HG Tudor – Interview

HG TUDOR INTERVIEW

I was recently interview by Dr Natalie Jones and as always, hearing what I have to say is both informative and entertaining so pop those headphones on, have your favoured drink to hand and listen here

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235 Comments

  1. Hi HG, I have yet to read the oh so many comments. I am a bit perplexed by this interview. You did well… given the interviewer. Yet, I feel she was scripted. Her questions were weak and she did not feed well with your answers. It was such a rudimentary interview. There were so many instances (had she listened) to engage and ask a more provoking question. Many times you answered and she just brushed aside (I think) your actual sentiment. Sigh. I think you deserve a much better look into your psyche and thought pattern than this!

  2. This was great to listen to.

    I feel like this topic needs to be out there!

    The more platforms that this information spreads its wings to, the better!

    I feel so extremely lucky to have found all the pieces to my own puzzle through the sharing of “correct” information and I feel worry about how many people are out there, right now, confused and worried, with no idea of what is happening to them.

    Good on you for sharing the word and to say that it’s making a legacy, is just spot on!

    I appreciate what you do! And thank the universe that someone is actually willing to put out genuine help and guidance that is actually relevant and that which makes clear sense!

    I read and I read and I still couldn’t be quite sure of what I had been dealing with. Your articles and the books that you provide cut through all the confusion and the fog and hit home with absolute reality. Crystal clear, easy to relate to and with a writing style that burns pages.

    I appreciated hearing the interview in the sense that your answers were not just delivered thoroughly, but with passion. You displayed a desire to not only answer, but to elaborate, which is the very thing that I appreciate. A stock standard reply with no drive behind it, lacks the intensity of really getting the point across. It’s clear that you enjoy what you do and it inspires confidence that we’ve found the right person, with the right information.

    Learning about Narcissism not only paints old memories in an understandable light, but it also provides valuable references and knowledge for present and future hazards. That which I have identified now, that which had eluded me before! Many of my current friends presented red flags that are clear now. Not just hues of red, but neon and glowing! I can recognise it.

    It’s strange to think of you as a seperate entity to HG. While the real you, might be the very same nightmare of my entire life, HG Tudor is certainly not and he is providing me with everything that I need to grow!

    Thank you, just so very much, who ever you are, for making him! We need him. We seriously f*cking value him. So many of us were so lost and hanging on by a thread and your HG, our HG, is more important than I can ever say!

    Thank you, endlessly!!!!!!!
    Xoxoxoxoxoxo

    1. Keep reading and listening. It will give you all that you need. We appreciate HG for everything he enlightens us to. Loves HG. 💕

  3. Dear Mr Tudor,
    Cuedos to the good Dr for allowing you breathing space and with little interruption
    If I were listening for the first time, my ears certainly pricked up, I was captivated and you definately received my undivided attention
    A great deal was explored and giving examples helped immensely
    Your background, your writing, your expertise, advice and interaction with your Tudorites is a testimony to your faultless creditation
    Your description of the ” midranger during therapy ” was 💯 % consistent and accurate with that of the weasel
    Being unfamiliar with podcasts, I wasn’t able to pause, press play or replay or know how long it’s duration and whether or not if I needed another 🍾🥂
    🤣
    You sir, a true professional
    Thank you 😊
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  4. HG,

    I enjoyed this interview. In particular, it was interesting to hear you clarify “the choice” that you made with regard to your narcissism – I don’t think I have heard that before.
    Also, the specific examples that you provide regarding unaware narcissists who blame shift their behaviours to another condition, etc., was insightful.

  5. HG, great interview – as always.
    I really enjoyed it. I could listen to you all day especially when you speak about your childhood and family, although I appreciate it’s probably not always the easiest of topics for you.
    For the record, you have the second best voice I’ve ever heard.
    x

      1. Sorry HG, but another of your kind beats you to the top spot, albeit your voice is posher but good posh, not Rees-Mogg posh. x

          1. HG and everyone, on a more serious note, if you get a chance I thoroughly recommend,
            ‘Tell me who I am’ on Netflix.
            A very difficult watch. x

          2. A383, On your recommendation, I just finished Tell Me Who I Am on Netflix. Wow. It was difficult. I loved Marcus. What he tried to do for his brother was a beautiful thing. In a way, I wish he had been successful.

            One doesn’t think of women pedophiles. I don’t anyway. There is something particularly heinous about a mother that doesn’t protect her own children. May she rot in hell. And may Matrinarc join her when her time comes. I don’t know HGs story, but the bits I’ve seen, I couldn’t help but think of him when I watched this.

          3. Only the late Alan Rickman could even even present a challenge to HG vocally, and there is no one living who could do it.

          4. Violetta, You are so right!! HG sounds just like Alan Rickman. I knew that voice was familiar. HG, did you train with the RSC? Do you have some sort of theatre background/voice training?

          5. You are welcome, HG. I like it when you answer right away – it feels like we are talking. Of course I also know that I could talk to you, but I prefer to hide behind a keyboard – MRN trained me well!

          6. OMG! The Rickman!

            ‘Christmas is Cancelled!’

            Or ‘Itll hurt more!’

            Or just a sinister

            ‘Cousin, cousin!’

            I’m still listening to Richard Cheesman.

          1. … and a very good morning to you Renarde.

            To quote the English ‘comedian’ David Baddiel…. ‘it isn’t often that someone is able to manifest their total cuntiness is just a few short words’ but I think you’ve certainly managed to achieve that here today Renarde on KTN. You and Mr Cheese or is it Cheesman. Who knows.

            FFS HG… I only ever comment on a Saturday and I still manage to get told to ‘fuck right off’ and ‘apologise.’ Go me!

            You have a beautiful voice HG but my narcs is better. IMHO.

            Anyway, I’d better fuck off now before Renarde catches me giving an opinion… especially on a Monday.

            See you all next Saturday where I look forward to being told to, ‘piss off,’ and my personal favourite, ‘get yourself to fuck.’

            x

          2. A383

            I’ve read your post several times and I cant quite work out if you are taking the piss.

            Alas, I suspect not.

            Therefore, I’m very sorry I offended you. Twas a joke, OK?

            But if you are going to continue to liken HGs voice to the Member of Parliament for the 18th century, then feel free. I will simply respond in kind.

            Reese-Mogg is a truly awful man. He really is.

            My narc? Who? R-M?

            On another note, it grinds my gears when Empaths say the possessive. It really does.

            You want to stay with YOUR narc forever?

            Head. Wobble.

            And no. I’m not joking.

          3. Renarde,

            Maybe you should read it again.

            I said HG’s voice was posh, as in he speak well and clear and NOT posh like Rees-Mogg, who, despite what you and I may think of him, also speak well and clear (due to his privileged upbringing) but as anyone who has ever listened to him would no doubt agree speaks, for want of a better term, almost aristocratic posh. There’s a difference.

            Also, when I refer to ‘my narc’ – how else am I to identify the person I’m comparing HG to, seeing as you’ve never met him. I’m so very, very sorry if that ‘grinds your gears’ Renarde. You must have led a charmed life if that annoys you, that’s all I can say.

            And finally, maybe next time you address a fellow commentator you should rein in the ‘fuck right off’ comments.
            This blog is a place of safety where many traumatised people come to gain insight and advice following horrific abuse. The last thing they expect is to be told to ‘fuck right off’ by snowflakes like you who take offence on HG’s behalf, where he took none and none was intended.

            x

          4. “ And finally, maybe next time you address a fellow commentator you should rein in the ‘fuck right off’ comments.
            This blog is a place of safety where many traumatised people come to gain insight and advice following horrific abuse. The last thing they expect is to be told to ‘fuck right off’ by snowflakes like you who take offence on HG’s behalf, where he took none and none was intended.”

            Bravo!!

          5. A383

            I have apologised.

            Now youre teasing out your secret girl crush on R-M. Pathetic.

            Now my lovely, you are splitting hairs.

            To a foreigner, HGs and RMs voices are absolutly on the same part of the continuum. RP. But RM sneers and patronises. HG does not.

            You CLEARLY stated a preference. I jokingly pulled you up on it. I apologised and yet you are STILL going on.

            And now you’re pissy about point 2. It us, extremely emotionally unhelpful for an Empath to use the possessive term over the narc.

            No you don’t own them.

            Yes they perceive they own you.

            Why would you continue to buy into this narrative? One could say for example, ‘The narc I was married to or the narc I was with’.

            Snowflakes like me? Bitch. Please.

            The. THE. Not MY.

          6. Am snurking, Violetta!

            I do love The Cheese though. His version of ‘Me so Horny’ is fricken’ outstanding!

  6. Just revisited another HG interview on YouTube.

    Mark Rosenfeld “mark asks ft. HG tudor” I listened to it about two months ago and really enjoyed it plus I could fully understand HG 100% – I wanted to check back because I felt like comparing the content a little bit.I don’t know when it was recorded but it’s a slower cadence. But the interview flows well.
    the interviewer is a little bit annoying going “wowww” – but the content is highly recommended imho.
    Cheers

  7. Nice, HG. Very crisp! And a great summary of the narcissistic complex, from inception to deflection. I also liked that you mentioned us so much because we are special! :)

    I wonder if any new readers resulted from that interview. Maybe they could out themselves if they are here.

    Q for you: when you were discussing your work schedule you said that sometimes you spend hours on the blog/answering emails/catching up in the late afternoons and evenings. What do you tell SM you are doing during those times? Work work?

    1. Thank you SMH. I don’t have to tell SM anything, sometimes she may be away herself or more usually she understands that I’m working. She’s not nosey, she’s plenty to keep her occupied.

      1. Good to know, HG. My exHL would have fits if I had to work at night (which is often the case). Of course now I understand why. I am glad you and SM give each other space.

  8. Hello HG another great interview. I found it very interesting and I learned some new things about you! Would you say most of the narc consultations end with the subject to be a narcissist? Or have you done some where they are not a narcissist?

    1. Many do result in the outcome that the individual is a narcissist, which stands to reason, but only if the relevant criteria are reached. There have been outcomes where the individual is not a narcissist on numerous occasions.

  9. I enjoyed all the good information in this interview. It made me wonder about you and anonymity. Have you come at all close to being discovered? It seems possible an ex could search for information and run across your work. Wouldn’t they recognize your voice? You obviously take great care in keeping different aspects of your life separate but just curious if anyone has become suspicious or if you have received messages of anyone calling you out? How would you handle that type of situation? Again, loved the interview and thank you HG.

  10. Question: My midranger I believe during the initial split physically suffered. He also rejected counseling as he did not feel it would change him but felt his inner child needed healing. When presenting evidence of what manipulations his narc mother has over him ( a primary source at times), he called me “very persuasive due to my profession.” He is very protective of his mother and downplays the extreme abuse and manipulations she Plays and inflicts (i.e. she took a knife to her chest and arms 2 years ago and wrote my son hates me on the door in her blood because his visit ended and he was to see his wife. (Me) My midranger calls this “ unfortunate as his mother has a lot to offer”… she has not been outside the home in decades and has always been neglectful and abusive. No one comes in. I spent one night there ( chills, never again). His mother is always “ poor and ill.” He is often concerned. When she gave him the silent treatment for 14 months after the knife incident, he said “ some people are too sensitive to speak. “ He cried at times, says he feels guilt and pressure from her. But guess where he is? He disappears to her and blocks me. Twice this year. My question is … do you think he rejects her narcissistic behavior and downplays it as he is afraid it reveals his own actions? Why would a narc protect another narc? Btw I love him but at a distance. I have bloomed since the split 4 months ago. He was a lot of work.

    1. He rejected her behaviour because he does not know what it is and responding to her behaviour as he does (assuming he is a narcissist, something I am not able to confirm without more information through a Narc Detector Consultation) is part of his facade management, control of her and control of you.

  11. Thanks for posting the link to this great interview HG. Just listened to it.

    I mentioned just this morning your voice’s great timbre on another thread and what do I find here in the comments!

    I got the impression that Dr Jones was using restraint in the interview and allowing you to explain your work and message without going off on tangents.

    Other interviews of yours I enjoy is the nothing off limits ones that Spotify flagged for me. As they’re from 2017, I hadn’t heard them before. I’ve shared those ones with interested parties.

    Time for more sharing!

    PS I might contact an Aussie psychologist who focuses on narcissists and empaths to see if he’d be interested in interviewing you.

    1. Thank you TT and also for considering suggesting me to The Australian psychologist, just tell him Cleaver Greene has nothing on me.

      1. Lol!! A great and entertaining series!
        There’s some prudent social commentary in Rake as well as good acting!

          1. I’m impressed. The political commentary is also spot on.

            Give mindhunter a try. It’s also excellent. Directed by David Fincher (Fightclub). Not a black comedy of course but handles the subject of serial killers very astutely and places them into societal context. There’s regular of discussion of narcissism and the need for control. Displays the different types of narcissists within the social framework. Also great social commentary littered throughout. Anna Torv is a knockout. (I’m trying to entice you) The acting is top notch.

          2. Season 2 of The Kominsky Method is coming next week HG. I always enjoy your recommendations. I’ve added Rake to my list on Netflix. And Mindhunter too TT 😊

          3. Rake is exceptional, you will enjoy it and I am looking forward to season 2 of the Kominsky Method.

          4. I haven’t heard of the Kominsky Method MB, I’ll give it a try though I dislike Mr Douglas (quick Google before my reply to you!).
            If you care to, please share your thoughts on Mindhunter when you get a chance to watch it. Rake will keep you occupied for a bit! Enjoy!

  12. Well done HG. I think the interview brought new “ solutions” and understandings. It is a good forum for you. I would love to see visuals of your wee narc fables too.

  13. HG another intriguing interview leaving me both satisfied and curious.

    I enjoyed the focus here on your personal perspectives and experiences. This differentiates the interview from others where you speak about your kind in general terms, due to the line of questioning. When you speak of yourself and your experiences on a personal level, it very quickly demonstrates how despite knowing you are a narcissistic psychopath listeners are compelled by your narrative and disposition.

    You talked about your preference not to engage in conversations with psychologists with regard to your childhood. I wonder….
    1) Is this in some part because of your school being a Greater narcissist or do you think it is mostly personal preference? I ask because I imagine engaging around the content of childhood abuse in therapy would subconsciously provide opportunities for blame-shifting and pity plays for the MR and maybe ever L schools.

    Many thanks for your insights should time permit.

    Sarah

    1. Thank you Sarah.

      You are in part correct. I need neither pity nor sympathy for my childhood, although I understand why empaths freely offer it. I prefer not to talk about it because it is in the past and nothing can be done about it. One of the greatest weaknesses of human beings is their preoccupation with dwelling on the past. It is the past. It cannot be changed. I recognise that, hence my choice.

      1. Thank you HG.

        In leaving your past behind so easily you surpass many who are stuck there and paralysed by their lack of control. You on the other hand take control and surge forward. Mastering self control I see as one of the keys to achievement. If one is capable of doing this it makes no sense to revisit the past. I respect your position whole-heartedly – why squander the now on the basis of way back when?!

      2. And sometimes it needs to be acknowledged, HG.

        What you experienced was beyond awful. Your MN may be powerful but does she hold true wisdom, I ask myself?

      3. This sounds just like my ex narc whenever I would question him about his past. Some things he would claim he didn’t remember. I found this odd because none of my ex boyfriend’s had problems talking about the past. I let it go convincing myself that he would eventually open up to me, never happened. This was one of the first red flags I ignored.

  14. Dear Mr. HG Tudor,

    Excellent interview. I enjoyed listening. I always enjoy listening to you.

    I have two questions;

    1) The interviewer referred to you as a self proclaimed Narcissistic Psychopath. Are you self proclaimed, or have you been professionally diagnosed?

    2) When discussing the various environments the lead to narcissism; abuse, neglect, etc. you mentioned something called a ‘grade B’ situation. I don’t recall ever having heard that before. Can you tell me what that is?

    It is amazing that you manage the HG Tudor empire on your own.

    Thank you for your response.

    1. 1. No, I am professionally diagnosed, but interviewers often miss this because they have not read all of my books. They are lead by the fact that I explain what I am.

      2. Please see the article To Cope Is To Control.

      Thank you for listening.

  15. beside all the interesting answers you provided Mr.HG, i really admire how you organise your thoughts, i imagine your brain as a verry well folded dressing, i strive to become like.

      1. It was heartbreaking to discover that your kind doesn’t sit in the dark, scheming machiavelic plans , while rubing your hands and laughing like a vilain.

  16. Awesome interview HG! Wish you could speak a bit slower though :) I am used to American accent and British accent is a bit challenging for me personally. Had to listen over a few times to be able to understand what you were saying :)

          1. Esther, I think the quality of the recording was subpar, I don’t think it has to do with HG’s diction -or with your hearing, for that matter-. I can understand him but I could hardly hear most times.

          2. HG, As professional speaking goes, there’s nothing wrong with your speed, diction, inflection, volume, cadence, etc. All spot on. I would say otherwise if not so. No disrespect to those that feel otherwise due to personal preference.

          3. Dearest HG: My take: Please do not speak slower on these interviews. You pack a lot of priceless information into these interviews, and so much that even if all the other mental workers were accurate (they are not), it would take me at least a year to learn what you cover in an hour. No exageration. I’ll gladly listen, and I do listen, to your interviews more than once, and over and over, to obtain all the info. that you lay out in a single session. I would ask someone, would they prefer an inch of a loosely piled stack of $100 dollar bills, or an inch of a tightly stacked pile of $100 dollar bills? hmmm…. Which would have more intrinsic value? You pack a good punch during these interviews, HG. That is why even the interviewers love having you on. Even they enjoy themselves on their own shows. I first heard about you from other mental practitioners and how they said they also learned a lot from you, HG, including the info. on the various schools and cadres and your technical terms, etc., that opened up the field tremendously. I became curious about you. I wondered, who is this HG Tudor person. I remember the first time I heard you on an interview, about a year ago. I was just flabbergasted. I marveled. I cheered up! I thought, I think I can overcome the situation that I have unfortunately entangled myself for over 3 years. I wondered about you, and I said to myself, I have to find this man and listen to him more and more, to get this knowledge under my belt. And I found you, and I have done so. I went from your interviews to your youtube channel to over here on Narcsite. I also said to myself, this HG Tudor knows the real deal. Uncut and Unflinching. I thought you were very brave and a great communicator and a genius during that interview, when I first heard you. I still think so about you even more so now. And so do many other of your readers. I like listening to you. Secondly, I like learning, and thirdly, I like learning excellent information and successful strategies. And you truly have one of the absolute best diction/accents in the entire world to me. My take–do not change your protocol on these interviews at all: Bravo.

          4. Esther, I do think where we come from plays a role in how we intake other’s speech patterns. I am an American as well. When I speak with individuals, I have heard comments that I speak too fast and others have no issue. I have come to realize it depends on where in the country they are from. I have experienced that when traveling in other countries or when speaking to individuals from other countries. Some have the same speed of speech while others prefer for me to slow down.
            I actually had to stop listening to this interview yesterday as I felt that the Dr interviewing actually spoke too slow for my mood yesterday. I would find myself distracting myself when she spoke and then miss parts of HG speaking. I will try to listen again when I am in a better mode.

          5. HG

            Have you just been flirted with? I think you may have!

            TBH, I’m not ranking it as one of the best LB’s I’ve seen. But, it’s there. For us all to appreciate.

          6. Getting There

            Ironically I GET you. You may not get this as I cannot reply to the comment in train.

            There was something quite strange about the interviewer. I struggled to believe that this woman has the equivalent of a PhD TBH. Her questions to HG were bland. Repatative at times (at one point she asks the same question twice) and on more than one occasion, I struggled to comprehend what question she was asking HG.

            HG gets it and off he goes. But I didn’t. Not at first.

            I find that interesting.

            I found her manner quite sleazy. How she drawled her words out. But then never said anything insightful? Or provoking?

            Of course HG comes across well. How could he not? But yes. Interesting interview.

          7. Thank you, Renarde.
            I will definitely go back and listen to it at some point and listen closely to both.
            I have moods where what I hear needs to match that mood. Yesterday, I was in the mood of feeling hurried and needing things to get done as quickly as possible. While I appreciate that speaking in the manner I heard from the Dr is calming for many, my mood could not handle it and I would concentrate on another task. This is why I can’t do mindfulness either. It isn’t a negative on the Dr that I am moody. I was sharing my thoughts due to Esther thinking HG was slow but I found what I heard from him good and took the same interview in a different way.
            I do enjoy observing how much who we are, our experiences, what mood we are in, etc. influences what we perceive from others.
            I am curious to go back and hear based on what you heard. I will give myself time, though, to make sure I pay attention.

        1. I know that youtube has a setting feature that allows one to slow down or speed up a production. Perhaps one can find a listening application, etc. that will allow one to speed up or slow down a production, that is not on youtube. I, at times, have sped up some productions on youtube, and I have rarely slowed them down. Although, I can understand that there may be a time when I would want to slow down a particular production, so it is good that the capability is there. So, maybe, someone that knows about computer tech can come up with a solution for this speed concern. However, I just do NOT want to chop down a beautiful tree, just because it is too tall for me to climb at the moment, so to speak, but, rather, I would look for a suitable ladder.

  17. That was great! I thought she asked some pretty good questions. Huge takeaway for me is the concept of control over the “here and now” being the only thing that matters to the narc. This isn’t new to me at this point but the clarity with which you spoke of it will surely hit home to most.

    I don’t know if your delivery is getting crisper and more concise over time — or if it’s my own fog being lifted — but everything you say now is so crystal clear.

    1. My delivery has always been the same, it is testament to your use of logic that the message and understanding is now being applied. I am pleased you enjoyed it.

  18. Excellent interview responses, HG. I enjoy your natural conversational style and cadence.

    Just a thought for future consideration: When speaking about consultations, you may wish to mention you established an Angel Assistance Fund for those in need who cannot afford a private consultation and listeners can to donate to help others free themselves from narcissistic abuse by visiting narcsite.com. Also, have you considered a crowdfunding campaign on GoFundMe for Angel Assistance? There are fees involved but they are minor and it is a well-known channel that can be linked to your FB. Just a thought.