The Geyser Empath
The Geyser Empath is an individual who is empathic in nature with the additional tendency to fountain with emotion. All empaths are emotional, it goes with the territory but some empaths are far more emotional than others.
This type of empathic tendency is marked by high energy levels. One might even go so far as to say that shades of hyper activity start to appear with the Geyser Empath. He or she is always on the go, heading here and travelling there, seeking out people to see how they are and to exhibit their significant caring side with plenty of suitable expressions of concern, empathy and understanding.
The Geyser Empath is very useful for our kind because of how expressive they are with regard to their emotions. Their responses are exaggerated. This does not mean that they are false, far from it, the exaggeration appears as a heightened response which is very useful for us to witness and then allows us to mimic it.
There is no subtlety involved. When the Geyser Empath is happy it is shown as a torrent of joy, their concern is grave and focussed and their hurt is not of a silent tear but the wail and tears of the tortured. Such displays may seem melodramatic to some, but they are not, they are exactly how the Geyser Empath feels.
The Geyser Empath, owing to the high energy levels talks often about how he or she feels but this is not a case of them explaining that because it must be all about them, but rather they will convey those feelings in order to help others by causing them to better understand. When someone talks about being in despair, the Geyser Empath will relate how they know despair only too well and will articulate that feeling in order to demonstrate that they understand how the listener feels.
This person has a tissue thin skin and is highly sensitive. They are very easily hurt and when we lash out against them, they respond with a fountain of emotion. If they are praised, their thanks will gush from them with greater intensity than a Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar acceptance speech. If they are denigrated, the tears will not flow but they will cascade along with that trembling bottom lip and a near histrionic response to the pain caused by wounding words.
The Geyser Empath is unable to put on a brave face. Whilst the Carrier Empath is dogged and stoic in the face of adversity, focussing their empathy on resolving the situation in a practical fashion, the Geyser Empath will dissolve in a bubbling mess of tears. They are completely unable to conceal their emotions, even for a short time. A Carrier Empath can do so because they shift their feelings on to solving a problem. The Geyser Empath does not have that function. They are excellent at tea and sympathy, kind and comforting words flowing, but of little use practically.
Unlike the Magnet Empath, the Geyser Empath is better dealing with intimate and one-on-one situations rather than handling a crowd. The Geyser Empath loves nothing more than finding an individual as their project and wanting to use their biggest asset in order to resolve issues; their utter devotion to love.
They are the greatest love devotees of all empaths, they truly believe that with love everything can be solved. Love conquers everything, all you need is love, love will save the day. If you were to ask them just how this happens, they could not answer, but explain that love works in mysterious ways and by being loving, showing love and acting with love in each and everything they do, this will resolve problems, heal hurt and bring happiness to all.
This devotion to love means that the Geyser Empath is big on romance and will readily fall prey to overt exhibitions of passion, love and romance from our kind. Any narcissist which presents as the knight in shining armour will have the Geyser Empath’s attention from the beginning as he or she believes they have found a kindred spirit.
The Geyser Empath’s overt displays of emotion make our task of mirroring so much easier. He or she will wear his or her heart on their sleeve and they will suffer repeated heartbreak. Notwithstanding this outcome, the Geyser Empath is undeterred. They will suffer misery and pain from this broken heart and they will then affirm their belief in love and bounce back.
No matter how devastated they are following the shattering of their heart, they will piece it back together and will do so with greater speed amongst the empathic types. They may suffer considerable pain and they will exhibit the effect more greatly than other empathic types but they also re-charge with a greater speed as a consequence of their devotion to love. Their belief is unshakeable.
No matter how many times they are let down, hurt, cheated on and so forth, they will soon bounce back. They are not naïve but rather have an undimmed and undented belief in the power of love. This capacity for returning to the arena of love so promptly after heartache means that they are ideal candidates for post discard and post escape hoovers as they ‘refuel’ so quickly.
The Geyser Empath is highly sensitive and will be moved to tears regularly be they tears of joy or tears of pain. There will often be a need for a tissue when this person is around. One might be moved to consider them as someone pathetic but that would be an inappropriate label. Yes the Geyser Empath is very easy to manipulate into spurting out fuel and because of their beliefs they will suffer repeated hurts but their strength lies in their unwavering belief in love and how they soon bounce back following their set backs.
They will do Misery 2.0 when they are wounded and hurt, the sobbing, the wailing and the tears will be extensive but it will not last. They do not wallow, but wipe away the tears, reapply the mascara, smooth down the rumpled clothes and climb right back on to their Unicorn of Love and Hope and gallop into the fray once again. The Geyser Empath can exhibit unpredictability of response.
There will always be emotion, which suits our kind, but the extent and intensity of it may at times be so startling that it actually affects the standing of the narcissist with third parties who look on and witness what appears to them to be histrionics and melodrama. Exerting control over this emotional output can at times prove difficult for all save the Greater Narcissist.
The Geyser Empath lacks the serenity of the Magnet Empath and there is no cool deliberation of the Carrier. The Geyser will erupt with emotion with squeals of delight at the good news of a friend who is to be a parent, the triumphant praise for a colleague who has secured a promotion and the devastated collapse following the death of a loved one. The Geyser Empath believes that everyone has the capacity to love and that once they do, all their ills will be solved.
This person appeals to all schools of narcissist because of the high fuel content that is provided and the ease by which it can be provoked. They are easy to seduce but tend to suffer swifter devaluations than other empaths because they shine brighter and thus run the risk of our kind becoming familiar with their fuel in a quicker time so that the potency loses its lustre sooner.
As explained above however, they are prime candidates for hoovers and often the hoover bar is lower for them as a consequence of the narcissist knowing that so much delicious fuel will become available with the added bonus of it being hoover fuel and furthermore because the devotion to love means that the Geyser Empath has a greater susceptibility to giving second, third and fourth chances.
The Geyser Empathic tendency is evident in all of the classes of empathic individuals. This tendency is often seen amongst the Co-Dependent class when this tendency manifests in an extreme form. Its presence will exist in Empaths but tends to be mixed with other empathic tendencies as well so the effect will be slightly diluted but not muted.
With regard to the Super Empath it is unusual to see the Geyser Empathic tendency because of the Super Empath’s inherent resilience to both a sudden devaluation and being hoovered.
The Lesser is drawn to those with this tendency because the effort required is so minimal to prompt a response and thus accords with the Lesser narcissist’s lower energy levels and reduced cognitive function for manipulation and machinations.
The Mid-Ranger will also be attracted because of the fuel on offer and the ease by which it can be harvested but the emotional volatility can become wearing to the Mid-Ranger because he will struggle to assert control to achieve some of his aims.
The Greater revels in those with Geyser Empathic tendencies finding the sudden eruptions amusing and playing straight into his portrayal of the individual as unbalanced and unhinged. He or she will take a perverse pleasure in provoking the Geyser into giving more and more fuel.
71 thoughts on “The Geyser Empath”
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Do you think Narcs can bring out these traits in us or heighten them?
I’m not, in general, prone to ‘gushing’ although I feel things deeply, but with him, all my reactions seemed to be intensified. I have always felt comfortable complimenting and expressing positive feelings towards people I love or even just like a lot. But in this relationship I told him EVERYTHING. Way too much to be normal. When you was lovely, I told him so, ad nauseam. When he was a twat, I’d tell him gently that he’d hurt my feelings and that could have been the end of it, but in all manner of ways he would provoke me until I was yelling like a crazy woman possessed of the devil. Once he said
‘S darling, everything was wonderful earlier and you couldn’t have been happier and now everything is terrible. These are both imposters and I can’t get drawn into the emotions of either one’.
Me – ‘Of course everything was wonderful, we were having a lovely day together FFS, but then for no reason, you haven’t spoken to me for 4 fucking hours’
‘S shoney, I don’t like it when you shout at me, you should calm down’
‘Oh yes you do! You love it because then you can complain about me shouting at you instead of explaining why you’ve been acting like a w#nker!’
Haha writing it down makes me sound like the nutter. Perhaps I am the Narc after all.
Yes.
haha, thank you HG
I’m taking it that your ‘yes’ means, indeed N’s can bring out these traits in us.
And not that I sound like the nutter, or that I’m the Narc after all.
No, you are not a nutter.
HG, was Caroline Aherne a mid or a greater? Reading about her private life one could think a mid but given her calculated and clever witty banter where she could pull people apart causes me to question that.
I have not analysed her AS2016.
Ah okay. Thanks for reply
Hi H.G.!
I submitted a comment several days ago about BPD, but I haven’t seen it…is it stuck in moderation limbo, or was there something I shouldn’t’ve said?…At any rate; I just finished your book Chained. I definitely have codependency, along with my other traits. It’s a stupid combination that messes with my sense of how to move about in the world. To quote from your book, “It is only where the particular disorder has been arrested that you will find you have been cursed with the condition of codependency. You are caught between two worlds, unable to belong to either. You are neither completely normal nor fully disordered but a stunted hybrid…” It is a curse indeed. Add to that that I’m fairly self-aware of all my issues, and I feel completely lost at how to act in the world. I can’t even codependent right. I just insulted my narcissist (lowkey, of course) and he blocked me. I have faith he’ll reach out again as he always has, but I’m pretty down about what I’ll do in the months that’ll pass until that happens. I’m thinking I’ll just show up at his house at some point and…idk, demand he let me in lol he doesn’t respond when I plead pathetically so I figure maybe a different tact might work?
Anyways…I know you’re busy and I’ll try not to bug you with too many aimless comments such as this. I guess it’s just nice to know you might read them, cause I’ve now pissed off the two people in my life I depend on for emotional stability (my co-parent ex-spouse and my narcissist) and I’m just feeling a bit low and alone.
If it’s not too much trouble to ask…why does he come back to hoover (I assume that’s what it is, though our situation is a bit unique to all the ones I’ve heard you describe), even after I wound him? (I’m assuming that’s what happens). He communicates every so often and keeps the channels open when I’m in codependent mode and begging him to let me come over. But then I get in my “Enough of this crap” mode and I say something a bit mean (in a neutral, matter-of-fact way) and then he insta-blocks me for several months. But then he always unblocks me and reaches out again…as long as I stay cooperative, of course. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just give up on me and ditch me. I’m grateful but I would think wounding would overcome any small benefit he gets when I’m in hyperactive codependent mode. And it’s only been all electronic communication for the past year and a half (always with future fakes to keep me hoping for a live meetup). Idk.
Hello Zielum, comments may be in moderation for some time. Do see the rules which explain the moderation process.
Thank you for reading Chained, I trust you left a review.
With regard to why you are hoovered, it is because there is a Hoover Trigger and because of the pursuit of The Prime Aims, the Hoover Execution Criteria are met which results in the hoover being executed. I can explain this in greater detail bespoke to your circumstances and the appropriate forum for doing so is through a consultation.
Thank you; duly noted.
I will work on that review.
Hello H.G.! I’d like to start off by saying, I love what you’re doing and I’m so grateful for the insight and clarity you bring. I knew this person in my life “almost certainly” had NPD, but with your work I’ve finally had the breakthrough that he has without a question NPD. Specifically, I was able to connect the dots that two extremely confusing behaviors he’s had with me were actually a smear campaign and then hoovering (or something of the sort). It has finally sunk in (after two years) how little I mean to him and how hopeless it is to think he may ever be “real” (i.e., vulnerable) with me. I didn’t feel the anguish this time when I blocked him for the thousandth (and hopefully final?..) time. Just disappointment at the realization. Thank you.
You’ve made mention a few times, notably in an interview I heard on YouTube, that “there is an argument” that those with BPD may actually be narcissists (I take that to mean having NPD, rather than just traits?). Could you please make a dedicated post on this topic? (I couldn’t find any through your site’s search function). I ask because I was diagnosed (I believe misdiagnosed) with BPD, yet I know that I have very strong narcissistic traits. The more I research on the two PD’s, the more they seem to overlap. If borderlines are actually narcissists, I’m interested to know what school they’d fall into (I assume Lesser or Mid-Range due to low emotional control and awareness), as well as the topic of relationships. From what I’ve read, borderlines and narcissists tend to attract each other. If borderlines are actually narcissists, that would mean a narc-narc attraction. I’ve also read elsewhere that there is a subtype of narcissist called a “vulnerable” narcissist; one who recognizes that they can’t seem to climb very high in the hierarchy and therefore attach to greater narcissists as a sort of status-by-proxy–as well as validation of their own internal sense of importance despite low personal achievements. They also tend to be passive aggressive and victimy. In my humble opinion, this sounds very borderline, as least as far as I’ve experienced (I’m only attracted to intelligent, emotionally-in-control, accomplished, narcissistic types–ability to manipulate [a “chess mind”, as I call it], an added bonus).
Although, you mentioned codependents at one point and that fits very nicely as well–I actually *want* a messed-up relationship in some way and therefore find irresistible this narcissist who ignores me and embarrasses me more often than not. So now I’m really confused at where borderlines fit into the PD world or if I’m misdiagnosed or what. It’s aggravating.
Thank you for your time in reading this and I look forward to your continuing content. 🙂
Hello Zielum,
I am pleased that my work has proven so useful to you.
I have made a note of your request re BPD.
Thank you!! ^_^
Are there any celebrities who are geyser empaths in order to get an example of one?
Hi Kel, I remember someone saying Emilia Clarke is a Geyser and HG saying that she is a very good example of a Geyser Empath.
Thank you Mommypino. I wasn’t a game of thrones fan but I did enjoy Me Before You way back when I saw it. I’ll have to look for Emilia’s interviews now so I can match her up to geyser.
You’re welcome Kel! I think that her character in Me Before You is a Geyser. I don’t think that her character in the GOT is a Geyser. I have seen some of her interviews and she is animated and really bubbly. Her histrionics is different from the type of histrionic that I saw some Ns like my Mr sister had. I think an N histrionic is more like Scarlett O’Hara type of histrionic where it’s very gratuitous and self-involved while a Geyser’s histrionics is more about being very expressive whether it’s expressing a silly joke or an observation about someone or expressing a reaction from someone or something.
Florence King said the difference between a Bitch and a Pill is a Bitch may have some grandeur to her–Scarlett does, after all, get her family through the War and Reconstruction.
A Pill is the definition of petty. If Suellen had given the “As God is my witness” speech, here is how King imagines it would go:
“Ah’m tahred of bein’ hungry all the tahme an’ not havin’ any nice clothes! Ahmma run upstairs to nah room, slam the door, an’ throw all mah hair ribbons on the floah! That’ll show yall!”
Haha so true Violetta. And I think that’s where the school of the narcissist comes into play. I think that Scarlett O’Hara is an Upper Less while Suellen was a Middle MR like my half sister. I personally find Lessers more likable and I like their fighting spirit. I just don’t want to be in their wrong side.
MommyPino, as someone with a strong Geyser minority, I agree with you, our ‘histrionics’ are about expressing, letting feelings out, articulating, sharing, etc.
It’s not a ‘Hey look at me, pay attention!” type behaviour and it’s difficult to control at times. I often catch myself sharing too much, for example, because I get carried away.
I agree EmP. Geyser is my majority. My husband couldn’t stand my sister’s histrionics and has avoided her when she lived with us. But with me he just finds my antics humorous and it doesn’t drain him like my sister did.
But HG, wouldn’t you agree that in a society which promotes egotism and (as you say) euphemises narcissistic behaviour, being an empath can be seen as a problem, a weakness? Maybe normals do not exploit you, narcissistic people do not exploit you to the degree a narcissist does, but they still ‘look down upon you’ – don’t you think? Glad you think Geyser Empaths are not damaged goods by the way!
Normals do not know what you are. Do they look down on you? I do not see that, normals are too focused on themselves and those in their immediate radius of EE.
Sorry what is EE?
Emotional Empathy.
Ah OK, thanks HG. Maybe the ones I’m thinking of are not normals. Or maybe I am just wrong.
EmP, once you master the skill of not caring what others think of you, it gives you complete freedom.
I remember in a consult with HG (if I’m permitted to say) I was a bit bothered about what two particular indivuals may have been thinking of me. I recall he said, “it doesn’t matter what they think, you’re better than that” or something to that effect.
Hearing HG say those words helped me massively, not just then but all the time.
Alexis, it’s really sweet of you to share that, thank you! I fluctuate between not caring and caring way too much. It’s annoying.
Got it, and I appreciate you clearing that up for me.
You are most welcome, Julesrh.
Mr Tudor
Is there such a thing as ‘a victim empath’, or is such a personality always a narcissist?
Thank you!
It is a victim cadre of narcissist. With regard to the description of an empath, they are a victim in terms of noun but not adjective.
Nicely put.
Thank you.
“It is a victim cadre of narcissist. With regard to the description of an empath, they are a victim in terms of noun but not adjective.”
Mr Tudor
I will explain more specific, a person who has learned to manipulate and has learned to get more attention, more care, benefits, more time for a task etc, by playing the victim card, is this possible to be an empath?
That resulted in my question: is there such a thing as ‘a victim empath’.
Is it possible that an empath has learned to benefit from a victim position?
Or, on the contrary, if someone is manipulating in that way he/she is always a narcissist?
Do you prefer I do this question in an e-mail consultation?
I need more information to establish context ZB, then I can identify the relevant prism through which to interpret the position correctly for you. An empath could behave in such a way, but it is far less likely, thus I need more information to make the assessment and invite you to undertake the email consultation, thank you.
HG 🙌
I snapped at the Psychopath everyday. I thought I was abusive and a Lesser Narcissist.
I’d say things like “I’ll knock your fucking teeth out” and “if I had a gun I’d shoot you”. He provoked me on purpose. I thought he was easy going and I was abusive. He laughed when I snapped. He really enjoyed it!
When he was really drunk he said to a girl “you’re gonna die of cancer” and his reason was that he probably thought it was me and he was trying to provoke me.
I didn’t snap at the Midrangers because they would have gotten angry at me. They didn’t like my Geyser behaviours, they liked my Carrier behaviours.
Ding dong!
This is SO me!
I could be ashamed but nope, I am in no way bothered to read about myself.
There is an odd stand out for me here though….while I do squeal with delight at others happy occasions, I do not flood with tears for their upsets. While I feel immense sorrow for them and would do absolutely anything required to fix it, I don’t gush with tears for them, as I’m far too busy trying to figure out a resolution for their woes.
All of my ‘melodramatic’ moments (it’s not though, it’s so absolutely genuine and straight from the heart (and I’m glad that this was recognised and perfectly explained)) are always given to the object of my affections in endless bursts of all and everything.
And yep! You f*cken bet we bounce back! I’m proud to be utterly unbreakable because while it may appear that we are broken, we are not, not for long anyway. We are realising that we weren’t strong enough as we were and so we had to fall apart at the seams, to be rebuilt stronger than we were before!
Why? For the absolute power of love!
How can you possibly understand the depth of us to this level? This makes it all the more obscene. If you know full well that we are so genuinely feeling of every single word said and unsaid and every single action made for us and against us, how can you hurt us so?
Feathers ruffled!
1. As I have explained previously, STBS, I am very clever, I observe and I listen. A war is won through preparation, preparation and preparation. One must know your enemy. I do.
2. We hurt you so because it is necessary from our perspective. It is not from yours, but that does not matter to us.
Why are we the enemy? Who ever started the war HG? That’s my question!
You did. It is always your fault, remember?
NO I like the love and not war concept! Fuck this is annoying!
Ha ha! You rogue, HG!
Lorelei
I’m not sure “Make love, not war” will cut it in this case, but “turn the other cheek” may have them turn elsewhere for fuel.
Desirée—I think you are right.
Lorelei
also, Empaths will repeatedly march into war without knowing their numbers. Doomed from the start.
Clearly.it doesnt matter if you hurt us you are a Narcissist for god’s sake .
HG
One of the very first things I learnt at your exquisitely turned knee, is that my kind and your kind are at war.
I wish it wasnt so but there it is.
My greatest wish is that Empaths realise this and act accordingly.
Reporting for duty, Ma’am!
Lisk
Excellent!
Yes, HG.
I can agree that preparation is the key to victory. Especially so, when one side is always moving the finishing line!!
God, it’s so frustrating!!
I think my former colleague was geyser empath. She was in an abusive relationship two times before she met her current boyfriend. She still believes in love. I did find her a bit melodramatic when i saw her crying at a goodbye party organized for colleagues that were going to leave the company.
AR
Possibly. She could just be excitable.
HG, was Elliot from ET the ultimate contagion empath?
No idea, never watched it although I know who he is, the child who is ET´s friend, yes? Rides a bike that flies.
The song by Katy Pery ET is a also a good song.
I hate that film but I’ve never understood why.
That is very informative but super discouraging!!
I think im a geyser empath. It’s not fun to be constantly overwhelmed by emotion. After “the one who doesn’t deserve a name” f-ed with my psyche, it’s worse than ever!!
Angel
Do the Empath Detector. You wont regret it.
Angel
It does not have to be discouraging, there are many benefits to being this way but in order to benefit, you have to rid yourself off of your narcissist. Being a Geyser is not the issue, being a narc-entangled Geyser is. Once you lower your ET, the waves will become much smoother.
I need to do the Empath Detector in the future .
I have noticed people come up to me to ask me a question .e.g. at the grocery store a lady asked me for the price of the chicken because she didn’t have her glasses . Then she started telling me her that her protein was low and the doctor told her to eat chicken .I listened and was nice to her. Thats one example
Lol! This happens to me a lot. B&Q, Tescos…Or I meet someone the 1st time and they tell me their life story. Warts and all. Overwhelms me sometimes. I like it though. I also would like to do the detector because Im really not sure what I am. The buggers sniff me out though x
Same with me . When I do take the train, there are so many seats available and they come and sit right beside me . Kind of creepy.
I would definitely recommend the Empath Detector. It cleared up quite a few questions for me.
Thank you Julesrh.
Welcome. Thanks so very much for your help!
HG, do empaths ever change schools or cadres as they work on healing their past wounds, traumas and unhealthy coping skills? Or, are they fixed like the narcissists? I’m specifically thinking about the codependent school and the geyser cadre. People can “recover” from codependency with the help of therapy, groups, and practicing things like setting boundaries, awareness of and actively limiting controlling behavior, and improved self-worth. Would this then affect school classification, or percentages in hybrids? Also, with geysers I would guess that at least some are so easily poked for fuel because they have open wounds from the past that have not been addressed. If those traumas are dealt with and healed, could their cadre or percentages change?
You are welcome.
1. They do not change schools or cadres, ever.
2. You do not heal past wounds. You may address traumas arising from abuse (see my conversation with Kel). You may stay away from unhealthy coping mechanisms.
3. You do not recover from being a codependent. You are a codependent but that does not mean you have to suffer the downside of being one.
4. You have no need to assert boundaries. It is pointless with us, you go no contact, so you do not need to assert a boundary because you are not interacting with us. You cannot assert a boundary successfully with a narcissist as we do not recognise them.
5. Geyser Empaths do not have open wounds from the past that have not been addressed. They are Geyser Empaths.
Those who are empaths are ONLY exploited by my kind. It is very simple – being an empath is not a problem. Being an empath WHEN ENSNARED WITH A NARCISSIST is a problem. What’s the solution? Stay away from the narcissists. GOSO.
Truer words were never spoken!
Thank you FM1T.
Being an empath IS a problem. Normals don’t have these issues.