A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8
The occurrence which has been dubbed “Megxit” is the gift that keeps on giving in respect of providing further examples of a narcissist in action.
1. Where´s Archie?
You know Archie, he is the son of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, however, bit part player as he is, a Non-Intimate Secondary Source to Miss Markle and since only an 8 month old child he can be placed on the shelf with a nanny whilst the Sussexes returned to the UK to make their announcement.
Doubtless argument would be made that he was better off remaining in Canada than being ping-ponged over the Atlantic and that is the plausible deniability that would be utilised where criticism is directed at Miss Markle for such a decision, however, this act of leaving her son in Canada is instructive when looking at the behaviour through the prism of her narcissism.
It is important to remember that an isolated act, whilst a red flag, does not mean that the individual is a narcissist. One must look at an aggregate of factors before making such a determination and this is what has occurred with regard to Miss Markle. If you read or revisit A Very Royal Narcissist , A Very Royal Narcissist 2 , A Very Royal Narcissist 3 and A Very Royal Narcissist 4 you have the detailed analysis demonstrating that Meghan Markle is a narcissist. What that means is that all behaviour thereafter can be viewed through the prism of narcissism to interpret it. A normal person and a narcissist do not always act the same, but there are some behaviours which are undertaken by both individuals, but the rationale and driving basis for the behaviour is entirely different. This is because for the narcissist, their behaviour is driven by the need for control and fuel as part of The Prime Aims.
Accordingly, by analysing Miss Markle´s behaviour in leaving Archie in Canada through the prism of her narcissism, what do we learn?
- A Lack of Emotional Empathy – she has none and is unconcerned by her son being left for a period of time away from her
- She instinctively feels she has control over him as he is a baby and therefore incapable, at this very young age, of rejecting her control, thus she can place him on the shelf (which is what narcissists do with secondary sources – friends, family, colleagues, intimate secondary sources such as a mistress or side person).
- She exhibits a Sense of Entitlement to do what she wants
- She is Triangulating Prince Harry. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle triangulates him with his father so that there is a clear basis for ensuring that Prince Harry returns to Canada also so that Miss Markle´s control over Prince Harry remains intact. There is a risk that if Miss Markle had returned to Canada alone leaving Harry in the UK to address the fallout of the bomb that has been dropped (more on this below), Harry might be influenced by the combined forces of the Royal Family to reconsider this planned “stepping back” and thus Miss Markle´s control over him would be weakened. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle´s narcissism achieves two things – plausible deniability “It wasn’t fair to fly Archie back and forth” when in reality this is just the narcissists cognitive empathy at work, she has no emotional empathy for Archie and does not care about him and secondly, it is a. method of maintaining control over Prince Harry by signalling to him “If you want to see you son again, you will have to leave the UK and therefore escape the interfering influences of the Royal Family”.
2. Dropping The Bomb
This is a common behaviour performed by the narcissist and is a manipulation designed to exert control over the various appliances (people) in the narcissists fuel matrix (see Dropping the Bomb ). Several insights can be gained from this :
- There was no consultation for the “stepping back” announcement and thus this as explained in Part 7 demonstrates various aspects of the narcissistic dynamic and the lack of consultation is part of the Dropping the Bomb manipulation
- Having dropped the bomb, Miss Markle then exits. Job done. No hanging around to deal with the aftermath or the consequences, which demonstrates Sense of Entitlement and Lack of Accountability.
- Prince Harry is left behind to deal with the aftermath, which shows a Lack of Emotional Empathy for him in having to deal with upset, bewildered and angry members of his family, A Sense of Entitlement (I do what I want and if I want to throw you to the lions, so be it) and Lack of Accountability (I answer to nobody, not even my husband).
- It is a Haughty Behaviour showing disrespect to the Royal Family, yes I have told you what we are doing, no, I am not staying to explain myself to the likes of you, toodle pip!
- It is a manifestation of Control
3. What Birthday?
The 9th January was the Duchess of Cambridge´s birthday and this would ordinarily merit celebration and a degree of media attention. This attention, which is fuel when received by a narcissist, is deemed to be wasted by the narcissist when it goes to somebody else and the narcissist´s inherent trait of envy will come to the fore. The narcissist unconsciously feels that their control is being threatened and therefore has to respond.
The “stepping back” announcement was made on the eve of Kate´s birthday. Of course, the Sussexes would claim this was pure coincidence (Plausible Deniability) and if one was dealing with a non-narcissist, that would be the case, but because we know we are dealing with a narcissist, one looks at that behaviour through the prism of the response of a narcissist so that coincidence is not the real reason. Instead, this act demonstrates
- Overshadowing by doing something to take attention away from another person and place it firmly on the narcissist. Thus the “fuel” that would have been provided to the non-narcissist (although they do not need fuel) is acquired by the narcissist. Fuel is the lifeblood of the narcissist
- Control – the threat to the control is reduced or extinguished
- Lack of Emotional Empathy – Miss Markle does not care about Kate´s birthday and will readily dismiss it through the exhibited behaviour
- Sense of Entitlement – I do as I see fit when I see fit and in whatever manner I see fit, regardless of the impact on anybody else.
4. Working For A Solution
It has been reported that following the “stepping back” announcement, the Queen mobilised by organising discussions with the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Cambridge in order to direct senior staff to work with the Sussex household and government to find a solution within days. Good luck with that.
- Miss Markle has exited already, therefore making it difficult to achieve a solution. This demonstrates her Lack of Accountability, Sense of Entitlement, Need for Control and Lack of Emotional Empathy
- Prince Harry finds himself caught between his family and his wife. How many of you who understand what it is to be caught in the grip of a romantic ensnarement have found yourself in such an invidious position? How many of you found yourself agreeing with family but having to do what your narcissist spouse/partner wanted in order to avoid devaluing behaviour from the narcissist? Plenty of you. By leaving Prince Harry in such a torn situation this means that the prospect of a solution becomes limited and coupled with point one above, means it far more likely that Miss Markle gets her way and maintains control. In the less likely event that some kind of solution is found, it will be one which suits Miss Markle because her narcissism has created this imbalance of power and when a solution is found, it is only because that is what the narcissist wants. The narcissists need for control is such that you cannot guarantee making the narcissist do anything and where you do amazingly achieve a compromise or solution through negotiation, you have just been duped again. It was achieved because that was what the narcissist wanted. That is why it was achieved.
- The Royal Family are sent into over drive responding to the pronouncement of the Sussexes (actually Miss Markle) and she will derive a sense of control and the tail wagging the dog because she is able to exert control, the mainstay of the narcissists existence, over the various members of the Royal Family.
5. O Canada!
After returning in the UK after their six-week break in Canada on Tuesday, the BBC reported that Harry and Meghan visited Canada’s High Commission in London to thank the country for hosting them and said the warmth and hospitality they received was “unbelievable”.
Former actress Meghan, who is American, lived and worked in Toronto during her time starring in the popular US drama Suits, and she has several Canadian friends.
What does this demonstrate?
- Facade Management – I am a kind person and my thanking the High Commission shows that I am kind, polite and decent. All part of the facade management that the type of narcissist that Meghan Markle is, deploys.
- Triangulation – are you paying attention Royal Family, British media, the British people? See how lovely Canada is to me, Canada loves us (me). So, I am going to rub your faces in it by attending the Canadian High Commission to say thank you for allowing me to exert control over you. This is where we will now live so what are you, Britain and its media and its people, going to do to in response to this to allow me to control you?
- Grandiosity – an entire country loves us (me)
- Black and White Thinking – you (Royal Family, the British Media, the British people) have been horrible to me and threatened my control of you and therefore you are all painted black. I do not like you. Canada has been lovely to me and therefore submitted to my control. Canada is painted white and therefore everything about Canada is wonderful, fantastic and amazing.
6. Less Than Charitable But Then Again More Than Charitable
The Sussexes (read Miss Markle) were already preparing to launch their own Sussex Royal charity, which they set up after splitting from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s foundation in June last year.
The Sussexes’ new charity is expected to be global, linked to Africa and the US, rather than domestic – and will have a commitment to female empowerment.
What does this tell us? Yet more evidence of the behaviour of the narcissist.
- Black and White Thinking. I tried to control you, Kate and William, as Non Intimate Secondary Sources (family) in my fuel matrix but you just would not be controlled, so now I do not like you, you are painted black. Remember this response is an unconscious one. So, now you are painted black everything associated with you (Lack of Boundary Recognition) is deemed to be horrible and awful, which includes your charity, so we are splitting.
- Need For Control – I must have control, so I reject you because I am unable to control you.
- Triangulation – look at our charity, it is better than yours.
- Provocation – I am doing my own thing, without you! How’d you like me now? Show me, so that your irritation, annoyance, upset provide me with negative fuel and show that I am controlling you in a different way.
- Grandiosity – your charity is domestic, that is lame. My charity is global, thus it is better and more befitting my status as a global behemoth.
- Magical Thinking – I am a global icon, I am a beacon of female empowerment.
- Facade Management – I have a charity, see I am such an honest, kind, caring and empathic person.
7. Fancy Some Tat?
It was revealed in December the couple had made an application to trademark their Sussex Royal brand across a string of items including books, calendars, clothing, charitable fundraising, education and social care services.
This action again provides insight with regard to the narcissistic mindset of Meghan Markle.
- Control – where you read couple, read Miss Markle. Prince Harry nods when told to by Miss Markle. He is an IPPS who is in devaluation. She makes the decisions and he abides by them, but they are touted as joint in order to manage the facade of harmony.
- Lack of Awareness – this is a crass and tacky step, but the narcissism blinds Miss Markle to it
- Facade Management – this will be touted as a step with regard to achieving the supposed financial independence as part of managing the facade and advancing plausible deniability. It is not, it part of the facade because financial independence will not occur (see below for an element of this).
- Delusional Thinking – I am so loved that these items will sell like hot cakes! My clothing line will be a huge success, I am a person of style! So declares a person who apparently uses spray tan, a hair extension and wears unsuitable clothing.
- Grandiosity – social care and education provided under the Sussex brand because that is what really matters when delivering those services, yes? I am the educator and I am the saviour. Grandiosity at work.
8. Financial Independence (On My Terms)
It seems that this could actually be achieved because Prince Harry has a multi-million pound fortune as part of his inheritance from Diana, Princess of Wales. Miss Markle apparently has a multi-million pound fortune as a woman of independent means, therefore they should be able to look after themselves (plus those Sussex branded calendars and How To Learn To Be An Global Phenomenon Education Packs are bound to bring in the money). Therefore why is it then that, as reported by the BBC,
- The couple said the Sovereign Grant paid for 5% of their official office from 2019, with the remaining 95% being funded by Prince Charles through his income from the Duchy of Cornwall. Basically pater is paying?
- They will retain Frogmore cottage, the Grade-2 listed property in Windsor that cost taxpayers £2.4m to renovate, as their official residence so they have a “place to call home” in the UK.
This evidences further narcissistic behaviours
- Hypocrisy
- Sense of Entitlement
- Lack of Empathy
- Poor Boundary Recognition
- Asset Acquisition – what is yours is mine, what is mine, stays mine.
The saga of the Sussexes continues to provide an excellent guide to narcissism. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it demonstrates to you a host of narcissistic behaviours which you have experienced in your own ensnarements and from studying my work. For those of you who are new to my work, welcome and you should now start to see how certain behaviours which you may have not noticed or you may have frowned at but not realised what they really are, are actually the behaviour of a narcissist. Utilise this saga as an opportunity to learn more about a disorder which is far more prevalent than you may think, use it as an opportunity to ascertain how you may have been affected by narcissists in your life and do something about it and finally recognise how so many commentators in the media completely fail to realise what it is and offer explanations such as this
“Bryony Gordon, a Daily Telegraph journalist who knows and has interviewed the couple, suggested their decision could be linked to their mental health, after becoming a “punching bag” for a “misogynistic and racist” nation.”
There is no doubt that there has been racist behaviour towards Miss Markle and that is unacceptable, but that is not the reason for the decision. It will be used as an excuse, but as this article and the several before it repeatedly demonstrate, this is a narcissist at work and the decision is linked to the need for control and fuel. Perhaps, readers, you will be instrumental in causing the commentators and media to realise what is actually happening here ahead of the inevitable update when we analyse the next behaviour of A Very Royal Narcissist.
To understand more about narcissism access these insightful materials
Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement
What Fuel Feels Like To A Narcissist
The Devastation of the Illusion
and read further works at narcsite.com and HG Tudor´s work available on Amazon.
490 thoughts on “A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8”
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HG, this article was very interesting to read. The explanations you offered on the responses of Harry’s wife, and why, in what circumstances. Your words “there are some behaviours which are undertaken by both individuals, but the rationale and driving basis for the behaviour is entirely different” – using Harry and Harry’s wife as examples, Harry’s mind has been “rewired” to the thinking she has implanted yet his emotions (‘drivers’) are not the same as she is “telling” Harry the reasons for her own “thinking” behind her own behaviours ie what is really ‘driving’ her.
Some people only look at their perceived behaviours of another person but not necessarily the ‘drivers’ behind the behaviours because they may not have considered the mitigating circumstances that took place prior to the resulting behaviours – sometimes, the mitigating circumstances can be absolutely nothing in relation that resulted in the projected behaviour towards someone else outside the circumstances.
I have a question-I do not know your work; I have heard of you. I am writing an account of the severe child abuse I endured by a narcissistic clan. Is this a mistake are they going to smear me worse than I have already been smeared? I live on a different continent and I do think part of me wants to tell those I grew up with what really happened. If this is not going to convince anyone if they are simply going to believe the narcissists I Do I write the book for those who do not know me anonymously just to get it out. I need to get it out some way I do not want to cause myself any more harm but at the same time I know these people need to be exposed. every time I say I am writing a book people say it is better to just let it be because they are better at LYING even through I have FACTS and they only have lies and zero capacity for logic. People say to write it anonymously and that is what I am going to do.
I need more information to advise you accurately and invite you to organise a consultation. On the brief information you have provided, if you want some kind of catharsis you may wish to consider writing the book although this is actually keeping you in the moment and you would be better served by applying your abilities through a no contact regime and consigning the abuse to the past. If you believe it will expose the individuals concerned, this is unlikely to happen for a variety of reasons but the main one being that it is unlikely to generate sufficient interest without professional backing. Should you work come on the radar of those you accuse (and it most likely will) and this will happen far more likely than you achieve wide scale exposure of them, they will react because of their need to assert control.
Lambo, I wouldn’t want to be at odds with anything HG is sayjng because he knows best. I definitely would not recommend publishing something like this to get back/prove to others. You have nothing to prove to anyone. But, writing things down even if it is the form of an article/book whatever you prefer, I have found to be incredibly therapeutic. And whilst you don’t want to get caught up in revelling in the travesty of what happened to you. It can really help to write it down and imagine how they might respond (in your favour of course). Then put it behind you.
also Lambo, I would most definitely recommend a consult and also you may want to consider writing to HG for his, ‘A letter to the narcissist’ series. Where by you write to your narc/s but don’t send it to them and instead send it to HG. All anonymised of course.
Greatly appreciate your work, it has helped me so much. Understanding narcissism is a journey and thankfully a one way system type journey!
Messaging to say its ‘toodle pip’ not doodle pip, may have just been a typo but if was intentional it was cute lol xx
It was typo. Corrected. Thank you. I am pleased my work has helped you.
You have stated several times that Harry is being devalued…can you please explain why? If he is going along with everything she wants and is clearly completely under her control why is he being devalued?
He is being devalued because he is the IPPS and devaluation ALWAYS occurs to the IPPS. Why? See the books Fuel and Fury.
HG, my understanding of Harry being devalued is that apart from what we don’t see going on behind the scenes with the couple , she is now becoming harder and harder to please. In the beginning she would have been happy with everything , now he’s having to do all sorts of extreme changes to make her happy , even the extreme of losing his title and the breakdown of his close relationship with his family. I’m guessing that everything that she was once ok with is now a problem, not to mention the condescending comments she has made about Harry in public. See Meghans father has done another interview and may go to court over this letter from Meghan being published. Drama and trouble surrounds this woman and yet there are still people thinking this is about racism or the media !!
Harry will never be able to please her now for any extended time , I believe this could be seen as him trying to get the golden period back when she would have been happy with everything.
Hi I wish I would have known all this a few years ago, you make my 19 yrs with a narc so clear and I at the time did not realize it.. What I wanted to ask you is a narc really the devil???
The devil is a religious construct. Our behaviour is regarded by some as the work of the devil, Rose, from our perspective it is necessary and not the work of the devil.
Meghan Markle is an unhappy creature, that has to be the center of attention. I would not say that she is a Devil; Meghan is far Worse then a Devil. Meghan Markle is an empty toxic Evil Thing. She destroys people’s lives and families intentionally. Meghan has zero capacity to love anyone, including herself. At Best she might Lust over someone but tires very quickly and goes on to her next supply. Unlike Her other victims, the press does follow her and that in itself must make it difficult to cheat on Harry. Poor innocent Harry; he gave up his family, his friends, his entire life for an Evil Creature who will dump him, if her Fame and Fortune disappear. Archie will grow up and become a toxic narcissist like his mother or hopefully; Harry will get professional help and Run From His Demise and the sooner the better. Harry will be taken back by the Royal Family with open arms. Meghan will go on and continue to captivate people like Oprah and other brilliant celebrities, that have no idea what or Who is a Toxic Narcissist.
Dearest WiserNow,
Sorry for the delayed response precious, just saw your comment
Thank you for your warm sentiments my lovely, you are so kind
After I left home, I didn’t dwell on my childhood, I forged ahead with my life
No one ever knew my story …..I never told anyone (Mr Bubbles was aware)
I think people thought I had the happiest home life
I have never played the victim card, I’ve always been a happy, positive, outgoing person
Even my closest girlfriends never knew and still don’t know everything
Our style of parenting has always been about unconditional love and I believe our kids have turned into fine responsible adults
You are correct in saying the most important are stability, consistency and emotional security in raising children …… something all of us here never had!
Thankfully, I’ve had my questions answered by finding Mr Tudor and all you amazing intelligent lovelies
I’m now a better, more informed person and still learning
Thank you again n hugs to you WiserNow
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
He has also referenced a couple of times that his wife is the same person he married and the bit about he would not choose someone that does not have his morals, not the correct words but similar meaning .
He keeps trying to say You all loved her to begin with !!
Well that was probably before people started experiencing her being a complete pain in the ass. Also before all this drama around every single thing they do , such as releasing a baby pic and the list goes on !!
Giving up his title and having a rift with his family is not what he signed up for when he met and married her !!
I really wish the media would ignore them completely never photograph or write about them again, never turn up at any of their charity things. Just ignore the bloody pair of them completely and let them get on with it as normal people. See how long that lasts before MM has a complete meltdown.
HG, I do not understand that speech that Harry gave at all ?
To me if was a jumbled up nonsense of I still want to but I don’t 🙄
He wants his bloody cake and eat it and I’m glad the Queen has not let them have their way. They can not beat that system, people give it a shake up occasionally but never win.
So he wants to carry on but without the royal title and public funds , wants the continued support of the people but he wants to pick and choose what the media are useful for and for them to treat them like normal people when it suits them and leave them alone.
What a load of crap !!!
I completely get that he does not know that his wife is a narcissist what I don’t get is how he thinks any of this is making any sense. I found his speech full of contradictions and quite frankly ridiculous ??
Am I just being dumb here and not grasping what he was actually trying to say ?
There will be an army of people thinking poor Harry the media killed his mother this is why he’s protecting his shy wall flower wife !!
I actually found it quite manipulative of Harry to talk about his mother in the way that he did in his speech , the reference to Diana’s son getting hitched etc.
There is no doubt that Harry knows the pull on the public hearts of Diana’s boys and that image of the boys at the funeral.
He may well find that the public eventually can’t be bothered with all these over privelaged problems.
Did that speech make sense to you HG?
Hello Lisa, I may well provide my comment on it presently.
I think, in Harry’s speech, he is trying to now bolster his own decision to move forward with his chosen direction. (Perhaps having received some sage advice…but not being open to it.) He is defending his choice – and his wife – to leave the UK, his commitments and the life he has known. I wonder if this is an unconscious defense though.
(Listening to his speech I can’t help but think back to a conversation that I had with a former boss about leaving my job and moving far away – and I totally believed that if I was to save my family; this was the best choice. I indeed was sad but felt there was “no other option”.)
I am looking forward to your commentary HG.
I’m not huge into the royal family but the drama cought my eye this weekend. I started reading about the relationship and my Narc radar went off big time. I Googled Meghan’s name with the word Narcissist and who appears…. H.G Tudor. Mr Tudor beat me to it… SHE IS ONE! Prince Harry is inside the game.
I hope that heads roll if Canadians have to pay a red cent for these idiots’ security.
Of course, Trudolt loves popularity so he wants to foot the bill. I hate our PM.
But what do you really think Lauren?!
Harry is not an idiot. He he is lovely Lauren.
No, he’s not an idiot but hes about to learn an important lesson about the fake persona and NPD. Its a boost to my ego if Prince Harry and the Royal Family can fall victim so can I. The 1st discard is already in the works lets see if he catches on. ~Chicago USA
I understand why you would feel that way Steve. Of course it is natural for us to feel like an idiot when we’re taken in by someone. But it’s not about intelligence it’s about emotional thinking and different world views. They are entirely separate. There is no need to be happy about someone else’s fate because it makes us feel more worthy. Personally I’d rather he. Didn’t suffer.
alex2016. I agree regarding PH having to suffer. I think this points out that it doesn’t matter who you are, your slot in life, your birthright you can be ensnared by a n. No one should have to be treated the way a n treats people
Steve:
“if Prince Harry and the Royal Family can fall victim so can I.”
Bingo. And that is why highly publicized events like this one are a good opportunity to help other targets of narcs understand what they have been dealing with. Nobody likes to admit they’ve been suckered, but when people see how narcs work, they realize that it is their good, honorable qualities that narcs play on, not some kind of weakness. If Harry hadn’t wanted to protect Meghan as he couldn’t protect his mother, if he weren’t the kind of man who wants to keep any promises he’s made, if he didn’t value the true charity of helping other people and the beauty of the natural environment, do you think she’d have found it so easy to snare him?
I forget which of HG’s articles focused particularly on that aspect (K will know), but I intend to start referring people to it when I reply to.comments ripping into Harry’s character. Yes, he has always had flaws, but it was through his VIRTUES that she nailed him.
It’s a great opportunity to bring light to NPD as it plays out in the public eye. The dream would be for him to go through it and start speaking about it. I would not wish it on anyone it was hard time for me.
Violetta
Poor Harry! This is a good article too.
https://narcsite.com/2019/04/05/your-world-in-my-eyes-10/