The Effect of No Contact on the Narcissist
You know that No Contact is the key to beating the narcissist, but how does it affect the narcissist?
This Logic Bulletin explains to you what happens when you impose your No Contact Regime and how you can expect the narcissist to respond.
It covers Lesser, Mid-Range and Greater Narcissists in fascinating detail.
How does the narcissist feel?
What happens if you tip-off the narcissist that you are leaving him or ending the relationship?
What happens to the narcissist if you end the relationship and say nothing?
How does the narcissist respond?
What do you need to look out for in terms of common errors which will prejudice your no contact regime and place you at risk?
What will the narcissist do by way of response, so you can ascertain how to avoid this?
The content of this Logic Bulletin will give you these answers and more so you can build your Logic Defences and understand what will happen when you impose no contact now or in the future.
14 thoughts on “The Effect of No Contact on the Narcissist”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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We were 17 when we met. We fell in love & I took his virginity. When we moved in together I discovered that his appetite for physical and verbal abuse almost rivaled his need for sex. Refusal to put out always met with a series of kicks.
One day, suddenly, he moved out. I was relieved. Then I was pregnant.
It didn’t matter that I was “with child,” his needs to control had to be satisfied. And then there were the other girls, of course. At the time I had no idea what a narcissist was; I just knew he was toxic.
One night I met a desperately lonely soldier who wanted an instant family. We had a whirlwind romance and got married around the time my ex realized I had gone NC.
The day after I delivered the baby, a mutual friend stopped in to find out the baby’s stats. Apparently my ex had run off with another girl, but wanted to know about the baby.
Fast forward 30 years.
I’d long forgiven my ex for his behavior. I mean, aren’t all teenagers difficult and selfish?
My son needed a transplant. I found my ex’s contact info online and contacted him.
I was relieved to discover that he was happy to hear from me. TOO happy, I realize now.
If I knew then what I know now, that phone call would have gone A LOT differently.
He doesn’t use the “n-word” but he definitely knows “how” he is.
I don’t know what to expect in the future, but I have an uneasy feeling about it.
How likely is it that he’s ACTUALLY “forgiven” me and will let me live in peace?
I require more information about the circumstances and have more information to convey to you to address your questions. You should organise an email or audio consultation and I will be able to assist you.
You’re right. (Of course! 😉)
I apologize for breaking protocol here. I’ll rake something together and contact you soon.
Thank you for replying.
No need to apologise NSS, there is no protocol on such things. You are always welcome to ask, however, most of the time the person commenting does not provide me with enough information and I dislike not providing a full and accurate response. Moreover, providing an answer requires the provision of more information than I have time to convey in a response on the blog, hence why I created the consultations. They were also created so people can guarantee that they will get answers and in a timescale because they have paid for the service. Although I provide a lot of information through the articles and answer on the blog, I have no obligation to answer or reply here (something that the occasional reader seems to forget (not you)).
NSS, thank you for sharing your story. It made me wonder about the outcome of the transplant. I hope all is well.
Thank you for asking! MB, you’re a gem. 😙
After numerous delays, I was able to donate my kidney and after a little hiccup or two, he’s back at work and we’re planning for his wedding in October 2020.
NSS, what a beautiful outcome! Congratulations on the wedding. I’m glad you are doing well after such a major operation. Thank you for the update.
His rage will be extinguished because there’s nothing to power it – if he were thrown in the slammer? I didn’t know their rage needs fuel too, it’s mind boggling.
This one brings back a series of memories for me HG.
I had ribs broken because I didn’t cut the onions to his specifics that evening which was finely diced, plates smashed against the wall of the dining area and he caught me leaning in and pulling something out of the refrigerator and slammed the door multiple times as his fucking family “cheered” him on, then when he calmed down his Aunt came swooping in to inform me of what a disgraceful wife and mother I was and that list went on for some time. Then next day I was allowed to go to the hospital to be seen. I was 19.
People don’t understand why I want nothing to do with that family and when death comes to them my response is “so” they tell me they were my family.
It has been a long time sense I have given this time in my life any thought and I can not stop the tears this morning. I know my Grandmother never cared yet I wonder this morning is she ever really knew the hell she sent me to. I remember the last time I saw her, she had Alzheimer’s and thought I was the nurse. She thought I was still a young child and asked me where I was and she hoped I would grown up to be like me the nurse. For the first time in my life I felt accepted by the woman who raised me.
It was the last time I saw her. I left home again and she died not long after this.
I’m sorry you’re having these thoughts today twilight.
Hello Mercy
It is ok, I appreciate your concern.
It is not often I reflect on my marriage, that particular moment in time is when I knew I had to find a way out.
HG is right it can be dangerous to tell them in person it is over, the first time my husband found out I was leaving…..that man sunk to a level I didn’t know a person could, the next time I told him and he cut my brake lines after holding a gun to my head and pulling the trigger (it just happened to not be loaded) I can tell you I damn near pissed myself I have a scar where he hit me with it.
I learned to survive in their world, I could never understand the why, HG taught me that. Now they (lessors and midrangers) l’ost any abilities to ensnare me, The tools I use to help heal others I use as weapons against them.
Twilight you are proof we can overcome the worst. I hope you are feeling better today.
YOUR STORY COULD BE TOLD BY MY MOTHER. BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT YOUNG LOVING FORGIVING LOST GIRL. SLIT WRISTS. HAD. ME A LITTLE BABY GIRL BETRAYED BY HER FAMILY BETRAYED BY THE HANDSOME MAN SHE LOVED ,ALL BECAUSE SHE WOULDN’T HAVE AN ABORTION IN 1952 . THESE NARCISSISTIC MONSTERS ARE SO SELFISH AND EVIL. IF ONLY PEOPLE LIKE YOUR SELF AND MY MOM & MYSELF HAD ACCESS TO MATERIAL AS HG.TUDOR PRESENTS TO US LIVES WOULDN’T BE SO LOST FOREVER LIKE MOM AND OTHERS THAT TURNED OUT SO MISERABLE. BUT NOW WE HAVE A CHANCE .THANK YOU 💃
Twilight,
💚💙💜