Understanding Word Salad
What is word salad?
Why do narcissists use it?
What does it sound like?
How do you deal with it?
This provides you with a comprehensive example of word salad and then detailed explanations about its use and how you may tackle it.
17 thoughts on “Understanding Word Salad”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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The only thing missing in this is about halfway through, mine would start revising the entire first half of the argument, telling me what I said or he said (slanted to his side) and then the argument would be about what the first half of the argument was about .
Funny but not .
Yes, WAF my ex and I argued about arguing more than anything else. We could make someone’s head spin with our arguments!
Challenge fuel: questions are an affront to the narcissist’s notion of superiority and lack of accountability. The narcissist feels a lack of control and needs to reassert control by putting down the challenge, superiority must be exerted and this is also an excellent opportunity to draw fuel.
The first Line of Defence is activated: Denial.
She counters his denial (more challenge fuel) so he issues another denial, however, she persists so he deploys the Second Line of Defence: Distract and Deflect: Projection, blame shifting, gas lighting, provocation and character assassination by proxy.
Control and superiority has been asserted, fuel has been received and the challenge has been halted by the narcissist going out.
All is well in NarcLand.
Wow totally reminded me of my ex lesser narcs’ behavior.. lol that insanity would go on and on. The never ending blame shifting and confusion..ugh. Total nonsense it is… 😑
This is why I don’t move in with them.
It is absolutely maddening to be in this cycle. It is actually funny reading it when you are no longer in it. The other day I happened to be in the presence of my son and his father (narc 1) because there was a large scale evacuation here due to more CA fires and I ended up meeting them in another to city to exchange and it was a mess. At one point they argued about something and narc 1 got prickly and my son (11 yr old on the spectrum, very smart and high functioning) countered with ” Ha! circular arguing!” because he has heard me refer to it. His dad stopped and said “What?” and I somehow distracted from the whole thing and got my son off the hook but I was laughing inside.
I have a high functioning autistic son with a narc also. He also knows the meanings of the words triangulation, gaslighting, rewriting history, projection.
He will be well prepared my boy
This is like a circular conversation it seems..
Word salad,blame shifting,no accountability etc. The poor lady just asked a question and got
a big production now she needs a doctor.? Dont you think it should be the other way around? Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
Word salad ,blameshifting no ccountability etc. Poor lady.just asked a question and got a big production now she needs a doctor,? Dont you think it’s the other way around. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Pati,
Exactly! Same thing I’ve dealt with all these years. I mostly try not to engage in it the past few years, instead I will just look at him, point my finger and tell him, “blameshifting“, “projecting“ , etc- . It throws him off balance, pisses him off, and usually shuts him up .
I need to remind myself to do that, it’s easy to get caught up in explaining,and defending yourself to these Narcs.
Not too long ago he told me something that I knew was a lie and I demanded that he provide me with examples , he was not expecting me to ask him that. For the life of him, he could not provide me with a single example, and he quickly tried to change the subject. I informed him that he was attempting to change the subject, that he had proven to me what he said was a lie, and then I walked away.
I agree with you. See the problem is when they are telling a lie they see it as the truth from their perspective. We see it as a lie and we know it is a lie.
When I get upset my N tells me I have emotional issues and it is from my childhood which is not true.
I cant argue with him anymore there is no win situation. They just live in a whole new different world than us and we dont mix LambToLion.
Pati
He is projecting which incorporates a blame shift and it’s gas lighting, as well.
It’s all your fault because YOU have emotional issues from your childhood; it’s not true but he rewrote your childhood to deflect from his behavior and place blame onto you. (Second Line of Defence: Distract and Deflect)
Hi K,
He does this all the time .
I forgot to delete my history and now he knows I am researching Narcissism and says to me that I gaslight him. Talk about fricken contradiction .
Pati
Oh oh, the cat’s out of the bag! Ha ha ha…now you’re the gas lighter! Projection central. Ha ha ha…it seems so unreal; we can’t make this shit up.
Even if I tried I couldn’t. I guess if I was an actor maybe I could but then I would win an Oscar for best supporting Actress lol!
LambToLion
Very good. State your case once and then walk away; don’t engage.