HG Interview
I was recently interviewed by Charles Bowes-Taylor, a South African host of his own site about narcissism. Charles posed some thoughtful questions and you can listen to the interview by using this link
223 thoughts on “HG Interview”
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Just finished listening to HGs interview and so many interesting points brought up.
The spiritual aspect i do think plays a part but not fully. I think if a family lacks spirituality growing up narcissism is more likely. That said there are strict religious families that have a lot of narcissism present bc the religion isnt true spirituality its a facade. True spirituality comes from within and your maker. Its very much a personel experience and i never try to sway people or push my beliefs but i do believe npd is at its root a spiritual emptiness and possibly an evil force as well mixed with the psychological aspect.
In conjunction to the spiritual point i also believe a narcissist can improve. Its not common but i do think its possible. The more important question is do you wait for that change? I think its foolish to wait for another person to make changes that is their choice and their life. Charles decided for himself to quit drinking and turn his life around and itd be the same for a narcissist to decide to make positive changes. The problem is most narcissists arent self aware so it would be very uncommon but…possible. i dont believe in limiting an individuals capabilities. I had watched a few years ago an interview where a psychologist had said those with bpd cannot change and i found that very limiting to anyone with the disorder. What gives that person the right to take away an individuals options on improving their life and changing themselves for the better? No one thats who. Anyone can improve and change if they are motivated to.
Great interview HG and Charles! 🙂
Thank you C-Mum, I am pleased you enjoyed it.
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But HG is a girls best friend 🎶
HG agrees.
This is an outstanding interview! I bookmarked the link on my phone to share it.
Thank you, HG for spoiling us with Christmas gifts – this astonishing discussion, the Grinch, HG’s Advent surprise that I am hungry for another slice of it . Although the gluttony is a sin but the Advent is an elixir for the brain cells so another slice is a must:).
I was most fascinated about your depth analysis how the social media promotes the narcissistic traits and behavior – it is absolutely spot on, HG! I was thinking the other day how the true spirit of Christmas has been cornered and replaced by the massive consumerism, how the traditional moral values are replaced by self obsession, “ It is all about Me “ attitude; influencers everywhere, etc .
I wad fascinated how you explained again w( you have provided marvellous examples in my favourite book of yours, SATN ) how the common perceptions and expectations what an intimate relationship is , in fact influenced by narcissism and therefore, unrealistic.
And it was also very interesting to listen to Charles’ s experience ( although a brief one) from male victim’s perspective.
Due to the cultural stereotypes and norms men who suffer narcissistic abuse tend to remain silent and isolated.
I hope more male readers will open themselves and share their experience on the blog after listening to the interview.
It was a really interesting discussion and I listened again today.
Thank you again, Master!
You are most welcome, Claire.
Dearest HG: Absolutely stunning and fascinating and informative interview. And I really appreciate how you did not glamorize the achievements of Narcissists, even highly functioning Narcississts, in the world, and you did not turn away, nor neglect discussing the carnage, so to speak, that they often leave in their aftermath. Also, I loved the explanation of how the defensive intuition works, with the example of a person hearing the bang of a noise and a person then automatically ducking. Finally, a big bang theory that I can go along with. The interview was mezmerizing and wonderful, and just your overall boldness and desire to communicate, plus your amazing ability to communicate and actually explain this disorder to even layman as well as professionals, is magnificent as always. There are few remaining wise men in this era, but you are one of the wise men that are still left. So, I cried actual tears afther the interview, because there are few, including people with great authority on this planet, with such wisdom as you have, any longer. And, I was delighted to witness the Interviewer enjoy himself. And for him to see areas that had concerned him, discussed in such an accessible and an accurate manner. I hope those that that are looking for and need this information, find their way to you and your work. I know I sound redundant, but I am not being redundant when I say that you are the absolute best Interviewee that I have ever seen, even considering professional diplomats and world leaders. And you never allow the message to be overan by the interview process, in the manner that I have seen with so many others, at all levels, and all too often. You are gifted. And you have not neglected your gifts. And, ALL mental practitioners should be mandated to listen to you before they are licensed in any capacity whatsover, HG Tudor, and I say this in all seriousness. So very well done. So very brilliant, as always. ~~~~PSE
Thank you PSE.
PSE
Beautiful words ❣️😀😀
Thank you very much, Candacemarie. You should have seen first the tears and then the fire in my eyes, as I wrote them.
Aha. How come I am always late to the party? I was even looking at the ticker a few days ago and it has now ticked over!! Hard to listen right now because I have music blasting but will do later. Looking forward to that mellifluous voice, cold or not.
That was an interesting interview HG. I can’t help but dwell on how aware that you are of your own Narcissism in such a way that it feels (to the listener) that you are able to detach from your Narcissism and look at it, scrutinize it and discuss it for the benefit of others. It feels uncanny and one can’t help feeling that you have the potential to outwit it (I believe FYC may have commented similarly).
One could almost say that that level of self-knowledge begs that you attempt to change it and I could see how some people would claim that you need to do that. In fact, I can’t help thinking that it could be viewed similarly to the Mid-ranger’s subtle blame-shifting as when he or she says “it is the demons” – and not me – that causes what is wrong with me. From that logic, you could say the you are so highly self-aware that you are blame-shifting to the Narcissism; ‘I know what “appropriate” or prosocial behaviour is but can’t control my particular set of behaviours because of the Narcissism.’ So I understand how people feel you *should* be accountable for your behaviours – and, of course, there are those who advocate for a change so that you may better your life (“better” from their perspective, of course). And, naturally, you would answer such suggestions by saying you don’t need to change (you are effective) and cannot change anyway.
My question is: do you consider your endeavor for an improved dynamic with the Shieldmaiden and your efforts here (your work on the blog) as a means to outwit your Narcissism or simply the byproduct of you being highly effective? (Or are these pursuits still due to the ulterior motive that you have alluded to and that we have yet to learn?)
Thank you WC and an interesting set of observations.
I am not seeking to outwit my narcissism, I am my narcissism and it is me and I regard it as effective for how I function. The endeavours both with The Shieldmaiden and the blog are part of a higher endeavour part of which includes determining, “Are there alternative methods of remaining effective”. There can be no wholesale change because I am hardwired this way, the cake is baked, so to speak, however, intellectually I am curious to ascertain if adjustments can be made, even though they are not necessary.
HG, i disagree when you say that changes are not necessary, I think you know that to get different outcomes change is necessary, even though it is just a change of manipulations still to serve your own purposes and has nothing to do with being fixed, cured or no longer a narcissist. Your intellectual knowledge of your behaviours does tell you that change may be necessary if you don’t want recurring patterns of outcomes in certain areas of your life. Of course it’s further acting but never the less.
HG,
““Are there alternative methods of remaining effective”. There can be no wholesale change because I am hardwired this way, the cake is baked, so to speak, however, intellectually I am curious to ascertain if adjustments can be made, even though they are not necessary.”
Thank-you for your considered reply. I know that I am not alone in feeling grateful that your intellectual curiosity has benefited others and, in particular, my own understanding of how Narcissism has affected my life.
You are welcome.
I referred a friend is is dealing with an ex narc. Long ago. But violent criminal, lesser. Although it’s a past narc, the damage is current. I felt you could help her. I suggested a counselor. She is currently reading your works. Thanks HG
Thank you for referring your friend.
HG
Re: Possible adjustments
So you’re just going to leave your cake alone and fuck with the frosting a bit?
Something like that, maybe some of those Fairy Dust sprinkle things or coloured, shiny Spheres of Influence that I understand are used in the b*king world.
NA,
“So you’re just going to leave your cake alone and fuck with the frosting a bit?”
Pahaha!
Liza: I have made adjustments in my life. To be more pro-social, for a better outcome, to meet certain goals. but my belief and my mindset and my true nature is largely still the same. So outer actions, even when necessary, does not automatically mean that the core of a person has changed. And in some ways, I have changed. But, only I know what change is for pro-social reasons, etc. or because I have reflected and somehow I have changed at my core. So, if someone tells you in life, that they have not changed about some things, it is safe to consider believing them.
Hi all,
I met a lovely lady today who told me about her current situation and it seems likely that she is divorcing a narcissist. I wasn’t in a position to offer practical assistance but told her I knew of a place to get answers and understanding. I read Fuel, Fury and Manipulated first off.
Do you have any suggestions for the best place to start?
I have promised to send her some more suggestions although I already told her about the blog and YT channel.
Many thanks x
Thank you for referring her. I suggest she starts with Manipulated, Evil, Fuel and Fury, possibly Sex and the Narcissist also. She also needs the Assistance Package Divorcing A Narcissist.
Many thanks, I’ve passed your information on to her, she’s already blocked his messages Yay!!!! 1 empath at a time
Notme!
And just like that awareness spreads. You’re a good friend
Thank you for another amazing interview HG! I really enjoyed it 😊 I’m sharing it on Facebook.
You are welcome and thank you for sharing the interview.
I just finished listening to your interview and my God (sorry Catholic blood would not allow me the small “g”) that was the most enlightening explanation of this subject. And I’ve consumed tons of videos, blogs, podcasts about this in a desperate attempt to figure out what I might be dealing with. What most, even those with psychology degrees, seem to get wrong is to liken the narcissist to that of a temper tantrum throwing adolescent. While it seems you describe the Lessers that way, I was not satisfied with this very simplified explanation because in my own experience this didn’t always fit the person. Many times there was no outright “tantrum” but just very subtle passive-aggressive behaviors at first that started to override my gut feeling and caused me to question my own sanity. Many methods that were described to combat this behavior simply did not work and I began to think that maybe I was a narcissist because, well, I’m far from perfect and have found myself engaged in ugly fights with my spouse. I wasn’t an angel, just a flawed human being, and the “they are bad, you are not” narrative did very little to help me out of the fog I found myself in. I kept going back to hoping he would change, wondering why he would waste 10 years of our lives, why disrupt our children’s lives, our home, etc to now, well, learning that I fell in love with an illusion and although this is extremely painful, it’s allowing me to start the hard and painful choice to exorcise this person from my heart. Thank you, HG. You are very well-spoken, intelligent, and have validated my situation more than any other source. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you Raquel, I am pleased you found the interview enlightening and useful. Many commentators fail to understand much about our kind and you highlight one of those failings in your comment. My work is simply the best and most effective. Do all you can to introduce others to it.
Bravo, great interview HG
Your explanations in this one seem to have evolved from the earlier interviews I’ve heard. This shows an increase in your level of expertise and understanding, not only improvement in your delivery and communication of ideas. So often educators of one kind or another hold tightly onto the complexity of their subject. The exceptional ones, continue to learn themselves, and end up distilling concepts and ideas towards their simplest form and a tiny few are able to explain them to other people using concrete examples.
What is it?
What is it not?
What does it look like?
What can you do about it?
If this blog contributes to your expertise and understanding because of the ideas shared and discussed, as well as giving the people here answers and strength that is a real win-win.
Thank you Notme. I agree, as time has passed, I have also listened to my readers and clients to ascertain “are they understanding my message” and where I can convey the information in a clearer way, I endeavour to do so, because to do so means more people understand which continues to create and solidify my legacy.
HG: I can tell that you really listen to us in order to convey you information as clearly as possible. Even when I think that you can not be more clear, you manage to be even clearer about this complex topic.
Thank you.
More HG adjectives:
Modest
Humble
Caring
It burns, oh it burns, make it stop…
Sorry HG
Prick
Bastard
Arsehole
Twathead
Is that better?
Inaccurate but a dollop of fuel nonetheless.
Kim E
I think you meant..
Manipulative
Calculated
Spiteful
Controlling
Entitled
Thin skinned
Envious
Possessive
Sadistic
Apathetic
…Which is accurate
Inaccurate.
I am neither spiteful, thin-skinned or apathetic.
I am rarely possessive, I possess. I am also rarely envious as I am set above others.
HG be real with yourself!
You’re also…a gyalis
Witch. All true but he wears it well 😀
Burn Baby Burn – Disco Inferno
Kim e, stop throwing around the Holy Water!
Ha ha.
Yes I suspect that the instinctive planning may be as the result of a prolonged ignition of fury which lasts long enough to commit the act. I wonder if it is a possibility for a narcissist to regret murdering their primary source once they experience a depletion of fuel?
No, we do not do regret.
Always a pleasure to hear you educating the masses HG. The explanations of NDP as a defence mechanism and instinctive behaviour by the narcissist particularly in this interview for me. The examples you use are always brilliant and relatable. Well done.
Congratulations on 17 MILLION. I’m hurrying to get this comment in before it turns to 18 as the numbers seem to fly by anymore.
Thank you NA, much appreciated.
HG, I enjoyed all of it, but especially when you pointed out the clinical disposition of narcissism i.e. ‘sense of entitlement’, as one factor, is stated but that you (and I daresay you alone) actually explain what that means to the victim. Just saying, a narcissist has a sense of entitlement is like offering a shadow to tell a person what Narcissim is, whereas you tell the victim *what that looks like to the victim*. I believe your ability and willingness to do that, is one of the biggest reasons your work is so valuable to people who have found themselves involved with something they simply don’t understand but which is making them miserable and feeling as if they’ve either done something or are doing something wrong, or are just losing their minds.
Wonderful interview, thank you for sharing.
Thank you Caity and I agree.
I understand my kind and your kind and I convey this understanding in a way which makes sense to people and in a way they recognise with regard to their own experiences, rather than just using the terms, I demonstrate how it manifests, how there are different dynamics, different positions in the fuel matrix and also destroy euphemistic descriptions by explaining what they really amount to.
I am pleased you enjoyed the interview and thank you for your observation on it.
Thank HG Tudor I love listening to your interviews there is so much more in-depth information in them rather than just reading a blog as informative as they are.
Thank you Misstasia.
The reader interviews will be occurring in the New Year, by the way.
There will be reader interviews? What did I miss?
https://narcsite.com/2019/10/20/time-of-the-tudorites/
Thank you HG. Still taking applications?
Yes. The shortlist will be drawn up next week.
Very enlightening interview, HG. I enjoyed it very much and I shall listen to it again. I hope you are well now.
It was very interesting when you spoke about the difference between NPD and ASPD. I had read about it including that psychopaths do not any need fuel but they did not say that psychopaths do not need to be in control like narcissists do.
You have provided crucial information to be considered before diagnosing someone.
Thank you EB.
You are welcome.
As always Mr.g lestening to your interviews is verry instructive, and as always i get jealous of your methodes.
i hope your colde will heal soon!
arg…. mean Mr.HG
The cold has been disengaged from. Thank you.
verry good news, it better stays no contact.
I know it’s rare that narcissists, but they do still kill. When a domestic homocide that occurs that has been planned over a period of days, weeks or months (we see this the case of “honour” based killings) would you theorise that these are narcissists with a machiavellian streak?
Yes or narcissists or normals with reduced empathy because of certain circumstances.
Thanks, I would say a narcissist is always behind it, but may instruct others including normals. In the case of honour killings, sometimes it’s the narc mother or father instructing other family members or non-familial members of the community to carry out the homocide.
In a relationship how would you suggest the victim spot signs of machiavellianism?
That’s probably quite a complex question so I understand if it’s difficult to answer as it may be very dependent on the individuals circumstances.
I’m just wondering how we may be able to distinguish (from your perspective) between the narcissist that is likely to kill and the narcissist that is extremely unlikely to kill. I know that criminologists have been able to identify risk patterns but you may be able to offer additional insight.
I agree with your observation in the first paragraph.
Read the article, Why the Narcissist Wants You Dead. If you require further clarification, that is a matter for consultation given the detail involved.
Thank you HG,
I have just read this article again.
I’m interested as there has been an increase in domestic homocides in the UK, which is why I would now argue against deliberately trying to wound any narcissist. The main risk factor leading up to a domestic homocide was (not surprisingly) found to be a threat or perceived threat to the narcissists control, such as recent separation from the IPPS. The majority of domestic homocides have been found to be planned/contemplated over a period of time, rather than a “spontaneous crime of passion” as what is sometimes depicted in the media.
I have big dreams for your work HG and how it can be used by courts, probation, perpetrator programs, prisons, influence legislation etc
Thank you Witch.
Remember, some of this may have been instinctive planning as well. The crime of passion is a terrible description, that is usually the ignition of fury from a Lesser Narcissist.
You are right to argue against deliberately trying to wound a narcissist, this is because it offend the First Golden Rule of Freedom and results in The Narcissist´s Pitchfork making an appearance and there can be fatal adverse consequences.
Excellent interview! Thank you, Mr. HG Tudor for your amazing insight. Also, thanks for putting all these interviews together here. I was not aware of them all.
You are welcome.
Very enjoyable interview HG
Thank you Lisa, I am pleased you found it to be the case.
Hello HG, Welcome back. I hope you are feeling much better. You were superb, of course, in that interview. Every time I listen, I learn more. Even though I now know the framework by reading your works and from the blog, when I hear you fluidly describe different situations in your usual dynamic fashion, it really shines a spotlight on past experiences I’ve had with people I thought were benign, or I made excuses for certain behaviors, but now I see they were Ns. I am beginning to think there are far more narcissists than can be effectively be estimated, yet I don’t want to be jaded. Previously I would have guessed 15%E, 80%N, 5%N, now I feel it is closer to 15%E, 60%N, 25%N. Do you mind sharing your percentage estimates based upon your personal observation?
Regarding the host’s question on people that say things out loud when no one is around, I recently read an article on the brain’s default mode network (DMN), or the mental process that we engage in with regard to racing thoughts and ongoing internal narration. It described, in brief, that humans do not just experience things in life in the moment, we also narrate what we experience in real-time. This natural process assists in building our ever growing network of associations and creates an understanding of our experiences based upon our ever growing database of knowledge and past experiences. DMN thoughts can be skewed by a variety of influencing factors, including fears, anxiety or defenses, and therefore the narration is not necessarily objective, nor accurate. Most people are not highly observant of their ongoing inner narration, nor aware of its influence. I am wondering if this process is what is behind certain people verbalizing aloud their internal thoughts on what they are experiencing?
Thank you FYC. Around 1 in 6 are narcissists.
Thank you HG, that explains a lot.
You are welcome, FYC.
Very powerful yet enlightening interview. The part about jody arias was something that I had emailed you about requesting to put her under the tudorscope. I believe she is a narcissist a lower level narcissist. Thanks for sharing this with us always good to hear what other questions people have. I wonder how he found you or knew about you hg?
He has read the blog CJ and has wanted to raise narcissism awareness in South Africa so asked if he could interview me. Thank you for listening.
Ughh i can relate im fighting a cold get well soon HG!
Ill be sipping tea and listening to this later 🤗
Thank you, but all well here. Enjoy your tea and the interview.
Don’t forget to add the honey. 🥰
That was a great interview HG. I actually believe it was one of if not the best one yet! I had quite an awful lot of lightbulb moments from this interview. This is why your are #1! Congratulations! I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you FM1T, I feel fine, thank you for asking.
You’re quite welcome HG.
Hi FM1T, How are you feeling? Are you back to all better after your surgery? I hope so, or at least you will be very soon.
Hi FYC, how are you amazing lady? I’m afraid I have at least 3 more weeks until I’m completely better. This week has been kind of rough but I think I actually broke through the pain today, finally. Thank you for asking that is very kind FYC. Each week things will be added that I can do. Sometime this week I’m hoping to be able to drive again! I hate this feeling of being trapped!
Dear FM1T, I am so sorry to hear this. I know that feeling. Take good care of yourself. I’m glad you broke through the pain and I’m sure your outcome will be excellent and worth the wait. You will be in my thoughts and I am sending you a big hug of encouragement.😘
Thank you FYC very much! I know the outcome will be successful. Thank you for the hug, I could feel it from here! 😘
FM1T, how are you feeling ? I hope you have a fast a speedy recovery sweety!
I feel pretty good, a little more tired right now Pati. Thank you for asking, A speedy recovery is what I’m working towards. I was more concerned for HG and the way he sounded in the interview today, until I realized that was recorded over a week ago!
Take it easy FM1T you will heal fast!
Yes your right HG’s interview was recorded a week ago so he must be 100% better.
Thanks Pati. Yes Pati a little cold will not keep HG down! Remember he is a King who has a Queen to nurse him back to health. 🥰
FM1T, your right I am sure HG is well taken care of . He is a Greater ! And has SM by his side .
He certainly is, and he certainly does Pati. 🙃
HG is much more then just a greater Pati! 😉
You are right he is a Greek God,
That comment he will like!! Lol
FM1T , I think so too 😁
Omg HG! I just noticed the your instead of you’re! That is one you always would tell me about. It was definitely just a typo, I do know the difference I just don’t pay attention at times. 🙃
I agree FM1T me too.
I sometimes need to look up some of words HG uses. They are new to me!
HG has words that are new to a lot of people Pati! Lol 🙃
Of course FM1T, we learn English Literature too lol! Double course Narcissism/Language Lets see if we can Ace the cources lol Professor HG Tudor.
I haven’t aced anything from HG, he’s pretty tough Pati. I’m joking you know? You will do perfectly fine. 🤗
Can you imagine if HG would be our teacher. That would be hilarious snd scary at the same time.
Oh Pati, he is our teacher. 😉
Yes he is , what i meant in a classroom setting in real life.
Omg Pati! That is a frightening thought! Lol. Could you just imagine, everyone would be wanting to sit in the front of the class room, his desk would be piled with gifts everyday, and I bet there would be at least one fight everyday to determine who would be teachers pet. Hahaha. 🙃
Can you imagine ? HG should be on the Bachelor. They girls would all fight for his attention. The name calling ,pulling hair etc.
HG would gain so much FUEL! At the end he would disengage from all of them and all that will be left are tears. Chris Harrison will have a fun with this one.
Then HG can write another book from the experience Crazy !
Ha ha.
Or I could just shoot them.
Nah! You woudnt want any evidence lying around ,besides your IPPS could be one of them. You never know
That sounds like a world any narcissist would love to be a part of! Lol. I never watched that show. I can imagine at the end HG walking out with SM! As everyone starts screaming and fighting about how unfair and against the rules that was! Lol. Of course all of his students watching would know, the rules that HG has, are the rules that HG makes up! Hahaha! I love it 🙃
HG can have all the apples on his desk . Your right who would fight for teachers pet.
Who indeed Pati, who indeed? 😝
Grad school was never this awesome.
Trust me.
🤮
I agree !
I noticed the cold slightly in Night Before Christmas. Even gods get colds apparently! Germs don’t discriminate.
Charles has obviously read your work extensively. Even with a cold, best interview I’ve heard to date. Brilliant. You shine, HG.
Thank you MB. Yes, he digested it well, it showed in his questioning.
Hahaha! Affable bastard is quite right, yes sir! Love it.
HG, another awesome interview. I never get tierd of listening to your voice. I hope you feel better with your cold. Drink lots of liquids and try and get some rest.
Thank you Pati, I am well thank you, just the tail end, nothing to see here!
Glad your better HG!
I think you mean, “glad you’re best HG”
Oh trust me HG i know your the best,amazing,awesome ,intelligent ,handsome individual who is also unique and mysterious
You are special.
And you are just getting warmed up…..
Hard working ,great voice,ambitious, sense of humour, if i knew you in person I can write a book about you.
Oh, keep it coming….
Bright,clever,strong leader,talented,helpful,athletic,positive,logical ,romantic and many more
Everyone can join in with this….
Professional, honesty in your blog
As requested: (more)Words to describe HG
Sagacious
Perspicacious
Eloquent
Prodigious
Trenchant
Rapier wit
Marvellous!
Sorry HG i used simpliar words than NA, she used more better ones .
As long as they praise him Pati he doesn’t care if the words are simple or not. 🙃
Okie Dokie , i will say he is cute then. There is a simple word. Lol
Pati when you say cute I definitely do not think of HG. Lol. Cute puppies and kittens maybe, HG cute, girl that’s a stretch! Hahaha
( I’m just teasing you Pati, if you see him as cute, then he is cute. ) personally I like to imagine he is actually quite beautiful! 🙃
FM1T, he may have a few dimples that make him cute or a baby face ? Lol Anyways he is beautiful especially educating us in Narcissism.
I try and have a sense of humour since i still live with my N for the time being .
Pati,
I believe also there perhaps might be a dimple or two. You have a beautiful sense of humor sweetie!
I have learned not to care what other people think about me or what I say Pati, the one’s that talk the most, usually end up having the most to hide. You see HG will always be beautiful to me.😪💞
Thank you FM1T its good to have a sense if humour ! I wont let anyone take that away from me. You also have a good attitude.
Your right being beautiful comes from the inside you dont only have to beautiful on the outside. Its the way someone treats you . Thats why HG is beautiful because it teaches us logic.
Being beautiful is also something you can feel from the energy of a person Pati.
Exactly, positive energy.
I was in the mall today, this lady came up to me and and asked me for my opinion on a male fragrance i gave her my opinion and she ended up buying it. I was shocked.
It’s because you are honest and genuine Pati. 😘
Thank you FM1T!
You’re welcome Pati. 😘
Ok HG, I’ll join in your majesty.
Words to describe our King!
Charming, captivating, fascinating, wonderful, fantastic, intriguing, phenomenal, brilliant, breath taking, astonishing, absolutely perfect! 🙇♀️🙃
Like the song says Take My Breath Away!
I still cannot listen to that song without it creeping me out. Years ago I would get these random phone calls at different hours of the night and day. When I would answer the phone that song would be playing, it was creepy! I would just hang up and not say a word, but it would always leave me uneasy for hours afterwards.
I am so sorry you would have to go through that l didnt mean to creep you out. I always liked the movie Top Gun. Someone must have done that on purpose. Next time get a whistle and blow it in the phone .
I know you have gone through a lot FM1T.
I always enjoy chatting with you sweety.
Pati
You didn’t creep me out. This happened years ago and I did find out who was doing it. I was in my yard talking to a neighbor lady she had always acted like another Mother to me, she had children my age. ( I have not lived there in 13 years ) I had mentioned to her about the strange phone calls. She looked at me as if she had seen a ghost! She told me she had walked in to her kitchen the day before and found her son playing this song on the CD player, with his phone up to the sound. He told her he was playing a joke on a friend and she thought no more of it. She thought it was cute and that he had a small crush on me. She begged me not to mention it to him. Smh. He was the best friend of the Father to my children! He was at my home constantly getting drunk and partying! I never said a word to anyone and acted like I never knew. It would have caused more trouble and drama if I said anything. It wasn’t worth it! I would have been blamed somehow for it happening, everything was always my fault! I now know why. Smh.
I always enjoy talking to you also Pati. 😘
Good for you FM1T, you handled the situation with class my dear.
When we were kids we used to crank call people as a joke but it was all harmless.
Those days are long gone.
Yes Pati unfortunately you are correct m, those days are definitely over.
A fresh new start is always the best.
Pati,
I wish that for you. 🥰
Awww you made me smile ! Thank you so much 🤗
You’re welcome Pati. 🥰
Just saw this FM1T, In that case its was wise to give no fuel. I am glad that is long in your past.
Pati, I always liked Top Gun also! 🙃
FM1T if only you had known NA back then, I am certain she could have supplied the ultimate come back and those calls would have come to a screeching halt!
Oh FYC I would like to agree with you but I can’t. You see I could have brought those phone calls to stop many times, I had to weigh my options. At the end of the day ( in my mind ) leaving them continue and only affecting me a little bit, was better then everyone finding out and it affecting me and others much much worse! That is the conditioned thinking I still at times use to survive. I didn’t know that at that time, I only learned and understood this about a year ago. Thanks to HG. 🙃
Sorry FM1T, I replied to this in the wrong place. See my other comment.
Smexy
Sic nasty
Gangsta
Raw
Bangin
Mint
Fire
Pimp
GOAT
Mercy you made me pull up the urban dictionary for your creative collection. I think you meant Gangsta as in Fly, but the literal translation can’t work because HG is upper class. Perhaps HG can work your list into his next rap session (like 99 problems)!
Haha FYC, 99 problems is what inspired the me. I think GOAT sums it up though.
Indeed he is, Mercy!
Tis the season of giving, so why offer an ultra fuelicious missive of praise and gratitude?
Dear HG:
Your effulgent brilliance, like an almighty sun, infiltrates our consciousness and annihilates our confusion and denial. Your incomparable and innate discernment and incontrovertible logic are beyond reproach. Your intuitive insight of self and other is at once eerily omnipotent, yet disarmingly magnetizing and gratifying. Your quick wit and clever humor entertains and delights all. Your impressive influence and gravitational pull are undeniable to anyone who nears your orbit.
Drawing upon your polymath knowledge and illustrious wisdom, you have authored a plethora of astonishing and elucidating works. With the deft genius of an inspired composer, you instinctively craft layer upon layer of sublimely perspicacious revelations that expose essential truths. Your unfettered candor swiftly exposes any vacuous midrange twit, twat, pillock or tosser who crosses your path. Yet your innate ability to put others at ease and magnanimously offer benevolent words of support is even more remarkable and extraordinary.
Your grandeur is vast and your loyal supporters are legion. You have the profound and impassioned gratitude of every emapth who’s life you have forever changed. You are Ultra amazing and wholeheartedly appreciated.
Thank you FYC and most articulate as always. I may put this one next to the mirror in my bathroom.
With all the others, of course.
Thank you HG and I’m pleased you enjoyed that tiny drop of holiday fuel. I am sure you have quite a collection of similar comments.
That was phenomenal as always FYC, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. 🙇♀️😘💞
Thank you FM1T, you are the sweetest😘 I could easily write one for you as well. You are a beautiful soul who shines an ethereal light on all. Your sincerity and kind heart never fail to uplift and bring joy wherever you go.💞Yours is shorter because you do not require fuel, but it is the truth.
Oh FYC you made me cry! Thank you. You do know this came to you so easily because you were writing about yourself. 😘💞
FYC you do know that if my Sista NA is reading this, at this point and time she is shaking her head and running to the bathroom 🤢🤮! Hahaha. 🙃
Not at all, FM1T, it is the energy you emit. Very innocent pure hearted. Just keep adding layers of steely strength to that inner core and you will be unstoppable.
BTW, I have never understood why people feel uncomfortable with genuine positive comments? The same people often readily accept false negative comments and take them to heart, but the good observations are somehow difficult to trust and take to heart? I’d like to change that dynamic. All of my observations are literally sincere. Even that over-the-top fuel drop. It was meant as a gift. I am no sycophant.
FYC I am exactly like that. You could overflow a page with positive compliments and write just one negative comment either false or true, and I will only see or hear that one negative comment. It is really quite hard for me to accept and believe good compliments. You FYC are different though, when I receive compliments and words of kindness from you, I feel them in my heart and it makes me cry. 💞
You are very deserving FM1T. Thank you for knowing my observations are sincere. Believe them and cast out your (or others’) negative narratives. They are only projections or manipulations. Objective observation is worthy to seek. Then you decide what actions you want to take. You are behind the wheel, the weather is fine, and the road beckons.
I’ll pick you up on the way FYC! 😉
FM1T, Count me in. I love a good adventure. With your appreciation for nature and what I know it does for you, there are a few places I highly recommend that you will not want to miss in this life.
Sounds like a plan to me FYC. My family always tells everyone that if I’m along you can count on a adventure happening. Lol. I cannot wait for those recommendations! 😘💞
I have no doubt about that, FM1T! Since it is off topic, if HG approves and is feeling generous, I will email a list for you and ask him to kindly forward the content in keeping with the rules. Assateague is on my list because of you and I look forward to that visit one day. Maybe travel could be on topic if called “Great Escapes From the Narcissist: The Best Places to Go to Renew Your Strength and Heal Your Spirit”?
That sounds like a wonderful idea FYC. I’m sure you probably seen it written at some time by our
Sorry FYC! Hit reply to soon.
I’m sure at some point and time HG must have had the idea and has become to busy to start the travel series. 😉 I’m thinking that because it is the holiday season, perhaps just this one time he would forward that email you mentioned to me? Would you please do that HG Sir?
Of course Assateague will be on that list FYC. I’d love for you to meet the ponies. 🥰
One more thing FYC. It took me a whole 60 seconds to realize this, and she will probably deny it? My Sista NAs growl is worse then her bite, especially when it comes to me! Hee,hee,hee! I’ve grown on her over the years you see. 😉
Come here Sissy! 🤗🤗🤗😘 Lol!!
FM1T, NA has my respect and she strikes me a woman that can hold her own in any setting. I am pretty sure she could dispose of your vacuous caller and leave him reeling & wounded.
Seriously, I hope this situation is long past. You are too tender a soul and have been too viciously abused. I hope your are not still accommodating abusers. FTSSH. I would love to shut that sh*t down for you. It makes me angry. Please do get HG’s help to do so. He is the ultimate mastermind and would know exactly how to navigate the most complex situation.
As for NA’s affection for you, it is obvious and mutual. A wonderful thing to see. You have grown by leaps and bounds FM1T. Now onward to Zero Impact please!
FYC,
There is no doubt in my mind what NA is capable of! That whole phone situation happened back in the eighties, if it would be going on right now? I would shut that shit down! Haha! Although this is a virtual world, there are many on here that I will always hold near and dear to my heart, you, NA, and HG, are three of those people. I feel very honored and lucky to have found people like the three of you to correspond with! 😘💞
FM1T, I am truly honored and feel the same way. 💞
Btw FYC, you probably shouldn’t write affection and NA in the same sentence! She tried to keep that side of her hidden. Lol 😉
Ooops typo… why *not* offer …
ha ha so inclusive and inviting ….
His Greatness Tudor of House Ultra, First of his Name, The Unhurt, King of the Empaths, the Super Empaths and the Co-Dependent, King of GOSO, Ruler of the Lessers, the Mid-Rangers and the Greaters that be, Protector of Logic, Lord Regent of the Six Spheres of Influence, Breaker of Chains and Empowerer of Empaths.
Have you been opening my invitations again, Desiree?!
Fabulous and oh, so fine. Magical and magnificent.
I keep checking those invitations for Royal Weddings but no luck so far. I need to know if that Chapel smells as musty as was claimed.
How about this, then:
Heralded,
Gracious,
Titanic.
I see what you did there.
HG approves.
I want to add one but every compliment has been added and then some 😂😁 …ok here goes….
HG you are the god of npd the almighty everknowing master of narcissism. No one can hold a candle to your knowledge of npd. We bow down to you and worship the ground you tread on kissing your feet 🤗 you stand solid our alter of truth and salvation from all that is untrue and toxic in this world. We place our forever trust in you to guide us to our freedom and sanity 😁
Spoken like the Truthseeker you are C-Mum!
Speaking of male fragrances, HG, Viking was released in 2017. What did you wear before that?
Aventus (amongst others).
That fragrance smells nice. May I recommend the one from Dolce & Gabana since there is ony.one of HG.
FYC. HG is: Ultra Amazing, as you said: I would like to borrow that description of him, if you do not mind. I can add it to: Behavioral Genius.
Please do so PSE, HG has earned that title and more.
You’re definitely my favourite Narcissist HG. Singular I’d say
You can only have one favourite.
And that is of course me.
You are one of a kind and you know it .
Also, I am sexy and I know it.
Lets add sexy to the list HG perhaps we forgot that one.
“Also, I am sexy and I know it.”
Friendly reminder that my request for a cover of “I’m too sexy for my shirt” is still pending.
Duly noted.
Haha, it’s okay, I am willing to accept a cover of this beautiful song as well, as I deem it to be equal in both self-esteem and sensualiy:
Desirée:
WTF?
My editor in comic books had a pornstache like that. I just e’d him the link and asked why he never told me he’d made a music vid.
Violetta
Someone sent that song to me and even days after I posted it here, that chorus was stuck in my head. I have angered the gods and this is how they curse me.
The Stache really adds to it. One must admire a man that would go through the hassle of shaving every morning while still making the conscious decision to leave that mustache how it is. Every. single. day.
Dearest HG: Thank you for the interview, and my evening is set Bubble Bath Supreme tonight! Yay!!!
Make sure you tell Bubbles she is expected in the bath!
i finally found you PSE!
as promised i finished One outs, so :
1) toua is verry intersting and charismatic indeed, and i love his gambling habit ( when i will be old, i will spend my days at a poker table)
2) i got to understand the rulls of baseball.
3) i don’t think he is a narcissist:
_he exibited empathy for kojima, he accepted to loose eventhought evrybody around acknowleged him as the winner, and he did it to avoid having kojima give up his career in baseball, and he even went as fare as to accepte having his arme being borken.
_he behaves in a moral and concious way, he abide by the rules and does not change rules to win, and he does not exebit any need for controle.
he seems like a psychpath because he is verry calme and confident, but he is just verry inteligent and capable, when you know what you are doing you are calme, fear comes generaly from insertenty.
PS: i’m sorry, it is off topic.
Liza. Ok. My points arguing that Toua is a Narcississt, but perhaps not an overly malignant Narcississt. We both say he is interesting and capable and confident and charismatic. But, I would not go as far as to say that he has no fears, like you are saying, just because he does not show them. Narcissists do have fears, even the calm ones. I also would not say that he behaved in an overly moral way, either . Sometimes, it just so happens that what is more prosocial happens to occur in the same arena that many would call moral. One would have to know a person`s thoughts to see if an action was moral, or prosocial or convenient or some sort of combination of the three, or something else altogether, but the anime does not disclose his inner thoughts regarding his morality. And, as a street gambler, he took a lot of peoples` money, successfully, by deceiving them regarding his abilities. Is that really moral? Even against people that may have a gambling addiction problem and should not be gambling at all, but he takes all of their money? But, he is charismatic an interesting to you and to me, but, perhaps because we are empaths, and we often find Narcissists alluring. However, the owners, his manager and his own teammates were a bit suspicious and distrustful of him, despite his constant game winning prowess.
(Rules of baseball are way more simple than this anime, but because of al the cheating going on by the opposing teams and by his own owner against him, some of the more rarely used rules came into play, during this anime series. So regular professional baseball will be incredible simple for you to understan, after watching One Outs.)
I do not see that he has emotional empathy for his teammate Kojima. He did not befriend him, nor engage with him socially. I think that Kojima was the sort of person that Toua would want in his sphere, versus some other people, mostly, on a pick and choose basis, but not on an emotional level, nor to make plans to stay in touch with him post the baseball season and championship, if his primary aims did not direct his attention that way towards Kojima. And, Toua did not seek out a formal baseball career, unlike Kojima, that lived for baseball and was fanatical about it. Toua could play the sport very well and he was proficient at gambling and so he just put the 2 together to make money on the streets. But, if he had another skill, he would just as easily put that skill to the forefront that aided his gambling. Formal baseball was presented to him, only because his athleticism came to the forefront of a desperate team, during his gambling baseball games that he played on the streets to make money, and so he actually accepted the challenge of playing on this weak team, because he was aware of how smart he was during his own street play, and because he was able to go around the proposed contract by the owners, and thereby manage to negotiate his own contract which matched his particular skill set, which suited his primary aims of making money, including gambling on his own abilities each game. Not because he wanted to be a baseball star. He had no desire to stay with the team beyond the challenge of a world championship, and so it was no big deal for him to allow Kojima to have the honor, and so Toua did not really sacrifice anything by doing so. His personal goal was proving to himself that he could take the weak team that far, and to make a lot of money with his self-negotiated, game-by-game unusual contract with the owner, but he had no attachment to the team nor any of his teammates to be a part of each other`s lives beyond that. Nor, any desire for glory in such a manner as a famous player like Kojima. (Liza: I do not remember his arm to ever be broken. Unless I missed that fact somehow.) If he made a bet that he would allow it to be broken, that is just another gamble that he made. He is a gambler, but not a losing gambler . So I would not be surprised if his arm was ever broken, and it had not been broken when the version of the Anime that I watched, ended.
Regarding Control! Toua controlled absolutely everyone, including the Owners, his contract, his teammates, his manager and even the opposing teams, every step of the way. Everyone jumped and scurried according to his plans and strategy, even though they were often alarmed and wary and irritated and could not figure out what he was doing most of the time, all the way to the end.
Regarding Gambling, the part of the mind that gambles is currently closed to me. I can not understand the many calculations of gambling. I think that gambling may be Narcissistic. Speaking of which, I also liked another anime that I recently watched: Akagi. It is all gambling. I did not understand that gambling game, mahjong, throughout the entire anime series. lol. Still, I loved it. Because Akagi`s inner thoughts, that was presented to us, the viewers, about the strategy behind his moves against his opponents were fascinating. He too is a Narcissist. However, In that anime, his inner thoughts were available, and I would say that he was not overly moral, as well.
PSE,
indeed toua didn’t loose much in playing in the team, but keep in minde that a narcissist would never have admited defeat especially if they won, and toua risked his arme, and the arme with wich he is making money , so it was really a display of empathy towards kijoma. and he didn’t gain anything either, he was doing verry good with his methodes.
and note he is never cheating, he just doesn’t let others walk over him, it is defferent.
he seems cold because he is focused on what he does , while others are always gossiping and scrutinising him instead of doing something usefull, i don’t see it as an indicator of narcissism, i can be ice cold when i work on something.
i can’t objectivelly say that gambeling is a good habit, but i love the thrill of it, i only play poker with friends, it is not like i spend my evenings in a casino ( yes it is rationalising, but it really works to make feel better about it).
Liza. His arm was never broken, right? If his arm were actually broken, and I missed that, I need to know. Akagi, in the other anime, often put his literal life on the line in his bets, while gambling. And, definitely NOT because he had empathy for his opponent, and thereby would make such a bet out of some form of empathy. It seems to be a macho thing amongst betters to make fierce and even horrendous bets, at times. And both asked others to make bets that, if they lost, appeared too harsh to me, as someone accustomed to U.S. story telling. And even some characters in the animes that I watched also said that some bets were too harsh, if one lost the bet, and thus they refused some of the bets. So betting one`s arm to be broken is less daunting than betting to never ever to gamble again, or for someone`s arm to be actually cut off, etc, like I have been viewing. So, I need to know if the arm was actually broken, and then if it were actually broken, I have a question to ask. If his arm were never broken, I see that bet even less a sign of empathy towards Kojima, for Toua to have made, especially since that bet was made so very EARLY on in the series, when the 2 characters were even LESS FAMILIAR with each other. Also, a stepping back, so to speak, is not always a loss and is not always empathetic. And, also, not taking an honor that is not important to one, is not accepting a loss either, per se. Stepping back is at times not losing, nor quitting. Something that I am slowly learning, personally. For example, how many people have been wrong and HG still allows them to have the last word, on here: It is because the situation or their statement is not overly disruptive, nor not overly egregious, etc., most of the time. And his time is very valuable. They have not won and he has not lost, neither has he retreated, just because they spoke last on here, on any given topic.
Sometimes empaths take truth seeking and truth telling too far. In an anime I am watching lately, a character gave the glory regarding a situation to another character, because he did not want the attention that would come to him over what happened. He is not being empathic, rather he is meeting his own needs for privacy regarding certain skills that he has that he is hiding from the group and basically from everyone, for his own reasons. And so he gave away the credit to another that needed it, as a secondary action, more than out of empathy. Also, I am not saying Toua is a Narcississt because he is cold and focused. Rather, I am saying he is a Narcissist because he does not form relationships. His sphere was composed of normal guys and he does not befriend a single one of them, and they do not really warm up to him, but rather they warm up to the wins he is bringing to them: I was saying that he was too overly cool, and not charismatic to those in his sphere, because they are normal guys, even though he was great to you and to me, Liza, as empaths, to say that he has the characteristic of a narcissist, which as you know attracts empaths, like you and me, and he does not really attract normals.
Toua, foremost, is a gambler. I am not against gambling, per se. But, there is something sort of risque about it, yes? I think gambling is Narcissistic in that it also happens in the NOW. And many are caught up in the NOW moment of it all. I once was at Atlantic City and put some money in the slot machines. The machines took my money, and I received no thrill over this, and my gambling career began and ended with that one experience that evening: afterwards, I just followed around the people that I came with and watched them lose their money at various tables for the rest of the evening. One guy in our party won a couple of thousand dollars, but I do not know what he started out with, and I was not about to ask him. I am not against gambling though. I just do not have the gambling bug. And I do not have the ability to guess the odds and what my opponents may have going in their favor. But, I would still go with friends to a Casino. I just would not throw my money in and gamble, and I would still have a good time watching them gamble at various games.
I do not believe that following the rules is never cheating, by definition. Rules can have flaws and loopholes and vagaries, etc. that can be taken advantage of, with ill intent. For example, a player could still be called a dirty player by people, while never violating the set rules of his or her sport. Cheating then is also an intent. Even if done according to certain rules that are supposed to enhance fairness. Toua did not need to cheat, per se, but he is manipulative. And, is manipulating not cheating in some form, at times? For example, Toua telling his teammate to steal home, in what looked like a suicide move that would lose the game, and then Toua later saying that he knew that it would seem to be a bad move to that player, a suicide move, and that the player would choose not to do it. But, the player was in a moral dilemma to obey Toua at the time, to either make a suicide move that made no sense as far as winning was concerned, or to ignore the order that Toua gave him and not attempt to steal home. And finally the player decided to FAKE stealing home base to appease Toua. Then later Toua told the Player that he,Toua, knew the player would not be able to morally make the suicide move and would actually try to deceive Toua and actually fake stealing home, and that fact fit in with the overall successful strategy that Toua created. That the fake would create the necessary distraction for another part of the strategy that Toua had created. And it did… And they won their game.
However, I do not think it is good to place people intentionally into moral dilemmas, like Toua did to that Player. Morally, one does not tempt others to do wrong, do they? For example, Does one give an order to someone to shoot another that is known to be innocent, and then when the potential shooter, after much personal deliberation, can not morally obey the order to shoot, but rather tells the potential victim to run for their life and hide and leave town and disappear. And later, the order giver says, they knew this would be the result, and the person would not shoot. However, Is not something still wrong in this moral manipulation? What if the person had obeyed the order and did shoot the innocent person? And thus violated their own morals under the duress of obeying the order? Even if such tempting is not called cheating, per se, it is still manipulating a person by taking advantage of their moral beliefs, yes? Is that empathetic? Toua manipulated his own teammate in order to win their game, his primary aim, and he had no concern for the moral dilemma his order caused for his teammate, even though it worked out as Toua planned. But, Toua had no empathy for sweating his teammate. When Toua says that he knows the player would not follow the order, I still do not excuse Toua for placing that player in that highly stressful moral dilemma. Is Toua, a Narcississt? I say, yes. I have made my case.
PSE,
no his arme was never boroken, remember, it was kojima who started by saying that he will give up his carre if he loses the game, and it was him who asked for toua to give him his arme if he wins, toua just played along. bay the classic rules toua won, but he decided to apply rules that are effective only in japan, it was a way to let kojima win, and instead of breaking toua’s arme kojima asked for a bigger favore.
what you describe as manipulation is just strategy, what separates a good player from an exelent player, is that the good player practices harde, and has a good physical condition, an exelent player has the former qualities plus inteligence.
i don’t think i’m atracted to narcissists, i would rather say people with a little psychopathy, but not totaly amoral, to make it short, i like inteligence and coldness, i hate my emotivity and i don’t want someone like me, but the attension seeking and treachery narcissists engage in is a total turn off for me.
Mr.HG does not let people who are wrong win, he tells them when they are wrong, he explains why they are wrong and he let’s them chose to see reason or to be stuborn. he is applying his rules, nothing more nothing less, the fact that he isn’t insisting to convaince someone is not letting them win, in this case, he simply does not need to do so, and given his level of inteligence and the confidance he has on his expertise, it is not even chalenge fuel for him, he know that he is right, and he has controle.
i don’t know if gambeling is a narcissistic thing, but i know that it can be an addiction, and it seems that there are people more prone to addictions than others, so it is always good to not engage in it.
Liza: Narcissists DO like some `appliances` more than others, remember: That is not empathy. I hear your closing argument. And, I gave mine, already. We now need a Judge to decide if, or if not, Toua is a Narcississt. We both have made our case. Anyway, my point about HG not always going for the last word with a reader, is that, FOREMOST, he actually does not have enough TIME to do that, and so just because someone makes the last post, when discussing something with him, does not mean that they have won, nor that he agrees, nor that he disagrees , nor that he has lost, nor that he has retreated, etc. as I said. It takes time to respond to this many readers, and if he did that, all of the work he does within the blog and outside of the blog for this work, would languish, and the overall quality would fall. So, if something is not dangerous, etc., that someone says, he allows the post, even the last word, but it does not indicated that the person is correct or not. Likewise, if you had not replied to me, when I argued, in my conclusion, that Tuoa was a Narcissist, your lack of reply would not mean that you agreed, and that my case was definitive, or not, necessarily, and so the only thing I could say for certain is that you did not respond, for whatever reason. And so, unless you gave your assessment, at a later point, (like you just did) I would not really know your concluding thoughts:Just because I would have had the last word, would not necessarily have meant that I won the debate and that I assessed Tuoa accurately, and it would not have meant that you agreed with me or not. So, Liza, would you marry Tuoa?? I would not. P.S. It seems that we also watched 2 slightly different versions of this anime. Or my subtitled translation was slightly different somehow than what you watched. However, Liza, do not mistake my criticisms of Tuoa, and my concluding that he is a Narcississt, as my disliking him. Not at all! He was terrific. And One Outs was excellent. And, it is difficult for me to imagine another sports anime topping it, but who knows.
PSE,
I am sorry it seems that i failed to convey my point correctly. in my minde, i did answer that to me Toua is not a narcissist. like i said, i think that his apparent detachment and coldness are just a result of his focus and his mastery, he does not need to panic because he knows what he does, he does not show interest to other players, because he is focussed on his strategies.
and he couldn’t like kojima, he just saw how importent basball was for him, and he prefered to lose rather than having him give up the most important thing in his life, it was clearelly empathy. if he liked kojima as an apliance he would engage with him and try to extract fuel, he limites his interactions with others to a minimum, he does not seek attention, he even fides it bothersome.
Now, it is undeniable that toua do have some narcissistic traits and they are stong, but he does not have NPD.
ha ha i can definitely fall in love with someone who has toua’s personality, but it is not a joke, i can only like black haire with vampiric skin, i need a neat contrast to corectly remember a face. i would finde beautifull a blond person, but i just can’t love them, i have no valid explanation, it is just like that.
Liza: You do know, at times, that Narcissists give gifts to their `appliances,` remember? HG has an article and he discusses Narcissists and gifts. I am surprised at you for saying a gift shows empathy: Bad Girl! Gifts do not equate with empathy for them. Plus, It costs nothing for Tuoa to give that title to Kujimo. And, It meant the world to Kujimo. While Tuoa had no yearning nor need for that title. That gift to Kumimo was a good transaction for Tuoa. Tuoa befriended no one. And it was not about time, but about his aims. And Tuoa was not running the planet. And even if he were, men much more focused than he, and with much more responsibility than he, have found time for relationships, whether platonic or interpersonal, or both. But, I do wonder now that he does not bind anyone at all to himself. Not a single person. You do have a strong point there, Liza. That point suggests self-regulation, I think, but I am not positive. ( I can not figure that out). But, Tuoa ghosted the team without a single word and left them, while they were on the way to the championship, because he felt he had done his part of the bet, by putting the team on a strong path. These people were not essential and actually an encumbrance to him for his primary aims at this point in his life. He had no empathy for their feelings regarding him. He did not even deem them worthy enough for him to say to them that he was leaving. Not even a goodbye. Would you have wanted him to have ghosted you like that, Liza? I will answer my own question: You would not. So, I hope you do not fall in love with someone with that personality. But, I do understand your feelings for him, because I found him incredibly attractive as well. Nevertheless, feelings can be overrated. I am learning to look, but to not entangle, this time around. Am I wrong in calling him a Narcissist? Perhaps. Are you wrong in saying he does not have NPD, but that he is only highly Narcissistic? Perhaps. We should put Tuoa through the Narc Detector one day, and find out for sure.
Thank you for these all put together! I may never watch porn again.
Jk…kinda
It entertained me.
Haha good one Jess I agree!