The Duchess of Sussex has spoken of the unbearable pressure of life in the spotlight as a member of the Royal Family, saying it is no longer enough for her to “just survive” it. Naturally, being a new member to the Royal Family necessitates scrutiny and being thrust into the spotlight. Furthermore, as an actress who appeared on a popular television show “Suits” and also someone who knew she was marrying into the Royal Family was fully aware of the level of the limelight she was becoming exposed to. She did so knowingly and more importantly willingly, she did so willingly because her narcissism embraced this as a method of asserting control of a huge scale and drawing fuel from an extensive and varied fuel matrix. Of course, Meghan Markle is not aware that this is the case, her narcissism operates in an unconscious fashion, but it is the driving force behind her behaviour and her actions and words as previously analysed demonstrate her narcissism and also how she is unaware of the various manipulative behaviours she engages in, because in order for her narcissism to function, it must blind her to what she is actually doing.
A classic example of that related to the banana incident as highlighted in the article A Very Royal Narcissist 2 . Briefly, Meghan Markle signed bananas for sex workers with supposedly empowering and supportive messages. She consciously believed this was a kind and thoughtful gesture. She was unaware that it was grandiose, lacking emotional empathy, transgressing boundaries and was done to garner control of the situation by ensuring all eyes were on her and that she would manage her facade to look kind and considerate. All of those things were being done by her narcissism in an unconscious way, but she cannot see how her behaviour appears, because her narcissism blinds her to it.
The Duchess´comment about the unbearable pressure of her life in the spotlight (ironically enough being conveyed ahem through the spotlight – but of course such irony is lost on her) is actually a Pity Play designed to elicit sympathy for her predicament. This sympathy is fuel and signals to her that she has control. It is also being used to blame shift by stating that anything she does is not because she is to blame (the narcissist must always reject accountability) but is the fault of someone or something else. In this instance it is the pressure that is the problem and those generating the problem, namely the media (more on that in due course). The Duchess is triangulating between herself, viewers and the media pressure in order to assert control.
The Duchess, said it is essential for her to “thrive” and “feel happy”, warning that simply enduring with unwanted scrutiny is “not the point of life”. This is another Pity Play.
The Duchess’s words, in which she insists she has “really tried” to adopt the British stiff upper lip before concluding it is “internally really damaging”, will lend weight to fears that the Sussexes are seeking a path away from traditional royal family life. (Pity Play. Threatened Loss. This is foreshadowing the threat of not following a traditional family life, which is again being done to assert control. Threatened Loss similar to the use of Future Faking is using a future event to assert control in the here and now. By suggesting that there may be a change in the future by seeking a path away from traditional royal family life, this asserts control by garnering a reaction through fuel (an emotional response from the interviewer, the listener, viewers and readers) , it is also foreshadowing potential isolation by removing Prince Harry (who is the Duchess´Intimate Partner Primary Source (the most important provider of fuel, character traits and residual benefits which are the Prime Aims of the narcissist) from control from other people who would interfere with the Duchess´control of him) and also Blame Shifting. The Blame Shifting is occasioned by rejecting accountability for the withdrawal (which is all about isolating Prince Harry from perceived threats to her control) by pinning the blame on the media. This of course has some plausibility (hence why the narcissism does this – it would be pointless saying “We are going to seek a period of isolation because the moon of made is cheese” as that would not make any sense.) owing to the fact that the media are seen as intrusive. However, if a normal person was taking this step, it WOULD be for reasons of avoiding media intrusion. However, where this action is taken by a narcissist, one looks at it through the prism of narcissism and this is why there is actually a different set of reasons governing this behaviour.
Thank you for your reply.
You are welcome.
HG–Thank you for these articles. It is very helpful to see your comments attached to well-publicized figures, as almost real-time illustrations. In regard to the future health of Prince Harry, and ESPECIALLY Archie, is there an avenue for you to convey your insights and expertise to the Royal Family with the goal of some type of rescue from RMM? I recognize there would be some substantial risk in crossing the streams between your “Tudor” life and your real life. Would this be something you would consider?
If they seek my help, it will be given. It is not prudent of me to offer it.
Well, not sure about Elizabeth the II, but Diana was Jewish as is Rachel Markle – so, Harry is Jewish as is his son.
White people are in power in their own f****ing countries. It isn’t difficult to understand. Why wouldn’t Estonians be the rulers of their people in Estonia? Or Britains be the rulers of Native Brits as well as those who are not Native Brits in their own countries?
If women need help to achieve, how are they as capable as men? Retarded statement. Sounds like something you’d get in, “Intersectionalism in White-Dominated Russian Ballet 101”
Incoming….
Missed this exchange. Diana was Jewish? Who knew…
Having lived with and been abused in every way possible by an alcoholic narcissist, for years….I think you are so over-reaching with the assessment of a woman you do not know. Do I think Meghan may be on the narc spectrum, sure. But anyone who enters the entertainment industry has a degree of narcissism about them. Was Diana, her sainted self possibly one too, to a degree, absolutely! But you speak with to much authority about a woman, a couple and a life you truly know nothing about.
You make a massive assumption in your observation and an erroneous one. You also fail to have regard to the detailed and sustained evidence. Yes, many individuals in the entertainment industry have narcissistic traits and there are far more narcissists in that industry than you may realise.
‘ was Diana one too, to a degree, absolutely’ does not make sense. You cannot be a narcissist to a degree, it’s like being pregnant, you are either are or you are not.
Mel
It’s interesting that you know nothing really about the couple or life either, but have decided that the analysis is “over-reaching”, and has been done with “too much authority” by someone who has studied them specifically and has experience with the disorder. Isn’t that just you going in the other direction based on less evidence?
Hi HG!
You ARE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! I had no interest in this story, but since you wrote about it, I read it and am able to see very clearly where the manipulations are taking place. You had predicted the future HG! Are you a political advisor or commenter? I do have a few questions though. Why does MM want strangers as her extension? (Regarding calling them “her sisters”). I read the article again about narcs making the IPPS the extension, but these are tertiary sources. So why would she see them as extensions of herself? Also, how is Harry being devalued? How do we know he is in the devaluation stage? What a learning experience this is! Thanks HG!
Hello Jenna, thank you.
1. I have some involvement in the political sphere.
2. They are tertiary sources which are used for fuel and facade management.
3. All appliances are extensions of the narcissist.
4. He is being devalued as described in the articles which also demonstrates that he is in the devaluation stage. You only have to look at him as well to know that he is.
Thank you HG!
I thought the manipulations, salami slicing, isolation, etc. can occur in any stage, but does it only occur in devaluation? (I thought I understood this by now, always more to learn, hence these real life examples are great!). I did notice that Prince Harry looks very sad and worried these days. It makes me sad to see him like that. I think what I wanted to ask was: has Harry seen the mask slip (that’s what I always associate with devaluation- silent treatments, withholding affection, not responding to text messages etc.)?
I’m so happy to be part of this community. You always have the most precise analyis. If any good has come out of ensnarement, it’s being connected with you here on your blog. Thanks for this wonderful place HG!
You are welcome.
Well given the events of the past couple of days I think we can safely say you have hit the nail on the head!!! And all done on the eve of Kate’s birthday to completely over shadow that – which should have been big news here in the UK.
I have found this a really interesting read as a survivor of narcissistic abuse – I refuse to call myself a victim anymore because I won, he didn’t – and one who was isolated hundreds of miles away from close friends and family. I, and friends who understand narcissism, called this a long time ago. Isolation makes everything so hard because you are so encapsulated in a small world with no support system except the narcissist who makes you feel like they are all you need. Add a child into the mix and then fireworks will ensue. Without children it took me over 5 years to secure a divorce and financial settlement. She is now with flying monkey friends who just cause even more problems like the “a strong woman faces a challenge and winks at it” post from Jessica Mulroney. Retreated to Canada to leave the husband she “loves” so much to face the fallout alone, not bringing the child to spend time with his family instead choosing to leave him with a friend and nanny??? True love and support right there… I think not.
Sadly I think Prince Harry is now drawn into a spiders web and it could take a long time to for him to see what is going on. I hope he finds the strength to re assert himself and find the support that his family and friends can give.
I have seen so many posts saying how wonderful and strong Meghan is – “naive” posts from people who don’t understand true narcissism and it’s incredibly damaging effects on the victim.
I would just like to add that I’ve had two children I raised on my own. Born in South Africa , I made a plane trip every year to the US to see my family and never once complained about traveling 17 hours, sometimes longer, with my infant daughter, then I was 7mths. Pregnant with my son , and also traveled alone, my daughter being almost 2 by then. Then I traveled with them both. It would not even enter my mind to anticipate the trip as a hard time because of my children! I managed just fine.
I eventually left my ex-husband, on my own with two children to come back to the US to live permanently. I never ever put myself first and never complained how difficult it was going to be, without any help or child support from my ex. I would never express anger or frustration to anyone that was geared in any way towards my children. I gladly took refuge in my difficult situation as I knew it was best for my children…,.and mm has only one child , we hardly ever see her with, and she has a nanny for goodness sake! And money! And she leaves him for weeks at a time….inconceivable to me. I also noticed she looked very uncomfortable holding her own son. At the polo match, as if she didn’t know how to.
I knew that interview she did in Cape Town caught her off balance, as she did not know how to say, what she wanted to say civilly. All that nonsense that being a newlywed and having a baby was , she hesitated, all to much for her and no one even asked if she was okay? Also, the fact that she thought her lifestyle might be difficult, but maybe more fair….my goodness, she knew what she was getting into, which I find a fairytale, in its own right, Yet, she spent all that money, went through all the motions, only to act it all out with no respect to her new family….That interview was the first I really noticed, something was off. The Queen was and deservingly so, going to be very aghast at her for how she handled herself, and the interview, in front of the whole world! My goodness she let her class act slip for sure…I think she might have set this all up very nicely to suit (no pun intended) herself. Shame on her.
She also ruined, or thought she would take the limelight away from, was it Eugene’s wedding? By letting the cat out of the bag that day, by telling people she was pregnant…..really? She couldn’t wait a few days to reveal the news of her pregnancy…that speaks volumes about a persons character. In my book, anyway.
I see all this. Plus, she is giving the Royal Family a visual of non-compliance. The child between them is in another country; he was not brought back ‘home’ to Britain. I see this as a silent statement of separation threat, in another country no less, to come if he/ they do not do as she dictates. The baby is now a major pawn in her play.
Hg, is Meghan Markle a midranger or a greater?
What do you think Delilah?
HG, please check out what I just read in the DM, “Uncle’s shocking attack on ‘underclass’ Meghan”:
‘It could be that she’s bossy towards staff because she’s been spoilt by my brother,’ Mike says.
‘He doted on her a lot — more than he did his other children.
‘Tom spent more time with her and helped her in school and stuff like that.
‘Tom has more of a rapport with her than with the rest of the kids. That’s a problem.
‘She’s a prima donna because he treated her really well.’
The Golden Child.
Or worse.
Am I the only one who thinks that Prince Harry looked to be trying to swallow a laugh at that WellChild event and smothered it with what everyone assumed was tears? Harry may have started out as the victim (and will probably end up as the victim) but now he is definitely the flying monkey. Poor Archie is doomed!. A controlling narcissistic mother and an emotional immature permissive father – what a mess.
Sounds like Archie could be the next HG!
Must be a living #ell having no flying monkeys inside the family 😁👍
Excellent HG
Everything you say about your kind is sooo true
It must be very amusing for you when another lesser narc attempts to manipulate you before they spot what you are ???
Kiki❤️
Idk the more i keep seeing headlines i cant help but see harry as a partial victim. He may be enjoying the spotlight a smidge. Im really on the fence with it. Meghan is definitely the narcissist but i do think harry wanted to climb out of his brothers shadow. He will never be king but he can gain popularity and attention.
I hate sounding judgemental but i also dont just assume hes innocent in all of it. I guess time will reveal.
Chihuahuamum: See Blind Gossip, “Wounded Little Boy.” He THINKS they’re on the same side….
HG Tudor,
you said Harry is in the ‘devaluation’ stage.
What is the next stage ?
Thank you.
Most likely a respite period.
Respite period will be next and another baby!!!!!!!!!!! God forbid.
I think he’s already getting one – today (Friday) MM seemed all chipper and well put together (unlike that horrendous purple muumuu she was wearing right after she returned). Today she brought Harry with her to some gender thing and made an idiotic comment about women’s empowerment not being possible without men.
How is women’s empowerment not being possible without men idiotic? The current power structure is male-dominated. Women can’t establish equality on our own. That’s like saying civil rights weren’t possible without white people support is idiotic. It’s true, because white people are in power. That’s like saying gay rights aren’t possible without hetero support is idiotic. That’s also true because heteros are in power and the majority. What makes you think true female empowerment is possible without male support? She is a narcissist, she’s not stupid.
Hope, Context. Follow the thread.
I read the whole thing.
HG,
What would you identify as Harry’s mental health issues? The trauma of having lost his mother publicly and violently at a young, formative age? His parents tenuous marriage and subsequent divorce? Possessing a large empathic reservoir, therefore subjected to sustained bouts of detrimental, emotional thinking? Having a narcissistic father?
And/or does he have a diagnosed condition such as dysthymia, depression, anxiety? I was not aware that it was public knowledge he had mental health issues. Thanks in advance if you are willing to respond!
These “True Tudorscope Stories” are great!
His empathic emotional thinking allied with the emotional responses it generates, such as anxiety, risk-taking and of course, susceptibility to the ensnarement of a narcissist with all that follows.
HG, why does emotional thinking promote risk taking?
Because it contravenes logic.
Blood hell! Thanks! So Ns are more susceptible to risk taking to pass the boredom and they need fuel. Es are more likely to partake in risk taking to destroy the anxiety they experience (often brought on by an N) and because normals don’t suffer the extremities they sit comfortably in the middle not needing to risk take and wondering why the fuxk others do. are you sure you’re not God? I mean if all Ns were like you I could understand how they feel omnipotent but they’re not. They just feel it.
Violetta. Even more change other than from Battenburg to Mountbatten: Battenburg changed to Mountbatten was Philip`s maternal family surname, anyway, that he had changed to, smothering his own German lineage surname of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. When he married Elizabeth, he was not allowed to give his children, Charles, etc., his German surname, decreed by his cousin Elizabeth (3rd cousin, I think?), once again because of Philip`s German heritage and how his real name sounded to British ears, and so Charles, etc. are known as Windsor as Queen Elizabeth says she styles her offspring as Windsor, rather than her husbands Philip`s German last name of: Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, and years later Elizabeth allowed Charles, etc. to at least be called Mountbatten-Windsor. So Princes Charles and Andrew and Prince William and Prince Harry are in actuality Princes William and Harry Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg. As well as their children. And now including little Archie Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg. But now Mountbattens and Windsors for more `palatable` consumption, of course. Any Brits or historians on here, please help out. This is your area of history, not mine. lol. I`m tired. I just don’t like fairy tales, such as a man giving up a kingdom for one woman, and that dislike has dragged all of this up. Oh well. Hahaha.
Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg. If it were a cheese, it would be delicious.
Phil’s mum was nuts but kind of cool. Stood up to the Nazis when a lot of people wouldn’t.
True dat.
Violetta, I also read about Philip`s odd life, for these posts about the German angle of that family, and this is all of your fault, for saying a man refused a throne for a woman, and I had to kill that fairy tale immediately. And after a bit of digging around after overpowering Google`s search engine diversions, I discovered the lineage names, even Philip`s name of Schleswig-Holstein–Glücksburg, while drinking my Pure Rooibos Red Herbal Tea. I am adamantly against fairy tales these days. But, so much history came out of looking into the German lineage, all because of your comment to HG regarding David and Wallis, that he abdicated just for her. So funny. Anyway, I wrote a Poem for you, Violetta. Here goes: Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, Married a Queen and He Did Obey Her, Smothering The Names of Their Actual Lineage, They `Style` Themselves, Now, as the House of Windsor. ~~The End. Hahahaha. It’s all Violetta`s fault, I will say to them, when they come to take me away to the dank dark dungeon,
PSE: Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea minima culpa.
Violetta: Can you imagine me in University? I was constantly stumbling into facts that were sort of beyond the scope of what was intended for me to know, in one way or the other. I have no idea why! And, early on, I would ask: but what about this? And I would ask, but what about that? Yeah, right. I learned to keep quiet very early on, the hard way. Finally, my warning bells developed and I would hear them ring when I would stumble onto something that caught my fascination and I would say to myself, hmmmmm, I better not bring this up, or hmmmm, I better not bring that up. etc. I wisened up. Hahaha. I learned to practice the desired mantra in every subject. I learned to be very careful, if I wanted a good grade. Hahaha! In University, I would probably have said, to get a good grade depending on the class being taught, just for an example: Yep, the House of Windsor. The Windsors. No more needs to be said other than that, right? Of course not. I have no questions. Subject matter mastered. Chop, Chop. Next topic, please. Hahaha. Unbelievable.
On the quote ”“Archie will look back at that in so many years and realise he was so fortunate to have this moment with one of the best and most impactful leaders of our time. It’s really special.” (This is Character Trait acquisition whereby the experience of the child is utilised and commandeered by the narcissist parent for the purposes of asserting control and gathering fuel” Very interesting, When she said that it sounded way ”off ” to me, so thanks for breaking it down. I am wondering if you watched the interaction between Meghan and the baby, and your thoughts of using the baby as a PR prop. I would like to hear this fleshed out more… Your thoughts on keeping the baby ”private ” in Gr. Britain, and why she holds the baby pressed to her chest all the time, and why she was walking the baby and holding it’s hands so it could not move. In fact, a breakdown of each time the baby was presented.
Exactly.,,,,my thoughts as well! I wrote quite a comment on this very issue amongst others, above your comment , quite a bit above your comment. A must read. Love to hear your thoughts. Thanks,
What does IPPS mean? Also, what us meant by “devaluing”? I missed that somewhere. Your articles are fascinating.
Intimate Partner Primary Source ´husband/wife, cohabitation partner, may also be boyfriend or girlfriend.
I’m going to have to go back to the archives and read them all. HG, do you prefer that we post comments only on the newer articles, rather than something from 2017?
You may post where you wish.
Thank you.
There are many reasons why readers who wander here tend to stay, but I think your approach works in my case because so much of the info on other sites is abstract. I can’t connect it with real people or with myself. You often use the genre of a dramatic monologue; it’s like Browning’s “My Last Duchess” or “Soliloquy in a Spanish Cloister” or a Poe narrator: you may not approve of the character’s actions, but you’re in his head and it gives you the dynamic. Good actors don’t just figure out their own character’s motivation; they have to know what the other characters in a scene want. Your character may not know, but the actor HAS to know, or the scene dies.
When I looked back over various situations and the differing flavors of narc I encountered, trying to use information from other sites, I still couldn’t understand why some people were so destructive, seemingly at random. “You’re letting so-and-so live rent-free in your head,” the experts chide, but now I know that’s exactly what narcs do. They set up camp in your head and never leave willingly, even when they move on to the next victim. I didn’t understand my part in the script because I didn’t understand what the other character wanted from me–until I’d read several of your articles.
Once you see the pattern, you can’t un-see it. Those seemingly disparate people had one thing in common: they sought fuel, and prized it above anything else, even their own professional success or personal happiness.
Violetta, good analogy with the actor knowing his character. Stanislavsky method. Makes sense.