The Classroom Narcissist
I am Chloe. I am 18 years old and I had an affair with my teacher, Mr Stevens or Phil as I came to call him.
I am not some silly girl, although they have repeatedly tried to tell me that I am. Believe me, I have felt the weight of my opponents as they tried to convince me, no doubt orchestrated by Phil, that I dreamt the whole thing up. Still, it is to be expected isn’t it, that they, the teachers, will close ranks and look out for one another. That is what they do isn’t it? I have lost friends because of this, but I realise they are just jealous and they fancied Phil just like me, only I got to have him. I don’t blame them for fancying him, he is good looking and funny and he has that easy air about him that makes him so likeable, but what they don’t realise that it is all an act. Phil the Flirt, Phil the Mate but when it suits him he remains Phil the Teacher, set apart and to stay apart.
He started it of course. I won’t deny that I liked him from the beginning. Everybody does. He is a popular teacher and being good-looking as well is never going to cause him a problem in the popularity stakes, but you see, he knows all of this, he plays on all of this and boy does he use it. He uses it to reel you in and then, and here is the clever part, he uses it as his defence. “I cannot help it if they take advantage of my popularity,” he protests as he maintains his innocence. He is not innocent. And he took my innocence.
He started it. I recognised the way he looked at me. He always looked for me in class before anybody else, as if ensuring that I was there in my usual seat and then giving me ‘that smile’. Oh, he smiles at everyone I was told. He does not smile for them the way he does, or rather did, for me. I am not stupid. I may be young but I saw how he would stare at me, how I could feel his gaze on me, how I could tell from the corner of my eye that he was stood besides me and was looking down my blouse. Who wouldn’t? I am attractive, I have my fair share of boys chasing after me and Mr Stevens is a man, he is flesh and blood, so he is bound to look isn’t he? He wasn’t meant to touch though but he did. Oh he touched me, in so many ways and he knew what he was doing.
I had heard that others had become besotted with him before. Rumours of some girl a few years ago who had to be persuaded to move to another school because she fell in love with him and would not leave him alone. I tried to find her actually but got nowhere. Some say he got her pregnant and she had to have an abortion, her parents hushing it all up as they did not want the scandal. Some say it is all made up. They have said the same to me.
I know what I saw. The cheeky winks just for me, the slightly longer smile than usual aimed at me. The way he usually asked me first when I put my hand up to answer a question. He was besotted with me first. I tried to tell them this but they dismissed what I said. Told me I was reading too much into him just being friendly, that I was trying to see things which were not there because I was desperate for his approval.
He was always encouraging, praising me for my work. I always enjoyed history but it became even better when he was allocated as my teacher. I worked hard because I wanted good results and I wanted him to be pleased with my work. I got high marks from the beginning and I now realise this was his way of reeling me in, making me feel special, marking me out for special treatment. He advocated on my behalf that I should be a candidate for Oxbridge (prestige British universities) and that meant extra tuition ; with him of course. Now, I am good enough to get in to Oxford or Cambridge (I chose Oxford) but he clearly saw this as his opportunity to isolate me from the other students and cleverly, from witnesses. After all, plenty of people across the various subjects have these Oxbridge tutorials after college hours, but he used his to teach me about more than the Tudor dynasty and the English Civil War.
Once he had me in those special tuition one-on-ones, then it was inevitable where it would end up. I was not complaining. I wanted his attention, absolutely, although of course he should have known better. He was the one in a position of trust, a man in a position of authority and I was just the pupil. Yes, I wanted him, but I didn’t realise that he was the one who had engineered for me to feel that way. That is what these predators do. They make it seem like your doing, but he hypnotised me and made me fall under his spell.
He was always so assured, doing just enough to maintain an element of doubt should he have misjudged the situation, just enough to be able to protest it was an innocent gesture. The hand on the shoulder, the hug of congratulations, the slightly-too-long touching of fingers when passing a book or an essay to one another. Oh, he was good, he knew what he was doing, steadily reeling me in and making me the centre of the universe. He chose me from the very beginning and little by little he reeled me in. He used his influence to bring me to heel and have me on my knees (how he relished seeing me on my knees) and I lapped up his attention and more besides.
Soon the secret trysts began. Arrangements made in his office with that Stuart family tree covering the door window so nobody could see what went on in his office. So much for transparent government, he still subscribed to the idea of an absolute monarchy. He never used his ‘phone, clever old Phil. He made it seem romantic, the whispered instructions of where to meet and when, always outdoors, never in places where we would be seen. No traces left, no observers, no evidence. He was a master at this game and I was clearly naive, but I am not a silly little girl.
And then he dropped me. No explanation. He became cold. Civil yet cold. I tried to get my friends to see how he treated me differently but they told me that I was imagining it. My grades remained excellent but the Phil that held me and read to me from historical texts and delighted me with his knowledge was gone. The Oxbridge tutelage came to a conclusion as the entrance examinations loomed ; he had no reason to be alone with me and even though I sought an audience with him, this absolute monarch would not grant me admittance.
So I spoke out. Why shouldn’t I? He told me he loved me and I loved him too. Yet once he had my innocence (or rather once he had it two score) he considered me conquered and of no great interest to him anymore. Nobody treats me like this. I will bring him down. He is not going to get away with it. Oh, I know they think I have made this all up, some kind of revenge for not getting my way, but they have underestimated me. I am not going to be denied and I will make the all see, even my parents who for some inexplicable reason have sided with him. I shouldn’t be surprised though, the have always hated me for some reasons, they are frauds to think they can call themselves mother and father. No, I know this is how his kind behave. They turn everyone against you, cut you off and paint you as the trouble maker. That is not me. I am the victim.
I am Mr Stevens. I am 30 years old and a teacher of history. I still am, although I am currently suspended as a consequence of the ridiculous allegations of a fantasist. It is an outrage that someone’s made-up fantasy has the potential to ruin a man’s career.
I am no fool. I have taught for nearly a decade and I know the tricks pupils get up to. I have seen them all. I have always been a teacher who adopts the ‘carrot’ approach. You always get further with honey rather than vinegar. Oh, I know there are one or two sticks in the mud in the staff room who regard my popularity with sniffed disdain, but that is just jealousy on their part. My results speak for themselves. Plenty of students choose to study history and between Miss Kelshaw and I, we make a formidable team. Thankfully Miss Kelshaw has supported me in this unpleasant matter although I always knew she would do so. Sensible lady.
You do walk a tight rope at times when you are friendly, yet firm, with the students. I am not their friend but I do not have to be their enemy either. I love history and my natural enthusiasm for the topic is something I try to install in my charges too. If you love something, you always do better don’t you? It does not feel like a bind or a chore. By ensuring those who choose to study history with me really love it and want to live and breathe it, I weed out the ones where it is not for them nice and early and they move to a different subject in the first two weeks. Plus doing that ensures that I am only going to get those who are going to get the best grades, so it is a win-win all around. I want to make my mark on this college. I will be the principal one day, although at present it appears that moral principles are ones which are trying to attract my attention to a greater degree.
Chloe Fowler is a good student. She will do well. Polite if something of an attention-seeker. Always first to stick her hand in the air an one to air an opinion on absolutely anything and everything. Nothing really wrong with that I suppose, at least she has learned the mantra of make a point and then ensure you have something to back it up when she advanced her arguments. I taught her just as I taught everybody else ; to the best of my ability.
Unfortunately for me, she mis-read my concern for her education as meaning something else. What can I do about that? I am not going to sit behind a screen and isolate myself from my students am I? That is not how I operate. I am not a ‘no smiles before Christmas’ kind of guy. Not at all. History needs to be alive, accessible and most of all enjoyable. It is like anything in this life – if you enjoy it, make it yours and you will succeed. I want all my students to succeed.
Yes, I selected Chloe Fowler for Oxbridge tutelage. That was the right selection and I still say it is, despite her ridiculous allegations. She has her keen mind, too keen as it happens. I have read what she has accused me of, or rather the police office read it to me and it is all nonsense, a made-up fairy tale. I see she has been clever though, she has ensured that she has accused me when there was nobody else available to witness our interactions. It is always the case that those chosen for Oxbridge tuition see their tutors in their offices. That has always been the case and I am pleased that my fellow teachers and the principal have confirmed that to be the case. I knew they would back me on this. It is an occupational hazard of ours, infatuated students who start to think they are the apple of your eye. Usually it is nothing more than a harmless term-long crush and they grow out of it, but not this girl. She has something seriously wrong with her. Has to have to come out with the lies she has spouted. Suggesting we had sex beneath ‘the tree that Charles the Second hid in’. I know that to be a lie ; that tree was destroyed hundreds of years ago. Everything she has spouted is just the slops of the mind of a fantasist and she is dangerous. Nobody is going to believe her. I know the police have to go through the motions but it will be soon kicked in to touch. She has done this because I rejected her. I didn’t reject her outright, after all there was nothing to reject, we had no romantic relationship, there was no flirtation, nothing. It is clear, however, she thought otherwise and in that warped mind of hers, she has felt rejected in some way and this is the result. An expensive and unnecessary investigation, plus the interference to the other students, no wonder so many have turned against her.
I know she liked me. I am a likeable person but I maintained a proper teacher-student relationship and she has seen fit to dream up something else. What can you do? Put cameras everywhere I suppose but then who wants that, surely there has to be some element of trust between us? Am I annoyed? Of course I am. I haven’t done anything wrong and along comes this girl and she spouts all manner of idiocy and she is treated seriously. I mean, anybody can see this is a tissue of lies. This had better not affect my promotion prospects or I will be taking legal action too. Thankfully the local paper have not reported anything about it so far, that conversation I had with the deputy editor seems to have worked, so far so good on that front. He is a good friend and does not want to see the reputation of a hard-working and successful teacher sullied. What annoys me most is how easy it is for someone like her to make these things up and next thing it is suspension and investigation. They tell me that it is a neutral act but I know there will be those trotting out the old ‘no smoke without fire’ rubbish.
I realise that when you are decent-looking chap like me and because you are friendly and get to share a joke with the students, some might blur the boundaries but it is one thing for them to be blurred and another for them to be crossed. Am I to be punished just for being popular, because that is what she is trying to do?
I am not going to change my style though. I am a hands-on teacher and that always gets results and one besotted fantasists is not going to make Phil Stevens change how he teaches. No way.
It is ridiculous. As if I would be interested in some 16 year old (which is how she says she was when this started) when I have a gorgeous wife at home. That in itself should tell those looking into this that this is a witch hunt by a disturbed adolescent who should be studying for her exams and getting help with whatever problem she has, rather than trying to ruin the life of an honest and decent man. I am the victim in all of this.
Who is the class room narcissist?
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31 thoughts on “The Classroom Narcissist”
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I voted for Phil for various reasons. Everything about his language screamed narc. He smears her, he blame shifts, he denies accountability…
I mean look at his language : “I did nothing wrong.”
Classic narc phrase.
The thing about the tree… gaslighting right there.
And dropping her like a stone, again a narc thing to do.
He has another teacher and even her own parents backing him up. Coterie.
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As for the girl herself, I don’t think she’s a narc.
First of all she says she’s lost friends over this. What kind of narc would lose members of their army like that? If she were a narc, people would be backing her up.
She talks of loving him. Her language towards the end is angry, hurt, and confused as to why he ditched her. This suggests emotive. She’s upset because she’s been spurned.
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That’s just my thoughts anyway. HG when will you reveal the answer?
And sometimes there’s this guy. Better if he had dumped her:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7667869/Russian-military-historian-63-dragged-icy-river-severed-arms-backpack.html#article-7667869
Oh, HG; I just found your answer to the classroom riddle on an earlier post, but you never elaborated – could you please do it here?
I voted phil. There are situations tho where the student is a narc as well but usually theyd be more calculated and record conversations or in some was blackmail. This doesnt seem to be the case chloe was naive and now sees how she was seduced and manipulated for ego boost and sex only to be ghosted.
In this day in age the phils out there have to be very careful and the risks of doing this are way higher with technology. Cameras in particular could back up a lot of chloes story. The fact everything was by word and never text speaks volumes. She isnt his first and he covers his trail. Sadly there are a lot of in workplace politics and hes probably untouchable given his cocky attitude. He isnt worried about the allegations. A difficult lesson for a young student.
I had in highschool a biology teacher very much like this professor. We had a yacht trip and he was very flirty with me. I remember in the dark while we anchored to go look at an island with low tidal pools he held my hand. I remember being part nervous and part on cloud nine. I had a major crush on him. I daydreamed about him and thought his wife looked cold and mean when she picked him up at the airport.
He would look at me in class a certain way and i remember him discussing sex and ejaculating and almost have to laugh at how in depth he talked about it and how pleasurable etc ickkk!!
It never amounted to anything but looking back now as a parent it was very inappropriate of him. He was a creep! As a young girl i was naive and had so much to learn. Thats where these narc professors can take advantage of younger minds and take advantage.
Whether or not anything sexual happened between the two is irrelevant in this case. We know that at least one of them is lying, which smells like narcissism (in combination with several other factors).
I’d go for the “both of them are narcissists” answer, because they both exhibit lack of empathy or human emotions, both are full of it, lack accountability, radiate superiority and entitlement.
HG, are you going to give your verdict?
I think the teacher is a MRN regarding his cowardly ways and his making sure to alwas communicate vaguely, just precisely enaugh for the girl to get exactly what he is suggesting but never using the right words so he can bach off at all time.
but the behavior of the girl is far more hard to understand, i finde it very deficult to make the diference between a classic heart broken highschooler or the hurt ego of a narcissist, but her tendency of thinking her parents don’t love her and never did, and she doesn’t seem to communicate in emotional terms, i guess that someone with a broken heart is more likely to describe how they miss the orther partie or how they felt around them ect… but here, she appears to be more bothered by the fact that her word is doubted and by the fact that she was left.
again a lovesick teen would more likely be preocupied by taking back their loved one than by making them pay.
i tend to think that even she is a narcissist, or may be a super empath but i’m reluctant to use this classificaion since i’m not sure that i fully understood it.
i can’t tell for hight school,the first trimester a math teacher desapointed me greatly and from that poit on i deemed them all unworthy of my attention, and started skiping and not listening. ( yes verry narcissistic of me, i know and i regret nothing).
but in university, the majority are at least verry inlove with the idea of themselves, the main goal is not explaining to the students, but more like making sure that all the students know how smart he is and how his subject is dificult and he is a genius for mastering it (mastering is a big word for the majority of them).
the introduction sentence the prof of wave propagation used was ” nobody passed the class last year” what kinde of introduction is this, if nobody passed the class ask yoursefl the good questions.
but the worst case, is when you actually look forward to study a subject and the teacher is an epsilon semimoron ( i finaly used this expression), i was so exited to take the coding and data compression class and in the first 20 minutes i understood that the prof was mixing the capacity of a chanel and the debit of a source, and evry question you ask is treated as an insult to his magnifisent brain, it was a verry long semester.
It was the geography teacher at my school DH. Phil’s the Narc, this made my skin crawl. Suprising to see so many doubting the child.Trust your instincts
I voted both of them just because the way she explains it is unusual to me for a victim. She doesn’t seem to feel responsible in any way which most victims would feel a degree of responsibility even when they shouldn’t…e.g “I shouldn’t have been alone with him” “I shouldn’t have kissed him back” etc
She appears more preoccupied with the fact that he ended the affair and now she has to get him back for cutting her off; rather than coming across as genuinely hurt and confused by his actions.
I could be wrong and she might just be angry and putting on a brave face and that’s why she comes across that way.
Hi Witch,
There’s no evidence in the writing that any thing took place other than the smiling, winking, touches of hand and shoulder etc. Even this means he’s a twat if not a nacissist. She may well be a damaged young person with attachment difficulties and need for attention for some reason. However, she takes responsibility for her part in whatever happened and her protestations of ‘not being a victim’ seem more like pride and embarrassment rather than lack of accountability or superiority. One way or the other she felt played and then rejected by him but acknowledges she was up for it. Him? An innocent/normal man in his position, who has had previous complaint about his behaviour, would be saying ‘I’ll never teach again’ or at very least ‘I’ll never put my hands on a pupil again’. ‘I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused her and my family, even though I didn’t do what she said’ imltho
She said something about being on her knees. Doubt it’s entirely a metaphor.
Something happened, alright.
Hi Notme,
I interpreted “took my innocence” to mean sex was involved as well as saying “he relished seeing me on my knees” to mean oral sex.
There’s just something haughty about the way she describes the relationship. At times she sounds almost proud that she fucked the teacher that everyone fancies and wants everyone to know about it. Most people would feel embarrassed that people know and are gossiping about them.
What stood out for me with the teacher’s statement was that he seems to want control over what student remains in his class by getting rid of the ones he believes will not do as well and seems to want to take credit for their achievements.
Usually I would just take the girls side but I know a test from HG wouldn’t be so easy or straightforward
Hi
Agreed, they may well have had sex. But it isn’t important whether they did or not. He is a teacher and didn’t respect the boundaries he is required to. He blame shifts, deflects etc and shows no accountability, despite the fact that it is his responsibility not to cross the line and not hers. He is in a position of power and she isn’t. Her responses seem in line with a teenager’s crush to me, whether he took advantage of her secually or not. She might be a bloody nightmare and damaged in some way but she doesn’t come across as a narcissist to me. That’s all I was saying.
Now that I’ve read it again,
I’m leaning more towards her not being the narcissist, based on the fact that she is able to describe in detail how he manipulated her. I’ve already voted but now I’m going with the teacher being the narcissist… 👀
Her friends are so jealous
You know how bad girls get
Sometimes it’s not so easy
To be the teacher’s pet
Yes, she’s proud…until the ones before and after her come forward, if they aren’t too embarrassed. Not embarrassed that they did Mr. So-and-so, but that they got taken in by the same “You’re special, you’re the only one” routine as all the rest.
Nnooo I searched and the student is the narcissist! I should have trusted my initial feelings
Hi Witch,
I wonder about one thing. Why do you use witch as your username? Is it because you are witch?
Pah!
Why is it always the history teacher? 😆 (We had a similar situation in our school).
Not sure. I hated History in high school.
Then I took a class with Professor Narc in college and somehow ended up fascinated with History (and graduated with a degree in History).
Of course, I only asked him out—and slept with him—after he gave me my grade.
I thought *I* was the Seductress in that scenario. Ha! Ha! Laugh’s on me, thanks to learning from HG.
In our case he was the only male teacher in high school – young and handsome, straight out of college. All the girls, including models, populars etc and the female teachers fancied him. He ended up dating one very ordinarily-looking, timid and introverted girl, I guess she was 17 at the time (not illegal in my country). Then he left her for the school secretary. I think he is still teaching at the same school 20+ years later.
lisk: I not once had neither an alluring Professor nor an alluring Employer. Now that I think about it. Darn it! Maybe, I have been lucky, though. But, in NYC, so many females chase Professors in University and Employers in the workplace, but now that I think about that as well, some or even the majority of these women could be female Narcissists chasing to have their Primary Aims met. Well, I do believe many of them climb the ladder much faster, in many of those scenarios. With absolutely no envy nor jealousy from me, because they are in their own world with their own rules of survival.
I thought I was chasing this professor, just like I thought I was the one who chased Narcx. I thought I was the seductress in both cases.
After reading HG’s Sitting Target, I realized what a duped woman I was.
Oh, and at the university all of our male professors were either butt-ugly or gay… (because philology department 🙈🙊), so no hanky-panky there
Just like the
Old man in
That book by Nabokov
Anyone else hear Sting while reading this? (Actually Humbert was in his mid-30s.)
Our Language Arts teacher in Jr. High wanted us to stay after school and read Lolita with him (he’d ask girls individually, of course). Fortunately, I’d already read it at a babysitting job and warned the others when we compared notes. Not that anyone was tempted by HIM: he was balding, bearded, chubby-thighed, and looked like a Walrus. But if you’re an awkward adolescent, the idea that you’re in irresistible Nymphet could be tempting in itself.
Violetta: He was no Jeremy Irons, I gather. Or, there would have been a lot of trouble, I would bet.
No Jeremy Irons, no James Mason. Definitely no Sting.
I’d’ve been in real danger if he’d been Professor Snape. Those bitter, brooding types….
Thank God (or whoever) for babysitting jobs. I discovered some of the best books and albums in those homes where I sat.
I actually really loved the language in Lolita. I just didn’t love the Walrus. It made me feel even worse that I couldn’t attract a better class of perv. Was I really so pathetic that THIS was the best I could do?
Fortunately, I’d already had a couple of makeout sessions with a guy one year ahead of me, on whom I was ferociously crushing. So the Walrus didn’t even have curiosity working for him.
She might have some narcy tendencies, but she might also be an adolescent who fluctuates between feeling superior and feeling inferior and thinks both states are realistic at the time.
He, on the other hand, is whatever he is going to be. He could reinforce her during the superior phase, reassure her during the insecure one, and dump her the minute he finds someone younger and more vulnerable, someone who desperately wants someone to think her special.