Parasite
You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself.
You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence and my esteemed connections.
I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me? The opportunity to move in circles that you had never experienced before. The chance to be somebody. The time to clamber upwards from the tedious life you led and the doldrums in which you festered.
I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to be a part of that world. You certainly did become part of that world as well. You enjoyed my extraordinary largesse as you accepted my gifts, my invitations and my cold hard cash. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places.
You were granted access all areas. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being.
I allowed your friends and family to become part of my entourage, they certainly had no qualms about getting on the gravy train did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places once again.
You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were always only ever my friends. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.
Is it little wonder that my irritation became annoyance? That my annoyance became fury? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I had to stop this. I had to find someone who would give rather than take and that meant I had to be rid of you. That is why I chose someone else to escape your leeching and draining behaviour. That is why I cast you aside. You are a parasite.
You fed off me and I am sick with it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my goodness, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am the kind and caring person that I pride myself on being, I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to destroy me. You cannot deny this is what you are.
The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my compassion, my attractiveness, my empathic manner with people and how they respond to such kindness and love and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted all of that for yourself. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my gushing compassion, my reflective presence as my emotional nature. I do not blame you for wanting to be with me, who would not when they are a creature like you?
Who would not want such to erode me slice by slice? The opportunity to move yet again in circles that you had experienced before. The chance to be make yourself feel like somebody for once. The time to clamber upwards from the empty life you lead and the chasm which threatens to engulf you. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to make me part of you by swallowing me up.
You certainly did make me become part of you as I struggle to remember most days who I am and what I was before I met you. You enjoyed my extraordinary love as you accepted my attentiveness, my invitation into my heart and my warm, loving nature. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas to who I was and you saw no reason to ever respect my identity.
You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised and even when you began to abuse me, I never wavered from that. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed my friends and family to become part of your facade, they certainly had no qualms about forgetting me following your smear campaigns did they?
You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places in side my soul once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were my friends until you banished them. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking.
Is it little wonder that my confusion became despair? That my despair became desperation? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I need to find a way to stop this, but I can’t seem to. You won’t stop. I have to find someone who will give rather than take and that means I need to be rid of you.
I know this has to happen but I feel I cannot escape you, you have drained and leeched from me to such an extent that I am barely able to think and function. That is why I need to cast you aside but how can I when you will not let me go and you will not stop causing me to love you. You are a parasite.
Who is the parasite. You, me or both of us?
The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other.
Who is the parasite?
21 thoughts on “Parasite”
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Wow! Great post, HG!
HE is the parasite! Sucked me dry.
He sees myself and our children as parasites. Resentful for supporting HIS FAMILY! What a fucked up human being!
In the dating phase, I didn’t chase him, he chased me. He rushed me into marriage. It didn’t feel right at the time, I ignored my gut feeling. His mask slipped soon after. After reading here I see that’s a typical narc ploy.
He and his stepford wife are both parasites. He offered his help and support to me voluntarily. I never demanded anything from him.
Same here. I never even asked. Yet still, Narcx’s help-support-ALL-THAT-I’VE-DONE-FOR-YOU got (and will get, no doubt) thrown in my face.
Good thing is: I will not respond to the throwing anymore.
AR,
I have to ask , why do you call his wife a “ stepford wife” ? Why do you call her a parasite? Do you know her personally, or just get your information from the narc? I’ll tell you, my narc told his OW some very disturbing lies about me, but don’t they all from what I read here?
As the long term wife of a narc I can tell you that I never asked for his help or support before marriage, but when you’re married help and support from your spouse is expected. Support emotionally, and financially. Raising children is expensive, and it involves a lot more than $$$ . Being a stay at home Mother to 5 children was no walk in the park . I raised them myself, my narc did little to NOTHING to help me with them . I never complained, because he was the breadwinner.
No man should be resentful for supporting HIS family. If they didn’t want a family, they never should have gotten married.
I sure as hell was never a stepford Wife , ask my narc , he’d agree on that . I may well never have complained about monetary things the course of my marriage, but I certainly had plenty to say over the years regarding his behavior, especially when our children were involved. If he had done anything to mess with our children he knew damn well I wouldn’t have thought twice about throwing him out. Our children was always my line in the sand.
HG, am I right with my observations about the dynamics between narcissist and the IPPS?
I noticed, in the first stage, when narcissist targets you and they start love bombing you, they are mirroring you by showing they have same interests, if you like cycling, the become cyclist or pretend to be, if you like band X, they claim they love their every song, if you like opera, they take you to the opera, if you are a lawyer, law becomes their hobby. They steal your identity, they do it to make you like them and cause this “soul mate effect”.
But when they get you, when you fall deeply in love, the power slowly shifts – it is you who mirror them. Suddenly it is all about their interests, their job, their achievements. Maybe it is not done in harsh devaluation manner in the beginning, maybe they do not devalue your interests claiming it is trash, but you may notice that their interest in your hobbies slowly vanishes, instead you start going to places he likes, you start seeing movies he likes, if he is a fan of a particular footbal team, you become obssesive fan of them, knowing every player and their statistics.
Step by step you start losing yourself in the whole process, you forget about your initial interestets, about your friends, your dreams, it is only about what he likes. You become needy and clingy, wanting him to see how you support them, how you love his hobbies, job, friends, his lifestyle.
Is it the moment when narcissists start getting bored a little bit and stop seeing you as a challenge?
Your middle three paragraphs are accurate.
I am not sure what you are referring to when you ask “Is it the moment” what are you referring to as “it”. If you mean, why does devaluation occur, then with the IPPS this is covered in the article The 5 Reasons We Devalue You.
HG, I really like the way you described the two different perspectives. We really see the world differently from the Narcissist.
Thank you.
My pleasure HG!
This is why I’ve always been uncomfortable with a man giving me anything, because I would rather DIE!!! than have a man run up his gums telling me “if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be where you are today” and it be true! Hell no!
I agree with you Witch ,but Narcissist have a way with words and will try and snatch an Empath when they can. HG says they can sniff us out. The problem is we dont see then coming. We just need to always be on the alert!
Staying here with HG and the rest of us Pati will soon have you seeing them coming, and if that doesn’t work, HG has many assistance packages that will! 🙃
I see them coming alright thanks to HG!
That a girl Pati. 🙃
Awwww thank you FM1T !
You’re welcome Pati. 🥰
💯 with you on this one Witch!
the photo looks like a character from tokyo ghoul, i love it !
I was boo hoo-ing as I read each paragraph. I have had my share of male parasites and learned my lessons. For as long as I am healthy with 10 fingers/10 toes, 2 arms/2 legs, healthy organs and a clear head — I have taken a vow that I will continue with my journey with my own luggage of life.
Wow! HG, this Is absolutely fantastic! You nailed it. Who was the parasite? Was is you? Was it me? Was it both of us? This is my favorite of yours thus far. I’m going to print it and keep it. With your permission of course. WOW. You are a stud.
I’ve left
You need me
I don’t need you