saving this for when I’m upset because you soothe me HG. I can’t wait
Jolly good.
Ffs Tappi remember to select comment notification
Question: My midranger I believe during the initial split physically suffered. He also rejected counseling as he did not feel it would change him but felt his inner child needed healing. When presenting evidence of what manipulations his narc mother has over him ( a primary source at times), he called me “very persuasive due to my profession.” He is very protective of his mother and downplays the extreme abuse and manipulations she Plays and inflicts (i.e. she took a knife to her chest and arms 2 years ago and wrote my son hates me on the door in her blood because his visit ended and he was to see his wife. (Me) My midranger calls this “ unfortunate as his mother has a lot to offer”… she has not been outside the home in decades and has always been neglectful and abusive. No one comes in. I spent one night there ( chills, never again). His mother is always “ poor and ill.” He is often concerned. When she gave him the silent treatment for 14 months after the knife incident, he said “ some people are too sensitive to speak. “ He cried at times, says he feels guilt and pressure from her. But guess where he is? He disappears to her and blocks me. Twice this year. My question is … do you think he rejects her narcissistic behavior and downplays it as he is afraid it reveals his own actions? Why would a narc protect another narc? Btw I love him but at a distance. I have bloomed since the split 4 months ago. He was a lot of work.
He rejected her behaviour because he does not know what it is and responding to her behaviour as he does (assuming he is a narcissist, something I am not able to confirm without more information through a Narc Detector Consultation) is part of his facade management, control of her and control of you.
Thanks for posting the link to this great interview HG. Just listened to it.
I mentioned just this morning your voice’s great timbre on another thread and what do I find here in the comments!
I got the impression that Dr Jones was using restraint in the interview and allowing you to explain your work and message without going off on tangents.
Other interviews of yours I enjoy is the nothing off limits ones that Spotify flagged for me. As they’re from 2017, I hadn’t heard them before. I’ve shared those ones with interested parties.
Time for more sharing!
PS I might contact an Aussie psychologist who focuses on narcissists and empaths to see if he’d be interested in interviewing you.
Thank you TT and also for considering suggesting me to The Australian psychologist, just tell him Cleaver Greene has nothing on me.
Lol!! A great and entertaining series!
There’s some prudent social commentary in Rake as well as good acting!
It is excellent viewing. I am watching again for the third time.
I’m impressed. The political commentary is also spot on.
Give mindhunter a try. It’s also excellent. Directed by David Fincher (Fightclub). Not a black comedy of course but handles the subject of serial killers very astutely and places them into societal context. There’s regular of discussion of narcissism and the need for control. Displays the different types of narcissists within the social framework. Also great social commentary littered throughout. Anna Torv is a knockout. (I’m trying to entice you) The acting is top notch.
Thanks TT.
Season 2 of The Kominsky Method is coming next week HG. I always enjoy your recommendations. I’ve added Rake to my list on Netflix. And Mindhunter too TT 😊
Rake is exceptional, you will enjoy it and I am looking forward to season 2 of the Kominsky Method.
I haven’t heard of the Kominsky Method MB, I’ll give it a try though I dislike Mr Douglas (quick Google before my reply to you!).
If you care to, please share your thoughts on Mindhunter when you get a chance to watch it. Rake will keep you occupied for a bit! Enjoy!
Are there people who have seen Dirty John at Netflix
Yes, many people have referenced that Bravo miniseries.
Well done HG. I think the interview brought new “ solutions” and understandings. It is a good forum for you. I would love to see visuals of your wee narc fables too.
Thank you KW.
HG another intriguing interview leaving me both satisfied and curious.
I enjoyed the focus here on your personal perspectives and experiences. This differentiates the interview from others where you speak about your kind in general terms, due to the line of questioning. When you speak of yourself and your experiences on a personal level, it very quickly demonstrates how despite knowing you are a narcissistic psychopath listeners are compelled by your narrative and disposition.
You talked about your preference not to engage in conversations with psychologists with regard to your childhood. I wonder….
1) Is this in some part because of your school being a Greater narcissist or do you think it is mostly personal preference? I ask because I imagine engaging around the content of childhood abuse in therapy would subconsciously provide opportunities for blame-shifting and pity plays for the MR and maybe ever L schools.
Many thanks for your insights should time permit.
Sarah
Thank you Sarah.
You are in part correct. I need neither pity nor sympathy for my childhood, although I understand why empaths freely offer it. I prefer not to talk about it because it is in the past and nothing can be done about it. One of the greatest weaknesses of human beings is their preoccupation with dwelling on the past. It is the past. It cannot be changed. I recognise that, hence my choice.
Thank you HG.
In leaving your past behind so easily you surpass many who are stuck there and paralysed by their lack of control. You on the other hand take control and surge forward. Mastering self control I see as one of the keys to achievement. If one is capable of doing this it makes no sense to revisit the past. I respect your position whole-heartedly – why squander the now on the basis of way back when?!
Thank you.
And sometimes it needs to be acknowledged, HG.
What you experienced was beyond awful. Your MN may be powerful but does she hold true wisdom, I ask myself?
This sounds just like my ex narc whenever I would question him about his past. Some things he would claim he didn’t remember. I found this odd because none of my ex boyfriend’s had problems talking about the past. I let it go convincing myself that he would eventually open up to me, never happened. This was one of the first red flags I ignored.
Dear Mr. HG Tudor,
Excellent interview. I enjoyed listening. I always enjoy listening to you.
I have two questions;
1) The interviewer referred to you as a self proclaimed Narcissistic Psychopath. Are you self proclaimed, or have you been professionally diagnosed?
2) When discussing the various environments the lead to narcissism; abuse, neglect, etc. you mentioned something called a ‘grade B’ situation. I don’t recall ever having heard that before. Can you tell me what that is?
It is amazing that you manage the HG Tudor empire on your own.
Thank you for your response.
1. No, I am professionally diagnosed, but interviewers often miss this because they have not read all of my books. They are lead by the fact that I explain what I am.
2. Please see the article To Cope Is To Control.
Thank you for listening.
beside all the interesting answers you provided Mr.HG, i really admire how you organise your thoughts, i imagine your brain as a verry well folded dressing, i strive to become like.
Thank you Liza. It is a place of dark organisation.
It was heartbreaking to discover that your kind doesn’t sit in the dark, scheming machiavelic plans , while rubing your hands and laughing like a vilain.
Awesome interview HG! Wish you could speak a bit slower though 🙂 I am used to American accent and British accent is a bit challenging for me personally. Had to listen over a few times to be able to understand what you were saying 🙂
Try listening faster.
Great suggestion. I will certainly do that as soon as you diction is improved 😁
There’s nothing wrong with my diction.
Then there is nothing wrong with my listening speed 🙂 🙌🏽
Of course there is.
Esther, I think the quality of the recording was subpar, I don’t think it has to do with HG’s diction -or with your hearing, for that matter-. I can understand him but I could hardly hear most times.
HG, As professional speaking goes, there’s nothing wrong with your speed, diction, inflection, volume, cadence, etc. All spot on. I would say otherwise if not so. No disrespect to those that feel otherwise due to personal preference.
Thank you FYC, given your expertise in such matters, your input is appreciated.
Dearest HG: My take: Please do not speak slower on these interviews. You pack a lot of priceless information into these interviews, and so much that even if all the other mental workers were accurate (they are not), it would take me at least a year to learn what you cover in an hour. No exageration. I’ll gladly listen, and I do listen, to your interviews more than once, and over and over, to obtain all the info. that you lay out in a single session. I would ask someone, would they prefer an inch of a loosely piled stack of $100 dollar bills, or an inch of a tightly stacked pile of $100 dollar bills? hmmm…. Which would have more intrinsic value? You pack a good punch during these interviews, HG. That is why even the interviewers love having you on. Even they enjoy themselves on their own shows. I first heard about you from other mental practitioners and how they said they also learned a lot from you, HG, including the info. on the various schools and cadres and your technical terms, etc., that opened up the field tremendously. I became curious about you. I wondered, who is this HG Tudor person. I remember the first time I heard you on an interview, about a year ago. I was just flabbergasted. I marveled. I cheered up! I thought, I think I can overcome the situation that I have unfortunately entangled myself for over 3 years. I wondered about you, and I said to myself, I have to find this man and listen to him more and more, to get this knowledge under my belt. And I found you, and I have done so. I went from your interviews to your youtube channel to over here on Narcsite. I also said to myself, this HG Tudor knows the real deal. Uncut and Unflinching. I thought you were very brave and a great communicator and a genius during that interview, when I first heard you. I still think so about you even more so now. And so do many other of your readers. I like listening to you. Secondly, I like learning, and thirdly, I like learning excellent information and successful strategies. And you truly have one of the absolute best diction/accents in the entire world to me. My take–do not change your protocol on these interviews at all: Bravo.
Thank you PSE, I appreciate your observations and input.
Esther, I do think where we come from plays a role in how we intake other’s speech patterns. I am an American as well. When I speak with individuals, I have heard comments that I speak too fast and others have no issue. I have come to realize it depends on where in the country they are from. I have experienced that when traveling in other countries or when speaking to individuals from other countries. Some have the same speed of speech while others prefer for me to slow down.
I actually had to stop listening to this interview yesterday as I felt that the Dr interviewing actually spoke too slow for my mood yesterday. I would find myself distracting myself when she spoke and then miss parts of HG speaking. I will try to listen again when I am in a better mode.
HG
Have you just been flirted with? I think you may have!
TBH, I’m not ranking it as one of the best LB’s I’ve seen. But, it’s there. For us all to appreciate.
Getting There
Ironically I GET you. You may not get this as I cannot reply to the comment in train.
There was something quite strange about the interviewer. I struggled to believe that this woman has the equivalent of a PhD TBH. Her questions to HG were bland. Repatative at times (at one point she asks the same question twice) and on more than one occasion, I struggled to comprehend what question she was asking HG.
HG gets it and off he goes. But I didn’t. Not at first.
I find that interesting.
I found her manner quite sleazy. How she drawled her words out. But then never said anything insightful? Or provoking?
Of course HG comes across well. How could he not? But yes. Interesting interview.
Thank you, Renarde.
I will definitely go back and listen to it at some point and listen closely to both.
I have moods where what I hear needs to match that mood. Yesterday, I was in the mood of feeling hurried and needing things to get done as quickly as possible. While I appreciate that speaking in the manner I heard from the Dr is calming for many, my mood could not handle it and I would concentrate on another task. This is why I can’t do mindfulness either. It isn’t a negative on the Dr that I am moody. I was sharing my thoughts due to Esther thinking HG was slow but I found what I heard from him good and took the same interview in a different way.
I do enjoy observing how much who we are, our experiences, what mood we are in, etc. influences what we perceive from others.
I am curious to go back and hear based on what you heard. I will give myself time, though, to make sure I pay attention.
I know that youtube has a setting feature that allows one to slow down or speed up a production. Perhaps one can find a listening application, etc. that will allow one to speed up or slow down a production, that is not on youtube. I, at times, have sped up some productions on youtube, and I have rarely slowed them down. Although, I can understand that there may be a time when I would want to slow down a particular production, so it is good that the capability is there. So, maybe, someone that knows about computer tech can come up with a solution for this speed concern. However, I just do NOT want to chop down a beautiful tree, just because it is too tall for me to climb at the moment, so to speak, but, rather, I would look for a suitable ladder.
You are a fucking genius HG. I’ve just scraped myself off the floor.
A damp puddle remains.
Thank you.
That was great! I thought she asked some pretty good questions. Huge takeaway for me is the concept of control over the “here and now” being the only thing that matters to the narc. This isn’t new to me at this point but the clarity with which you spoke of it will surely hit home to most.
I don’t know if your delivery is getting crisper and more concise over time — or if it’s my own fog being lifted — but everything you say now is so crystal clear.
My delivery has always been the same, it is testament to your use of logic that the message and understanding is now being applied. I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Yes, I think you are right 🙂
Excellent interview responses, HG. I enjoy your natural conversational style and cadence.
Just a thought for future consideration: When speaking about consultations, you may wish to mention you established an Angel Assistance Fund for those in need who cannot afford a private consultation and listeners can to donate to help others free themselves from narcissistic abuse by visiting narcsite.com. Also, have you considered a crowdfunding campaign on GoFundMe for Angel Assistance? There are fees involved but they are minor and it is a well-known channel that can be linked to your FB. Just a thought.
Thank you for the suggestions FYC. The interview was recorded prior to the AAF being set up, hence it was not mentioned.
Ah, I should have guessed it predated AAF; you remember everything.
Amazing interview, as they all are. Always impressed with your ability to answer any questions with ease and professionalism.
Thank you GH.
In response to the cadence of your voice. I am thankful it wasn’t delivered in slow monotone. If that were the case I believe I would actually miss more information. I would find myself yawning, mind wandering, nodding off. During the crescendos, I would actually find myself leaning in caught up in what was said. Speech should be like music with the ebb and flow and peak. The crescendos also portrays that the speaker is excited about and believes in what they are saying. This is instilled in the listener. Bravo! Brilliant delivery in content and cadence!
Thank you GH.
Gypsy Heart. Yes! I too do get caught up in HG`s enthusiasm during the interviews. I think that some are a bit harsh towards the interviewers for also getting caught up with his very engaging personality. I am happy to see the Interviewers both learning and enjoying themselves. They are glad that they went to work that day, for sure, even if it is their own business. And he never allows the interviewer to ruin the interview! A wonderful specialty that he has. I know not how he maintains such control, every time, so that the listeners can receive all that vital info. I have seen some strong and intelligent and worldly and amazing people lose complete control of the topic and the momentum during an interview. Ran over. Wrapped up. Left for dead. So sad. How does that happen with such, otherwise, sophisticated people? These interviews are also an instance where I truly see HG the ULTRA in action. So fun and so good. I wish we could all take him out to lunch or out to dinner after one of his interviews. Salute!
Thank you PSE.
GH, the banging on the desk or table gives an added dose of passion to the crescendo, wouldn’t you agree?
They were banging on the desk and table? Well that explains her voice!
NA, I’m so innocently talking about banging on the desk, crescendos and HGs passion. Leave it to you to read the innuendo. That’s hilarious reading it back! Her voice was way too calm for that though.
It is a pleasure to listen to your interviews HG, as they are very informative. Also i like your voice. I especially liked the part where you mentioned mid-range narcs. It reminded my cocky ex.
You’re welcome. Thank you for listening
Just listened to the interview and took notes, as always. I really liked the points HG made about the research conducted on narcissists and the ‘capacity for empathy’. Excellent response.
On a partially related note, I wonder if Dr Jones is an empath or not? She sounded quite ‘detached’. I remember when I spoke to HG I was a nervous wreck – but I’m a Geyser so what do you expect..
EmP, who ISN’T a nervous wreck when they talk to HG, right?
MB, he told me it happens to many people to be fair. I KNEW I was going to be really nervous so I thought: “OK, I’ll have a drink right before the consultation to relax a bit”. No, nothing. That didn’t help either.
Next time I’ll try with a Xanax haha.
EmP, you will notice the nervousness beforehand and at the beginning of the call, but if you’re like me, he has a calming effect. HG is better than Xanax.
Don’t know about that MB! I remember the dry mouth, the head spinning, trying to take as many notes as possible and, to top it up, telling him: “Have a good day” at the end of the call. It was 8pm.
EmP, no worries! I’m sure he feels powerful having such an effect on his readers.
MB, yes, we are ALL BUT INDIFFERENT to him…not sure how anyone could be indifferent to HG anyway. That just doesn’t sound possible.
EmP, I always have the impression I’m doing a job interview before the consultation so I get as nervous as I can get prior to that. I also get super anxious that the Skype call may drop, which happens often. As an Empath I feel guilty if it doesn’t work, as if I could control that! And my stomach goes bananas.
SP, yes! I worried about Skype not working, but that didn’t happen luckily. I remember checking the router before the call..then thinking: “Oh, OK. All good. And he sent an actual phone number. I can use that if I have issues with Skype. But I didn’t tell him beforehand. I told him I wanted to be called on Skype. I probably should have chosen the phone option. Or should I?”. OMG!!
I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t like talking, period. I prefer to listen. And to write.
What? 🥰
It’s true, FM1T. I never call friends, I prefer texting. Ironically, I enjoy public speaking but that’s like performing to me. I hate talking on the phone. When I do consultations with HG, I set Skype on my iPad and speak to the screensaver!
I’m just teasing you sweetie!! 😘💞
EmP, you have HGs phone number?!? I’ve joked about having him on speed dial 😂
MB, when you book an audio consultation HG gives you the option to call a +44 number – which might be a Skype number, I don’t know. HG once said he has four phones: personal, work, blog and malign hoovers. So I guess it’s either the blog-phone number or a Skype number.
I have five telephones now.
Being surprised about four was a joke! What’s the fifth for? Curious minds want to know. 🤓
Telephone calls.
Thank you HG. You’ve curbed my curiosity!
Jolly good.
HG
So…..you’re not really happy to see me? That’s just 3 of your phones?
Ha ha
EmP, only 4 phones?!? I’m surprised ha ha. Quick HG…it’s the blog-phone!
HG
That may be my favourite interview to date in terms of content. She asked the questions and then stood back while you brilliantly explained the defence mechanism and the need for control in the moment as opposed to plotting and scheming (which took me quite some time to come to terms with). Also helpful was describing your interaction and the differing responses what one would find once they arrive here on the blog. I remember when I arrived, being surprised at the different responses to you but then quickly learned they were generally in relation to the stage the commenter was in. I always enjoy your voice, but nothing compares to hearing it provide the information that allows people understanding and therefore choice. Music. Well done HG.
Thank you for the observations NA, I am pleased you found it of interest.
Is this on YouTube HG ?
No,Lisa, it’s not.
Hi Lisa,
It seems that this interview appears on libsyn only.
In case you are interested in previous ones, I created a playlist on YouTube including all HG’s interviews that I could find.
You can type “HG Tudor – The Interviews” in the YouTube search bar to find them.
HG approves.
This is a very illustrative example of a so-called professional who is absolutely clueless versus a well-spoken, informed, and engaging true expert in the field. I must admit I experienced the biggest relief when I finally heard your voice (dark as it os to me) after that tedious, soporific introduction. She didn’t engage at all in the discussions and simply hummed back at you after your eloquent explanations, making it clear she was not very versed in the topic or didn’t really know how to interact or add constructively to your answer. Having said that, I am grateful that she has the awareness and the humbleness to recognize your work and she even mentioned explicitly having read some of your books and recommending them to everyone who wants to learn more about narcissistic abuse. That is an important step, and I hope more doctors get informed about your work so that they take the interest in finally learning about narcissism, instead of confusing the victims more than we already are after abuse. Good job as always, HG!
Thank you SP, your interest and feedback is appreciated.
I found her manner (voice) a little odd in a podcast format also, and wondered if it had been cultivated more to calm her clients? (where I’m sure it would have great effect). Having said that, she recognizes narcissism as a problem and HG is THE authority on it, so I really appreciate her great initiative and flexibility in spreading awareness by having HG as her guest. I also prefer when the interviewer asks a few questions and then stands back to allow the guest the floor. There is always much to convey and little time, so I appreciate when the interviewer doesn’t eat into that by endlessly offering their experiences or practically flirting with HG as some have.
If Dr. Jones is reading to gauge response (I know I would be) I’d like her to know I enjoyed it and appreciate her.
NA, you made a great point about not flirting with HG, I have also noticed when that happens and it’s a little bit embarrassing but I understand and don’t judge, how can they resist?
I missed focusing more on current matters and not so much on HG’s childhood. I think that’s a psychoanalytical tendency most psychologists tend to go for, but there are things that are much more important because, as he said, the past is already gone. It sounded a little like she was making questions to a patient and taking notes. Yes, it was important to mention HG’s past and family structure briefly to clarify the component of genetic predisposition versus external influence and lack of control, but I missed the real gist: what makes HG’s work so much more helpful and why does the medical community fail to help victims? And I’m not just talking about the fact he’s an ultra; I’m talking about his work’s methodology, how he decided to create such a wide infrastructure of different venues to connect with the victims, I would have been more inquisitive about the interactions in the blog, given that he provided a few juicy examples there (they made me giggle as we all know what particular cases he’s talking about). When he mentioned the responses were overwhelmingly positive I would maybe have done some self-reflection and asked what he thought was the main error of most doctors -because she’s one herself-. Having admitted to having read some of his books, I would have given some titles and explained briefly what I got from each, as a medical professional, and yes, why not, made a case to publicize them and say they are easy to download on Amazon. She let him mention one of his own books, Exorcism, without any feedback and I thought that was poor manners for a podcast host. Of course I’m saying this because I see it from the inside and I am more engaged. She could have done a little bit more field investigation though. BUT, it’s true everyone sees things in a different manner. Kudos to Dr. Jones for the initiative and for her part in helping victims of narcissism, that’s for sure. And instead of being such a bitch, I may need to interview HG myself so that you guys can criticize me too!. Just kidding, I realize I may seem too critical but I was trying to explain my case. I get very emotional every time anyone interviews HG, not because of him -in the end I don’t even know him- but because of what he has done and is doing for all of us.
Thank you SP.
I found the interview interesting because numerous questions actually asked about me, as opposed to narcissism as a whole. I appreciate that many interviewers are wanting to obtain information to help people understand narcissism and that is important, but it was also refreshing to be asked more about me and of course, many listeners want to hear more about that. I found reading your observations instructive.
HG, do you require questions to be submitted to you ahead of the interview? When she was getting into the more personal questions, I was worried she might go somewhere she ought not.
I ask what the interviewer would like me to speak about. Some give a broad outline, some provide me with a list of questions. I am perfectly able to answer without any prior notification as I know my subject so extensively.
Gifted!!!
I’m glad you did. It was just a different angle, that’s all.
I want to read more about you. I patiently await the reading material that will define HG #3 you mentioned. Although I am also interested in nos. 1 & 2.
Thank you.
“Why does the medical community fail to help?” It’s incredible to me that I imagine many of my practitioner friends/acquaintances/physicians/social workers—genuinely think they have the patent of understanding on this Sweetest. They really think they know what they are doing. I went to a therapist once many months ago who pulled out Biderman’s Chart if Coercion and it was as if she pulled a magic trick out of her sleeve. Please tell me how that will help anyone? Please tell me what makes a therapists field of study a venue of enlightenment? Do you know how we are sometimes polite when someone is just really dull but can’t wait to get away? That is what being with the therapist was like. I was later cornered by a physician who inquired if I learned why I keep having such issues. He was an acquaintance of my first ex-husband. He must of forgotten being abandoned by his wife. Maybe he didn’t learn? People have really just crawled under my skin throughout this entire process. A co-worker said, “She’d never put up with..” (in regard to some bullying at work directed to another) Funny how I recall her first husband having been a total ass—yet she “never puts up with..” I would love to hear an interviewer ask HG this question about the medical community failing to effectively recognize and address this.
I have never noticed flirting in the interviews. This has occurred? It seems a bit silly. I think we have banter here due to familiarity that could be construed as flirting but is not the intent—an interview should always be focused and on point.
Very well stated.
Why don’t you do a prolonged interview series with a collection of providers? Psychology, psychiatry etc?
What do you mean by a collection of providers?
Providers is a term maybe more geographic here—it refers to a panel of licensed individuals who practice within their realm of experience/expertise. (As you know—but that is what I meant)
For instance, my baby is frontline emergency psychiatric care—I have an intriguing project underway—it will change delivery of care in my department. I am positive of this. So, a panel of providers with different interests and how they can and maybe do weave your concepts and mainstream concepts into care delivery. Where the punches are pulled. How to improve delivery of care based on several of your concepts. My big interest is the instinct based component and it is in part related to how staff view and internalize interactions and how it impacts their own responses and burnout effect/s. I’m on my way to work now! Have a great night HG.
Thank you for clarifying, Lorelei.
Oops a quick addendum—I’m not sure if you or others realize how much (overall) the vast majority of clinical staff dislike psychiatric emergencies verse “medical.” Behavior is tough—an arterial bleed is easier to manage. Makes sense.
Yes and further clarification is specific to a panel discussion with psychiatrists/psychologists or the like.. I just rambled because “care delivery” as a model for improvement exists in all sectors of healthcare. I’m in a more mutt variety environment.
Noted, thank you.
Exactly, Lorelei. Just being a doctor and having facts in front of me that prove that people prefer to run to HG’s work for help would make me reconsider many things. I’m not gonna tell very personal details here but I didn’t have a good experience with psychologists.
Agree and I have a social worker friend who scoffs at his work despite knowing I’m happier. She sucks clinically anyway. Truly. She used to be a direct report to me in two different jobs. She is not a narcissist of course but her documentation has required basic corrections and she’s not warm to clients. Stale bread.
Oops, before I get scolded: kudos to Dr. Jones, but Chapeau! to HG.
I also enjoyed the way she conducted the interview, NA. In the circumstances I feel it was it was most appropriate. The intro was a bit long but the rest made up for it.
NA, her voice did not calm me. I found it to be patronizing. I’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard. HGs voice…superb as ever. I’d listen again, but if I hear “fair enough” one more time, I’ll scream. Not very empathic of me. Now I feel bad 😞
I get it, but here’s the thing for me:
I want the message out there. Period. There will be all manner of format and conversational styles, but unless it reflects negatively on the message being delivered about narcissism or the guest, I stick with the positive in that the information is being delivered. If I want the information to become mainstream it has to start somewhere, and I give credit to those who have engaged with HG for that purpose. It may be that they are not as polished as we think they should be or ask the questions that we would have liked, but they are offering HG a platform and he knows how to get around to delivering the message once engaged. If I had a platform and read where there was criticism that I felt less than constructive or personal on other platforms, how eager might I be to put myself out there initially (or for those who have already – to do it again)? I do understand offering suggestion and opinion – we all do, and sometimes that is helpful. My feeling is just that if we expect to much of, or focus more on the interviewer, that we may hamper the effect that we desire – which is to get it to the next level formats and mainstream.
In short – if we put ourselves in the shoes of Dr. Jones and visited here to see the effect of the interview and the comments about it, how would we feel about what is written after having extended the opportunity?
Well stated.
This is, in part, why I agree to many interviews, even when I am asked the same questions because
1. That does show that it is these questions which matter and with each interview new people will be reached. Of course it is more interesting for my existing readers and listeners to receive something new and therefore one seeks to strike a balance between the established message (allowing accessibility) and providing new and extra information for the seasoned reader or listener.
2. It is imperative to get onto as many platforms as possible and to this end my readers are of considerable assistance in this regard by writing to, badgering, cajoling and persuading other broadcasters, especially in more mainstream areas to utilise the opportunity to interact with the best source of information for this important matter.
I agree NA. Whole heartedly. I was unkind and I apologize. I have no right to get up on my high horse and judge. She probably did better than I would. I’ve never interviewed anybody on the radio and I have a mortal fear of public speaking. It was an opinion and certainly didn’t add any value to what we are trying to do here. The main thing is for the information to get out there by any means available.
If Dr. Jones is reading this, thank you for allowing your podcast as a platform for HGs work and I hope you will consider a follow up interview. There is so much more to share. HG is passionate about this subject and has probably left your listeners wanting more.
MB
Our listening bar is HG and that would be hard for anyone to reach. We be spoiled audio snobs lol.
Hell yeah!
NA, I am absolutely spoiled! Nobody’s voice compares to HGs in my book.
NA, if I were Dr. Jones (I can’t stop thinking of the song Mr. Jones) and read the comments, which have been objective in their majority, I would simply take the critique and try to step up my game for the next interview since she has a podcast series. The sound can be improved and maybe her interaction could be more dynamic, that’s it. I commented because we have listened to a few so it’s interesting to see the differences. But I’ve repeated many times I value her initiative in interviewing HG and her awareness of his expertise. I agree with you wholeheartedly, whatever helps spread the information is celebrated.
I commend you and MB for appreciating Dr. Jones for the platform. The challenge with speaking performance is it has many influencing factors: genetics, culture, cognitive interpretation, self-monitoring, psychological, neurological and cellular influences, etc. These combined with the fact that we do not hear ourselves as others hear us makes change challenging. Further, what one person likes another does not. This is why there are literally thousands of people world over that do voiceover work to match various purposes and tastes. No one voice suits all. The human attention span is 7 seconds before something competes with our attention, so the questions are not as important as the answers, they are more a launching point to either answer the question or pivot to your own point. Lastly, I am sure Dr. Jones’ followers follow her because they like her style or find her information useful and interesting. I am glad they were exposed to HG.
SweetP
I know you are appreciative and were offering observation for improvement. DR. Jones (and others) being professional will hopefully receive it in that spirit.
An excellent point of view, NA, and I really appreciated your original comment regarding the same. No point in criticizing the host who kindly offers the platform. Better to congratulate their good judgment in selecting the best source possible to cover this poorly understood topic. More hosts and journalists would do well to make such a wise choice. Such insight (and more available on the broader HG platform) is very much needed at this time in history and opportunities abound to spread the wisdom, so let’s support those who do.
Hi HG,
I just finished listening, amazingly you do it all by yourself, Alone, because of you can not risk your identity. That is sooo MUCH work! Also the filtering, everything!
Yes I share with you, you are no nonsense.
Because of your lack of emotional empathy.
You tell us straight and give solutions.
You tell it the way it is! No bullshiting! I like that and it works for me.
And that is so usefull and clear indeed.
No need to be your friend or like you, just use your work!!!
LEARN, GAIN AND UNDERSTANDING!, yes sir!
And for that I feel gratitud! ✨🙏… 😉
It s a library, it s information
USE IT! 😃
Yes it is a constructiva place, how strange that it sounds after the experiences we have had and still have with a narsistic psicópath.
Is it not funny in a way. One violated my soul and another is helping me saying on my feet. Lol….
Yes, it s a place where we survivers and víctims feel heard and have a voice, because you HG understand so well where we come from.
And most of the persons who read your work now also know so well how NP works and how there perspective is…
……. LEARN, GAIN AND UNDERSTANDING …….
You are welcome.
HG, I appreciate greaters are a rare breed, but, greaters are more likely to come across other greaters on a day to day basis (I suspect), the boardroom being one of those places. That said there do seem to be a fair representation of UMR who sit on the board with some non Ns there to represent us. .
What goes through the mind of the greater when they are in a room full or half-full of other greaters? Do they consider these to be the ‘real’ competition? because they recognise on some level there is a degree of challenge in continuing to assert superiority?
Fantastic interview. Very engaging and informative and at the end I wanted to hear more. Especially loved the question about whether this work is keeping you out of trouble, loll!
Thank you J and L.
Congrats HG. Nice interview.
One thing I feel is that perhaps at times during interview you could slow your speech down a bit
– For us Americans- British terms and sayings take more time for processing – also the accent takes a bit more processing – and when it is a complex topic I have some difficulty following along and comprehending at times even tho I am very familiar with your terms like midrange etc and the concepts around them. Sometimes I’m like “ oh he said x “ and I’m a person who’s listened to you before and Met with you on skype and followed the blog for 2 years.
I think it’s also more effective when you’re speaking slowly in that you’re not blowing past stuff- but slower More methodical speaking to me feels like giving it the respect it deserves. Giving yourself time due as well.
Just my observation. I hope you aren’t irritated by this comment-
Thank you for the observation. I try to pack as much information in to the allotted time, perhaps you can play me back slightly slower so I sound like Barry White?!!
Barry White 😂 That amused me!
Talk any way you like.
I’m Never Never Gonna Give Ya Up.
Rick Astley says he agrees!
Funny! At first I thought of Rick Ashley but he has a certain green element to his voice HG doesn’t have, or at least while singing. Don’t mind me, I see voices, I’m a little crazy.
Haha. I forgot about RA’s earworm. I meant Barry White’s song.
Sweetest—your summary of the intro was spot on. I only got to a little way through before sleeping today—I’ll re-visit. It’s the open mindedness she has I appreciate. Bottom line—I would still be drinking if she were my therapist though. No disrespect to her, I respect her—but at times these people are killing people inadvertently. It’s a very intuitive science and it’s quite under-developed. It’s mind boggling.
Not that slow!😂 it’s really more the ordering of words or the British terminology/slang that throws me off here and there. I’m thinking worldwide listeners-and want your message to be heard clearly-
I know I’m not the only American that watches some BBC shows with closed captioning on. 😊
Slang is fair enough, not that I use much of it, with regard to understanding.
Thank you for sharing the link, HG. I always enjoy hearing you speak off the cuff. I’m amazed at your polished responses under what would be pressure to me. I almost felt the interviewer wondering if she’d ever been duped in therapy sessions by a narcissist. She gained as much valuable information as the listeners did.
Thank you MB, I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Thanks for this …I always like to hear or read the interviews or talks that you have with other people. Thanks for sharing as always.
Thank you for listening CJ, I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Hi HG,
This was one of you most revelatory and informative interviews. Dr. Jones went there, and as always, you delivered. Your work just keeps evolving and improving. Your Greatness and contribution is limitless. I am forever grateful to you. I hope your life rewards your generous contribution to humanity. You deserve the best!
Many thanks E&L, I am pleased you found it interesting. A Nobel Prize surely beckons!
HG,
You could be like Bob Dillon and not show up to receive the award at the ceremony, thus compromising your anonymity! You”d still be a winner!
HG approves.
Llol, HG your responses are sidesplitting sometimes. Honestly I sometimes read for that only.
Humour is a very useful tool of mine.
So if humor is useful are you ever actually amused by others? Or is it a muted form of amusement?
See the Narcissist and Humour.
The answer is yes, at times you are genuinely amused.
Thank you, Sir! It was such a pleasure to listen it.I am really fascinated and applaud your dedication to this fabulous blog, to help people through individual consultations, to respond to all questions here on the blog, to encourage and support the readers. Did I mention before ( no, I am guilty, I admit it) that you become one of my favourite writers and your books have a special place in my library.
Herewith HG , I also want to let you know that all the knowledge I have gained here helped a lot in my professional life . Last week I won a battle with a Narc manager that I work close with. The beneficiary was an employee that she wanted to rip off his entitlements upon resignation. I hidden my emotions ( mainly disbelief and anger ) and kept the communication with her merely based on facts ( legislative ones) and the inevitable legal consequences of her intentions. Of course my stance was backed up in writing with the stance of the professional body that I am member of . I won the battle because I was implementing your rules how to deal with a Narc when No Contact is not an option , like at the workplace .
Thank you for listening and well done with the application of your knowledge in the professional setting.
Yay! Saving for my bubble bath tonight!!!
Have you asked Bubbles about that PSE?
I’m join you and bring my rellies 🍾🥂
Dearest HG: I am quite sure that Madam Bubbles will approve: As long as no one drowns/is electrocuted.
Dearest Princess.
Madam Bubbles absolutely approves …I’ll also bring the bubble wrap for safety, I just realised, everything about me goes pop 🤣
🍾🥂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
PSE, I love bubble baths too! They’re the best after a long day. Enjoy
Intersting on how you defined the instinctive behaviors, makes sense on how you described it
Agreed! The description cleared some stuff up for me. Thanks HG.
You are welcome.
By the way—do you bite off a cats head at the end to horrify?
No.
I’m glad for this! I’ll listen once I’m at work! It’s the only place I get stuff done.
And that’s not ironic at all… lol
It’s generally a fact that I’m not as busy typically at work. Some days I don’t have anything for long periods of time but some days it’s impossible to step away for five minutes. At home I can’t sit still. I’m like a Jack Russell Terrier that bounces around all crazy.
Lorelei = Jack Russell Terrier Perfect!
I like your Halloween gravatar
MB
What will you be for Halloween? I’m guessing there will be glitter?
Just as long as it is not Gary.
HG
Yes, not an advisable costume.
Gary G is back in the news over controversy of his song used in Joker. There are reports that he will not receive royalties if it stays in.
Question: Will he feel more powerful because he is in the spotlight again and they are using his music, or wounded that he is not receiving royalties and being taken advantage of (in his eyes). Positive or negative fuel?
Second thought: Either way – it’s FUEL.
Criticism in the spotlight = Challenge Fuel.
Failure to pay royalties = wounding
NA, I haven’t made any plans yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar there WILL be glitter and most likely sequins too!
My unicorn tail met it’s demise in the toilet last year as you may recall 😐
I do still have that most awesome feather cape/wing thing though. Maybe I’ll be an angel 😇 Ha ha
You already are an angel, MB!
SP, you’re too kind. Maybe I should go as a Dirty Empath “angel”. Not pure white, a little off white!
Nothing wrong with that, join my club!
Time for some St Etienne.
Hahaha Nothing Can Stop Us!
MB
My husband suggested one year that one of us smear crunchy peanut butter around our mouth (with the addition of one single kernel of corn) while the other swaddled themselves completely in white , and go as shit and toilet paper. It didn’t happen because a debate broke out over which one was the more offensive to be.
Hahahaha!!! I would rather be the toilet paper, more “hygienic”.
NA, what a creative idea. I think one could make a case for either one to be the most offensive. I was trying to decide. The things we think about on narcsite…I think I choose the paper 🧻 as the least offensive.
MB,
Your unicorn tail story stays with me 🙂
Have fun with the glitter an sequins!
Thank you WC! That was a good laugh. Hopefully I’ll have more shenanigans to report this year!
Ok I’ve listened entirely—very nice. You did a fabulous job. You actually gave an example that gave me an idea of providing an example of sorts for a class I’ll be doing down the road related to a project.. That was a wordy sentence! I’m amazed you just know all of this stuff—for awhile I waited to see it “not fit” but it always does. Perfectly so.
Thank you Lorelei.
Thanks!