The Narcissist Always Judges You
“Bring forth the next defendant,” my booming baritone declares from my elevated position. You find yourself being hauled and pushed by two of my lieutenants as the drag you up some stairs. The noise of a raucous crowd grows as you emerge blinking and anxious into the dock. Your eyes dart about the crowded courtroom as you look for recognisable faces but none are apparent. You see elements of familiarity, are those our friends and family, but they seem different in some way? You cannot quite work it out. You just see stroppy wax-like faces, mouths agape, a torrent of bilious noise raining down towards you, fingers jabbing the air, arms being waved frenetically. A seething mass of anticipation and disapproval. The crack of a gavel being wielded cuts through the cacophony and all eyes turn, including your own to me as I sit across and above from you. Attired in judicial robes in accordance with my status, I stare at you, eyes narrowed and you shrink back under this unwavering gaze.
“Well,” I announce, “What have you got to say for yourself?”
You frown, puzzled by this question. You do not even know why you are here. You cannot think straight as there is a throbbing sensation in the middle of your brow and a sickness rising and falling in your stomach. Your shaking hands grasp the rail of the dock but you remain silent.
“I said,” I declare in a louder voice, “what have you got to say for yourself?”
The assembled crowd begin to chant.
“What? What? What? What?”
The noise increases as those who have crammed into the courtroom lean forward creating walls of sneering and sardonic faces all around you. The galleries are packed with eager voyeurs and the noise cascades down on to you. The gavel once again interrupts the crowd and a hush descends. There is an air of expectancy as I and the crowd wait for you to speak. You feel a jab in your side as one of the lieutenants elbows you, a savage prompt for you to talk.
“I don’t understand why I am here,” you say. Your voice sounds weak and quiet but it is apparent that everyone has heard you as there is a collective intake of breath and then you hear the intermittent remarks thrown towards you.
“Idiot!”
“Shameful!”
“So disrespectful!”
“Fool!”
Your eyes go back to me and you see me draw myself up bristling with indignity.
“You don’t understand?” I boom. The crowd start to jabber.
“She doesn’t understand!” “She doesn’t understand!”
“Such impertinence, you should know why you are here,” I declare pointing the gavel at you. The noise of the crowd subsides a they crane forward to hear what you have to say.
“No, I don’t understand.”
“Well you ought to understand and you ought to be addressing me properly,” I continue.
“Sorry?”
“Ah you are sorry are you? What are you sorry for?” I ask seizing on your reply.
“Er I meant I didn’t understand what you meant.”
“Ah, yet another lack of understanding,” I announce to the sound of tutting from the crowd. You can see heads shaking all around you.
“Are you an idiot? A fool? A simpleton?” I ask.
“Certainly not.”
“Certainly not, my lord,” I reply with a smile which bears no warmth.
You frown still unsure what on earth you are doing in this place and who all these people are and most of all why is it that I am sat as a judge presiding over you. I give you an encouraging look. You look left and right feeling uncertain before you speak again.
“Certainly not, my lord.”
“At last some progress,” I say. The crowd nod in approval.
“So, I shall ask you again, what have you got to say for yourself?”
“I do not understand why I am here,” I raise my eyebrows in expectation, “my lord.”
“Well you should!” I explode in a sudden rage.
“Yes you should, yes you should,” repeats the crowd.
“Why am I here?” you say but your question is drowned out by the noise.
“A week of silent treatment,” I announce and slam the gavel down with a loud crack.
“What for?” you cry puzzled and alarmed. There is gasp from the crowd at your question.
“Two weeks for such impertinence,” I add.
“This is not fair.”
“Three weeks for challenging our authority,” I announce.
“You cannot judge me, this is ridiculous, I don’t even know why I am here, I do not know what I am accused of.”
“Three weeks of silent treatment and a dose of triangulation with a replacement of our choosing,” I cry with a gleeful look in my eyes.
“You cannot do this,” you assert.
“What?” I roar, “I can do as I please.”
“This must be against the law; this is not right.”
“I am the law!” I roar.
“Surely you should tell me what I have done?”
“I should not have to do anything that you say, I am the judge.”
“Then what about the jury, surely they should decide whether I am guilty or not, whatever it is I am accused of.”
I look reflective for a moment.
“Yes, you have a point, very well, I shall allow it,” I decree in a magnanimous tone, “never let it be said that this court is unfair. Ask the jury.”
I point towards the jurors sat on the right hand side and you notice them for the first time. They are all staring at you. In actual fact you see my face twelve times staring at you.
“Guilty!” announces the first juror.
“Wait, I haven’t even asked you what I am guilty of yet!” you protest.
“Guilty!” cries the second juror.
“Guilty!” shouts the third.
You shake your heard utterly bewildered by the announcement of these verdicts.
“This is preposterous, no charge has been read out to me, I have not entered a plea and there should be a trial. This is a joke!” you cry.
“Six months of gas lighting to run consecutively to the earlier sentence!” I holler above the braying of the crowd.
“This isn’t fair.”
The pronouncements of guilt continue to ring out as the crowd chant “Guilty, guilty, guilty!” at you.
A man leans into the dock from behind you, he thrusts a microphone under your nose.
“Hello, Ian Sim from the Daily Smear, how do you feel?”
“What?” you reply backing away as another microphone appears.
“Hello, Mark Mywords from the Global Liar, what’s it like to be such a horrible person?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Hi, Ivor Stain from Channel Bias, do you think you can cope with this sentence?”
“May Day from Bad News, did your family make you do it?”
More faces lean into the dock, jostling with one another as questions are hurled at you. The crowd’s noisiness continues as its members drive one another into a frenzy. You see my face times twelve as the jurors leap up and down, hooting and laughing as they point and continue to yell “guilty” in your direction. Through it all you can hear my baritone as more and more punishments are added to the already burgeoning list and your head swims with the barrage of sounds. Faces blur, nausea sweeps across you and your heart hammers in your chest. You feel hot, you feel faint and arms grab you from either side and pull you along the dock.
“What’s happening, I don’t understand, what I am supposed to have done?” you murmur.
“Don’t worry,” says a calm voice and you turn your head to see an elegant lady stood next to you, the lieutenants who were once there having disappeared. Who is this woman? Where has she come from? You have never seen her before.
“Don’t worry,” she repeats, “I will take care of him for you,” she smiles and promptly lets you go. She strides from the dock towards me as you teeter at the top of the stairs, the darkness of the cells somewhere beneath you and then you topple forward and crash into the chasm below.
93 thoughts on “The Narcissist Always Judges You”
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Most narcissists seem so self-assured and powerful. I’ve spotted one which is confusing: a male somatic narcissist coupled with a female who publicly bullies him (swearing, drunk outbursts, even publicly confrontational without alcohol). She doesn’t seem empathic! Since a somatic narc is all about appearances, and all narcs feel entitlement, why would a somatic narc put up with public humiliation/verbal abuse over a period of years? Aren’t residual benefits replaceable?
I suspect this is an instance of when narcissists collide.
Great metaphorical story of what happens. And the sentences were exactly what Narcs sentence Victims with. Great article!
An outstanding article, Your Honour.
The Narc Law is perplexed and the sentences imposed are
harsh and unjust actually.
Wow! That sounds so familiar! Judged without being given an opportunity for a fair trial( no clarity, no explanation, nothing)…it’s ridiculous and certainly unfair, but that’s exactly how it is being played out.
One of my red flags for narcissists is when they always make fun or judge strangers.
One of the things that my dad didn’t like about my MRE half sister is that whenever we ate at a restaurant she would make fun of the other customers. She made fun of how a woman’s bra is out of shape and it was giving the woman’s breasts a weird silhouette, or make fun at the print of a guy’s shirt, or get grossed out at the way a guy ate his salad, or make fun at the woman’s lipstick that was not applied correctly. She would whisper to me or to our dad and sometimes it is embarrassing because that person noticed us looking at them. My dad said that it was really bad table manners to do that and he couldn’t understand why it was enjoyable for her to keep making fun of other people that she didn’t know instead of just enjoying herself and time with us. I agree with him. I think that normal people do that sometimes and I have done that in my lifetime but when it seems to be a frequent habit with someone I check a red flag mark on that person.
Very true MP! Great observation and the ability to recognize a red flag! Thank you for sharing. I’ve noticed this specific behavior on this blog as well, mainly on the recent drama thread smh I am sure you know what I mean…
Indeed Esther I know what you mean. I have been noticing this behavior in other threads as well from the same commenter. Normal people don’t pay attention to the silliest things about other people to mock them and make fun of them.
Exactly!
You are right MP!
Also Esther, since you’re new here, I want to let you know that HG advices us to not give out our real identities to anyone here no matter how nice they seem. Before you know it you could get a text message from that person threatening a cease and desist order even though you didn’t do anything illegal or bad and just merely expressing your opinions in a blog. Intimidation is another tool of narcissists.
Let HG be clear.
1. This blog is moderated for YOUR benefit. This enables me to remove people’s surnames where they inadvertently include them (some people have no issue with their full name being displayed, if so, that is a matter for them but most people do not and I intervene.) It enables me to remove the comments of narcissists who occasionally crop up here (although I allow them some “air time” as a learning experience for readers).
2. I have consistently warned against contacting other people from the blog, off blog. That is why you are not allowed to exchange contact details on the blog or through me. There are three reasons for this
a. This is not a dating site or a friendship finding site, I have enough to do without handling such introductions,
b. It is to avoid any potential issues that would impact on my work,
c. It is to protect you. Narcissists do present on the blog. Very, very rarely THE narcissist of a victim appears here and makes his presence known. I stamp that out very quickly. If a narcissist appears, they are unconnected to the victims however they will, if given the chance, seek to contact people off the blog and where people have not followed my strict observation about not doing so, guess what? It ends in tears. I have had several people contact me stating “You were right HG”, “I should have listened to you HG”. Do not engage with people from the blog elsewhere. I know a small number of people have done this through Instagram (I cannot prevent this merely advise against it) and each time it has resulted in problems. My inbox bears the evidence of people who come running to me with tales of woe about what has happened and of course I reach for the big rubber stamp which reads “Told you so.” In instances of off blog contact where no narcissist is involved, you are still becoming involved with people you do not know properly. Furthermore, you end up increasing your emotional thinking because you end up talking about your narcissists in an environment which is not one governed by logic (i.e. away from the blog) and you are interacting in some form with the narcissist and getting impaled on The Narcissist´s Pitchfork. Keep it on the blog, it is a safe environment and one where you learn the best information from the best teacher.
Thank you HG. It is a very logical and sound advice that is best followed.
By the way Esther, I don’t know if you’re here in US. If you are, Happy Thanksgiving!🦃
MommyPino, I just read your comment( I wasn’t subscribed to the comments). thank you for the advice, I appreciate it!
I haven’t done so when It comes to giving out my real identity here.
Thanks HG for the clarification as well!
You’re welcome Esthe!
It’s also unhealthy to hijack threads and play the victim over months old issues..
Lorelei
Correct and it speaks volumes about an individual’s character.
K—I’m trying to bite my tongue. In my case it’s not really an idiom to bite my tongue.
Lorelei
Ha ha ha…bite down hard; don’t engage. I noticed an interesting contradiction between a response directed at you on Why Does the Narcissist Seem So Odd and a comment on “Dick Pics”. That, too, speaks volumes!
It speaks volume that you can’t tell the difference between a sarcastic statement (Why the Narcissist Seems Odd) from a sincere advice to someone that I was trying to help (Dick Pics). It demonstrates your inability to use common sense and logical thinking when it comes to the people you hate.
She’s biting her tongue because she doesn’t have anything to hit me with. I am exactly the same person in real life as I demonstrate myself here. She knows that because she used to be one of my Facebook friends and we used to exchange text messages.
I didn’t see the comment but I’m sure my sex addiction seems amenable to having a plethora of degrading porn on my phone—I don’t even find the word “dick” to be appealing unless it refers to a person in traffic.
Lorelei
Don’t bother with it; it’s just more of the same old victim mentality drivel.
K—it makes me want to be even more accountable. I have the baton in my hand moving forward. What happened in the past is done, I’m constantly trying to improve and it is not serving my initiative well to dwell overly long on “stuff.” I’m not saying people don’t have their own genuine experiences—but mine is all I can remedy. I have my energy and cognition back—it would be silly to piss it away.
Lorelei
Good for you; that’s logical thinking. Manipulators love to adopt the victim role, by not taking accountability for their bahviour, so they can garner pity or sympathy from others. It’s best to move forward rather than waste time dwelling on trivia.
Being accountable is being able to own up to your mistakes and be decent enough to apologize when you have maliciously called someone a liar, a manipulator and a narcissist or a spineless idiot or tell a person that she needs to google integrity because she doesn’t have integrity (and not deny it or gaslight it when her eruption was pointed out). Being accounts is having a willingness to reflect on the experience of the person you attacked and think that maybe you were indeed too cruel and maybe you were indeed wrong. Being accountable is not cherry picking on when the Empath Detector test results is credible and being able to admit that you were wrong when you wrongfully called someone a narcissist despite them being an empath according to the Empath Detector test. You have a lot to learn about what being accountable means K.
K—did I ever tell you about her medicine woman last year that wanted me to walk outside barefoot in the winter to recover from abuse? I even wear socks in my house. It makes me laugh to think of how bewildered I was! She dislikes HG too and wouldn’t send me something after I mentioned him. Twice I requested it and it wasn’t an accident—she was passive aggressive. But hey—she’s barefoot!
Lorelei
Hahahah….there’s no shortage of loonies. Why am I not surprised that she dislikes HG; “therapists” and moderators seem to feel very threatened by him, which reflects poorly on them. Keep your socks on and stay the hell away from the barefoot medicine woman.
I can’t do barefoot in 30 degree weather! Nonsense. I don’t do it nearly ever! She treated me like I had leprosy. As Renarde recently said, she can “Fuck. Right. Off!”
Lorelei
hahahah…Renarde is a riot!
Renarde is! Fuck. Right. Off.!!
Lorelei
Hear! hear!
I’m back—I was hanging mirrors and wall stuff. I may fix a commode.
Today it’s Back On The Chain Gang by the Pretenders.
Lorelei
Hahaha…that’s a good song.
K—I was woken up by my 10-year-olds school telling me he was playing swords with his pencil. How F*^^%% stupid. No one cares. Haha—I need a word for my aggravation.
Lorelei
Word of the day: Vex.
Something vexes thee?* He’s supposed to play swords with his pencil he’s ten and it’s completely normal!
*Quote from the film Robin Hood.
Very good K! I was truly underwhelmed by such a stupid phone call. I fail to pay heed to a teacher that sounds 12-years-old telling me about something idiotic.
My pleasure Lorelei
Ignore the silliness and carry on.
K—today’s phrase/word is anything related to being or not being in a state of connubial bliss. There is no such sustained state with a narcissist.
Lorelei
Word of the day: Uxorious.
The narcissist is only charmingly uxorious during the Golden Period or a Respite Phase.
Oh that is good K. Very good. How about a word and an idiom. “HG is the bulwark that keeps us from making bricks without straw in our defenses..”
*I linked that together somewhat poorly. I’m writing an academic paper and my brain is weary.
—We shouldn’t give him too much credit. He was already discussing how handsome he fancies himself to be on here within one thread.
You can never give me too much credit.
Do you know the story of the Egyptians/Israelites —and the straw and brick? I feel there were narcissists involved in the whole damn thing.
We are everywhere.
Thank you Lorelei
Hahahaha…you get an A for effort! Yes, I’ve read that tread; today HG’s Brutal Yet Beautiful.
Hi K. I’m late to the party today. I got called in to work last night and I’m beat. The word for the day is profligate. “The narcissist profligates..” Just what does the narcissist profligate? They all fuck everyone over in some way. Take your pick!!
The idiom is unrelated to an often hedonistic lifestyle of those who profligate. (🤷🏼♀️) I like it though. Narcissists often speak tongue in cheek. They don’t know they are insincere though as their behavior is instinctively designed to fool even them! “A parsimonious narcissist spoke tongue in cheek when promising a handsome bonus.” There is actually a contrast today between our word of the day and the idiom if you think poetically about it all!
Lorelei
Hahahaha…their behavior is instinctively designed to protect them and the parsimonious narcissist was future faking because of his unconscious need for fuel.
Here are two good sentences with the word of the day: Profligate.
3. The Spender
The joint credit card which bears the hammering of our profligate spending will be attributed to you.
https://narcsite.com/2018/05/11/getting-smeared-and-how-to-deal-with-it-5/
HG Tudor says:
June 16, 2017 at 10:19
Yes money is another tool of manipulation. Your resources are our resources and this of course includes money. Not only will we use our financial muscle to seduce you, we will then use it to devalue you which will include not supporting you, painting a picture of your being useless with money, a gold-digger or profligate. We will steal, siphon funds away, divert profits, hide assets, asset strip and so forth since we have such a sense of entitlement and no concept of accountability.
https://narcsite.com/2016/08/14/5-reasons-we-discard-you/comment-page-1/
Oh K—I just loved the financial abuse that I had to make up for. Oh, I emptied out two retirement accounts to compensate for his madness. I especially loved the email telling me he bankrupted which was received while I was pregnant with our son. The “I love you” was extra sweet at the end after declaring all his stocks were worthless and he even issued a pity ploy that he was so sick over it and not eating. It was a darling move on his part. Un-fucking-believably-stupid. If I could rewind I’d allow him to have starved to death. What a worthless piece of flesh.
Lorelei
Your comment read like The Nightmare Before Christmas; I am so sorry you went through that. Un-fucking-believably-stupid is an understatement. When I think of the wasted money and resources (financial abuse) it makes me cringe and you were left holding the bag and you were pregnant to boot, ouch!!! Honestly, NPD abuse is an absolute nightmare across the board.
You know what K—I went back to work full time and managed. We do what we have to. I’ve also learned how to increase my income since he left and did so with barely enough energy to get a shower. My dad squandered large sums of money as well. One time he (my dad) ordered tens of thousands of dollars in silver and had it delivered to my parents home at the time. It was bananas. Batshit crazy. Magical thinking. It’s no wonder I’ve been buried. I’ve been around nut bags my entire life. I swear if someone even looks at me cross-eyed I’m out the door.
K—looking at HG’s discussion on money again. My ex spouse also said the issue was that I overspent. There was no recognition of his high six figure loss. That was why I drained a few of MY retirement accounts! Uh no—I was not. Also, if I had wouldn’t that be the pot calling the kettle black!? See—another idiom for the day!
Lorelei
What six figure loss?!? Surely, you are imagining things again! How dare you buy yourself some knickers and get a haircut! You irresponsible spendthrift; it’s all YOUR fault!
They really don’t do accountability. He is whiter than white and you are the blacker than black kettle.
Hilariously I was so out of it at one point there was absolutely no hair cut for like 9 months. I was in a pony tail flat on my ass. Asshole.
Lorelei
hahahaha…I remember your father’s silver collection/investment. Hahahaha… My mother collected dolls that nobody wanted. We grew up with crazy, from our POV.
Claire says:
June 22, 2019 at 21:14
K—I thought of you a few hours ago.. Short story—funeral today for my mom’s sister. Just us in the car and talking. I was bitching about ex’s gambling history, the financial mess he had been. (Whining essentially—not looking for pity but just escalating my emotional thinking—all the crap I do..) She doesn’t realize my dad was a narcissist. Come to find out—he also gambled away heavy six figures in stocks/dumb investments! Gawd! I freaking married my dad. These two men—educated, pay their bills and lose lots of money in pursuit of narcissist nonsense. My mom said, “I always wanted to slap the shit out of him!”
I asked how he responded to her upset—he blew her off. Then the story I’d forgotten about came up. He ordered enough silver from a company in California that it arrived in many boxes one time and it was worth half the value of their modest home. He died and she was stuck with boxes of silver! I’d forgotten but my brother had to deal with it.
These guys are as predictable as gorillas scratching their arm pits. How dumb.
https://narcsite.com/2019/06/18/the-house-of-tudor/
Hilarious that you found this comment K! Yes! There were boxes of the shit in the basement and yes he gambled in stocks too. Ridiculously. My poor mother was beside herself over the silver. As a family there are chuckles about “grandpa’s antics.” For me it is softer now having this awareness and great sadness because there is a genuine disconnect now when I think of a “father.” He was an abuser who caused great pain. Yes, they are humorous at times but the pain outweighs the amusement and good deeds for those impacted. It makes me emotional and that is one place I’m stuck currently. I thought I could come to narcissist school and be out fast! It gets more complicated than that. Certainly not for everyone but I started out pretty deeply embedded.
I recall the doll collection. It is quite interesting to look back with a renewed understanding. My dad also bought jewelry endlessly for “investment” purposes. He also dabbled in television evangelist viewing and collected over 200 firearms in his collection at one time. I know as he made a list at one point. He was very excessive about things. No boundary or ability to see what was unusual to an outside observer. I’m finding that I just buried the weird and am only now like WTF.
Lorelei
The bad pain usually outweighs the good in relationships with narcissists. It is very complicated and it takes longer to work through our emotions than we initially thought it would. I had no intention of ever posting on narcsite but I did and I am still working on understanding and maintaining my ET. You will have to wade through the ugly for a while until you are ready to let it go. There is no rush; it’s a process and it’s incremental. There will be sadness for the loss of what you never really had to begin with. Sounds crazy, but everything was predicated on an illusion. Welcome to the WTF Just Happened Club!
Hi K. It’s been interesting for sure. Let me see if I got this shit show straight.. The narcissist will cause issues if I do anything but ignore him/her so they escape all consequence forever more. We simply walk away. The cessation of fuel is the best revenge. And I’m a dangerous narcissist. Do we have this down? Haha. Fuck this has been a crap crash course in a hundred shades of crazy. And I’m a narcissist so don’t forget. Very dangerous and cunning.
Lorelei
1. Yes, narcissists escape all consequences. One exception: jail, but they would blame shift their actions away.
2. Yes, escape and go NC; cessation of fuel and control is the best revenge.
3. Hahahaha…no, you are not a dangerous or cunning narcissist; you are an empath. Welcome to The E Club!
K—I’ve wanted gummy worms or Swedish fish candy all night and all there is around my current situation are peanuts with chocolate chunks. I need some sympathy. We don’t even real potato chips in this place. They are all baked. It is F***^^#% horrible!
Lorelei
Hahahaha…WTF! Baked potato chips?!! You have my deepest sympathies.
I was desperate and as soon as I was free I went to the closest gas station and bought watermelon sour patch kids. Two bags. I’ll have diabetes by the noon hour! I won’t want to do it again for awhile—it’s about every 3 months I need mass sugar.
I ran into my ex and his lovely Miss at the store today K. I was initially irritated until I looked at her. First time I’ve seen her. She looks so bad K that I’m sending the flowers I bought myself with the kids to give her. (From them) She looks like she is under complete control. She looks tired, hungover, hardly dressed in a reasonable manner, it’s so pathetic what this piece of shit does to people. I guess I’m back to the angry drawing board. I’ve despised her for her behavior in front of my children, but she is so lost looking it’s clear she has absolutely little concept of how to navigate life. I can’t believe it was even this bad compared to how unfortunate the social media blitz her life has been. Unbelievable.
Lorelei
Well, there’s your empathic trait of compassion coming to the fore. I hope she enjoys the flowers because she is gonna need some comfort this Christmas. Narcissists can suck the life right out of you faster than you can say Timbuktu and Constantinople! Merry Christmas!
It won’t take much to push her over the cliff K. She was at the edge when he sucked her in.
Lorelei
It’s brutal and I feel bad for her.
It is brutal, but don’t mistake my moment of pity for weakness. She has no business near my children for many reasons which include her own legal foibles/DWI’s. It has been a stressor—my ex has had a substantial social decline and with it accompanies “this” mess. Have a great day K. Merry Christmas!
Lorelei
I don’t think your compassion is weakness in this instance, just empathy for her and what she is going through. Your comment reminds me of: Have You Seen Who He is With?
Legal foibles/DWIs are not a good sign. Sounds like a mess all right! Keep the children safe.
Enjoy the day with your family, Merry Christmas Lorelei!
Oh my—when I first read that I felt it was written for me. Yesterday was an unbelievable sight to behold—it was no longer humorous but incredibly sad. I don’t find an obvious drinking problem to be funny anymore when it crosses the line from high jinks from looking like a person is dying inside out. 💕
Lorelei
It’s not funny at all; it is heartbreakingly sad.
K—I have a few pictures of myself trying to blunder through the days when I was drinking a lot to cope. The look is unmistakable and while I can drink occasionally now I rarely do because the monkey is off my back. I think in this case there is genuine (not circumstantial) alcoholism and it will either progress or shape shift into a further platform for devaluation. I think most people would say it’s not my concern—but it is to the extent that I’m having to consider this individual as present in the children’s lives. My 10-year-old son can’t defend himself against an adult driving intoxicated for instance. To be honest—I’m ashamed of my ex-husband for being so pathetic that he would prey upon someone so ill to get his sick needs met. I know many narcissists with standards, in fact, some in my life who have expressed dismay over this obvious feeding frenzy of someone that can’t fight back. I know it increases my ET but it’s simply where I am. I am much better most days indeed, but I’m not on the island yet.
Lorelei
It is very concerning. My father’s third wife drove drunk with me, my twin and her children in the car and she would pick up hitchhikers, to boot.
He’s a bully who preys on kids and now very weak women. I have taken note. Any opportunity I get I won’t ignore to ignore him and exploit him.
The word for the day K is obsequious. Idiom is embedded.. Narcissists prefer obsequious appliances because keeping two strings in one’s bow can be tiring for them unless they have the energy level of a greater! Clear as mud?
Lorelei
Crystal clear!
“However, do not become obsequious or over the top in your praise or compliments, because this will either cause us to sense more fuel is on offer or we will regard you as taking the piss and this will be Challenge Fuel.”
https://narcsite.com/2017/07/28/how-to-make-a-request-to-a-narcissist/
Nice K! So, being overly obsequious may be regarded as insincere and create a platform for their ridiculous tirades!
Lorelei
Hahahaha…they know if you are taking the piss and then it becomes Challenge Fuel.
Today we are doing two embedded idioms K. Or I am! I slept for like ten hours for once in my life so I’m ambitious today. “His lack of ability to bring home the bacon shot down any dream of castles in the air.” Funny though that my castles weren’t his castles. His were magically thinking the stock market would favor a common moron & elevate his false superiority, mine were to send the children to the best schools. I feel rested enough today to finally remove all trace of him from family albums. I’m away from home but it’s a task I’m up to. He doesn’t belong there because it was never a family but a rostrum for his sub-par behavioral spectacle.
Lorelei
Castles in the air…I like it. I didn’t get a hit on narcsite, however, Google pulled up the lyrics for Castles in the Air by Don McLean.
Your castles are made of stone, grounded in reality, and can stand the test of time; his castles were made of shifting sands and grandiosity. Everything is just a stage for the narcissist and he is the star in his solipsistic (extreme egocentrism) world.
Getting rid of photos from the family album (ever presence) means you are getting better and moving forward. That’s a big step in the right direction, keep it up.
Yes K—I struggle with the kids wanting some but on the other hand it can be his responsibility to furnish such horse shit! I’m under zero obligation to paint a pretty picture of what was never pretty.
Lorelei
Choose reality over fantasy every time; it makes things easier in the long-run.
Good point. It’s hard—but they need removed. The wedding pics are in a box, that one is harder for the girls I think. Maybe I should ask them.
Lorelei
Removing photos from the family album is difficult; I did it too. Take your time. It took me a couple of days to do it and I put them all into recycling.
MP, your point is valid. I’ve noticed lack of accountability as well. The person never ones apologized for her aggressive/ rude behavior towards other readers, including myself. I believe it’s a red flag.
And her constant hijacking of threads. It seems you feed off of drama K. I have no respect for your type K(kkk) to be quite honest. Notice who has started the attack on this thread again. MP just made a comment and you came running eager to throw the accusations on her. I haven’t seen her doing this once to you, yet you’ve exerted this same behavior towards different commenters and on multiple occasions. It’s obvious you create drama on purpose. Cut the bs would you? It gets old!
Thank you Esther. Your observations are spot on. I’m just fascinated at the juvenile behavior. It’s funny how they think they are affecting me at all when all that they’re doing is demonstrate how juvenile they are. Passive aggressive indeed Esther. And yes, you are owed an apology but we know it will never happen. 😉. Thank you again Esther for speaking up. ❤️
Esther, I have another comment for you waiting in moderation. Anyway, I am unsubscribing from this thread as there is no point to staying here when Lorelei and K has hijacked this without wanting to interact with me and to just post boring none sense and passive aggressive stuff. They can follow me around to the other threads like my little fans if they want to. 😎. For someone who doesn’t like me they sure like to hang around with me lol. And don’t worry Esther, I’m not afraid of the threat to a cease and desist letter from her attorney. I didn’t do anything bad or illegal to her and she has no evidence of that. I’m not that kind of person. I would admit it got me worried at first if I have to find a lawyer so I asked around for opinions and showed the text message from the loonie and they said that there is no grounds for one and they all said that that behavior was weird.
Thank you MP! ❣️🙂 agreed! Like HG likes to say the behavior speaks for itself. See you on another thread. )
Yes MommyPino, I am in AZ. Was hoping to get some snow like the east cost been getting hit with, but it’s totally not happening here lol. Thank you!! Since it’s a thanksgiving I guess I ought to say what I am thankful for. On this blog, I am thankful for people like you who stand up for for What they believe! And for HG of cours lol😁Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!! ☺️🦃🍁🌺🍁
Thank you Esther. 💕
Mommy Pino:
This is normal behavior–in middle school.
I think some narcs peak then. For my Bestest Frenemy, it was all downhill after that.
Indeed that was like my MRE sister. She was very intelligent but her emotional quotient seemed to have gotten arrested at middle school age. She was always so needy and high maintenance too.
All of my friendships with narcissists go downhill. I realize in my whole lifetime, from grade school, high school, college, and life here in the US, all of the friends that I have accumulated will not exceed ten. And they are all empathic and people that I genuinely like.
Wow… a perfect description of the sentencing for the “crimes”. Ignorance of your crimes is inexcusable in the narcissist’s mind. If only I had discovered you sooner… so much fuel wasted…
You deserved that fuel much more than him HG.
My daily dose of your insight keeps me focused and allows my logical thinking to get stronger. When I get weak, I listen to you and stay firm in my no contact.
Sending my love and fuel… and a big hug tonight.
Excellent post and timing thereof. Thank you.